A/N: Yes. I'm back. Back again. Xavior's back. Tell a friend. I just won't die, damn it. It's not gonna happen.

Chapter 2: Unwell

"Kid… I don't know you… I told you, I hardly know who I am. Stop following me."
"Unh-uh! Not gonna happen, Spike-person, I'm not gonna leave you alone! Not till you tell me why you're here on Earth if you died on Mars!"
Spike whirled around. "I don't know, damn it! And I guess I didn't die, huh? That, or heaven is even more damn idiotic then I thought. Just STOP!"
Ed pouted. "If Ed cannot follow Spike, Lunkhead must follow Ed, I say! We shall go on grand adventures! Bang! Pow! How do you say useless in Texan, Faye-Faye asks? LUNKHEAD! Heeheehee! Cowgirl Ed is on the job, mmhmm!"

"What ARE you talking about, Ed?" Spike was honestly intrigued. How did he ever meet this kid? She was obviously nuts. "A better question… why am I still here?" He turned to walk away, and Ed promptly jumped in front of him, walking backward in perfect rhythm.
"Lunkhead Spike must follow Cowgirl Ed!"

"No."
"Yes! And we shall have fantaaaassstical adventures and stuff, and get all those nasty little outlaws! It's a roundup! Bounty hunting is the job for you, poofy-head man!"

"Worth a shot. What the hell ARE you, kid? And what's with all the bouncing around?"

"Ed… is Ed. And Ed acts like Ed because Ed is Ed. What is Spike's excuse for getting all stabbed and stuff, huh? At least I have a good one."
Spike lit up a cigarette. "Touché, kid. All right, I'll give it a shot. One thing though."
"Yesss?"

"I got a feeling I'm dead for a reason. So don't tell on me, kid."
"Oui, oui, pinky swear for the Spike-person not to tell on his lunkhead self, I agree!" She stuck her pinky out.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Ed is very serious."
"I really should start listening to that little voice inside. The one that goes 'Dumbass!' every now and then."

"Heeheehee, yes, Spike-Spike should. But he doesn't, and that's why he's a lunkhead!"

"Whatever you say, Ed." Spike gave a small shrug and stuck out his pinky. "Ah, what the hell. It's a deal."

Jet sat, watching TV. The phone began to ring, and he answered, his old friend Bob showing up.
"Things aren't so good any more, Jet. You remember what I said?"
"Yeah. The police are run by the syndicate."
"Well, guess what happened to the syndicate with Spike and Vicious dead? Yeah. We've been keeping stuff quiet, but the ISSP is falling apart. There's no law in the universe any more, Jet. I thought you ought to know. You're the Black Dog, you know. You're a legend. Even the people who don't like you have to respect you."

Jet sighed. "I'm not a cop any more, Bob, and I never will be. The universe isn't my problem. Besides, I have my own problems."

"Like what."
"A dead partner, for one. Look. I'd love to help… but there's nothing left for me to do. If I ever decide to save the world, I'll get in touch." Jet hung up. "Man, Spike dies and suddenly everyone expects me to pick up the slack. Go figure… That's life."

"So, then, Ed… who's our first target?"
"Already right back on track Mr. Spike-Spike! His name is Iramitsu, and he's a pretty nasty guy, that's what they say! Connected with one Red Dragon syndicate!"
"Hmm, sounds familiar. Still, money is money, right? Gimme a location, Ed."
Ed nodded, and immediately flipped over, her toes flying across the keyboard. "Last sighted in a city about three miles straight thataway, mmhmm mmhmm!" One foot shot off from the keyboard, pointing in a northwestern direction. "Just head down there and there he will be!"
Spike shook his head. "Will you ever cease to amaze, Ed?"
"Yep!"

"Let's go, then, before that happens."

"Roger that, Spike-person!"

Spike sat outside the bar in this desert town, huge sombrero making his already ridiculous hairstyle even more odd-looking as he napped. He smirked from behind dark sunglasses, and then looked his way toward the man, quickly IDing him and walking up. "Hey. How's it going?"
Iramitsu waved him off. "Fine, fine."
"I think the word they usually scream at this point is freeze. Would you mind?"

"Bounty hunter?"
"Yes indeed." He tossed the sombrero into the air, and Iramitsu spun, swinging on Spike, who dropped down and slammed his fist into Iramitsu's gut. "Now, that wasn't very nice."
The bounty looked up. "No… Spiegel… you're dead."
"That's the local news' standpoint on it, anyway, isn't it? But here I am, in the flesh, huh. Imagine that. How do you know me, anyway?"
"If you don't remember, I'm not going to tell you."
Spike shrugged. "Fine. If that's the way you want it…"
"You're a man with no past and now, no future, Spike… When you remember who you are, remember this, too… Vicious and Julia are dead."
"I'll keep it in mind. I'm sure the cops would be interested too."
"I doubt it. Besides, they're not going to hear it!" Iramitsu suddenly dropped under Spike's kick, then slammed a fist into Spike's gut that sent him stumbling back a few paces before he regained his composure. "After all… you'd have to turn me in for that to happen."
Spike grinned. "Okay then." He rushed forward, punching and grinning as Iramitsu leaned under the punch. "Ed! Sic 'im!"
A flash of red hair, and Ed was pulling the man to the ground, quickly handcuffing him. "Done, Spike-Spike! One bounty head, all nice and tied up for you! I told ya you'd be a good bounty hunter!"
"I guess you were right… And all in all, it was pretty fun."

"Mmhmm!"

"But how did he know me, anyway?"
"Loooooong story."
"Ed…"
"Ed's not telling youuuuu!"
"Ed… TELL ME NOW!"
"No! Silly lunkhead Spike will never never EVER find out! I'm not gonna talk! You can't make me!"
"You wanna bet?" Spike arched an eyebrow.
"Oooh… do ya feel lucky, punk? C'mon, do ya!" Ed jumped from Iramitsu, pouncing on Spike's head and bounding away.
"Ed, as soon as I get this guy to the station, you are DEAD! YOU HEAR ME? DEAD! Stupid brat…" Spike looked down to Iramitsu, and noticed a slight bit of blood on otherwise empty handcuffs. "DAMNIT!" He slammed his fist into the wall and ran off after Ed.

"Gone, lost, bye-bye mister Iramitsu! Lunkhead Spike lost the bountyhead!"
Spike growled. "Kid, if you hadn't distracted me, he wouldn't have gotten away!"

Ed nodded. "That happens a lot! We always get our man and we never get our bounty!"
"What kind of heroes are we supposed to be, kid?"
"Ed thinks we're the not-very-good-at-their-job kind! But at least it's always fun, right, Spike-Spike?"

Spike shook his head, uselessly. "Yeah… fun's the word for it, alright." Vicious… Julia… what was that guy talking about? I guess we'll just have to track him down. And then… "…Bang." Spike made an almost childish shooting gesture with his hand.

"What's that, Spike-Spike?"
"Ed, see if you can catch Iramitsu's trail. I've got a couple questions for him."
"You got it!"

So long, Space Cowboy…

Spike: On the Next Session of Requiem, we track down Iramitsu! But things are starting to get complicated, as the Red Dragon Syndicate takes a hostage!

Faye: And when I find myself kidnapped, one can only imagine the wacky hijinks that ensue! We wish! This episode's all business and a little bit of comedy as Spike makes his march on the Red Dragon Syndicate like some sort of…

Session 3: One Man Army