72 HOURS - CHAPTER FIVE

It was 3:00 a.m. The hospital staff had given up on trying to get me to leave. They'd even allowed Tank to bring me some clothes so I could shower in one of the empty rooms. Tank had insisted on standing guard outside the door for fear that one of the nurses would try to join me and for fear that Morelli might come back and try to kill me when my back was turned. I argued with him that Morelli might have a hot temper but he was too honorable to come at a man from behind. Tank wasn't convinced, and I was too tired to argue with him.

I dozed off and on in the chair in Steph's room, but I was constantly listening to see if she needed anything.

I thought about what she had told Tank at the warehouse and what I'd heard her say earlier today. I tried to convince myself she didn't know what she was saying. That's what I kept telling myself. Hell, with all the drugs they continued pumping into her, it's a wonder she even remembered our names. When I said the same to Tank he waited for the doctor to come in and asked him point blank.

"Nope." the doctor responded. "The medicines we have Miss Plum on are straight pain killers. She's unlikely to remember anything she's saying at the moment, but I can assure you they wouldn't cause her to be delusional in any way."

Two hours later I was back to rationalizing things again. Oh, I knew Steph loved me. She was too open and kind and generous not to give her heart wherever it was welcome, but she wasn't in love with me. I always knew one day she'd marry Morelli and settle down. I was just giving her a chance to explore life before she took that step.

I got up and walked over to sit on the side of the bed. It wasn't the first time since I'd met her that I sat and watched her sleep. It was the first time I'd willed her to wake up and talk to me. As I sat there watching her I couldn't help but think back over the time since I met her. The smart ass remarks and wise ass mini-ranger costumes she'd put on from time to time and the grin she'd give me when I called her on it. The look on her face the first time one of the Porsches I gave her blew up. And then when she handed me the plates and registration to the stolen BMW. She had been so worried about my reaction with that one that a tear had slid down her cheek. I'll never forget that moment. Just seconds before I kissed her for the first time.

I closed my eyes and drew a quiet breath. How could I have possibly known what that kiss would do to me? That first kiss and every kiss after has been like that first ice cold drink after a long, hot trek through the desert or jungle with no water. I should know. I'd been there many times. Just as I'd known I should have walked away and washed my hands of her out of pure self-preservation, I'd also known it was too late. It just took me a long time to admit it.

She was sweet and fun and just a little goofy. She was like a little kid trying to run before they could walk. She had a bright mind and incredible instincts that she repeatedly referred to as luck. And she had slipped into my heart and wrapped herself around it before I had a chance to put up any walls to prevent her.

I looked back down at her beautiful face and could barely resist the urge to bellow my rage at not having been here to protect her. I wanted to shake her and make her promise never to put me in this position again. And I knew now that I always expected it to be me laying in that bed hooked to machines. And I always refrained from relationships because I never wanted to put a woman I cared about in the position of sitting here praying for my life. How ironic that not only was it the other way around, but that it took Steph nearly dying for me to realize we already had a relationship and it was as real and as serious as it gets. And I knew in that moment she'd never be going back to Morelli. No matter what happened in the future, there was only one man up to the job of keeping her out of trouble and that was me. And, I reluctantly admitted to myself, I'm never going to allow another man to sleep beside her or hold her in their arms or make love to her. She had declared her love for me. Okay, maybe not directly to me, but I wasn't going to get tangled up in semantics. And one other thought was fighting to come to the surface. I finally gave up the fight and let it come. I was keeping her. There was no way in hell I was ever going to let her go again.

And then I found myself smiling, because for the first time I admitted the truth to myself. The reality of my revelation was staggering, and I knew right then and there that from the moment she'd walked into my life, I had never had any intention of letting her go.

I stood for a moment and looked at the floor as I let that scary and potentially life-changing truth echo through my mind and body.

I heard Steph start to move around, and I sat back down and reached for her hand.

"Tank?"

It finally occurred to me that Tank was the last person she had seen before she'd passed out. That must be why she kept calling for him.

"It's okay, Babe. I'm right here. You're going to be fine."

I watched as her forehead creased in a frown.

"You can't call me Babe. Only Ranger's allowed to call me Babe."

"Babe, it's me."

"Don't call me Babe, Tank. You're not allowed." Her voice had risen, and the machine started beeping a little faster. I realized then that she wasn't in any condition to make sense of my words.

"Shhh, it's okay, Steph. I won't call you Babe again."

"Please, Tank, don't tell Ranger I love him."

"Why, Steph? Why don't you want me to tell Ranger that you love him?" Okay, I knew it was a cheap shot questioning her in her condition, but I couldn't help myself.

I could see her struggling to concentrate. "He'll hate me."

That wasn't at all what I expected her to say. I was completely stunned and didn't know what to say.

"He'll hate me and he'll pull away from me and then I'll lose him. I don't want to lose Ranger. I love him so much."

Tears started to leak down the side of her face towards her pillow. I leaned over, gently brushed them away and whispered close to her ear, "I won't hate you, Babe, and you'll never lose me."

I saw her forehead start to crinkle again. I reached up and gently brushed her hair aside and placed a kiss there.

"Tank?"

"Yeah, Steph?"

"What am I going to do?' Her voice broke a little as tears continued to gently flow.

"You're going to relax and rest and let Ranger take care of you. Okay?"

Wondering what I'd ever done to deserve her, I pressed my forehead to hers "I'm right here, Babe, and I'm not leaving you."

"Tank?"

"Yeah."

"If you ever call me Babe again, I'll stun you."