I really debated posting this for him this time just because some of the thing's Edward say's is well cruel and I told him he's only feeding an impending fire but he doesn't care and wants to be heard. I want to make this perfectly clear my views and Ed Elric's are completely different. I just go to clean up his apartment and cook for him….which he makes absolutely difficult for me to do. Anyways I'm apologizing for Ed's behavior in advance.

Mayuna

I really couldn't believe that there were replies to this. You weren't supposed to reply! You were supposed to say 'wow, well that settles that' or even 'Ed's an odd ball. I'm going to stay as far away from his as possible' but no, you can't just do that can you? What surprised me even more was most of you enjoyed it! As if my explaining this to you brought you some happiness. What the hell? I didn't do that and was not put on this earth to make you all happy. I don't even know you people!

Now I wasn't going to read these because frankly I don't really care but my house keep girl, who is posting these for me on that site she wastes too much time on when she should be cleaning or shopping for me, showed them to me because she thought they were funny. I was disturbed by the fact that people replied honestly in particular by three of the 'reviews' that were sent.

Bwahahaha, this was hilarious, Auntie! XD Ed's a grumpy old guy! I'll have an emotional relationship with you, Ed! flails like the fangirl she is -Ayumi Elric

There are so many things wrong with this I don't even know where to begin. First off, who the hell are you to call yourself an Elric? I never had children but Al had quite a few so I asked him if you were one of his grandkids or great grandkids. He said he'd never heard of you before so I ask again, who the hell are you? What did you change your name to Elric because you thought it would be cool? You are not an Elric never was and never will be you freak! Secondly, I never would let you near me let alone close enough to touch me. I was informed how old you are, why do you like me? You were right about one thing though I AM a grumpy old guy that's usually enough to keep people away! Stop looking at me as some sick love interest damn it!

Ok. You REALLY need to get a life. Who cares if people put Ed in pairings? Yaoi or straight. -personally I perfer yaoi- If you think that you writting this will stop people from makeing fanfics and fanart, then you need help. And for your information. The anime -at least- was pairing Winry and Ed -bleah!- because in the song LASTMEETING sung by the FMA cast including Winry, Al, Ed, Roy, Hughes -I think that's it- The lines are translated at one part to exactly:
Winry: I love you
Ed: I know that you do.
So no you can go off and cry because you're facts aren't straight. So I'm now going to stop wasting my time talking to you. Goodbye. –Envi-Chan

I hate you already because your name is Envy. Even though it's spelled differently it still has the same pronunciation and makes me shudder. For your information child I understand that the anime was pairing Winry with the Ed character, that may I add is just a mere shadow of who I really was. All I have to say about that is good for the anime! Haven't you ever seen a movie that say's 'based on a true story' or 'based on the book'? That means that that's where the general idea came from, it doesn't mean the events that take place in the movie are exactly the way they took place in real life as they were happening or in the book as it was written. They take the rough idea and completely screw with it to their specifications, which is exactly what happened with the manga and anime. I won't deny the fact that Winry said on more than one occasion that she liked me. She never blurted out that she loved me but I had my suspicions. Never once did I say before that she had never said that. I made it very clear to everyone from the beginning though that yes I liked Winry, as a friend nothing more. I've heard that a few songs were written and performed for the voice actors who did the Japanese dub of the show and by Ed replying to Winry saying 'I know that you do' proves not a god damn thing! I don't know what your fucking point was to that but if she said 'I love you' I say ' I know you do' does that translate to me saying 'Oh yeah I'm hot for you'? NO! It doesn't!

I don't even want to touch upon the yaoi part of it. If you like yaoi then your facts aren't straight kid I just wanted to point that out. Did I think that having this posted online would change anything, of course not because like I said before you people are all damn vultures, nothing will deter you from your sick little fantasy worlds.

So now that I've blasted you and want you to know that I think you suck at life, go cry about it to someone who cares and leave me the hell alone!

The honest truth is that this isn't a fanfic so much as a rant. So you like aesexual Ed - awesome! Now go write that. The easiest way to win people over to your point of view is to write a convincing fic about it. –Baka Denshi

Why would you name yourself idiot electron? What the hell is that supposed to mean? It makes no sense and just your name is wasting my time. Congratulations you figured out it isn't a fan fiction what do you want a fucking cookie? You' re absolutely damn right this is a rant because I'm fed up with people pissing me off! That's all anyone's ever wanted to do; let's see what we can say to Edward today to get him nice and ticked off! When you say 'you' I'm guessing your referring to (edited my name out) or as you all know her, Mayuna. Let me tell you; that girl is stone cold fuck nuts! She's ONE of you damn people! The biggest mistake of my life was saying 'Of course I'm the real Edward Elric who else would I be?' When the agency first sent her over which by the way I really don't need someone to take care of me! I'm perfectly capable of doing so myself not that that's anyone's damn business. Anyways back to what I was saying, she is one of you meaning she is a yaoi obsessed insane fan girl. I swear the kid loves to torture me by making these stories where I am absolutely out of my mind, rape people, kill my brother, kill myself or what's worse is that pairing you all call elricest. All I have to say is you all think you're so god damn clever! You only call it that to try and make it sound cute you sick, sick freaks! It's incest! Plain and simple, it makes me nauseated just thinking about what most of you have probably written.

I wasn't trying to 'win' anyone over because like I said, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! Now my question to you is why would you give her any ideas? I'm warning you don't you DARE give her any fucking ideas! She gets enough twisted ideas of her own let alone with encouragement from the rest of you vultures! If she writes a fiction and attempts to base it off of who I really am, I'm coming after you kid! I may be old but my auto-mail fist is still hard as hell. I'm guessing you're a little girl and let me tell you I'll push that fact way into the back of my skull in order to knock you out.

I'm not even going to waste my time anymore with you people. I just want to say this; yeah I'd love for these stories to stop. Why are you all so obsessed with the lives of characters based loosely on who I used to know and the worn out plot of 'Edward saves the day' as if it mattered in the world. You all need to step away from the computers and get on with your lives! Stop making things up about mine!

Edward Elric

P.S. By the way, learn how to fucking spell you vultures!