Not even a Tear Chapter 21: Not Expected, a twilight fanfic

HELOO!!!... I am back!... I have thought of a lot I want to do with this story before it ends but I am trying to keep it under 30 chapters…

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Recap- "I love you Bella," was the last thing he said before I opened my eyes almost blinded by the sunlight in the room. Edward was shaking me calling my name.

I clawed at him for taking Jacob away; I fought him for taking Quil away. I hated him. I hated Edward Cullen, but knew I loved him to.

BPOV

I sat on the over fluffed reading chair that I had dragged over to the hazy window. A heavy wool blanket covered my bare legs and arms; I had it wrapped tightly around myself only allowing a small gap where my hands were out, holding a hot cup of hazel tea. I had opened the castle-like stained glass opening and was breathing in the chilled morning air.

Snow covered every inch of the ground three stories below me, creating a sparkling layer of white for miles. Only the occasional pine tree interrupted the cloud on which this castle lay undisturbed and peaceful. A frozen lake reflected sunlight through my window from a few feet away from the castle walls, casting rainbows of color onto the surrounding landscape.

Warm burgundy velvet enveloped every cloth covered surface in my captive room. The walls were a shining gold striped lightly with a deep ruby red. The floor was worn hard wood decorated with a dull gold rug that was possibly the softest fur I had ever laid hands on. The king canopy bed lining the farthest wall was clad with Egyptian silk sheets and layers of the velvet comforter. A book shelf lined with old books of Shakespeare and miscellaneous poems was in the next room surrounded with the maroon chairs like the one I was sitting on. The cherry wood that encased my bed, reading chairs, dresser, doors, and book shelf was adorned with carvings of exotic flowers and gold leaf that matched a tapestry that hung on the reading room's wall.

From what I have been able to see in the rest of the castle, the same theme of elegance and expense was present in every room. The hall in which my room was, consisted of twelve bedrooms, six on each side, and a great room where animal pelt couches, chairs, and rugs covered every surface. The floor below me had all of the basic rooms in a usual house except much larger and grander. The lowest floor was of some mystery it has maid's quarters that were empty as of now, but that was all I knew of, something worth exploring, if I was ever let out of sight.

Fort St. John was the closest town, diminutive in size both physically and population wise. For a normal person it was around twenty minutes away; fifteen with Gianna's driving, seven with Edward's. Since I woke up that first day I have been allowed out of the castle once. That was under intense vampire super vision. They think I will run away, or run back to Quil, and they are smart to think that because if they weren't holding me back I would.

I smirked as I thought this and took another sip of the warm liquid and let it smooth my throat spreading its warmth through my chest. The hazel fragrance wafted through the air around my face mingling with the coldness that blew in from the window. The sun rose from the on the other side of the castle and created amazing shadows on the ground outside of my window.

"You smell utterly delicious, when your scent is mixed with hazelnut." Edward's voice shook me from my daydreams, bringing me back to the harsh reality of what my world was.

I chuckled once clearly not amused as he made his way over to where I sat. His large hand rested on the top of my chair as he leaned against wall to my side. "Beautiful, isn't it?" he asked hopefully referring to the amazing scenery outside.

I murmured a quiet "mmhmm," sarcastically trying to get across that I much rather not be here, and took another sip of the tea.

His musical laugh rang in my ears at my response. "I thought you would like it. That's why I bought this you know? I only picked fabrics and furniture for the other rooms. But, this room," he stepped to my side motioning to the paradise around me, "this room I picked out everything specifically. I wanted it to be perfect for you." I grunted at his statement and turned back to the window.

"Do you not like it?" his voice was almost panicked as if he did indeed pick everything out hoping I would love it and I had just told him I hated it.

My expression softened some as well as my emotions and I felt a tiny bit of guilt for shooting down his attempts at being decent. "I like it. Thank you." I said a very small amount of emotion in the sentences.

I could almost hear the smile that broke out onto his face. "I hoped you would." I saw him kneel down next to my chair as he took the warm mug from my hands gently. I was going to protest and tell him that I was still drinking that but he interrupted. "I want you to be happy here Bella. I love you. I want you to be with me and smile and laugh like you used to. "He took my small hands in his. "Please." His eyes didn't smolder but I could almost feel the preference he pushed on me.

My heart clenched and tears stung the back of my eyes. I wanted so badly to be in his arms his protective arms that cradled me so many times. But memories held me back. Memories of Jacob's smile, his tortured face that day in the forest, his warmth. Memories of Quil. My love for Quil. So many things stopped me from being with Edward. Stopped me from being with who was standing in front of me, asking me, pleading me to come back to him.

I turned my head away so I didn't have to look at his angelic face, his depthless eyes, and his love. He sighed and stood up beside me brushing my cheek with his fingers. "I will wait for you Bella, I love you." I smiled gently and curled my legs farther underneath me leaning into the plush chair. In my mind realizations flitted through breaking my heart slowly. I could never be with Edward again. I could never forgive him for what he did, for everything he has done. He would wait forever.

"Do you want me to close the window Bell? It is getting really cold outside I think it might snow." I glanced up out to he sky, the once blue and sunny sky was clouded over, reminding me of my dismal mood.

"No thanks," I whispered knowing he would hear me, not removing my eyes from the dark clouds.

"Alright." Edward said and I listened as he walked very quietly out of my room.

As soon as I heard the door click a single tear ran down my face sadness clutched at my heart disparity clouded my mind as I tried to think of anything I could do to just return how things were before. I searched for my answers and watched as snow began to flitter down from the sky and settled in another layer on the ground.

EPOV

"Do you want me to close the window Bell? It is getting really cold outside I think it might snow." I tried everything I could to make her understand how much she meant to me. How much I still loved her and how much I would always love her. Maybe eventually just doing little things would make her see.

I watched as her brunette waves spread around her shoulders, her small form was curled underneath a wool blanket I had brought from my room to hers last night.

It had been an extremely cold night. Cold enough to where I myself had to wear my warmest sweatpants and turtle neck. I thought about my angel sleeping in her room one floor below me. Imagining her shivering underneath her warm blankets that lay over her bed had made me upset enough that I had had found the warmest blanket in my room and bounded down the grand staircase and down to her room.

I laid the blanket over her as gently as I could and watched for a minute as her chest rose and fell beneath layers of bedspreads. As carefully as I could I climbed in next to her. The covers around her were warm with her body heat and I relished in the amazing feeling of the heat as it seeped into my cold skin.

Bella rolled over and I thought I had woken her until she sighed and mumbled something even with enhanced hearing I couldn't understand. I smiled and gently wrapped my arms around her sleeping form. I would give anything to have her do this willingly, for her to be awake and fall asleep in my arms.

I saw the night sky brightening slightly, signaling the arrival of the sun. I quietly and carefully slid from Bella's side and sighed again wishing she would smile like she used to waking up to being in my arms. I kissed her forehead and tucked the blankets a little tighter around her. I watched her for a minute more studying the blush on her cheeks and every aspect of her angelic face.

I finally left and ran down to the kitchen to heat some hot chocolate for her. I left it on her bedside table yesterday and got to see her actually smile at me when she thanked me for it. I almost swam in bliss at her brief show of happiness.

I was heating the water and smelled something delicious when I opened the fridge that was stocked with groceries Gianna had bought. I searched for the source of the scent and found it in a small box of tea flavor. Hazelnut, it read on the side of the box.

I found myself wondering what Bella's amazing scent would smell like mixed with the new delicious one that resonated inside the ox I held in my hand. Curiosity got the best of me and instead of the chocolate powder I mixed the tea flavor into the steaming water.

Her sweet voice brought me back to reality. "No thanks," I felt slightly disappointed that she wouldn't let me do the small gesture for her, but passed it off.

"Alright," I replied and removed myself from her room unwillingly. When the door had closed I felt a sob choke through my chest. I slid down the wall next to her door and wallowed in the misery that knowing she didn't love me, brought upon my dead heart.

I had tried twice to get her to listen to me about what Jacob had done. He had tried to take her from me. But she wouldn't hear it. Both times she just got angry probably thinking that I was making it up as an excuse. I just wish she would tell me what she is thinking. Every time I tell her I love her, I can almost see the confusion and denial in her eyes. It pains me to not hear her thoughts at those times, it hurts to see her go trough whatever it is she was.

Another sob broke through my chest. I picked myself up slightly and dragged myself towards the stairs.

"Edward?" my angel's voice echoed down the hall. She sounded scared. I took a shaky breath and turned around.

"Yes Bella?" She was now standing outside of her door; the wool blanket was still clutched around her. When she saw my distressed state the blanket fell to the floor and she tried to run over to me. My heart elated knowing that she wanted to comfort me, but my moment was caught short when I saw her trip over the hall rug and I ran over as fast as I could and caught her right before she hit the floor.

"Are you okay?" I asked sitting on the floor and placing her in my lap checking her over. I didn't occur to me that I was actually holding my Bella in my lap until I looked up to her face and discomfort was written all over her face. I picked her up and placed her on the floor next to me. "Sorry,"

"t's okay," she mumbled. It's funny how any sound of her voice made my heart soar. Listening to the melodical sound would please me for days. An awkward silence passed over us for a minute. "Um, I heard someone crying, are you- uh, okay?" she stumbled over her words a little.

I was embarrassed that she had heard me, that wasn't meant to happen, I was at that moment very grateful I couldn't blush. "I'm fine, thank you." I said matter of factly. I kept my eyes on the floor cursing myself for not returning to my room before I broke down.

"Are you sure? Ho come you were crying?" I knew the answer to that one.

"Because I love you with everything I have, you own my heart Bella," I paused for a second studying her face. The expression that meant she was thinking very hard covered her face. Her eyebrows were knit together and her beautiful brown eyes showed untainted uncertainty. "And you don't love me," My unneeded breath hitched in my chest. Knowing it and saying it were two different things, I could feel sobs trying to break through, to take over my body and lead me into another wave of misery.

"Edward, I do lo-," I could feel the ghost of my heart beating uncontrollably I wanted so badly for her to continue that sentence. I could see her editing what she was about to say. The indescribable need to hear her thoughts plagued me again. "Edward, I love you, I do," The next couple words were lost to me because of the loud thump of my dormant heart. My body wanted to jump and skip and scream in amazing happiness. I remembered she was still talking and started listening again. "I can forgive all of that. I do love you though never doubt that."

Faster than I thought I would ever be able to move her lips slammed against mine, the scent that emanated from her made my body want to scream in ecstasy. For a second Bella didn't move, her shock was almost tangible. But after that her body melted against mine returning the kiss which just as much love. God how I had missed her.

BPOV

"But I can't forget what you did; you took me from Quil and killed Jacob. I don't know if I can forgive all of that. I do love you though never doubt that."

I finished my sentence and faster than I could imagine I felt cold hard lips on mine. I could not move for a moment as the shock of what was occurring spiraled through me.

I felt my mind numb from his scent and my body conformed to his every curve. This is heaven. How could I let this go?

I hope you liked it… not too much happened… but it was still okay right?...

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