Here it is my lovelies! I wanted this one to start off on a lighter note since it ends up being more serious from the middle on. I hope you like it, I'm quite satisfied with how it turned out (if I do say so myself)!!!
By the way, the songs mentioned here are Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" and Goo Goo Dolls' "Iris". I do not own them or anything pertaining to Gilmore Girls.
Special thanks to jayde and LizDarcy for the tips on how to get italics! I owe you one!
Enjoy!
Chapter 6:
Iris
"I don't believe you!" Rory shouted, torn between questioning his honesty and laughing until she cried.
"I'm serious!" Tristan's face was aglow with a bright, sheepish smile and flushed cheeks. He couldn't believe it but he had just admitted one of his deepest, darkest secrets to Rory. "Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive' was my all-time favourite song when I was seven."
They had been having a very interesting, in-depth conversation about music when Tristan, without realizing it, admitted to being a huge Gloria Gaynor fan when he was little. As soon as it was out of his mouth he prayed to God that he could take it back but Rory had already been lost to her laughter and, for once, he allowed himself to succumb to the urge to let go for a while and found himself elaborating. In for a penny, in for a pound.
"God, I would pay to see you up on that stage in platforms and bellbottoms performing an amazing rendition of that song." Rory struggled to stop laughing at the mental image and, amazingly, succeeding in calming herself.
Tristan smiled. Her happiness was contagious; he was certain that nobody cold keep a straight face around her and he felt his own spirits lift a little. He thought about her gorgeous smile and her enchanting eyes while drumming his fingers on the table subconsciously. He loved the way that she would laugh at anything, never criticizing him for saying something that most people would call stupid. She was brilliant, beautiful, and unique and Tristan found himself loving everything about her.
Rory was also admiring the person who sat before her; he was quiet and shy, yet incredibly funny and sweet. There was no denying that he was handsome, but there was something about his intense gaze and his comforting voice that captivated her far more than physical attraction did. They had been speaking for about half an hour and the conversation was kept light and for the most part impersonal, but Rory found herself aching to know something personal about him. She knew that he had a private nature and she didn't want to question him and make him uncomfortable so she found herself instead examining his broad shoulders, his lean frame, and his long, strong arms. 'I wonder what it would be like to be in those arms,' she thought to herself and this time she didn't scold herself for it. Her examination continued down to his hands, they were wide and rough with the long slender fingers of a musician. Rory was about to ask him if he played an instrument when she noticed a plain silver ring on the middle finger of his left hand.
"Where did you get that?" She asked, motioning to the piece of jewelry; like Tristan, it looked like it had been through a lot.
Tristan's fingers stopped drumming at the sound of her voice and he gazed down at the ring on his finger. It was special to him; in fact, it was the only thing he had kept to remind him of his old life back in Hartford. He glanced back up at her curious face; she wanted to know and he decided to tell her as much of the truth as he could.
"It was my grandmother's wedding band, my grandfather gave it to her when they were married in 1939. I think there used to be a design on it, but I guess it faded away, I don't remember. She died when I was three, I don't really remember her either." Rory watched him closely as he spoke. His eyes took on that sad, far-away look that she had seen the day they first met and his voice was quiet and hesitant. "Many years later when I was about twelve, my grandfather got really sick. He had to stay in his bed and I couldn't see him very often. I missed being able to talk to him."
And he had, more than anything. His grandfather had been the only person he could go to, the only person who gave a damn about him. Losing him had been the hardest thing that Tristan had ever had to go through. He remembered crying in his room during those last few months, that was the only place where he could deal with his grief and he had no choice but to suffer through it alone.
His father wouldn't stand for crying, or any other emotional display, because that showed weakness and William Dugrey was not weak. His mother hadn't even cared, after all, it wasn't her father who was dying. Looking back on everything now, Tristan had never been so disgusted and ashamed by his family's actions.
He was pulled from his reverie when Rory gently placed her hand over his, her skin warming him to the very core. He stared up at her, scared by the sudden contact and the foreign show of compassion.
"You don't have to talk about if you don't want to. It's okay." She nodded at him and he saw kindness, sympathy, and warmth radiating from her cerulean eyes. He stared back, hoping to soak up some of the peace he found staring at him through her gaze.
"No, I…I would like to talk about it…I think I need to…" She smiled gently, encouraging him to continue but it was so hard to open up. He felt that he could trust her more than anyone in the world, but what if he was wrong? He felt her hand wrap around his tightly and suddenly he felt safe. " It was two months before my eighteenth birthday, I was at home when I got the call. He was in the hospital again but they didn't expect him to make it this time. I went as fast as I could, I really did, but it wasn't good enough." What came next almost broke Rory's heart. "It was my fault, he was alone when he died. He would have made it, I'm sure he would have, but no one was with him. He gave up. But if I had been there, if I had went a bit faster, he would still be alive."
Tristan paused for a moment to pull in a deep, shaky breath. "When I got there the nurse gave me the ring and said that he had wanted me to have it. It's all that I have left of him."
"Tristan, I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to lose someone, but you can't blame yourself, it only make's everything harder." She told him about Dean then and how she had blamed it on herself until very recently. Although she didn't mention it to him, when Tristan came into her life that day in the coffee shop she had realized that she couldn't spend the rest of her life mourning over him. Yes, she would always miss him, and she would always pray for him and his family but there was no way that she could turn back time, no way that they could be together again.
By the time she had finished, Rory found herself blinking back tears. It was still hard for her to talk about Dean but when Tristan told her about his grandfather he had given her something personal, almost like a piece of himself, and she had to give him something in return.
"I'm sorry, too, Rory." He smiled softly at her and she smiled back. He did it. He had told someone something that he had never shared before with anyone and he was so glad it had been her. She had comforted him and shared her own story and Tristan was thankful that he had taken that risk. He stared down at their joined hands. It was worth it.
~~~~~~~~
Rory bit back a laugh as the waitress stalked away for the third time that night. Rory had called her over to order her fourth cup of coffee and both women discreetly kept their eyes on Tristan as he squirmed uncomfortably and avoided both of their gazes. He didn't order another coffee, claiming that he wouldn't be able to sleep, though Rory had a sneaking suspicion that his reason for abstaining from her marvelous elixir was that he was afraid of the waitress.
Tristan breathed a sigh of relief when the waitress finally walked away and watched in amazement as Rory gulped down the steaming large cup. He had no idea how any body could consume that much coffee and still be healthy but Rory blamed it entirely on her mother. He had heard a lot about the other Lorelai Gilmore and pictured her as a caring, quirky, protective woman who loved her daughter, and coffee, more than life itself.
"You know how when we first met you said you were crazy?" Tristan questioned, trying unsuccessfully to hide a smile.
"Yup." Rory replied with a cheeky grin; anyone who knew her well knew that it was true.
"I think you were right." They both laughed at that.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
It was about 9:30 now; their conversation had turned back to a light banter since both parties had been embarrassed, though comforted, by their confessions. Rory had enjoyed herself so far; she loved the simple bar and the close setting, it was perfect. Not to mention the coffee was incredible, almost as good as Luke's. Mom will love it here. She was in the middle of picturing her mother begging the fat guy at the counter for a seventh cup of coffee when Tristan startled her by voicing a question that neither one of them thought he would ask.
"Rory, would…would you like to dance?" Tristan honestly had no idea where that had come from. It had been two years since he had danced with someone! Why couldn't he just control his mouth?
Rory looked at him for a second and then smiled. "I'd love to, Tristan."
Tristan almost sighed in release at her answer and stood up to pull back her chair and walk her to the dance floor.
Rory flushed as his kindness and his impeccable manners. She was praying for a slow song, she wasn't any good at dancing to club music, and some greater power must have been listening because just as they reached the floor, a new song began.
Tristan had walked behind her the whole way, fretting and lecturing himself to not step on her feet when the gentle chords of the Goo Goo Doll's "Iris" poured smoothly out of the sound system. He felt himself relax as he gently put one hand on the small of Rory's back and took her hand with the other.
At that moment, Rory's world consisted of nothing but him. His hesitant hand rested softly on her back and she felt tingles running up and down her spine. When his hand captured hers she blushed furiously and was immensely thankful for the dim lighting. He hesistantly, but ever so delicately, pulled her closer and she leaned in, resting her cheek against his.
Tristan was in heaven; there was no other way to put it. He felt her warm, smooth skin on his and he closed his eyes, wanting to stay just like this for the rest of his life.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
He knew the song well and he softly sang along, knowing that every word was the complete, honest truth.
Rory felt him move their joined hands so that hers came to rest over his heart and his covered hers protectively. That's how she felt, protected safe, cherished. She heard his deep voice close to her ear, whispering softly, and she lost herself in all the feeling and honesty emerging from his voice as she closed her eyes, wanting this moment to last forever.
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
Tristan wanted her to know, more than anything, that he meant everything that he was whispering to her. He had this terrible feeling that this could never work, but stronger than that feeling, he had hope.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Rory was caught up in the gentle, steady rhythm of his heartbeat under her hand and the wonderful sense of security that came with being wrapped in his strong arms. She wanted to know him completely, she wanted to know about all his hardships and his dreams, his hopes and fears. And she wanted him to know her entirely, but for now, she was content with just being with him.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive
Tristan was certain that he didn't deserve to be here, right now, in the arms of an angle. But he didn't care, nothing could take him from her; as long as she needed him, he'd be there. He wanted to be good for her, he wanted to be everything she had ever dreamed of, but the truth of the matter is that he was too afraid to tell her or anyone. He had spent his life hiding from the world, trying to keep the fear, rejection, and disgust at bay. If no one knew, no one could get hurt, he couldn't get hurt, and, most importantly, Rory wouldn't get hurt.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
The interlude came crashing through the speakers, the powerful music touched two worn, broken souls who had managed to find each other and were afraid to let go. Rory held him tighter, wishing she could take away all the pain and fear that she knew he kept hidden deep inside. They swayed lightly to the music and neither of them had ever been more sure of what they wanted.
Tristan felt her grip tighten and he responded by holding her closer. He had glimpsed some of her pain tonight and he had seen the anguish in her eyes; he never wanted her to suffer again. In that moment, and all the moments of his life that followed, he was willing to take all her pain and lay it on his own shoulders, he was willing to do anything to make her happy.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
The music entered a phenomenal crescendo and so did Rory's despair at the thought of leaving the warm refuge of Tristan's embrace. She could feel it then, a gentle tugging on her heartstrings, and she knew that he was special, that he was the one for her.
Tristan was positive that he was feeling something he had never felt before; a nervous and excited rush, a desire that overpowered everything else. He knew then that she was special, she was the one for him…and he was absolutely sure that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
He loved her, he was certain.
I just want you to know who I am
And he wanted to tell her,
I just want you to know who I am
that she had become his everything.
I just want you to know who I am
But there was only one thing holding him back…
I just want you to know who I am…
~~~~~~~~~
There it is! The Trory-packed chapter that I promised! I hoped you guys liked it and I really need all the feedback I can get!
Do you guys like where it's heading? But I must warn that it isn't all peaches and cream from this point on…
Peace,
Madz