The Deal of Eternity
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, its characters or Bedazzled. They belong to people much more creative than I am.
AN: Reminder: "blah blah" talking and 'blah blah' thoughts
"Where are we?" Yuffie asks. She looks around and sees trash on the floor, a king size bed without sheets and posters of nude girls on the walls. The place looks like a sleazy hotel room rather than an actual place someone would live in. Yuffie can even hear couples moaning and screaming through the walls and blushes at the sounds.
"A place you would never have seen without my help," the Devil proclaims. He flings his arms out wide to indicate the entire room, "Welcome to Reno Mission's bedroom."
The Devil sees the disgusted look on Yuffie's face and smiles. "I know a hell hole right? Actually not even the pits of hell are this bad," he says. He frowns and looks to his left and right, around the room again. "I may have to redecorate the pits after seeing this," he says.
"Ha ha," Yuffie chuckles.
The Devil smiles at her.
Yuffie smothers her laughter and asks, "Why are we here?"
"Well Reno keeps a journal somewhere," he mutters as he looks around the pig sty, er, room.
"What if Reno catches us?" Yuffie asks.
"Don't worry, he won't see you," the Devil assures her. "Besides he's in the shower. Naked." Yuffie's jaw drops.
"Go on. Have a peek. We both know you want to," the Devil teases her.
"You must think I'm some pervert don't you. That's what you think. You must think I'm some sad, twisted, pathetic loser," she accuses him.
The Devil nods his head shamelessly. "Yes," he tells her.
"Well maybe just a quick look," Yuffie mumbles. Yuffie walks to the bathroom door and tries to see through the tiny open crack.
"Focus Yuffie," the Devil admonishes her. "We're here for a purpose." The Devil spies a blue notebook on the bed and picks it up. He opens it, sits on the bed and reads the first page. "Yuffie I've found it," he tells her.
Yuffie rejoins him quickly. "Hey you can't read that! That's Reno's private things," she tells him.
"Is it ever. Listen to this," the Devil tells her. He begins reading a passage in the notebook, "Last night was one of the most incredible nights of my life. I still don't know what any of the chicks' names were but I brought them back here, gave them some beer and banged all five of them like a bongo drum."
Yuffie shakes her head, disbelievingly. "No way. You made that up," she accuses him.
The Devil smiles smugly and holds out the notebook to her. "Oh trust me Yuffie dear. I'm not that cynical and depraved," he tells her.
Yuffie frowns at him and the Devil smiles mischievously. "Well maybe I am, but in this case the truth is far too much fun," he admits to her.
Just then the bathroom door opens and Reno walks out. Without a towel.
The Devil shrugs, disinterested and unimpressed and goes back to flipping through Reno's journal. Yuffie has her hands covering her mouth and trying to keep her eyes from bulging out.
The Devil looks at her reaction to Reno and shakes his head. 'If I ever had any doubt the girl was a virgin it's gone now. No experienced woman would be that affected.' He flips through some more pages, easily identifying where Reno strayed from the truth. 'He had Nicole Kidman and Pamela Anderson begging to suck on him? Yeah right.' The Devil flips through more pages until he comes across what he is looking for. 'More bull shit but she won't know the difference.'
"Yuffie listen to this," he orders her. The Devil clears his throat and in Reno's voice begins to read, "I meet many beautiful, funny and exciting women, but I just can't seem to love them. I find myself turning away from them and looking for someone else. I don't know who she is or where I'll meet her but I know that she will be my soul mate. She will love me for who I am and never try to change me. She will be secure enough in my love to let me have a night out with the guys if I want. She will love chocolate ice cream, dogs, Budweiser and only root for the Sector Six Saints. Where are you my dream girl?"
The Devil snaps the notebook shut with a roll of his eyes and sticking his tongue out briefly as though what he just read left a bad taste in his mouth.
Yuffie smiles. 'So that's what he wants in a girl huh?'
Reno disappears into the bathroom carrying some clothes he took out of the closet.
Yuffie watches him disappear into the bathroom with a soft smile on her face. She turns back to the Devil and some of the happiness and joy in her face fades.
The Devil sees the difference in the look on her face and grits his teeth in irritation. 'What in the name of God is wrong with this girl? Can't she see what a piece of trash this guy is? Why is she so willing to risk her immortal soul for such a shallow boy?'
"So that's what he really wrote huh?" she asks him.
The Devil holds out the notebook to her. "You can see for yourself," he tells hernonchalantly.
Yuffie takes the notebook and reads for herself Reno's words.
The Devil watches her face carefully. 'At least she didn't ask if that is what Reno really wants.' The Devil doesn't pause to wonder why he is relieved he didn't have to lie to the girl.
Yuffie finishes reading the passage and drops the notebook onto the bed. 'Wow, that was so deep.' She stares at the notebook on the bed as though it was a copy of the Mona Lisa itself.
The Devil watches her staring at the cheap notebook and waits for her to say something. When she doesn't say anything after a minute he stands from the bed silently and snaps his fingers in Yuffie's face. "Yuffie my dear I have an earth quake in Mideel in six minutes so is there any chance of you making a wish?" he asks pleasantly.
"Yes," Yuffie says. She breathes deeply. "I wish I was exactly like Reno's dream girl and he loves me very much," she says.
"Alright," the Devil agrees with a smirk.
"Nuh uh," Yuffie stops him. "I wish I was exactly like his dream girl in the notebook not like some psycho girl from a nightmare he had a year ago or like some curvy bimbo from a wet dream either," she tells him.
The Devil frowns deeply, this time really discomfited. "How do you know what a 'wet dream' is?" he asks softly.
Yuffie shrugs to the notebook. "Reno wrote about a dream he had of Tifa in there," she says as if thatanswers everything.
"Oh," the Devil breathes in relief, telling himself he only cares because of her necessary virginity. He smiles at her. "Very well Yuffie dear. Your wish is my command," the Devil tells her and snaps his fingers.
Yuffie disappears in a flash of red light.