CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The moment that Lorelai had called him, he was out of his office and in his car. It was a miracle that he didn't cause an accident or get pulled over on his way to the hospital. Yet nothing mattered but getting back to his wife. She was awake. Lorelai had said that she was awake and she seemed fine. It was a miracle. He had been given his miracle. His wife was awake and she was going to be fine. He couldn't remember a time when he had been so grateful and so relived.
As he approached Emily's room, Richard saw Lorelai sitting on the bed talking to her. Lorelai's hand was atop her mothers and they were both laughing. He smiled to see them together. Maybe it was a tragedy that was needed to bring them closer together. It warmed his heart to see his wife smile again and to see his daughter huddled next to her bed smiling. It had been many years since he had seen them like this. Many, many years. Perhaps the nightmare of this past week had been worth it, just to see this moment before him.
Emily was about to say something to Lorelai when she noticed her husband standing in the doorway. She bent her head to the side to see around her daughter. "I was wondering when you were going to show up," she teased with a smile.
Lorelai turned around to see her father. "I'll just give you guys a few minutes," she mumbled, knowing that neither of them was paying any attention to her. As she moved to the door, she looked back at them for a moment. She wanted someone to love her that much, to still be in love with her after over forty years of marriage and a lot of hurt and pain along the way. It was impossible to ask for the kind of love that her parents shared, but to find someone who would look at her like her father looked at her mother … She was happy, happy that her parents were together again.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up," Richard said, sitting on the edge of the bed. He reached for his wife's hand, grasping it tightly. It was the first time in many days that he'd held her hand without having to be careful of the IV. Seeing it finally gone made him feel better about her recovery. "I've been sitting here for days waiting for you to open those beautiful eyes." His other hand brushed her cheek, savoring the moment that they had together after so long. To just be able to look into her eyes again was quite a miracle. It was all he had hoped and prayed for for days now. There were so many things that he needed to say to her.
"It's OK," Emily soothed. "Lorelai was here." She closed her eyes for a moment as she felt her husband's hand upon her cheek. They didn't need words to know what the other was feeling. She knew that Richard was relieved. And she knew that her husband was grateful to see her again.
Richard shook his head. "I've been so afraid that I'd never get to speak to you again, to tell you how sorry I am."
"For what?" she asked. "Did we have an argument before I fell?"
"No," he assured her. Richard took a deep breath, holding her hand within his own. "For so many things, Emily… I don't even know where to begin."
Emily let go of his hand, moving to touch his face. "It's OK, Richard. I understand," she smiled.
"It's going to be different from now on."
Emily nodded, smiling. For once she actually believed him. He'd told her many times that their lives were going to be different and he was going to work less and spend more time at home. It wasn't until now that she finally believed him.
"For one thing, I am never going to let you out of my sight again." Emily laughed. "I missed that," he grinned, touching the side of her face. "The way you smile." He ran his fingers across her lips. "The sound of your laughter... The look that you get in your eyes when something surprises you." He looked into her eyes once again. "Thank God, you're all right," he breathed, kissing her hand. "Thank you, God."
Emily looked up at her husband. "What happened?" she asked. Lorelai had begun to explain it to her, but it still wasn't clear. It wasn't clear in her mind. Lorelai kept telling her what had happened, but she still couldn't make sense of it. She needed to hear it from Richard to be able to understand it.
"You fell in the study." Richard rubbed her hand absent-mindedly as he looked at his wife who was trying to make sense of it all.
Emily closed her eyes. She was starting to remember the accident in bits and pieces. "I was trying to reach a book on the top shelf … I remember that."
Before she knew what was happening, she felt her ankle twist and her hand seemed to be getting farther and farther away from the book. Her entire body jerked to the right and her other hand reached out to grab onto anything it could find.
"My ankle twisted and I lost control of my body…" She could feel the snap in her ankle as it had given out on her.
Her head grazed the bookcase, her arm shielding her face as she fell to the ground. Her body met the ground with a loud thump and the sound of her head banging into the hardwood floor echoed in her ears loudly.
"It didn't even hurt when I hit the ground. I just remember lying there unable to move." She looked at her husband, yet she didn't see him but her crumpled body on the floor.
She was lying on a hardwood floor barely conscious and the two most important people in her life were all she could think about. The happiness she'd shared with Richard and the sadness that had always clouded her relationship with her only child. If she didn't make it, she could live with how she had left things with Richard. He would eventually be all right and would know that she had loved him. Yet would Lorelai know the same? Would she know that her mother had loved her, even if she didn't agree with the way her mother had shown her love? Would she ever really know how much she meant and how much she was loved? Emily knew Richard would tell her, but would Lorelai believe him?
"All I could think about was you and Lorelai."
Richard grasped her hand tighter.
She was just too tired to figure it out right now. Thinking required too much work. She'd rest. Then she'd figure out what to do. Emily's eyes slid closed and she drifted out of consciousness.
"I tried to stay awake until you got home, but I couldn't. I felt so tired." Emily closed her eyes, allowing herself to fully accept the memory of her accident.
Richard remained silent as he sat by her side. He couldn't allow himself to think about how horrible it must have been for her to lie there and know that he wasn't around to come help her and to know that she was all alone.
Then she laughed. Richard looked up at his wife, surprised by her reaction.
"That's not a very good story, is it?" she asked. "I nearly killed myself trying to read a book."
Richard chuckled softly. "No, it isn't a very good story," he agreed. "But none of that matters now."
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"For what?" he asked.
Emily reached her left hand up to run it down his shoulder. "For being so careless and causing you all so much worry. Joshua told me how much I scared you."
"We've all been worried, Emily. Especially Lorelai," he added. "This has been quite hard on her." He was so grateful to have his wife back and to be sitting here talking to her again.
Emily smiled, cocking her head just a bit to the side. "Are you going to just keep looking at me like that or are you going to finally kiss me?" she asked.
Richard leaned towards her, pressing his lips against hers. It felt like he hadn't kissed her in a really long time. Like it was new and exciting all over again. When they finally broke the kiss, he pressed his forehead against hers. "Thank you, God," he whispered. Emily smiled, grateful to be loved by such a man as her husband.
"Grandma! Oh my God!"
Richard and Emily both turned towards the sound of Rory's voice. Richard moved aside so that Rory could hug her Grandmother. "I'm so glad you're awake!" She threw her arms around her grandmother, elated to see her again. "We've all been so worried," she gushed, pulling back to stand next to Richard. "The doctors said nothing was wrong with you, but you weren't waking up and no one knew why and-" She felt Richard place his arm around her and realized that she was rambling.
"I'm going to be just fine," Emily reassured her granddaughter, reaching out to squeeze Rory's hand. "Just a few broken bones, that's all. A few weeks of physical therapy and I will be back to my old self again."
Lorelai stood in the doorway. Those were the words she had expected her mother to say to her. She had expected Emily to tell her that she was going to be fine and that all would be well again soon. Yet she hadn't. Instead her mother had been honest with her and shared her pain and her sorrows. Now she was being the strong grandmother for Rory. But she had been different with Lorelai. Different for their first time in their relationship.
Rory smiled. "I hope so, Grandma. You've only got two weeks to get ready for my graduation! I can't do it without you and Grandpa there, too." She hugged her grandmother again as Lorelai and Richard stood to the side watching them. Lorelai looked up at her father and they both smiled.
Preston Nelson stood outside of Emily's room. He'd come by to see Joshua and learned from his son Paul that Emily was in a room down the hall. He had debated stopping by to check on her. It had been a while since they had seen each other. They hadn't talked too much after Melinda's death. There was an unspoken understanding between the two of them. They were the two most important people in her life. They didn't need any words or gestures to express their grief to each other. Yet it still hurt to see each other at times and to realize the magnitude of his wife's loss.
After a few months it was just too hard to be around each other. They both missed her too much and the other's presence brought back too many memories, even if they were happy ones. It was still painful to think about the loss of the few months that they were supposed to have left with her. Melinda had been ill; she wasn't going to survive. Everyone, including herself, had accepted that. Yet they didn't know that her remaining time would be cut short so suddenly and that no one would have the chance to say goodbye to her. No one could have known that she'd trip over her grandson James' shoes and hit her head on the brick surrounding the fireplace. And no one could have predicted that she'd never wake up again, not even in her final moments.
Emily saw someone outside the door. Preston had no choice but to go inside now. "Paul told me you were here," he explained, entering the room. It was just her inside. Richard and Lorelai must have been down the hall somewhere. Just the sight of her made his heart ache. Three years had passed and yet he still wasn't used to being in the same room with her and Melinda not being there. They were always together, it seemed. He had met Melinda and Emily was standing next to her. He had married Melinda and Emily was standing next to her. Their first child was born and Emily was standing next to her. They'd always been part of each other's lives.
"Yeah, a minor fall, but I'm fine now." She looked down at her arm. "Well, I will be all right again soon." She tried to smile and laugh. "I'm battered and broken for the moment, it seems, but I'll be better in no time."
"I'm glad to hear it," he smiled.
They both looked at each other in silence. Emily could still see the twenty-six year old man that had stolen her best friend's heart. She could remember standing outside the delivery room when he had walked out with his first grandchild in his arms. And she could see the man that had stood in front of his wife's casket and realized that he would never see her again. In that moment, she was grateful to be alive. She was grateful that her husband would not know Preston's pain.
"She forgives you, you know…" He looked at her oddly, not understanding what she meant. "For that morning and what you said to each other." Emily didn't know where the words were coming from. In a way, she didn't really know what she was saying.
"How do you know…" his voice trailed off. He'd never told anyone about the fight that he and Melinda had that morning. He shook his head. It didn't matter how she knew. He didn't even want to know how she knew.
Emily smiled at her old friend. "I miss her so much," she sighed. "Every day I think about her."
He nodded. "Me too. Sometimes I think that I'm forgetting the sound of her voice. Or the way she looked. The most random moments of our life come back to me and it stops me in my tracks every time. Even now, three years later."
Emily was about to say something when Richard came back into the room. "Preston, how nice to see you," Richard said. Preston turned around to greet Richard, breaking his gaze from Emily.
Emily watched as the two men shook hands. Despite the fact that she and Melinda had been such close friends, their husbands had never really had a chance to spend very much time together. Their children were nearly the same age, as were their grandchildren. Yet despite all that they had in common they had never really formed a significant friendship.
"I should be going. I just thought I'd stop by to see you as I was already here. You look wonderful, Emily. I'm glad that you're all right."
"Thank you, Preston," Emily smiled.
"No, Emily," he shook his head. "Thank you."
The two of them smiled, neither one wanting to look away from the other. It was almost as if they could feel Melinda with them.
"What was that about?" Richard asked after Preston had left the room.
"He misses his wife."
"You know," Richard said, sitting down next to Emily. He absently reached for her hand. "I never really understood why it was so difficult for him to move on after she died. I mean, it's been three years now."
"He didn't get the chance to say good-bye. None of us did. She was just gone one day and we were left with her body."
Richard nodded. He still felt terribly guilty for having missed Melinda's funeral. He'd been such a fool. There were a few times when Melinda had told him off, telling him what a pigheaded fool he was for hurting Emily. Yet she had been protecting her best friend. And he should have been at her funeral with his wife and not playing golf with his clients. It was because of Melinda that Emily had forgiven him for lying about Pennilyn and because of Melinda that they even had a future together. And he had not been there for her funeral because of some stupid work obligation.
"I understand him now." Richard held her hand tightly in his own. "I don't think I've ever actually realized until this week that you might not always be here. It now seems absurd, but it never once crossed my mind that something could happen to you. I guess I just always assumed that I'd have you in my life forever."
"And you will," she smiled.
"I'm sorry, Emily, that I wasn't there." Emily wasn't following him anymore. "When she died, I wasn't there for you. I should have known that you weren't really as all right as you wanted me to think. I was so focused on myself and my work … like I always was."
"It was three years ago, Richard. I let go of a lot of things after our separation. They weren't as important as they had once been."
"There's just one thing…"
"What is it?" she asked, trying to push herself up and into a more comfortable position. Richard tried to help her and she finally found a comfortable way to sit. Her whole body was sore and stiff.
"I know that I promised you could go first, but I … I can't keep that promise, Emily. You're stronger than I am. You have Lorelai and Rory and so many friends. You'll be all right if I die, but I won't be if I ever lose you. This past week has been a nightmare. I don't know how I could ever manage without you. You can't die first."
Emily smiled. She let go of his hand and touched the side of his face. "All right," she whispered. "All right. I will go first … but not for a long time."
"Good." Richard leaned forward to kiss her. "I love you, Emily Gilmore."
"I love you, too," she smiled back. Emily had to blink away the tears that came to her eyes.
Richard smiled, kissing her again.
"Can you do something for me, Richard?" she asked.
"Anything."
"Can you find a way to get me out of here? I want to go home."