Fan Fiction: "Dating for Dummies"
A/N: I made a decision and I've decided to add more couples! (Sasuke- You dobe, you already made that decision long time ago.) ANYWHO…the couples will be: Sasuke/Sakura, Naruto/Hinata, Neji/Tenten, Shikamaru? Not sure about this one…a lot of people like the Shika/Temari pairing then there's the Shika/Ino pairing…Oh and maybe more…still thinking…
A/N: I'm such a…IDIOT! (Bangs head off wall) GAH! I'm sorry Saiyanfanatics…I feel bad now…Hmmm…I know! I'll dedicate a chapter for you guys! Not this one though…I think you'll like Shikamaru's chapter better for a dedication…I think…
A/N: (Sigh) I'm sorry…again…just got a flame saying how similar my story is to another…I'm not mad, just overly depressed. Would it make you guys better if I just took my story off, period? I really don't want to…personally this is the first fanfic I ever done that got me over 30 reviews in one chapter. I was really happy but if this story is too…troublesome I would willingly remove it. Just give me your thoughts.
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto…I would have so much Sasu/Saku in it, it will make any other Sasu or Saku/other pairing replay One Thousand Years of Death Jutsu over and over again.
Tip 3: Uzumaki Naruto
Uzumaki, Naruto:
Konoha's most hyper-active, knuckle-head ninja, seventeen years of age (though acts like a five year old…), is believed to have serious mental damage caused by constant fists in the head…
"Kakashi-sensei…shouldn't you like be in bed?"
Is, in simple terms, a loud-mouthed idiot, and has a secret ramen fetish (I suggest, Hinata-chan, you go to the cosplay shop sometime soon…wink, wink)
"What the hell…!"
Also…he has a stuffed bunny by the name of Mr. Tinkles who looks oddly like Sakura and practices smooches with it…
"I SWEAR Sasuke-teme, he's LYING!"
"Too. Late."
Oh my…
Rule Number 3 in Kakashi's book of por-erm dating advice:
Denial of the truth…all you need is a little PUSH!
Naruto rubbed his head absent-mindedly as he walked down his usual meet-Team-7-path. The rain had stopped; hallelujah…Personally Naruto would rather be away from his currently-out-of-order teammates. After the "period incident" as Kakashi liked to put it. And everyone thought he was strange…He had a freaking fox in him! And that meant a lot…
The bright sunlight gleamed through the leaves sending patches of light and fluorescent green on the pathway. No doubt they wouldn't have training today. Because of said sensei got beaten to a sorry icky pulpy mess. Eww…
Crack.
Uzumaki Naruto…died from an accidental freak heart attack…so much for being a ninja.
A pink-haired kunoichi tapped her fingers on the bridge railing. She was bored…B. O. R. E. D.
"Would you stop that?" Sakura's head spun over to her left. A certain dark-haired Uchiha leaned coolly on the rail. His eyes were closed as if shutting the world off.
Sakura blushed crimson and mumbled a soft sorry. 'Sasuke-kun is cold again…' To tell you the truth, these past two days Sakura felt the happiest in a long while. Well…scratch a certain silver-haired sensei being EXTRA perverted and everyone avoiding them…you get the idea!
Forty-eight hours this whole strange fiasco started, it made our dear kunoichi wonder…was Sasuke finally opening up to them? Sakura really couldn't blame him for hating them for an eternity…he did get beaten up and literally dragged back from Point A to Point B. Far…far…FAR away…
What to do…what to do…?
Start a conversation and slowly spring up the question?
Sakura shook her head furiously, they called Sasuke the number one rookie of their class for a reason you know.
Attack unsuspecting Sasuke with newly acquired and specially honed strength and force him to answer…?
Now that idea would probably inflict "accidental" death to Sasuke or… (Gulp) suicide for Sakura. Oh the pain…
Truth serum…?
Hell. No.
Just ask the question?
HA HA HA HA! You're FUNNY…oh…you weren't joking…
Sakura scowled, she JUST wanted to ask ONE little question…ok maybe not so little.
"You know, Sakura, when you keep mumbling to yourself people will think you're a bit mental."
Click.
The little black box in the deepest ridges of Sakura's mind snapped open. A small squeaky laugh erupted from the dark box…
Hello Inner Sakura!
Goodbye Uchiha Sasuke…
Hinata panicked slightly.
No…that's not right…
More like outright having a panic attack complete with sweat bullets and incoherent curses and mumbles.
Hinata wrung her hands out and kneeled beside a certain unconscious blond form.
She just wanted to get carrots. Yeah, you heard me, C-A-R-R-O-T-S! Neji-kun always did say carrots were good for the eyesight…And on her merry little way back home with her eye-enhancers-I mean carrots she found a kunai embedded in a tree. On that said tree were a huge heart and two names.
Sasuke and Sakura FOREVER! With kisses and huggies, too!
Hinata placed her bag ON the ROAD within her line of eyesight to inspect the (cough) obvious sign.
'This is definitely not Sakura's handwriting…' the young Hyuga may not be professional copiers like Kakashi-sensei or Sasuke but she could tell the difference.
GASP!
Could it be…?
This was SASUKE'S doing?
To be honest, Hinata never really saw the Uchiha heir's handwriting. It was logical…who else would write something like that on a poor defenseless tree. Indeed, Hinata was an environmentalist all the way. To think someone had purposefully defaced a home of several furry creatures. For instance, squirrels. They were so fluffy and nice and cute and just so…fluffy! Despite their common stupidity with well-cleaned windows and glass doors…HEY! You would do the same if there was a steaming pecan pie with your furry little name on it only to be smashed into a glass door.
Hinata twirled around sensing her curiosity will have to wait and a freshly cleaned carrot was waiting to be devoured in her nice home. That would have been nice if…HER carrots weren't MISSING!
Missing with a capital M!
Up, down, right, left! Where oh where were Hinata's carrots! A shrill squeak caught the opal-eyed heiress. A squirrel…a flipping fuzzy-tailed, brown eyes, bucktooth squirrel STOLE her carrots.
Oh…my…god…
"Mr. Squirrel c-can I h-have m-my c-carrots back…p-please…?"
Squeak.
Hinata took that as a no.
"P-please…?"
Clunk.
Hinata blinked. The devil fluff threw an acorn at her. An ACORN…
5, 4, 3, 2, 1…SCREW the trees! That squirrel is GOING DOWN! Determined and fueled with unknown hatred to squirrels, Hinata gripped the kunai in her right.
Mr. Squirrel I got a present for you…
Meanwhile…Gai's team packs up for a trip to the mountains…
"My squirrel senses are tingling!" Lee twirled his bowl-cut head around.
"Um…Lee?"
Lee suddenly leaped in front of his female teammate, "Yes, Tenten! Does the youthful sound of youth call to you!"
"First off Lee, six feet away at all times," Lee took a long stride back, "thank you, and next you don't LIKE squirrels."
Blink.
"HA! Tenten, my youthful female companion that is where you are wrong! I do not hate squirrels; squirrels pave the way to the dream of eternal youthfulness!"
Blink.
Blink.
"Squirrels?"
Lee nodded his head furiously but before he could speak another "youthful" word a hand clamped over his mouth.
"Lee, get ready and stop talking." Neji let his equally opal gaze to set on Tenten.
"And I don't see you finished either." Tenten blushed softly and rolled her eyes.
"We shouldn't even be in the story yet."
"My youthful students! Are we ready to start our sunshine-filled journey to deepest realms of the youth?" Gai smiled making is teeth go ping!
"We're just going to the mountains behind Hokage Mountain."
Gasp.
"My squirrel senses are tingling! Lee, my youthful student, do you feel that!"
Oh god.
Back to Sasuke and Sakura…
"Sakura! Be reasonable here! AGH!" Sasuke dodged a fist just barely...But enough to send him spiraling backwards into a tree by the momentum of a certain raving kunoichi's chakra-filled fist.
Sakura gave him a sickeningly sweet smile and raised her fist, "Now who's being mental now, Sa-su-ke-kun?"
Sasuke clawed the ground sharply, to think he used to like her…
Ha! You admit it! (Inner Sasuke speaking)
'Who the…WHO are YOU!'
How stupid are you. I'm the little voice in your sick mind who speaks your true feelings!
'What feelings do you speak of? I HAVE no feelings.'
Right. Now back to the issue-
'You don't believe me!'
Let me think…no.
'…damn you…'
Want proof?
'That would be nice…dobe.'
That was mean…ok proof, you want proof! Remember the Christmas party when fuzzy-brows tried to kiss Sakura…?
'Maybe…'
Remember when his arm was reaching over…his hands on her shoulder, lips puckered up ready to-
'NOOO!'
I see I've proved my point…
'…'
Speechless, I know…I'm THAT good.
'…dobe…'
I love you too.
'Shut the hell up!'
…
'Speechless now are we.'
I suggest you duck.
'Wha…' Sasuke blinked. Oh my…
POW!
Blue eyes blinked slowly meeting milky white. "HINATA!"
Glomp.
Blush times a zillion! "N-nice to s-see y-you t-too, N-Naruto-kun…"
Naruto let Hinata go and blushed softly, "Wow! I had the weirdest dream, Hinata-chan!"
Blink.
"You were in it! And…" Naruto stopped suddenly and scratched his head.
Hinata tilted her head. "Well what do you know…I kinda…forgot…?" Naruto gave a nervous laugh.
Hinata sighed, "Oh Naruto…"
"Well…I better be going. Kakashi-sensei must be waiting for me, future Hokage, to arrive! Hinata…why are you staring at me?"
Hinata gaped and started to poke her forehead hastily. Naruto touched his forehead…no forehead protector…
A hint of silver peeked behind a tattered plastic bag. "AH! There it is!"
A weight clutched his arm. "Your forehead…N-Naruto-kun…i-it g-got something w-written on i-it…"
"Eh?"
Hinata boldly grasped his orange-clad arm and led him to a puddle.
Naruto warily peered in the murky depths…
Dun.
Dun.
DUN!
Naruto lurves Hinata-chan FOREVER! Long live Naru/Hina!
"OMIGOD!"
"Kakashi-san, you loser, you spelled love wrong!" Kurenai glared at the snickering jounin to her left.
"It'll take him WEEKS to get that pen off!" Kakashi almost toppled off the roof laughing his behind off.
Kurenai shook her head, "You're hopeless…"
"Long live Icha Icha Paradise!"
"Like I said…hopeless…"
Kurenai gazed down to notice the two ninjas watching them, "Um…Kakashi-san…"
"Yes, my partner in crime."
Kurenai sweat-dropped, "As much as this position sounds…erm-compromising…I just realized I got…ninja…stuff to um do…now."
Kakashi blinked.
"Um…well…See you at the hospital!"
Crack.
"Ka-ka-shi-sen-sei…"
Poor, poor Kakashi…thought he wouldn't get hurt…stupid.
Operation NaruHina operational!
Day 3 finished.
A/N: This may be the most random thing I ever written in like…EVER! Don't worry I'll have romance by next chapter...so...Read and Review!
My squirrel senses are saying you want to review…