Okay Dokay!!!... Well since I love you all so much I am posting another chapter!!! Geez!!!... Someone must have put something in my cereal… like bug legs!! ((haha inside joke with BellaJacobLove… never mind))... but seriously the things I do for you people… truly amaze me...
Disclaimer- 私は何でもしますそれを言う時、私は泣きます… Japanese!!…. it's a little more uh… loopyish??? Like curvy?? Or squiggly??... maybe not…
R+R! please… I get all warm and fuzzy inside when you do!oxxo
Onward! (to narnia)… again ignore that…
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Recap- I could have sworn I felt cold lips touch my forehead very briefly before he was right back in his seat staring out at the snowflakes. I didn't have time to push the blankets off of me in an attempt to show him I didn't want his aid before my eyelids closed and reality blurred as I drifted to where I was at the mercy of my dreams.
Edward's POV!
"Bella. Does he love you like I do? Can you really tell me that when he kisses you, you lose your breath from the ardor, like when we kissed? Can you tell me that you want him next to you every night when you sleep, where I was every night I could? Bella, does your heart race when he cradles you to his chest or when he holds you? Do you sit with him to just be with in his presence? To just stare into his eyes and know that the love you have for him is returned in every way?" I asked desperate for her to see the love we had shared. That we could share again if she wanted it, if she would accept it. "Bella? Do you truly love him the way you used to love me?" I spoke a little faster over the last sentence not sure if I really wanted to know her response.
I stared back and forth at her emotion filled eyes. The deep brown of her irises pulled me in, keeping me mesmerized until she turned her head. I thought for a moment she was going to answer. I could almost see the thoughts as she tried to sort through her feelings. I could see realization then pain, sadness then anger, desperation then depression. I wanted so badly to hold her, to cradle her to my hard chest and tell her how much I loved her. The tears that would usually be filling her eyes didn't appear. Not one tear.
I thought back to the time before when she didn't cry when I thought she usually would have been. I was telling her about my mistake. My loss of composure and the results of my actions. She hadn't cried. She just merely looked defeated. Then she had gotten to her feet and left me sitting on that couch that was now in the garbage, in shreds from my fury.
Thoughts of random people fluttered past my mind as a few cars passed ours. I was slightly aggravated by the speed we were going but took a deep breath and relaxed. Maybe she realized that our love can never be surpassed maybe she realizes that I love her more than anything and she loves me. Maybe that's why she isn't answering me. Wouldn't she just say yes, if she felt that way? Wouldn't she tell me that she loved him as much or possibly more than she loved me, if that was the truth? Maybe s- I stopped my thoughts from coming as she leaned farther away from me watching something out of the window.
She wouldn't lean away from me if she loved me like she used to. I sighed at this thought and leaned forward pinching the bridge of my nose, as a head ache pounded inside my sinuses. I didn't even know vampires could get head aches. I thought to myself as I squinted my eyes.
I heard another car pass us and the aggravation of how long it was taking got to me. "How much longer Gianna?" I asked hoping it was under an hour.
"Maybe another hour until we reach Fort St. John. After that probably 15 minutes or so," she said unemotionally from her position in the front seat. She was upset with me for bringing Bella against her will. Her thoughts almost screamed at me when I got in the car. She knew what it felt like to be rejected by someone you love but she didn't like the idea of forced love.
Bella moved her legs around her so that she was laying at a slant. Her motion stirred her delicious scent into the air and I inhaled deeply basking in the floral and sweet scent as it caressed my senses.
I could see the visible exhaustion she was fighting as she laid her head against her arm that was resting on the clouded widow. For a couple seconds she stayed still until she felt the cold creep into her skin. She tried to adjust for a minute trying to find a comfortable spot without making her arm cold. She eventually gave up and accepted the chill of the window.
Without a second thought I reached forward and grabbed the warm blanket and fresh shirt I had asked Gianna to bring. At my inhuman speed I gently rested the blanket over her pajama clad legs and slipped my shirt underneath her arm so that her skin wasn't directly on the cold glass.
I took a chance and as fast and tender as I could, kissed her forehead hoping she wouldn't reject my affection. I returned to my sitting position and pretended to look out of the window but was truly holding my breath waiting to see if she would throw the blankets back at me and tell me to never touch her again.
To my immense pleasure she did neither and within seconds the peaceful sound of her deep breathing filled my ears. I let out a long exhale and tucked the blanket underneath her legs pulling it over her shoulders. I watched her for a long while reveling in the memories of watching her beautiful face as peaceful as was possible as she slept when I laid by her side every night.
My body ached to hold her in my lap as she slept. I wished with every part of my being that she would let me. I wished she would love me again.
Tearless sobs wracked my body as I watched my perfect angel sleep. The very thought of her loving another could very well kill me. I felt pieces of my dead heart break when she told me she loved Quil. I told her once that if she loved someone else I would let her. I would allow her whatever made her happy.
I now knew that I had been lying to myself. Bella could never be with another. I wouldn't let her. I had kidnapped her for god's sake. She was right; I had done exactly what Jacob had tried to do; only I had succeeded. It was so easy so very easy. All I needed was the right timing.
I buried my face in my hands and pulled at my hair. I couldn't stop my incessant weeping thinking of my precious Bella being with someone other than me. The anger that had flooded my body when I had seen Bella and him on the beach left me when I had picked her up in my arms. Depression and fear were the only things left pulsing through me.
"Edward you can hold her now. She is sleeping too deeply to notice." Gianna said breaking me from my thoughts.
"Are you sure?" I asked shakily, she raised an eyebrow at me asking if I was seriously questioning her power. I didn't want to wake Bella and I didn't want her madder at me if she woke.
"I can sense her dreaming Edward," Gianna reminded me. It was her gift. She could merely sense dreams. A seemingly useless gift seeing as vampires can't sleep. That's why she was let out of the Volturi so easily.
I nodded at her, smiling gently when she looked at me through her rear view mirror. I looked down at Bella's angelic face and smiled noticing she was mumbling something incoherent. I scooted a little closer to her and reached my arms out. I noticed my arms were shaking as I tried to find the best way to pick her up.
I slowly rocked her body backwards as my hands slid underneath her torso and knees. She rolled over onto my arms and I cradled her head away from the window onto my shoulder. I lifted her as gently as I could and laid her in my lap carefully. She murmured something again and adjusted so that she was snuggled into my chest.
I leaned over and grabbed the blanket off of the floor and tucked it around her keeping the cold air away. I paused and was very still for a moment as I realized exactly what was happening.
Bella. My sweet Bella. Was here, in my arms. I wanted to jump with pure joy and cry in gratitude. I cradled her to my chest and rocked her back and forth gently. I nuzzled my nose into her hair filling my lungs with her sweet scent.
I held her to my chest reveling in the pure ecstasy that ran threw my body knowing she was snuggled to me. She rubbed her face up and down for a moment on my shirt, before settling again.
"I love you Bella," I whispered into her ear.
A glint of smile flashed on her face and the second I thought I couldn't get any happier she murmured the words that made me want to cry all over again this time from pure bliss. "I love you to," without my vampire hearing I would never have caught it, but with that enhanced sense I heard it clearly.
I hugged her to me and ran my fingers through her silky hair. When I looked back at her peaceful face a single tear ran down her face. I brushed it away and tried to think of some explanation to why she could be crying. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. I tilted my head to the side in confusion.
"Sorry for what Bella?" I prodded, knowing full well that she most likely wouldn't answer. "Bella, why are you sorry?"
Tears ran down her sleeping face as I rocked her back and forth in my arms trying to understand.
"Gianna?" I asked bewildered. "Is she still dreaming?"
Gianna was quiet in the driver's seat for a minute. "Yes," she said confusion written in her voice.
"Bella? Bella? What's wrong?" desperation for her to stop crying plagued my body. My dead heart clenched seeing her cry like this. I kissed her forehead and rested my cheek on her forehead. "I'm sorry Bella. I am the one who needs to apologize. I should never have done that to Jacob whether or not he tried to take you. I am so sorry. I love you so much Bella." I whispered to her hoping that wherever she was she could hear me. "My Bella."
Bella's POV
I was holding Quil's hand as we walked on the beach. He was whispering to me, and I nodded and laughed with him like there was not a care in the world. He lifted me gently into his arms and my white sundress flowed out beneath me as he twirled me around in the sand. I threw my head back and laughed. He ran into the water as a wave crashed onto the shore and I screamed playfully. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled at his beautiful face.
He beamed as I scrunched my nose at him and gave him an Eskimo kiss. The sun was shining brightly and I stretched my face up towards it letting it warm my skin like it used to when I lived in Phoenix.
When I looked back at Quil he was looking away from me staring at something on the other side of the beach. He slowly started stepping backwards and carried me with him. When he finally turned I saw Edward walking towards us in all his glory. He wore white shorts and a white loosely flowing shirt that framed his amazing body.
He smiled at me and I smiled back instinctively. When Quil stopped walking I looked up into his hazel eyes. They were staring down at me tear filled. "Quil what's wrong?" I asked urgently grabbing the sides of his face in my hands and using my thumbs to wipe away his tears.
"Go Bella," he said to me. I shook my head and hugged myself closer to him.
"Go where Quil?" I asked. He nodded at something in front of us. I looked over my shoulder and there was Edward with his arms outstretched smiling his gorgeous smile at me. "No!" I said desperately holding tighter to his chest.
He pried me off of him in one swift motion with tears in his eyes. He set me on my feet and turned me towards Edward gently nudging me forward. "No Quil! No!" I screamed not able to turn around.
"Go Bella! I love you," He said from behind me. Tears ran through his voice.
"No Quil please." My feet started moving without me moving them. I was unintentionally walking towards Edward, away from Quil.
Edward's arms were still outstretched as I walked to him. He was smiling waiting for me to jump into his arms. As soon as I was in arms reach he grabbed my hands, and as soon as he did his love washed over me. His love and my love clouded my mind.
I smiled back up at him and jumped into his arms willingly. He cradled my body and rocked me back and forth. "I love you Bella," he whispered into my ear.
I giggled lightly, "I love you to," as my reply fell out of my mouth I turned around so I was facing Quil again.
Tears were now streaming down his face. Pain slashed through my heart. I felt a single tear drip down my cheek and faster than it reached my chin Edward's gentle finger tips wiped it away.
Quil reached his arms out to me and I reached my arm that wasn't in Edward's grasp towards him. He didn't step forward but he cried my name softly begging me to come with him, to stay with him. I pushed out of Edward's arms and stepped towards Quil.
One of his hands reached toward me, his fingers outstretched, like he wished they were long enough to cross the distance between us.
"I love you Bella," Quil said through his tears. My own tears were now streaming down my face in waves.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I love you to," With that Quil took two long strides forward.
"Let her go." Quil snarled, furious. "She wants to!" Edward pushed me behind himself, wheeling to face Quil.
I almost collapsed as I realized what was happening, this was the exact same scene that occurred with Jacob. When I stepped around Edward it was Jacob that I saw. He was reaching out to me tears in his eyes. The forest around Forks surrounded us.
"I love you Bella," was the last thing he said before I opened my eyes almost blinded by the sunlight in the room. Edward was shaking me calling my name.
I clawed at him for taking Jacob away; I fought him for taking Quil away. I hated him. I hated Edward Cullen, but knew I loved him to.
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HA! Two chapters in one day!!!... I am truly amazing!!…
I hope you liked it!!!... Thank you to everyone who reviews!... I love you all!...
xoxoxo