Leliha
Chapter Fifteen: Revelations
Alexandra arrived late in the afternoon, the portkey landing her in front of the cottage. Severus was nowhere to be seen, which was not unusual as he often couldn't leave his work unattended at the moment of her arrival. So Alexandra at once went into the former stable that served as his laboratory now and found him bent over several simmering cauldrons.
"Severus!"
He straightened up and looked around.
"Alexandra."
He didn't sound overly pleased to see her. There was an embarrassed silence. Was he still angry that she had not been able to come? Why did he look at her in such a peculiar way? He had tied his hair back for working over the hissing and bubbling potions, thus allowing a clear view of his features. Alexandra looked at him more closely. Was it a trick of the light or did he look thinner and more careworn than at her last stay?
"I'm back," she announced with deliberate cheerfulness.
"I can see that," he replied dryly without moving an inch.
Her smile faltered. What was wrong? Although he had never managed to overcome his reluctance to display his affection over-enthusiastically, he always greeted her more warmly than that, usually it was a brief hug and a shy kiss.
Slowly she rounded two cauldrons filled with a lazily bubbling creamy liquid to get closer to him.
"Severus, I…"
"This is going to take about half an hour," he interrupted her curtly, pointing at the cauldrons. "You'd best wait outside."
This was clearly an order and not a polite request.
"Oh – oh yes, right. See you then."
She turned and left the building, utterly bewildered. Why had he thrown her out? She had stayed with him and watched his work before. Why was he in such a bad mood? What had happened? Had she done anything wrong?
Hurt and confused she picked up her bag and went over to the bench to wait for him. Dark clouds had appeared over the trees in the western sky, moving quickly, obscuring the sun and the blue sky. There was going to be a thunderstorm soon. Alexandra tried the front door of the cottage. Locked. Great, so she could only hope for Severus to come out of his lair before the downpour would start.
He emerged from the lab rather less than thirty minutes later, carefully locking the door behind him.
The sky was now completely dark, faint rolls of thunder could be heard in the distance.
She got up when he approached the bench. He stopped in front of her, his face hard and unreadable. They remained standing, watching each other.
"Why don't you get it over and done with and leave;" he demanded harshly.
"Excuse me?"
"You wanted to talk things over. What are you waiting for? Go ahead. The sooner we get it done with, the sooner you can go back."
"Severus, what are you talking about?"
Another roll of thunder, louder this time and closer to them.
"Your letters…"
"Yes?"
"You wrote that we would have to talk…"
"Yes?"
"What you described as 'family matters'…"
The wind freshened, tearing at his shirt, making it billow.
"Were exactly that – my father died."
"Oh."
Thunder, lightning, strong gusts of wind sending sand and small leaves swirling in the air.
He swallowed hard, opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, lifted his hands in a helpless, pathetic gesture of despair. He looked completely taken aback, devastated, shocked…
"What did you think it was, Severus?" she asked carefully, a vague suspicion slowly dawning on her. All these hints about leaving… Had he really thought she wanted to dump him? But why?
More thunder and lightning, somewhere at the back of the cottage a loose shutter banged against the wall.
He studied his feet. He always wore a pair of ancient, well-worn, sturdy boots for working at the cauldrons. The original colour had turned into a stained greyish hue, the laces were long gone.
"I thought…", he bit his lip, "I thought you had met someone else."
"You – what?" Speechless with disbelief she glared at him in exasperation.
Thunder, lightning and first thick, slow drops of rain. Neither of them heeded the weather.
"What on earth gave you this idea?"
Still without meeting her eyes, he shrugged and shook his head helplessly, then covered his face with his hand. She registered the rapid rise and fall of his chest. He was absolutely shattered. Her anger evaporated. He looked so miserable, shoulders hunched, wet from the rain, windswept and with absolutely no idea of how to get out of this mess created once again by his low self-esteem and blasted insecurity concerning human relations. The situation was so absurd that she felt the strong desire to laugh. But this certainly wouldn't do.
Carefully controlling herself she started an attempt to put things right.
"The opposite is true, Severus. My father left me some money, I can give up my regular job and work freelance. Then I don't have to live in London and if…"
A deafening roll of thunder made them jump. The rainfall increased, soaking them.
He still didn't heed the rain, remained rooted to the spot, but he had raised his head and stared at her.
"Come."
Suddenly he grabbed her hand and made for the door, pulling her with him. She barely had enough time to pick up her bag. Inside the cottage it was dark and strangely silent after the raging storm outside. Alexandra smoothed back her wet hair and shivered. They were both thoroughly wet now, however, he didn't seem to notice this discomfort, but took her hand and guided it towards the wall next to the door jamb. She could feel something smooth and rectangular under her fingers - a light switch? Without thinking she pressed it and a lamp in the kitchen area came on. It took her some seconds to understand the meaning of this everyday action. Electricity.
She looked at Severus, who was watching her expectantly.
"What – why…?"
He didn't answer, but with another 'come' ushered her to the far corner of the living room. There, on his solid old desk, side by side with his well-thumbed potion books and hand-written notes, his ink-bottle and his collection of quills, were a laptop and a telephone.
Alexandra looked from the desk to Severus and back again, completely dumbstruck and lost for words.
"You'll need these if you want to work from home."
His voice was low and neutral, but she could feel the tension behind it.
Home. He wanted her to live here! Her mind was unable to completely grasp this idea, she remained standing there, rooted to the spot, staring at the desk.
Outside the thunderstorm had reached its peak. Gusts of rain were beating at the windows.
"You've never dropped a hint that you knew about my problems with the lack of electricity," she finally managed to say.
"You've never said anything either, never asked me to have it installed."
"Well, I…When did you do this? And how does it work in this remote place?"
"A week before your first letter arrived. And it's solar energy. They put these panels on the roof."
"Why didn't you tell me about your plans?"
"It was supposed to be a surprise. And perhaps – perhaps I somewhat wanted to manipulate your decision to move here by creating a fait accompli."
He tried a lopsided smile.
"And when you got my letter you thought… O, Severus, what a mess! We are a pair of dunderheads, aren't we?"
"I certainly am, one of the biggest dunderheads alive."
Another silence, they were listening to the storm outside. Then, very softly, Severus continued.
"Then you want to live here?"
"Yes, by all means."
"With me?"
"Yes, of course."
He wrapped her in his arms, holding her very tight.
Outside the rain and the wind abated, the bolts of thunder and lightning becoming less frequent.
Reluctantly he released her.
"You're soaked through."
She laughed.
"So are you."
"We should get out of these clothes."
"Yes, Severus, absolutely.
Quickly she unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it over his shoulders. Then she removed her own t-shirt. When she reached for her bra, he stopped her, picked her up and carried her to the bed, before dealing with the rest of their clothes and proceeding to warm her body with his intense caresses and passionate kisses.
Later they were lying side by side, warm, satisfied, exhausted; outside the clouds had dispersed, the evening sun was shining, making the shrubs and trees in front of the window glitter like an enormous chandelier.
Lazily he traced the outlines of her stomach with his fingers.
"Let's celebrate, shall we? There's a small restaurant near Narbonne overlooking the salt lakes at the coast. The food is excellent. The owner is Yvonne's cousin."
"Yvonne?" she asked suspiciously.
"Yvonne from the monastery."
"Oh, I see."
"Would you like to go there?"
"I'd love to.
"I'll phone them and book a table."
Thanks to J.K.Rowling for creating these wonderful characters.