This Slow Dance

Chapter 11

The humming is a small comfort. A blanket that folds over me repeatedly with soft fabrics, soft gentle tones. A song I never knew from a culture I never heard about because I was a whole world away. A hand smoothes through my hair, careful of the cut along my forehead. The bruises on my arms and legs are pains I slowly shut out.

All there is is the humming. The smoothing of my hair. The gentle motherly touch with hands that hold me up to drink some water. Hands that scoop mouthfuls of nourishment into my mouth and apply fresh bandages to my small cuts.

I'm exhausted. The tune I listen to is sad. It echoes my thoughts and emotions as if I was the one making the small noises. The small hums past pressed lips or slack jaws.

I press my eyes tight together to ward of tears that threaten to fall. I remember being like this before. At some time. Some place. Small memories that seem to be part of the strange dream world you pick things out of. Sometimes I have to ask if they really happened.

"Maybe it's for the best. You should stay here. Gaea is to cruel for people like us."

Like us. Had I become one of them in the time I've been here.

Would Van want me?

Somehow I knew, through all this, he was still waiting for me to come to him.

I couldn't find the energy to go to him.

Analeigh sits across the room from my bed, watching me with a deep frown that shows her thoughts. She doesn't ever want to end up like me. She doesn't want to live her dreams if this is what happens.

She thinks I'm foolish, but it wasn't her that told Asha.

"That little girl is gone?"

I close my eyes in answer to her question. Shift into a better laying position, hiss pain through my teeth when my muscles scream at the action. No more. Don't move.

"Let her alone, child. Don't start talking about things like that right now." Laurette was ever the passive guardian. Her hands stroked through my hair again, she'd stopped humming.

My voice cracked when I spoke. "She is with them?"

"You saw it happen, didn't you?" Her voice turned rough. Angry. She'd watched the whole beating, silently from the corner.

Asha found out about Celes after he'd already rendered me motionless.

I wondered if Van and the others were leaving right now. They should leave soon.

"I don't understand why you came back here." Analeigh crossed her arms over her chest.

I didn't know why I came back either. It was stupid. Irresponsible. I'd screwed everything up.

Laurette thankfully stayed quiet about Van and me.

"Run along. You can do my chores while I'm in here."

Analeigh got to her feet. Moved out of my line of sight. I didn't bother to move my head as her footsteps crossed the floor. She exited the room, shutting the door behind her.

Laurette was silent for a long time, and I felt myself sliding into sleep before she spoke again, startling me.

"You're not in the right mind set. Never have been."

A smile comes to my lips. It hurts my cheeks. "I know."

She falls silent, her hand rhythmic through my hair. Her eyes meeting mine. "Don't leave. Don't do anything to make him angry again."

I meet her eyes with a challenging look of my own, knowing I'd already made my mind up. When I felt better, I would get out of here.

I owed Van that. I owed Celes that.

"Will you still help me leave?"

She frowns deeply, and doesn't say anything, only turns her eyes away, straightening my pillow under my head.

My pendent feels warm against my chest.

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Celes is unearthly quiet, her small hand clutched in mine as we stand side by side on the dock watching the preparations for departure.

I felt silly standing there when I normally would have been helping load supplies and getting everyone in order, but we'd found out that Celes has a tendency to venture off when left with someone besides Dryden or me. She'd taken quite a liking to both of us it seemed, though we could never be sure as her expressions never showed much and she hardly spoke.

When she did speak, it was usually something unexpected or surprising that slipped from her mouth in that quiet voice of hers.

I looked down at the little girl as she swung my arm back and forth with hers. She stood planted to the dock like she absolutely belonged there, wearing the little sandals she'd came to us with, and a small dress that Dryden had found in the bazaar outside the inn. I'd managed to pull her hair back with a piece of string but, much to my disappointment, it was starting to fall out all ready.

Some of the refugees didn't look all that happy to be returning I found, and I wondered what kind of life they'd set up for themselves here. No doubt many of the men had a good time... and I'm sure many of the women didn't stay here by choice. All these people we were bringing "home" after they'd run away from the troubles of their country. I couldn't help but glare at some of the finer dressed men, who bowed hastily to me in passing.

All eyed Celes curiously. I wondered what they thought of me having a little girl suddenly I didn't have before. Not good things probably.

I force myself to release some of the tension in between my shoulders, but it's been hard these past few days. Every second I expect Asha or his men to come up and cause trouble. I worry I won't be able to get her out of here like I promised Hitomi.

And Hitomi... I worried endlessly about her, knowing she probably got into trouble for skipping out on that performance. What was Asha capable of? I do know that whenever I closed my eyes I pictured him swatted a boiling hot kettle in her direction. I picture it as if she didn't stop it in midair much to my horror.

I'd never wanted to kill someone this bad since the war. And even then, I'm starting to believe that Asha tops the list over Dilandau anyway.

Celes arm stops swinging and I look down at her, only to find her looking up at me. Her one dark eye fixed on my face, the other hidden behind her eye patch. I still wondered what was under there. Did she not have an eye under there? An empty socket where it should be? A birth defect?

I didn't talk to her, simply because she didn't make a reply very often. She seemed to speak whenever she felt she wanted to and never in reply to others. I didn't see it as bad manners, but simply an intelligence that required her to think about what other people say rather then jump right into answering. Sometimes it seems that she didn't find the comment needed an answer.

Or perhaps she was just shy.

Allen approached and I turned my attention to him. He looked stressed, his eyes turning downwards for a second to the little girl at my side before returning to my face.

"Once we get everyone together, Van, we'll have to leave right away."

I nod. I'd already thought of this. "I know."

He hesitates before speaking again. "Do you think Hitomi is coming?"

I don't know. I don't know what to say.

Celes does however. "She's going to try."

Try. What did that mean?

I swallowed and turned my gaze on Allen. Final. As if Celes' words were all I need. The knight turns hesitant eyes on Celes before making a hasty bow and turning on his heel. I watch him navigate across the dock, skirting around groups of refugees and supplies that were being loaded.

I turn my gaze to Celes again, and she looks up at me just as I do. A small smile comes to her lips; something I've come to realize is rare for her.

"Don't be sad."

"I'm not sad. Just worried." I tell her quietly, moving out of the way, pulling her with me -- closer to me -- as a large man walks by carrying a small crate.

"You'll be sad later on. You're sad about a lot of things."

I frown at her, and watch as she turns to regard another man walking towards us carrying a net over his back full of a native fruit of a red colour. Celes turns back around suddenly, walks right up to my knees and holds her hands out to me, which always means she wants to be picked up.

I bend and scoop her into my arms, taking a surprised step backwards as the spot she'd previously been occupying is splattered with juices of the fruit the man had been carrying. It appeared that the bag had split and the fruit had spilt everywhere. The large man carrying them now bent in front of us, gathering the ones that hadn't broken into his arms, cursing as he did so. I gave him a dirty look for swearing in front of a little girl and moved away to a less busy part of the port.

Celes is quiet again and turns one dark eye to my face as I shift her against my hip. One of her hands clutch at my shirt, the other small arm draped over my shoulder.

She has a little bit of fruit juice on her cheek that I wipe off with my sleeve. Then stop as I suddenly replay what happened. It would have seemed like a coincidence if I hadn't ever met Hitomi.

For the first time, I actually fully consider the question of Celes' parentage. "Who's your mother?" My voice quiet.

She is quiet still, just staring at me. I resist the urge to yell at her.

"Celes… who is your mother?"

"I don't know."

I sigh, knowing that's the best I'm ever going to get out of her. It, too, occurred to me how sad it was to not know who your own Mother was and having your father be such an horrible person as Asha.

"Right…" I see Dryden standing on the other side of the dock, and head towards him, Celes falling silent again in my arms, sitting up to watch everything going on around her.

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I try not to pass out by the amount of blood all over the room, but my head still feels very light and not entirely from the recent beating I'd received.

Laurett stood across the dark puddle from me, along the far side of my room. As asked, she'd avoided getting blood on her to keep her out of it. I was drenched in it. My hands. Arms and torso.

It was smearing along the walls, along the floor. Speckles of spray over my mirror and on the bed.

I knew that if this crime site were to be seen on Earth, it would look staged, but I knew that Asha wouldn't look into it very much.

He wouldn't want stain like this on his hands. On his name.

The blood itself was from a boar the kitchens had slaughtered that morning.

I breathed in and out deeply to still my sickness, and ran a hand across my cheek, ignoring the sticky wetness it left there. "This should be ok. Right?"

Lauret was silent, simply staring at me.

I planted my hands on my sides, further spreading the boar's blood and took a deep unsettling my breath. Rattling in my throat. "I'm ready. I need to leave here."

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OOC: Oh my god my little ones! This chapter suckssss but I needed to get something out! I've been so busy with essays and papers! I'm so sorry with how late this is TT-TT