Disclaimer – I don't own them, I just borrowed them. Numb3rs and its characters are the property of those that created them. No copyright infringement intended. All real organisations are used in a fictional sense. Original characters and the storyline are mine however.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

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Don knocked deferentially on the door to Merrick's office. He entered at the invitation of the man inside, Deputy Assistant Director Ryder. Ryder had taken over Merrick's office not long after his arrival.

"Boss." Don said in greeting as he closed the door behind him.

"Ah, Special Agent Eppes." Ryder said looking up from his laptop screen and recognising his guest. He appeared a little confused as he had not been expecting him. "You had a near miss before."

"Yes boss."

"Please sit. I thought DHS had you confined to your floor?"

"I told them I wanted to see you."

"Where is your guardian?"

"Agent Wachowski is waiting outside." Don answered. "I guess he felt unwelcome."

Don watched as Ryder accepted the explanation. This was after all a meeting of a very senior FBI agent with a much lower ranking agent. The fact that the lower ranking agent was under a very dark cloud could make the tone of the meeting somewhat poor. As Don was unarmed there was also little chance that he could cause any trouble that Ryder couldn't handle for the second or so it would take Wachowski to get into the room. It would be reasonable that a junior DHS agent might feel that discretion was called for.

"So, what can I do for you Eppes?"

"We have some things to discuss." Don started.

Ryder frowned at the tone as he closed his laptop. "Yes?"

Don put the folder on the desk in front of Ryder.

Ryder pulled the folder over, opening it. He started reading the first page before rapidly flicking through the other pages noting the highlighted sections. "I see. Who else have you told?"

"Who could I tell? You have the remote for the bombs. I might know who you are but it gets me nowhere."

"Yes. Don't you have someplace to be?"

It was just after nine o'clock now and Ryder would know Telford's demand even if the JTTF had not passed it on. "The JTTF are still arguing the point. They seem to feel that I will be shot at again."

"So why have you come to me?"

"I want to know why. I know you'll overrule the JTTF and will send me out. Zuheen won't miss a second time. I want to know why you are doing this before I die."

Ryder dropped the folder carelessly back onto the desk. He knew its contents were worthless as they wouldn't be used, he would make certain of that. He sat back considering. The time had come. Finally he looked across the desk at his accuser. "You want to know why? Are you truly happy in your work, Eppes?"

"What?"

"How do you feel when some of them get away? When you have got them dead to rights and some jury lets them off or the DA cuts a deal and they walk away with a new name?"

"I don't like it." Don admitted. "But that's the way it works sometimes. There's nothing that I can do about it."

"There is always something that can be done. You just have to decide to do it. I just go the next step and finish the job that the courts won't. I was sick of seeing criminals get away with their crimes. Free to commit more crimes with the blessing of the DA."

"What about the agents? I don't understand you ordering the execution of fellow FBI agents."

"Traitors. They got what traitors deserve. Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity." Ryder didn't seem to see the irony in stating the FBI's motto. "They didn't live up to that standard. They don't deserve your sympathy. To have shamed the FBI, to have shamed decent hard working law enforcement officers such as you and I was beyond the pale. Execution was the only answer."

"The Ride of the Valkyries." Don mused. "Is that how you see yourself? But instead of choosing those from among the slain to go to Valhalla you chose who is to live or die?"

"Ah, I had been wondering. That's how you tracked me down." Ryder had his own unasked question answered.

Don moved on. "What about Zuheen? You've committed a terrorist act to catch a terrorist. You are just as bad as he is."

"This was never in my plans. It's all gotten out of hand. I feel I have lost control over my man, if I ever really had it."

Don was surprised at the shift, at Ryder trying to place the blame onto his subordinate. So much for 'fidelity', even if he had expected Ryder to show it to a fellow criminal. "If you had never had control over Telford I would not be here. He wanted to kill me after he executed Hendrik."

Don saw Ryder's eyes narrow momentarily then relax, he would have missed the 'tell' if he hadn't been looking for it. Ryder seemed to believe that Don had not identified the man who did his wet work. Ryder continued, "I believe my control was limited. Telford acted rashly, insisting on that operation despite having no information on the agent guarding the subject. At least he rang me first and listened when I ordered your release. He still had respect for me and my wishes. I fear it was a close run thing the second time you encountered him."

"Oh?" Don had wondered what had happened after Telford had knocked him out. He had truly been surprised to have woken up alive.

"I never told him that I had noticed, but as I met him at your car that night he had been about to draw his weapon. I think to finish you. He'd argued with me on that point earlier but I had insisted on you being given an explanation and a warning. You were only to be harmed if he had to defend himself." Ryder explained.

"Why was my safety so important?" Don wanted to know. "It would have made more sense for you to have had me killed back in the hotel room along with the informant."

"It would have made sense, yes. But we are not murderers." Ryder said. His calm and matter of fact explanation thus far showed that he believed in the righteousness of his actions. He obviously did not consider anything that they had done to be wrong. "I had seen some of your work before that day and knew you were a good man, some quick checking after his call confirmed my impression. I could not order Telford to kill you when I realised that you were one of us."

"I'm not one of you!" Don couldn't help protesting indignantly. For Ryder to think that he was like them was an insult. He calmed himself and thought it through. "You could order Telford to kill his own men though, and they were well and truly on your side."

"They were hired hands. Mercenaries. Not believers."

"I'm not a believer."

"Eppes, whether you realise it or not, you hold the same values as I do. Your work shows that. You don't take bribes or back off from the difficult jobs. You get the job done properly, and for the most part successfully, following the rule of law. But you would have taken the next step, sooner or later." Ryder looked at him with a thoughtful expression on his face before he continued. "I suspect you came close when your agent was kidnapped."

Don shook his head, forcing himself to stay cool. Despite his access to his files, agreeing with Merrick when the complaint from Buck Winters was written off, Ryder couldn't really know how close Don had been to going over the edge. He'd teetered but not fallen, not quite. He'd got Megan back before he'd fallen. Don regretted his actions but knew he would do the same thing if given the time over. He pushed the thoughts away, this was about Ryder not him.

"Is that why you put me in this position, you thought I would willingly work for you?"

"Willingly? No, I knew you weren't quite ready yet. This was a hasty operation, we couldn't lay much groundwork to help convince everyone it really was Zuheen."

"You had all the information from Homeland Security, his movements, his attack on the chemical convoy." Don protested. "You knew he was in California. There was no need to drag me into this."

"We needed someone to see the bombs, to know they were for real. We needed someone who we could easily convince of our sincerity and who could emphatically insist Zuheen was the bomber. We needed a target to bring Zuheen out of hiding." Ryder explained. "You fitted those criteria. Your history with Telford made it easy for him to control you."

Don shook his head in disgust, 'fidelity' he thought to himself. Ryder claimed to think that Don was of his kind, a vigilante in waiting, but was still willing to throw him to the wolves as bait, would soon send him back out to his death. He had to bring this discussion back on track.

"You said that you've lost control of Telford. He followed your instructions in New York, killing Agent Gerhardt and the man she was guarding. He followed your instructions here, setting those bombs in the mall to force this whole incident."

"New York? Yes, that was my operation." Ryder confirmed. His tone of voice changed. "But the mall? He came across the intel regarding Zuheen before he executed Gerhardt. He wanted to act on it, insisted that we had no other option, that we had to respond to such important information. It was our duty. I fear he swayed me."

"This whole thing was his plan? Not yours?" Don said in disbelief. Everything Ryder had said up til now had put him firmly in control. "In the office, back at the start of this you were in charge, not him."

"No, Eppes. I was going along with it." Ryder said sadly. "I realise now it was all a fiction. He convinced me to approve this operation. I just thought I was in command."

Warning bells started to go off. Don had decided that the other man was mentally ill, he had to be otherwise he wouldn't be calmly explaining his capitol crimes like this. Wouldn't be showing utter conviction that his actions had been justified. But something was changing, the confession up to this point had been matter-of-fact but now Ryder was becoming somewhat morose, fatalistic even. He seemed to be drifting, becoming less connected to the real world. Something wasn't right.

Ryder continued slowly as if deep in thought. "I think now that was all over eight months ago. I ordered Telford to ensure your safety, but that meant he had to kill the men he'd used on the operation. He did it but I think it ate away at him, destroying his conviction. He followed me without question when I first found him. Now he wants to lead me, has led me down this wrong path. I've lost him. I feel I am alone now. Not even you understand what I have done. Or what I must do."

Don leapt up, flinging himself across the table. The other man had produced a small semi-automatic pistol. Don had been expecting Ryder to be armed, had expected the gun to be turned on him when it was produced but was instead shocked to see the senior agent raise the weapon to his own head. He was going to commit suicide. Don could not allow that, couldn't allow Ryder to take the easy way out. He had to answer for his crimes.

Unexpectedly Ryder dodged, rolling his chair sideways causing Don to land awkwardly, sprawling on the floor. He started to get his feet under him but Ryder was already there, the gun now pressing firmly and steadily against Don's forehead.

"I really should have listened to Telford."

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A/N: Oh, boy! A cliff hanger and no more until tomorrow. Nasty ALEO.