This Slow Dance
Welcome everyone, to the year 2007! So exciting! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas (if it applies to you...) and New Years!
I played Trivia Pursuit till 5min to 12. -bows head in shame- but I wasn't alone. Now that... would be just sad. -laughs- my friends came over and we were drinking. Very interesting to guess answers to stuff you've never even heard of before because the game came out way before you were born. fun fun! haha but I got 3 pies! knocked 1 out though... :P
Anyway, sorry it took me so long to update. I've been..well..i would like to say busy, but it would be a lie. Lazy is more appropriate of an answer.
without further ado...
Chapter 6
"And you learned to develop this new skill all on your own?"
Dryden continues to drill Hitomi for answers to his ridiculous questions, ignoring the glares I keep passing him -- silent messages so he would shut his mouth. Hitomi doesn't look quite uncomfortable really... just more tense then anything. She'd been that way since we stepped into the inn, and at her askance, Allen took up watch near the window were he stood now listening to her and Dryden talking.
She didn't tell us why she wanted someone watching out the window, but I'm sure she's worried about having been followed.
I wouldn't put it past Asha.
It was strange, to have her here before me, dressed in the clothes of this country rather then her strange outfit she wore upon first coming here. Draping fabrics. Bracelets. Her hair was no longer short and boyish, but long. Flowing over graceful slopping shoulders, freckled from the sun. Slender fingers clutched the mug of tea she had before her at the small table, the china pressing into her palm as she listened intently to Dryden, as if being asked personal questions wasn't a big deal.
I watched her hands tighten ever so slightly around that glass as she told us about first coming here. About realizing that if she didn't get sold to someone with a lot of money she would be worse of. About how she began to demonstrate bits of her skills to get picked above some of the other women there.
Four years she'd spent here. Four years she'd spent on Gaia. So close, and I didn't even know.
She'd told us that Asha was a cruel man, and was all show publicly. She told us nothing else, but I knew there was something else there. Surging under the surface a tension and horror so deep that she was afraid of being followed by Asha's men. I remember the look on her face as the man knocked that steaming tea towards her. I remember how her body trembled afterwards and how she looked horrified not at the man's actions but at herself.
She looked upon Asha with cold hatred, and I watch as Hitomi turns those same eyes, now void of any anger on me at Dryden's question.
She'd realized we don't find her new powers disturbing, but I have to admit they frighten me a little, just as her visions used to shake me.
Her face forms into slight amusement as she turns back to Dryden, her eyes dancing a moment. That same amusement that crossed her face when I found her at the entertainment tent in the city, when she'd realized I'd ingested some of those "magical" seeds.
"Well... yeah." I realized she wasn't enjoying the questions, but rather the fact she was sitting here with us again. "I did learn on my own. Completely by accident."
"And the illusions?" Dryden was watching her with obvious amazement.
She never ceased to amaze any of us.
She chuckled, a sound that never changed from the last time she was here. Her voice had taken on a smoother, older tone that definitely aroused me, but her laugh... her laugh was still the same.
I love her laugh.
"They're just that... illusions. Some people don't see them though, it depends on their state of mind."
"Thus the wine and drugs."
She passed me another look, and I knew for certain she was teasing me. "Exactly."
And suddenly I needed to ask. "What about..." I falter a moment, knowing this might sound a little... odd, and dreading the looks Dryden and/or Allen will give me. "...I mean... can you make certain people see certain things?"
Dryden isn't looking at me weird, which means I worded the question all right. He just looks more curious than anything else.
Hitomi seems to have been awaiting this question, and, much to my surprise, looks a bit embarrassed. "Well... if I have any sort of bond with that person, yes." She looks away quickly and to Dryden. "I mean, if I know that person well I can make them see certain things. It takes a bit more concentration..." She trails off, and I see her cheeks take on a tinge of red.
I hold back a smile, and feel a bit of wonderment at the happy sensation I feel at her reaction.
Suddenly she looks more beautiful then ever. Her lips pressed tight together as if holding back saying something, her fine eyebrows tilted a little upright. The tip of her tongue coming out to moisten her lips as her hands fidget with the handle on her tea cup before tinkering with the bracelets on her wrist. The fleeting look she passes me again before turning her gaze to the table, and the small smile that slowly comes out.
I can't help but smile.
Dryden is opening his mouth to ask another question, but Allen cuts in. "I think that you've pestered Hitomi enough, don't you think?" He hastily adds a "Your Majesty" more out of forced habit then anything else as Dryden never really cared for the title.
The king leans back from the table, scrutinizing the young woman across from him, then looks at me...
...and seems to suddenly realize something, as he suddenly jumps to his feet. "Yes, I think that's enough for now. I'll be doing paperwork in my study." And he disappears into the room to the right.
Allen walks away from the window, leans down and takes Hitomi's hand in his, placing a soft kiss on the smooth flesh at her knuckles.
I feel only a small hinge of jealousy that fades when I catch the look on Hitomi's face. Amusement?
"It's good to have you back, Hitomi." He smiles at her, all innocence, and she smiles back.
"Thank you, Allen."
"I'll get one of the guards to keep an eye out." He stands straight, then looks over at me, standing off to the side. "I'm going to head to the ship to check up on the crew."
"All right."
He nods in my direction, then gives Hitomi one more small smile before striding towards the door.
I watch the door slid shut, and hear his heavy footsteps going down the hardwood in the hallway. I wait a beat before speaking.
She beats me to it. "I didn't think you would remembered that... thing I did in the tent."
I blushed, simply because she was blushing too, and quickly picked out words that wouldn't make me sound like a bumbling fool. "Oh." Way to go Van. Brilliant.
She rose from her spot at the table, hesitated, then moved to the comfy chairs around the room. She sank into the cushions of one of them, looking terribly frail amongst the bright fabrics of her clothes and the silken pillows. Her hair cascades wonderfully over her shoulder, the rest if pinned back in an elegant twist with pins that looked as if they cost a small fortune.
I fleetingly think that at least she looks well. Not horribly disfigured or malnourished like many of the women in this city. Though I still wanted to get her out and away as soon as possible, the danger in Asha's eyes flashing through her mind once more.
I don't move from my spot because I feel almost afraid to. There is still that one question that lingers in the air. The one neither of us seem to want to ask or speak about.
What happened? How did she come to be here? How did I happen to loose complete connection with her, despite my unwavering love for her. Had I done something wrong? Did she push me away intentionally?
She seemed to have heard my thoughts, or simply needed to get it off her chest. I wondered if it were the former, remembering her hands running along my back and through my hair at the performance. A mind game she seemed able to play if the person's mind would consent to it.
A strange and foreign notion, and I wondered just how far such things could go.
"I tried to get to Fanalia." Her voice was quiet, and she was not looking at me, as if rot with guilt or afraid to see the question in my gaze. "When I was leaving, I tried to focus on Fanalia... on you... but I woke up here, in this city near the port." She shook her head. "They found me shortly after, and because I was unsure of where I was, I kept my mouth shut for a long time. When I realized that something truly terrible could happen to me, I used my name and said that I wish to get to Fanalia, or Asturia... Fried... as soon as possible, but they only said they could see what they could do." She shrugged, but I knew there was a lot of pain in that small movement. "They took me away from the house they had me in, in the middle of the night. I refused to use my name after that, in fear they would use it against me. I knew they already had my name... and if they weren't going to do anything about it when I gave it to them, chances are they weren't going to do anything about it later."
She finally looks up at me then. "I don't know if Asha knows who I am really or not, but I know I can't say anything."
"Dryden told us not to say anything until we figure out something to do about it." I can't help but look frantic. Worried. Distressed. All my emotions must have been playing across my face because she suddenly looked a bit worried herself.
"Please don't put yourself in danger, Van. Any of you. I can get out of this."
I was frustrated, but I could see her logic working, her logic. Ever persistent. Ever unselfish. But I didn't understand how she could get out of it all by herself when she was already enslaved there for four years. What could happen that couldn't have before now?
"Hitomi..." I trail off and shake my head, knowing it will do no good to argue with her.
She must have expected an argument on the matter, as I watched her untense from the corner of my vision, and I looked up to find her staring hard at me.
"Will you promise me?"
I'm baffled. Moved, and all together annoyed and destroyed, but I slowly nod my head, but speak the opposite. "No."
She looks amused for a second, and I can almost hear what she's thinking. Stubborn. Loud and clear. "I didn't expect you to say yes anyway." She reaches across the gap to the table, and I watch as it it's a show of seduction. The soft pale skin on the underside of her arm is revealed to me. Smooth long fingers, splayed out in hopes of reaching the mug, her neck strained out so that I may see the delicate flesh under her ear and down to her collar bone which I long to touch.
I move forward and carefully hand her her mug and she passes me a look of appreciation. Gratitude. "Thanks."
I nod, and move almost right back to where I was previously standing, not finding it safe to be around her when my thoughts were already going wild.
She wraps her fingers around the cup, fingertips meeting at the front in almost an intimate gesture as she brings it up to her mouth and presses her lips to the rim, tipping the cup upwards so she may take a sip. I watch the muscles in her throat work to swallow the liquid. Her eyes narrow when she looks to see how much tea is left, they look closed from my viewpoint. Dark eyelashes pressing into smooth cheeks.
I think my mouth has gone dry, but I'm too "stubborn" to move and get something to moisten it with. There is a jug of water on the table, and more tea in the pot.
"How have you been?"
I snap my attention from her mouth -- where I was definitely staring -- to her eyes which are locked on my face intently. I watch her eyes roam over my features, and I wonder briefly what she sees. Have I changed much?
"Good." Because I can't think of anything else to say. She gives me a look that obviously states she wants more elaboration on my answer. "I mean... Fanalia is flourishing as a merchant country. I believe it's back to the way it was before the war... maybe better when it comes to business."
"I heard that your involvement in the war has led to more attention from the larger countries."
I shut my mouth, feeling like a bit of an idiot as she smiled slowly and explains.
"I have nothing else to do when I'm not performing but catch up with the news of the world." She juts her chin out in a curious manner. "Like... the fact that you're not a prominent member on the" -- here she says a strange foreign word before correcting herself -- "I mean, the Peace Board... they use a different term here." Here she rolls her eyes a little and I wonder what the word she used meant. "But here you are, on a diplomatic mission with Dryden and the other officials anyway."
She knows her stuff, and she knows that I must have come for other reasons. She's pressing me.
"I came, because I had an interest in a name crossed out on the list of refugees."
"Mine?"
"Well, I realize now that it must have been."
She suddenly grins. "Curiosity paid off."
For a moment I can almost forget that things are still very wrong with the whole thing, but it comes crashing down to me when that one question pops into my head again, one not yet answered from her previous explanation. "But, if you were here for only four years... why did we loose contact before then."
I speak the question delicately, as not to hurt her. Or simply as not to hurt myself.
She sets the cup down in her lap where it balances precariously a moment before she puts a hand on it to steady. "No... there are other reasons for that."
I feel my heart sink, at both the possible explanations, and at the look on her face. It looks as if the question hurt her anyway. I didn't want that, so I open my mouth to tell her she doesn't have to tell me -- despite my curiosity-- but she cuts me off.
"I was... preoccupied with other things, Van." I love the way she says my name, even when she's talking about something that makes me feel a bit edgy. "It had nothing to do with you really... I didn't want us to loose contact." There's something about the ways she's talking and the look on her face that suddenly makes me start to worry.
I sensed something was wrong with her, when she was still on earth, and once I found her here I'd assumed it was because she was forced into servitude in this country. But apparently, our connection was lost before all this ever took place.
What happened?
"Hitomi..." I feel a sudden need to be close to her, and perhaps its her stance that radiates this same need in her, as she suddenly looks more vulnerable then ever as she looks up at me. There are no tears. There is no expression that shows any great turmoil. It's just... that one look.
I move towards her, and sit myself into the cushions at her side, not touching her in fear I won't ever be able to let go. She doesn't move any closer to me. We don't look at each other. I stare at the gap between us.
She takes a deep breath, not of sadness, but as if she were giving up on something. Breaking down, and she turns to look at me so suddenly and with such intensity that I'm taken by shock. "They all thought I was crazy."
"What?" Because I don't quite understand what's she's talking about.
"I didn't talk much about you... about Gaia. But after a while I thought it might be ok. I told Yukari, and she said she believed me, so I gave it a shot. I thought, that if they didn't believe me I could say it was all a dream so they'd drop the whole thing, but they didn't. They took me to a doctor who talked to me, but I kept my mouth shut about everything after that. Only..."
Here she trailed off. Turned her gaze to my shoulder rather then my face. A strange look came to her face, but one that I definitely remembered seeing on her before. Countless times during the war.
Self blame?
"Only... I had a vision. One night. I hadn't had one for a long time, but this one came so suddenly..." She trailed off again and looked back to my face. "I saw my parents die. In a fire. My brother too." She took a deep breath, and suddenly I realized that the look in her eyes wasn't sadness, but I deep exceptance. "I told them... they thought I'd lost my mind. They put me into this facility... I don't know what the equivalent would be on Gaia, but it's where they put mentally sick people." I nod, understanding, but disbelieving. "I was in there when the fire happened. I couldn't do anything about it. I left shortly afterwards."
"Hitomi..." I can't think of anything to say. Me who has lost my own parents and a brother. I couldn't quite comprehend the fact that she saw it happen. That she saw it before it happened and couldn't do anything about it.
I also don't know what to do because she doesn't make a move to be comforted.
"That was where I learned to adapt my abilities... in that place." She smiled weakly, much to my amazement. I'm surprised she can still smile at all. I'm amazed at her strength.
"You lost contact with me because you were worried about her parents." It wasn't a question, but she shook her head.
"No... I lost contact because I started to believe I was a little bit crazy myself." She took a sip of tea. A small sip. I could hear her swallow. "I would have... really liked if you were there to talk to through it all."
I suddenly wonder if it had anything to do with me. Could I have tried harder to talk to her. Could I have somehow gotten to the Mystic Moon to find her? I have the pendent, it could have been possible.
"It doesn't matter."
I snapped my attention back to her. "It does matter."
But she shook her head again, and smiled. A slow, strange smile. One that left me both baffled, and caused my heart to begin to hammer as if wanting to be set free.
She leant down suddenly and placed her mug onto the ground, and suddenly her hand was slipped into mine, and I was left to marvel at the sweet softness of it, as I ran my own rough hands along her fingers, her knuckles that felt so incredibly fragile. The small bones in her hands. I indulged myself further, trailing a finger down her wrist, feeling the baby soft skin there, and her veins. Her pulse quickening as mine must have.
I looked from her hands to her face, amazed that I could be this close to her.
A sudden realization made me feel strange, and I tipped my head forward to press against her forehead while she allowed herself a small laugh that escaped me as my mind was elsewhere.
Hitomi was really here, and I was really here with her. This was all so different then how I imagined it, and I had imagined our reunion before. Many times. It was all I could do to keep from agreeing to an arranged marriage. It was all I could do to turn down every women that came my way in hopes of seducing me. I admit that many times I nearly fell of my set path, but in the end I always allowed my conscious to eat away at me so I would not pursue anything I did not truly want.
It was strange... that after all this time we were here, pressing our foreheads together, my hands loosely caressing hers with a sort of innocence I never imagined on our next meeting, as I always had things less honorable on my mind. In my imagination.
"You've gotten so tall." Her voice quiet, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
I laugh.
Hitomi was a grown woman now. I was a grown man. We had changed so much from the last time we were together, but still... still I managed to feel that same amount of love surging through me, still unsure of what I was suppose to do with it. Still unsure around her as always even though my body was calling for something different. I'd forgotten how much she made my words mess up, and how much she made me nervous and pleasantly numb at the same time.
I'd forgotten how terribly confused I got around her. How terribly jealous I got when she looked at other men besides me. How at one point I was sure I would never speak to Allen again if she chose him.
But she was sitting here with me now.
She pulled away, a curious type look on her face, and I suppose I must be acting strangely. Does she expect me to react the same way I used to? Does she think I've changed as she's changed? Does she still love me despite changes like I still love her?
"Kiss me."
"What?" Or perhaps I hadn't really changed that much, as I felt my face instantly heat up, and a tug of nervousness in my gut, along with something else.
She smiled, a mischievous smile that I rarely saw before unless she was being rather coy or clever. It used to come about around Merle, or when she'd said something sarcastic in response to something Millerna or Dryden said.
I didn't quite know how to respond to this, even though I'd thought about kissing her countless times since I've known her, or at least since I've realized my love for her.
She'd kissed Allen... I saw that... but never had she kissed me, and suddenly she was demanding one?
I was more than willing to respond, but my body however, was in a mild state of shock. Sadly, she was the one to initiate anything, once again going against my expectations of our next meeting.
The hand still clutched in mine pressed carefully onto my thigh (how wonderful) and her other hand came up to gently touch the side of my face, rough with stubble, sliding delicate fingers along until they intertwined with my hair and I felt a shiver jolt down my back, the nerve at the base of my spine jumping as if this gentle motion was an erotic caress. Partially I felt it was, as her eyes looked deep into mine before closing. I followed suit, hesitantly placing my free hand on her neck, just below her ear. The curve of her soft flesh beneath my palm and fingers. I longed to touch other areas. Explore, but I kept my hand firmly where it was, unsure if that was even where it was suppose to go in such moments.
I felt like a small boy again, and wondered if this would happen every time her lips found mine, or if it was just something I could (hopefully) get used to.
As her lips pressed against mine I was already hoping there would be more like this to follow.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: ok... this chapter is long enough. I really need to get this up :P The next chapter is a continuation of her visit, I didn't realize how much I'd tried to fit into the chapter plan. -laughs- ah well... stay tuned!
I realize there is a lot of rambling in this chapter. I'm sorry about that ; I tend to get carried away sometimes. hahaha. but yeah. Let's just see Van as a rambler in his head or something and it's all good. O.o