A/N: Alrighty guys, I chalked it up (well, not exactly) and it looks like most of you guys asked for half the chapter and majority rules (sorry to all of those who voted to keep it whole. You don't have to read this if you don't want to, you can wait for the other bit but it might be awhile.) so here it is, if you can believe that this is only half a chapter.
Special thanks goes out to CinnamonAngel for the encouragement and threats!!! Go check out her fic "Salvation of an Angel"! It's really good!!!!
Anyways, my final exams are coming up in like 3 weeks so I probably won't post the last bit until February. I hope that this sustains you until then…
Disclaimer: Oh, and did I mention that this is all mine. Mine, mine, MINE!!!!!!!!! Jks, or at least, my Tristan is…… * get your mind outta the gutter, woman *
(Nervously) Um…ah…oh! Oh yeah, as always, reviews are greatly appreciated. à insert cheeky grin ß
Chapter 17:
What I've Really Been Needing to Say
Rory sighed heavily as she quietly passed through the door to her mother's bedroom. She paused and looked around, slowly taking in the drawn shades, impenetrable darkness and the black shadows it gave birth to. She hesitated a moment longer, her mind falling back to the strange events of the night before. The possession.
A chill crept up Rory's spine as she thought of the word, but that's what it was, there was no other name to call it. Her great-grandfather, who had been dead for the past twenty-two years had somehow taken control of her boyfriend's body. Or at least, his spirit had. That was how Tristan had described it to her this morning.
She had woken up and turned her head lazily to see Tristan's intense gaze focused on her, penetrating down to her soul. She knew that he was done with sleeping and that he couldn't get his racing mind off last night's occurrence. His body lay still, but she could feel the tension coming off him in waves. He was afraid.
Afraid because last night he had completely lost control.
She reached over and brushed his cheek soothingly, reveling in the feeling of his warm, smooth skin.
"I love you," he whispered softly.
Rory smiled, happy to wake up to nothing other than this for the rest of her life. "I love you back."
His calming voice joined hers on the next words. "Always. Forever."
Rory felt joy rushing through her veins at this. True elation. She remembered when they had made this up months ago, lying on the couch, speaking every random thought that came to their minds while Bon Jovi's "Always" played over and over on the CD player. Food, movies, music. Rory didn't know how long it was before she uttered those three simple words. Neither could she describe what she felt as he leveled his blue, blue eyes with hers and whispered right back.
Now, he closed his eyes painfully and pressed his forehead to hers. If Rory was capable of anything she would take all of his pain onto her own shoulders. But he started speaking then, because he knew what she was silently asking him. Call it a connection, but he could almost hear her every thought and she could feel his every emotion.
It was how she had woken up in time to stop her mother from attacking him last night. Rory was usually quite a heavy sleeper but while her logical brain was lost in the realm of sub-consciousness, she had felt an overwhelming fear course through her. Instantly awake, she ran out of the room and down the hallway to find her sobbing mother banging her clenched fists against Tristan's chest as he stared down at her, his tortured blue eyes evidently filled with confusion and fear.
This morning, she had cuddled closer to him, needing his warmth and protection as he told her the chilling tale. He had been looking for a glass of water and, after giving up on finding anything in the darkness of the chaotic Gilmore kitchen, he had decided to return to his makeshift bed on the couch, determined not to wake Rory up by turning on any lights. He had come to the stairs when he felt a coldness cover him, like having several vents spewing air-conditioning focused on him. The next thing he knew he was leaning against the banister as Lorelai flicked on the lights and started speaking to him.
Tristan said that he had felt like he was watching a silent movie of which he was the star, only he was stuck in the back row of the theater. The images seemed far away, distant, and they crept by slowly with no volume. He had seen Lorelai's heartbroken face and he had felt his body moving, as if of it's own will. That was when he realized that he felt cramped. As if there were two people stuffed into one burial casket, was the way he had described it. Rory had shuddered at the metaphor.
Then suddenly, Tristan was back. He had felt himself almost falling down into place as whatever had taken over him dislodged itself from his body and mind. Sound came crashing back as a violent screech and Lorelai's cries and Rory's running feet had been amplified for a moment that left his head aching. As everything returned to its normal pitch, dizziness had swept through him, as if he had stood abruptly after having sat in one position for too long.
Memories of what had taken place bombarded him; like his brain had been too slow to follow the conversation, like a sluggish file was downloading in his head. All at once, Rory was there and then both she and Lorelai were gone. Everything was silent as he struggled to control his breathing, confused, terrified tears pouring swiftly down his cheeks. Standing in the middle of the living room, he had turned, exhausted, toward the couch.
Just looking at it made him feel lonely, he had offered softly this morning. So he had headed instead for the gentle, warm glow that emitted from Rory's bedroom and curled up on the bed, where she had found him twenty minutes later after she had ensured that Lorelai had fallen asleep.
Now, here she stood, regarding her mother as she rolled over, still caught in that world between wakefulness and slumber.
Reaching out a hesitant hand, Rory rubbed her mother's back in a soothing motion, like she had to Tristan many times.
Lorelai jumped up and shook her off, truly shocked and scared by the unknown person who had crept into her bedroom.
"Get away from me!" She shouted, struggling in the darkness to see who the figure was. Her biggest fear was that a curtain would be raised and she would find herself staring at Tristan's face, only her daughter's boyfriend's beautiful blue eyes would be that bright, mischievous green she knew so well. Yet at the same time, a part of her was hoping it would happen again.
She had loved her grandfather with all her heart and losing him was one of the most challenging times in her life, but his visit, however unusual and terrifying, had given her some level of closure and peace.
"Mom, it's okay! It's just me!" Lorelai instantly recognized the voice and leaned forward to embrace her daughter.
Rory heard her mother sigh in relief as she crushed her to her chest.
"Is it just me or did we have one wild night?" The old humour comforted Rory and made it easier to believe that her mother didn't care about what had happened but her tight grip and racing heart told another tale.
"It isn't just you."
Rory waited in silence for her mother to pull away. Lorelai leaned back against the headboard and her daughter studied her heavy, weary eyes and slumped shoulders.
"How are you feeling?" Rory ventured cautiously.
Lorelai shut her eyes at that and muttered, "Like I'm in the twilight zone."
Rory allowed a soft chuckle to escape as she reached for her mother's hand and spoke, concern evident in her voice. "How are you really feeling, Mom?"
A soft groan broke the silence in the room that followed Rory's gentle question as Lorelai pulled Rory closer so that mother and daughter could snuggle under the covers.
"Terrible. Like the world in whirring around in my head and I can't catch hold of anything that makes sense."
"We Gilmore girls never did have a penchant for that," came Rory's playful joke.
"An excellent point," Lorelai returned, only her voice didn't hold its usual cheery tone.
A heavy silence permeated the room as both women lost themselves in thought. Rory was praying that the three of them could get through this together. Tristan had been so uncertain and wary about coming to Stars Hollow; Lorelai being afraid of him was all it would take to send him running back to New Haven. To safety.
To loneliness.
Lorelai couldn't get her late grandfather's words out of her head or the circumstance through which they had revealed to him. Whenever she closed her eyes, all she could see was the haunting, wise green eyes that didn't quite suit Tristan and the deep, soothing voice that was similar but so different from the young man's. All she could hear was 'cara' resounding in her head. All she could feel was an absence as green eyes shifted into blue eyes.
Scared blue eyes.
"Is he okay?" Lorelai questioned hesitantly, not speaking his name just yet. It hurt to think of him and what he had done.
"He will be," Rory hugged her tightly, finding comfort in her motherly embrace. "But only if you tell him that you'll be fine. You have to understand what he's like, mom. If you can't accept this, if you're scared of him…he'll never forgive himself."
Lorelai didn't answer. She knew that every word her daughter was whispering hesitantly was true.
"Please don't do that to him, mom. He doesn't deserve to live with that pain. And you don't deserve it, either."
Again, Rory received no answer. Lorelai hated to think that something like this had happened to Tristan before.
In the few hours that she had known him, Tristan had come off as a very sweet, intelligent, and funny, albeit shy, young man. She had liked him immediately and Lorelai trusted her judgment as much as she did her daughter, both of which were gently suggesting that she put the incident behind her.
But it was an impossible feat. Even if she could come to accept the fact that her dead grandfather had spoken to her from beyond the grave in a final effort to apologize, what was she left to think about Tristan?
Lorelai had seen "The Sixth Sense" and "Poltergeist", although she had never been able to make herself watch "The Exorcist". But what did she have in her hands now? Her daughter's boyfriend, who had done the strangest thing last night: become the…host of a possession.
It was far too bizarre for anyone to rationally accept but Lorelai studied her daughter and saw nothing but love and hope reflecting in her innocent blue eyes.
Rory wasn't afraid.
And neither should she be.
"Rory,…has this happened to him before?" Lorelai held her breath, afraid to hear the answer.
"No! Nothing this…extreme," Rory was praying her mother would leave it at that but even she knew better.
Lorelai could feel fear creeping up on her and she gripped Rory's hand tightly. "What exactly do you mean by that?"
"I mean that he's never been…controlled like that before. But he's just different, Mom."
"Different how?" Lorelai questioned wearily.
Rory hesitated. She wanted to tell her mother all of it, right here, right now, so badly. But she couldn't. She and Tristan had agreed on that.
"Mom, please trust me when I say that he is one of the most incredible people I have ever met. He's so kind and selfless…He's suffered so much but he never hesitates to put everyone else's needs before his own."
Lorelai listened thoughtfully to the description and saw something that she couldn't quite understand shining in her daughter's eyes. Without any effort, she believed everything that was passing through Rory's lips.
"Will you come down stairs and talk to him?" Rory asked, her voice full of hope.
Lorelai stiffened. She couldn't. Not yet.
She needed time; time to think things through, time to come up with a solution.
Rory saw her mother tense and, without thinking, leaned forward and hugged her tightly. There was a safety here that she felt in only one other place: Tristan's arms.
She stayed like that until Lorelai returned the embrace. Silence fell as the two women sat together, giving each other comfort and reassurance.
Slowly, Rory pulled back and look Lorelai in the eyes.
"Please, mom…for me?"
A war was raging inside of Lorelai. She wanted to bring that full light back into her daughter's eyes yet she wanted Tristan to go so they could return to their normal lives. She wanted to help heal the boy that she had helped hurt yet she was too afraid to look him in the eyes again. She wanted everything to be out in the open yet she couldn't stand the thought of the fictional world of normality in her head being shattered.
But, with one look into her daughter's eyes, the banners fell, the fighting ceased, and everything became clear.
"Okay."
~~~~~~~
Save for a ticking clock, the room and its inhabitants were completely silent. Tristan and Rory sat together on the couch, their hands clasped tightly together for support, while Lorelai seated herself across from them.
Face-off. Tristan thought grimly. She's terrified of me.
Suddenly, he felt sick again and that old voice taunted him in his head once more. You're a freak, Tristan, everybody is afraid of you.
He knew that Lorelai's fear had turned into anger and was now building a defensive wall around her. It was up to him to dismantle that wall with nothing other than trusting words and careful explanations.
Rory surveyed the situation and sighed inwardly. This would be a difficult task, she knew. Tristan sat beside her, cautious and unsure, and her mother perched on the edge of her seat, doubtful and afraid.
This is going to be a challenge if there ever was one, Rory thought hopelessly, finally losing a bit of her optimism.
Without saying a word, Rory rose up and wandered into the kitchen and, pulling three mugs from the cupboard, began to make coffee.
Moments later, she returned to the room with a tray and distributed a cup to everyone. She handed a bright yellow, smiley face mug to her mother, and silently squeezed her hand before returning to Tristan's side. He accepted the drink but, unlike her mother who was already sipping silently, he wrapped both hands around the warm vessel and stared into its black depths absentmindedly.
Rory couldn't stand this, with the two of them avoiding everything, including eye contact, they would never solve this. It was time for her to take matters into her own hands.
"Mom, do you remember just after when Tristan and I started dating? When I told you that I thought he was hiding something from me?" Rory ensured that her voice was gentle, put she felt Tristan stiffen beside her and beheld the same change in her mother's countenance with her eyes.
Lorelai met her daughter's kind gaze, still avoiding the young man who sat next to her. Hesitantly, she nodded.
"Well, you probably thought that it was about his parents, about everything you learned from Grandma and Grandpa that night." Again Lorelai nodded. Yes, she had thought that his parent's neglect and mistreatment of him had been the big mystery.
Lorelai's thoughts were momentarily interrupted as Tristan's mug crashed loudly on the table.
He was trying not to get upset but with everything that was happening right now but Rory's mention of his parents had been the last thing he expected. The way that Rory pulled the words out of nowhere shocked him back into reality, hit him like a sucker punch. His mug had tipped dangerously and he slammed it down on the table, knowing his hand wasn't steady enough to prevent a spill. He was hoping that no one saw his startled reaction but the noise was enough to draw more attention then he wanted. He turned his head away from the two women and focused his gaze on the photographs lining the wall. Already, Tristan could feel anger and loneliness rushing through his veins.
Without thinking, Rory reached for his hand and took hold of his strong jaw, turning him gently until he met her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. Tristan stared into her beautiful eyes. He could read the silent message she was sending him.
I love you.
Slowly, he felt the overwhelming feeling of solitude disappear and his anger move from William and Priscilla DuGray to himself, for letting them get to him.
He graced Rory with a gentle smile and nodded, putting all of his love into that single look.
I love you back, he told her. Always, forever.
It wasn't her fault, not in the least. Tristan cleared his throat, pushing all thoughts of his childhood out of his head, and returned his focus to the matter at hand.
Lorelai, meanwhile, could feel the bond these two had for each other soaking into every corner of the room. She had seen the infinite pain in Tristan's eyes, had watched as it took over him, leaving his shoulders drooping and his eyes desolate. But then, within an instant, her daughter was smiling at him and her bright light washed away his agony, leaving him with nothing other than true love and support for her shinning in his eyes.
My gosh, Lorelai thought, her heart fluttering in her chest, they're so-
Once more her thoughts were interrupted, this time by Rory's gentle, pressing voice.
"Well, Mom, that was only part of it…there's more…," Rory paused, wondering how to phrase her next words. "You see, ever since he was little, Tristan's been different from everyone else."
Lorelai stopped drinking her calming elixir as Rory turned to Tristan and looked at him expectantly. She was almost afraid to hear what was about to come out of his mouth.
Tristan felt panic stir in him as Rory turned to him, handing him the spotlight, waiting for him to tell his story. He took a calming breath and faced Lorelai, letting the truth slip out from his hesitant lips.
"It was the summer just after I turned seven. My parents brought me to their summer home in upstate New York but as soon as we got there, they left for the city. I didn't really think anything of it, I mean, they did that all of the time. Besides, the estate had a pond on it, a big one. Or at least, it seemed that way to me. I was playing there one day, unsupervised, and I thought it would be fun to jump off the dock. I was pretty good at swimming and I knew…" Tristan hesitated and Rory squeezed his hand encouragingly. "I knew that my parents wouldn't care if anything happened to me."
Lorelai felt her heart breaking for this young man. First he suffered through his terrible parents, then his grandfather's death, and then seeing no other option than running away. Even though she was scared, deep down in her heart Lorelai knew that Tristan didn't deserve any of that. She found herself leaning in to listen to his soft, deep voice and realized that with every word he whispered, her fear was lessening.
"Anyway, I did it. I jumped and I expected myself to float right back up but…something happened. I almost died that day, nearly drowned to death was what the doctor said later." Tristan paused for a moment, thinking of the deep black water and the secret creature it held. Fear gripped his heart. He still couldn't stand the thought of water, couldn't get in anything deeper than a bathtub. Twice his life had been endangered by water and the second time, for a moment, he might have actually died. There was nothing as terrifying as trying to understand that.
He awoke from his reverie to find Rory and Lorelai watching him expectantly. A spark of hope lit inside him as he noticed that Lorelai was looking him straight in the eyes.
Clearing his throat, he continued. "Anyway, something…grabbed me when I was down there. They held me under until…until I passed out. But I can still remember him."
Lorelai felt a chill creep through her. Him?
Tristan saw the fearful question in her eyes and averted his gaze to the warm mug in his hands. "He looked-he looked like…death. I'm sorry but that's the only way I can describe him. What was left of his skin was pale and…his eyes were pure black, through and through. And he was screaming at me. Funny thing is, we were under water but I could hear him as clearly as if we were sitting on the dock and he had a foghorn pressed to my ear. Then he was shaking me so roughly that I had bruises on my arms for weeks. I remember trying to scream for help and then my lungs were burning and…and I lost consciousness."
Silence hung in the air for many moments.
"One of the villa staff members found me floating in the water and used CPR on me. The doctor came, although my parents didn't, and he said I would be fine, that next time I would have to be better supervised. I didn't tell anyone about what I saw. After that, they were everywhere."
Tristan paused again; he didn't want to get any deeper into this than he already was. It hurt too much.
"Who?"
Tristan's head snapped up to meet Lorelai's eyes. Those were the first words she had spoken to him since last night.
Sensing that she was becoming less afraid of him, Tristan eased a little. He had thought that as his story went on, her fear would increase, but, then again, the Gilmore girls were always contradicting something. The thought brought a soft smile to his face, one that faded as soon as he saw Lorelai's expectant eyes and the realization hit him that he would have to give her an answer.
Taking a deep breath, he murmured.
"The ghosts."
Lorelai's hands grabbed the arms of her chair until her knuckles turned white and she shot him a disbelieving look, but still she met his gaze head on as she waited for more.
"Ever since then, I've been able to see things that other people can't, things that normal people believe aren't there, things that shouldn't be there." Hesitantly, slowly, Tristan told her everything.
He told her about his connection to the spirits and what happened when they touched him. He told her how they came to him for help, although they were never quite satisfied with the outcome. He explained how most of them didn't know that they were dead and that it was his job to tell them. He shared how some of them hurt him, physically hurt him, to get there way.
"But I've never experienced what happened last night," he finished quietly, studying her face fearfully, wondering how she would respond.
Lorelai was silent for a long moment, although she was perfectly aware that the young couple was waiting for her to speak.
This is unbelievable, her thoughts spun around inside her head. Simply unbelievable. They can't be serious; Rory wouldn't believe something like this and she certainly wouldn't lie to me.
Another thought hit Lorelai, one that she liked much better. Where's the hidden camera? This had to be one of those prank shows. No way was she going to make a fool of herself on national television.
Pleased with her explanation for all of this, Lorelai glanced at her daughter and Tristan. Out of nowhere, she began to laugh.
Tristan turned to look at Rory and she could see the pain swamping his blue, blue eyes. He had pushed his secrets out in the open, had placed everything on the line because she asked him to and there was her mother, roaring and giggling in her chair.
Rory squeezed her boyfriend's hand and whispered that everything would be fine, but Tristan had already turned his gaze down to the floor dejectedly.
How many times had he been laughed at before? Pain, new and old bombarded him as he closed his eyes, trying to forget the memories of past humiliations while simultaneously blocking out this present one.
After all, what was one more time?
Lorelai continued to carry on, smiling gaily while tears flooded down her face. She found it curious that her joyful actions were such a contradiction to how terrible she felt inside.
"Mom," Rory whispered, not bothering to raise her voice but silently demanding that her mother stop this behaviour and listen. "He's telling the truth. Every single word."
Silence flooded the room as Lorelai's laughter ceased and she stared, shocked, at her daughter, the person she cared most for in the world.
"Rory, you can't be serious," She whispered fearfully.
Her only response was the silent nodding of Rory's head.
Tristan watched, fearing that Lorelai would laugh so hard that she'd cry again. Needless to say, he was shocked when tears did pour down her face, but in a very different manner.
Lorelai couldn't help the tears the streamed down her cheeks. If she honestly thought about it, Tristan's assertion wasn't that hard to accept. People did see ghosts, all of the time, even scientists on television acknowledged that there were some things they couldn't explain.
"So, what?" Lorelai questioned Tristan through her tears, a wild smile on her face. "You're just an older, hotter version of Haley Joel Osmet?"
No answer came and even Lorelai couldn't keep the humourous thoughts in her head for long.
But just coming to realize that there were things out in this world that she couldn't control, things that nobody could understand, things that her daughter was being exposed to, was the hardest goal to achieve.
Lorelai stared at her daughter through her tears. I can't always protect her, she thought sadly. She isn't my baby girl anymore.
As if reading her mother's thoughts, Rory flew to Lorelai's side and jumped into her arms. Before long, both women were leaning into each other's embrace, silently crying their hearts out.
Tristan, watching from his place on the couch, felt his earlier feeling of belonging go up in smoke. Lorelai's joke had restored a tiny amount of his piece of mind but just watching the two mourn and comfort each other reminded Tristan of how much he didn't belong in this setting.
A unit that functioned together, that looked to each other for support, which openly expressed their thoughts and emotions, and knew and loved each other completely.
This was the definition of the Gilmore girls.
This was also something Tristan would never have.
Pushing himself to his feet, Tristan rose and headed for the door.
"I'll just give you two some time alone," he murmured, wondering if anyone had heard him anyway. At least Lorelai had taken it better than he'd expected. Now he was hoping for a dose of solitude himself. All he wanted was to curl up and take a nap, to get this tired, lonely feeling out of his bones.
He passed their chair on his way to the front door and nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist.
He turned, startled, to find Lorelai staring up at him, smiling gently through her tears.
"I-I'm sorry, Tristan," She said softly. "For treating you the way I did."
Tristan nodded, silently assuring her that he had forgiven her, and began to move once more for the door. But Lorelai's warm hand still gripped his wrist and he stopped as she began to speak hesitantly again.
"I think that, given a little time, I can come to accept everything you just told me." A pause and Tristan waited anxiously. Then a goofy grin covered her face and her usual comic, self-assured tone broke the silence. "Come see me again in five minutes."
Tristan laughed softly and Lorelai smiled. "Ah! So that's what it's like to see you smiling."
Heat rose to Tristan's cheeks at that comment as his girlfriend giggled against her mother's shoulder.
"Seriously, though, I want you to know that I am very happy to have you here and that you are welcome in my home anytime, okay?"
Tristan nodded and took a chance to join in the jest. "Anytime? You know I just might take too much advantage of that right?"
"But at least you gave me a heads-up. That has to count for something," Lorelai countered with a giggle.
"My thoughts exactly," Tristan replied, feeling some of the heaviness lift of his shoulders.
"Good. Now, skidaddle and leave me and my daughter for some nice, juicy girl talk."
Tristan smiled and went to find his jacket.
He needed a place to sit and think about everything that had just happened. He pulled on his boots and headed out the front door, pausing to take a deep breath and stared out at the snowy world that surrounded him. Just being here, standing on Rory's front porch, he felt like the luckiest guy alive.
It's amazing how quickly some things can turn around.
But in the last half an hour, everything had changed. Two people knew his secret now and just thinking about that made Tristan feel exposed, vulnerable, naked. At the same time, he felt a little lighter, as if now Lorelai, as well as Rory, had taken some of the weight off his shoulders.
He trusted Rory with his life and he was almost certain that he could feel the same about Lorelai but it was so hard to let go and open up to people.
But he was learning. Slowly. Taking baby steps out into this new world.
One foot in front of the other, DuGray, he coaxed himself silently in his head. He placed one foot on the first step, then the other on the second. He let his feet take him where they pleased as he contemplated everything and nothing at the same time.
He tramped through this new town on his own and, along with its peculiarity, he was absorbing what it felt like to know that he had left two people behind. Two people he could trust; two people who really cared for him.
As always, everything in his life happened quickly and was terribly confusing.
Mother meets boyfriend. Scary. Mother likes boyfriend. Good. Boyfriend hosts a possession. Not good. Mother witnesses possession. Bad. Mother is terrified of boyfriend. Very bad. Mother, daughter, and boyfriend talk. Good. Everything is solved and then boyfriend is kicked out for girl time.
Tristan winced. He would most definitely be the topic of conversation.
Definitely not good.
~~~~~~~
"Thank you so, so much, Mom. You have no idea how much this means to me."
They lay sprawled on the couch that Tristan had just vacated and for the first time since last night, things felt like they were beginning to return to normal.
Lorelai winked one of her now dry eyes. "Anytime, sugar," she replied in a manly voice.
"No," Rory giggled. "I'm serious. If you hadn't accepted him, what we have could never work. And I want it to work, I really do."
Lorelai turned to stare at her daughter and studied her silently. Rory's cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright and wild, and a silly grin covered her lips.
Wow, Lorelai thought to herself, but out loud she said:
"Should I order the wedding invitations now?"
"Mom!" Rory slapped her mother playfully as she laughed. "Don't be silly!"
"How do you feel about rush delivery?" Lorelai continued.
"Ugh!" Rory growled in half-faked frustration.
"Wow, you want him that badly?"
Rory closed her eyes and failed to control the smile that tugged at her lips. "You're impossible."
"Impossibly good-looking? Yup, I always felt that way."
"No, seriously, Mom," Rory turned to her and found herself whispering. "He's special."
"Well than you're lucky you found him," Lorelai whispered back.
"I know, Mom. Believe me, I know," Rory answered. "When I first met him, I thought that a guy that is that good-looking would have been completely stuck up and egotistical. I was afraid to talk to him but at the same time I really wanted to. I was so scared but I felt like I could trust him, you know?"
Lorelai didn't reply because she could tell from her daughter's soft voice, glowing smile, and dazed eyes that she wasn't expecting one.
"He just completely shocked me, Mom. I mean, he was so hesitant and shy; it's so hard for him to trust people. I was so enthralled but I couldn't really figure out what made him that way. And when I found out, when he told me what he told you today…Mom, I was so terrible to him. I called him terrible names, I ran away from him, I told him to never speak to me again." Rory paused as she blinked back tears. "I've never seen so much pain in anyone's eyes before and it hurt so much to know that I put it there."
"But you were just scared, sweetie. I know you, better than anyone, and I know that you would never want to hurt anybody. Tristan's a good guy, Rory. He was good enough to forgive you and but it behind him and you need to do the same thing," Lorelai brushed her daughter's hair out of her face and smiled at her.
"I know, Mom. And I'm trying to. But I don't want to ever see him hurting again."
Smiling at Rory's innocent solemn eyes, Lorelai hugged her daughter tightly. "I know you don't, baby, but at some point in his life he will be hurting. The important thing is that you're there to help him through it. And if he's there for you when you need him…well, that's when you know you've got something special."
A single tear rolled down Rory's smiling face. "I love him, Mom," she whispered.
Lorelai studied her for a second. She could feel that common stab of pain as she was reminded again of how grown up her daughter was becoming. Her eyes were still that bright, innocent blue but there was also a new hint of wisdom lurking in their depths. Lorelai thought of the matured, sweet young man who complimented her daughter so well and found herself whispering as she spoke. "Really?"
Rory nodded to her mother, gracing her with a secret smile as her mother pulled her into one last embrace.
"Really."
~~~~~~~
"Miss Patty, have you seen-?"
"He's at the gazebo, darling. And can I say that he is one fine specimen!" Rory giggled as she waved goodbye and called back a thank you, continuing on her way.
The snow crunched beneath her heavy boots, serving as a reminder of Christmas' impending arrival. Everything was perfect or as close to it as it ever could be.
She had managed to drag Tristan down to Stars Hollow, her mother knew his secret and, although she was a little shaken at first, accepted him, and Rory had never felt so happy.
Life was ironic like that. Four months ago, she couldn't have imagined how wonderful the holidays would be. Last Christmas, after Dean's death, had been black and dreary.
How many times had she picked up the phone to call or pulled on her boots to visit just to remember that he wouldn't be there? It had been one of the darkest periods of her life but time had healed her wounds and Tristan was like a light, and had chased away the shadows.
She could spot him now and his image grew larger with each step she took. He sat on the bench in the middle of the white wooden structure. His glove-less hands were tucked into his pockets and long pajama clad legs stretched out in front of him ending in a pair of black boots dripping with melting snow.
As she raced happily up the steps, Rory noticed that he only had a light sweater on to protect him against the cold. She herself was decked from head to toe in heavy duty yellow boots, a bright blue ski jacket, and a pair of pink Rudolph gloves and a matching pink hat.
"Hey, silly," she greeted him as she slipped, rather ungracefully, onto the bench beside him.
"Hey," He answered back, wrapping a strong arm around her and laughing as he asked, "Did you have a nice trip?"
Rory scowled playfully and refused to answer as she leaned over to grab a handful of snow.
"And how am I the silly one?" Tristan continued, unfazed, as he gestured towards her gloves.
"Oh, I don't know," answered a frustrated Rory as she let her pathetic excuse for a snowball drop to the ground. "It's not the good stuff!" She complained.
"Huh?"
"Nothing." Rory giggled at his confused expression. "Anyways, perhaps it's because you aren't wearing a jacket and it's fifty below!"
"It isn't fifty below!" Tristan countered nonchalantly. "And I'm a macho man, remember? I'd sooner freeze to death than admit to feeling a chill."
Rory laughed and turned to watch Taylor shoveling the sidewalk in front of his shop, glad that they had both rebounded so well from last night. "If we had the right snow, I'd show you who wears the pants in this relationship."
Tristan laughed. "Oh really?"
Rory stuck her nose in the air indignantly and turned back. "Yes, re-"
But she was cut off by the snowball that exploded in her face.
"I think I found some packing snow." Came her boyfriend's playful teasing.
"Tristan!" She squealed, fighting to get the frozen substance of her face. "You are dead!"
"I don't think so." Another snowball hit her but this time he was nice enough to aim for her stomach.
"Oof! That's it, DuGrey!" She shouted as she crouched behind the bench and prepared a snowball.
"Bring it on, Gilmore!"
Tristan dove off the gazebo as she fired away and smacked him in the back. "It's already been broughten!" She shouted in a pitiful imitation of "Bring It On".
All was silent for several moments as Rory crouched, on guard, behind her protective hideout. She waited, watching her three snowballs as they stared up at her.
Any minute now he'll attack.
Nothing.
Any minute now.
When nothing happened, Rory cautiously stood up.
This is EagleEye to HomeBase, we have lost position on HotSlyBoyfriend. Rory paused to giggle at the insanity running wild in her head. She looked around her but to no avail. Her mischievous boyfriend was no where to be seen but there was no way that she was going to lose this battle.
Logic told her that he had to be crouching against the gazebo's walls, but where?
I'm surrounded. Stay calm, Gilmore, you can get yourself out of this.
She knew what she had to do. In this case, it was best to sell oneself out to one's enemies. Go quietly, with puppy eyes, pouting lips and as many eyelash flutters as necessary.
"Tris-?"
It came unexpectedly. The onslaught of snow, the playful shouting, the running, the laughing. Before she new it, Rory was racing for the steps, trying desperately to evade Tristan as he rushed up from behind her, pelting her with snowballs and heaving a warrior's cry. She raced around the bench and scrambled for the steps but before her foot landed on the last step, strong arms were wrapping around her waist, swooping her up and spinning her around, only to dump her unceremoniously in the snow moments later.
High-pitched giggles escaped from her lips as Tristan fell alongside her, rolling in the snow before shaking his head over hers, sending a miniature snow storm falling around her face.
"Tristan! How could you?" Struggling to keep her tone serious, Rory pushed her hands against his chest in an effort to get him off her.
Tristan could see her blushing cheeks and delighted eyes and he knew she was the farthest from mad as she had ever been. "Well, maybe if you weren't so miserable at aiming, not to mention dodging, snowballs, you would have stood a chance."
Rory laughed indignantly as she continued to shove against the muscled body covering the length of hers. "I'll have you know that I invented the Snowball Sidestep Defense."
"Really?" Tristan question, a mock pensive look covering his features. Rory nodded proudly. "Hmm, that's funny. I don't think I've ever heard of it."
Rory's eyebrows scrunched together as she thought of a response and, without missing a beat, one came. It was time to get even. With playfully narrowed eyes, she raised her lips to his ear and lowered her voice to a seductive whisper. "Well, that's because it's so effective. You know, top secret, mission impossible, high access, totally confidential. The whole nine yards. Something that you," she paused, "definitely couldn't handle."
Tristan nearly gawked at her smoldering eyes and sexy murmurs. It was bad enough that her hands were pressing against his chest and he lay completely on top of her but now Tristan could feel a familiar fire sweeping over every inch of his body.
Unable to move or form one coherent thought he stared down into her eyes trying to understand what had gotten into her.
Rory tried to keep her face serious but Tristan's wide, surprised eyes and slack jaw were almost enough to make her succumb to the urge to laugh and blow her cover. While playing with the tiny, soft hairs at the back of his neck, Rory cleared her throat expectantly.
Tristan shook his head and struggled to ignore the feeling of her nails grazing against the sensitive skin of his neck.
"I-I see." He suppressed a cringe as he heard his own stuttering, miserable attempt at a reply.
At that, Rory withdrew her hands and leveled her eyes with his, recovering her usual tone.
"Besides, I only let you win because you're a rookie."
Tristan's faced scrunched up in confusion and Rory felt his body tense. "W-What?…I –"
"I believe that I win…" Rory grinned triumphantly. "Rookie."
Understanding swept over Tristan's face and his body relaxed once again as his cheeks tinted an even rosier pink. Rory laughed in victory as he groan and hid his face against her neck.
Rory shivered at the feel of his cold nose against her skin and, removing her gloves, rubbed his back gently. "It's okay. You can admit defeat and shower me with your praises later."
"That's it!" Within seconds he was reaching for her neck, lightly tickling the skin at the base of her throat.
"Tristan, no!"
"Oh, is this bothering you? I thought I was just a rookie, Gilmore!"
His hand found its way under her sweater and began to ravage her sensitive stomach. Shrilled laughter escaped her lips as Rory managed to roll out from under him and scamper away.
Before she could get very far, she was gently tackled from behind and lowered once more into the snow. This time, Tristan crashed down next to her, spreading out his arms and legs, both of them breathing heavily as the last of their laughter subsided.
"I win again," Tristan said breathlessly. "DuGrey, two. Gilmore, zero."
Rory grunted, too comfortable point out her victory and start something else. Besides, she had already learned the hard way that in the chance that she did start something, Tristan would definitely finish it.
"Come on, let's make snow angels before all of this gets to you head."
Tristan laughed gently but soon they were quietly moving their arms and legs against the snow, staring at the clouds dotting the vast blue sky over.
For many moments they were silent until Tristan's voice broke the tranquility. "It's too cold for snow angles."
Rory turned on her side, giggling, but stopped when she saw her boyfriend. His messy, usually spiky hair was flattened against his head, the golden strands turned light brown by the water. His light sweater and jeans were soaked through and his cheeks and nose were bright red against his pale skin.
"Come here," she whispered. Tristan turned onto his side and pulled himself up next to her, their faces inches away. Their breath left their lips in smoky swirls and faded from sight as quickly as they had come. Rory took hold of his cold hands and brought them up to her mouth, blowing gently and pausing only to rub her hands over his.
"You're completely soaked, Tristan." She murmured, not sounding half as stern as she meant to.
"Not true," he whispered back, tiredly. "My feet are nice and warm."
Rory smiled half-heartedly and stared quietly at him for a moment. She had seen him at his worst, when his face was pale with pain and fear and his eyes hid all of his emotions from her. But now, sprawled out next to her in the soft snow, his tired face was unlined and his sapphire eyes shone gently with their calming light.
"You know, Mom really is okay with what you told her." She watched as he shifted uncomfortably, although his eyes never left hers. "I just want you to know that she really likes you and…"
Her voice trailed off and Tristan watched her silently, patiently waiting for her to be ready.
"Tristan," Gentle fingertips reached up to caress her skin and lovingly tuck her hair behind her ear, urging her to continue. "I just want you to know how proud I am of you. And how much I love you."
A gentle smile broke across his face as Tristan closed his eyes at her words. This was it. This was what he wanted for the rest of his life. Rory. Only Rory.
Meanwhile, Rory could hear her heartbeat thrumming loudly in her ears. She knew exactly what he would say but just being with him was a wild rush that had her skin tingling and her skin flushing yet could calm and comfort her like no other.
Inching closer, Tristan threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her lips to his. Rory's hands founded fistfuls of his sweater and pulled him even closer, forgetting about the gazebo, the snow. Everything.
There was something irresistible about him. Maybe it was the way his fingers rubbed soft circles into her back that left her skin burning for his touch. Maybe it was his soft lips and sweet taste that left her lips aching for more. Maybe it was the connection she could feel sparking between them as he kissed her even harder.
Or maybe it was the fact that he cherished her, above everything. That, with all of his faults, failings, and imperfections he was…perfect.
Slowly, Tristan pulled his lips from hers. "Rory," His voice was husky and deep in her ear and his muscular chest heaved for breath against her hands. "We're in the middle of town."
Rory pouted but knew that he was right. They could easily blame their blushing skin on the cold, but there was no way that Tristan would get away with such swollen lips. Rory licked her lips, craving his on hers once more but Tristan only laughed softly and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"We should get back," he mumbled, but he made no effort to move.
Rory nodded but settled deeper into his arms. She caught a scent of soap and aftershave, a soft smell that tickled her nose and reminded her only of Tristan. It was the same smell that permeated his apartment; the couch, the pillows, the sheets.
Rory's mind drifted back to nights spent wrapped up in his strong arms, listening to him breathing softly in his sleep, feeling so safe and loved and precious. No matter what worries were running through his head, regardless of what demons he was battling, he was never not there for her when she needed him. He was her fallen angel.
"How could you be so strong?" Rory murmured, her voice soft with wonder.
Tristan shook his head lazily and gave her a half-smile. "I'm anything but strong, Rory."
"No, Tristan," came her adamant reply. "You're an incredible person." So sweet, so selfless, and so loving. But she didn't need to say that, she told him wordlessly, with her eyes.
Tristan gave her a tired smile and held both of her hands in his.
He was like a weary, worn warrior, Rory thought. Already he had fought so many battles, and he knew there would be more to come, but he never gave up. Never stopped fighting. No matter what.
Tristan smiled at the girl who lay wrapped up in his arms, staring at him with more love in her eyes than he ever thought possible. Never would he ever be worthy of her sweet kisses. Never should he be allowed to be showered with the light from her bright smiles. Never in a million years would he be deserving of those eyes.
But Tristan didn't tell her all that, for fear that if those words left his lips he would awake from the dream that all of this surly was. He was the luckiest man alive.
After what seemed like forever, he spoke. "Well, love," he murmured, his voice soft and deep, his constant soothing heartbeat thumping under her hand. "If you say so, I'll believe you."
He seemed to be the epitome of one of God's angels, fallen from Heaven, living in disguise among mankind.
And only the light hint of mischief in his eyes gave him away.
~~~~~~~
Lorelai pushed open the front doors and dropped two armfuls of shopping bags on the hall in the front foyer. Last minute Christmas shopping was the worst, but after buying herself a cup of Luke's steaming, soul-redeeming coffee and getting a picture taken with Santa Taylor, she was definitely in better spirits.
Shaking snow off her boots, Lorelai noticed two pairs of gleaming boots, pink and black, respectively, lined up neatly on the carpet. A few feet away, a soaking pair of pink Rudolph gloves and a matching hat were strategically placed above a heater. Obviously, her daughter hadn't been the one behind all this.
Lorelai kicked off her boots, letting them lay where they had fallen and listened to the silent house.
Stepping towards the living room, Lorelai called out. "Rory? Trist-?"
She stopped immediately as Tristan murmured and stretched out, turning towards her in his sleep. The blanket that had been covering him and Rory fell to the floor as Lorelai's eyes scanned the various bowls of food and full coffee mugs spread out along the coffee table. Well, at least one of them was full.
Her daughter lay between Tristan and the back of the couch and Lorelai noticed that they were bundled up warmly in thick sweaters and warm socks.
A couple certain someones had been frolicking in the snow for awhile.
Lorelai crept, as quietly as she could, further into the room. She pushed the coffee table further away from the couch, lest Tristan rolled off and bent to pick up the blanket.
As if sensing her presence, Tristan frowned in his sleep and rolled back over, curling his body protectively around her daughter's and burying his face in her long, flowing hair.
Lorelai paused before covering the slumbering couple with the blanket once more.
He cares about her that much, she thought and only a mother could see how perfect this young man was for her daughter.
Without another thought, Lorelai dashed into the kitchen and came rushing back a moment later, camera in hand. She clicked off the flash, hoping to avoid walking Rory and Tristan up. They probably hadn't slept much last night and they definitely needed some rest before tomorrow.
Leaning carefully over them, Lorelai centered the picture on their faces which were turned towards each other, forehead to forehead.
Pushing the button, she whispered. "Gotchya."
She smiled again as Tristan wrapped his arms tighter around Rory's tiny waist and mumbled something she couldn't hear.
Tristan, my friend, she thought. You have got to relax.
Even that thought was only half-serious. As a mother, Lorelai was happy that her daughter had found someone who was willing to protect and care for her and obviously respected and cherished her.
But still, he did need to unwind. Lorelai watched as another frown puckered his face, still flushed from the cold, and lines creased his forehead as his brow furrowed.
Hmmm. There was definitely an opportunity for her here. I am, after all, the Queen of Unwinding.
With a thousand ideas flying through her head, Lorelai left the two undisturbed to see to finishing up her Christmas wrapping.
The only hint of what was to come was a wicked smile that played on her lips.
~~~~~~~
Alrighty! Do you see how long this is?!?!? I still have to write soooooo much more…Well, not a whole lot.
Anyway, the last half is on its way (and I'm serious this time, there is only one more chapter!!!!)
I can't believe that this story is almost finished…Tear.
Well, review and praise me (plz)………
Or else I'll make you wait another two months for the last half.
Just kidding, I'm not THAT cruel!!!!!!!
Love Always,
MAdz