Commercial 2: Sales This Week at Fool Market
When the Boss put the second tape into the VCR, it was again Nami at the center of the screen, smiling with bright eyes and an enthusiastic demeanor.
"Have you ever felt that the shops you use are too expensive for the prettiest things? Well, now's your chance to get beautiful things for cheaper prices! Come to Fool Market and enjoy more beautiful purchases for lower prices!"
It was just then that Luffy strolled casually onscreen, and Nami's eyes widened in horror of yet another failed attempt.
"Why's it called 'Fool Market'? 'Cause only fools buy stuff from you?"
"No!" Nami hissed, trying to speak quietly enough that the camera didn't catch the sound. But the movements of her mouth were easy enough to read even if the Boss hadn't turned up the volume to maximum. "To keep silly window shoppers away—obviously I'm not the one doing the selling, I'm just advertising! And what are you doing on my commercial? This is the twenty-fifth take! I told you to go to the basement to get that bookcase!"
"But two people need to be carrying it to get it out the door."
Nami rolled her eyes.
"And that's why I sent Zoro with you! Now go!"
"Well…Zoro disappeared. I think he got lost in the attic again."
"The attic! What were you doing in the attic? I told you to get the bookcase from the basement!"
Luffy edged away from his fuming navigator.
"I know…but Zoro thought the stairs that went to the attic led to the basement, and I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen so I went down to the basement to wait, but he didn't come…so I think he got lost in the attic again."
"That retard!" Nami forgot to keep quiet in her panic. "Only he would go up to find a basement and then get lost in an attic that small! Quick! Quick! Go get him before he-"
There was a crack followed by a deafening crash, and the screen filled with rubble and clouds of dust. Something had apparently fallen down from above.
"-falls…through…the…ceiling…again…" Nami finished in vain amidst the rubble and dust.
Zoro straightened out in the pile of fallen rubble.
"Hey, Nami! What're you doing in the basement? I thought you wanted us to get the bookcase?"
Nami was too furious to answer. Smoke was practically coming out of her ears. One could see Luffy's Nami-is-angry-and-dangerous-to-anyone-in-her-vicinity alarm go off as he grabbed Zoro's arm and proceeded to drag him away as fast as he could.
"Come on, Zoro, we're off to the real basement!"
"Oh, this isn't it?" came Zoro's voice offscreen, not distancing fast enough. "No wonder this didn't feel like the basement…"
Onscreen, Nami was gritting her teeth in fury.
"The sale is still on, and I promise that when you come, the ceiling will be fixed, and those two retards will be gone!"
With that said, Nami stomped offscreen in search of the two unfortunate souls who had ruined the twenty-fifth take of her solo commercial.
"This is absolutely useless," said the Boss, glaring at Luffy and Zoro. Not that that did much good, since Zoro was asleep and Luffy was busy munching away at some snack. "Hey! You! No snacks in here!"
Luffy looked up at the Boss in shock for a moment, as though he couldn't believe that anyone would forbid him from eating. But when he saw that the Boss was perfectly serious, he complied—by stuffing all the remaining food into his mouth at once.
The Boss looked absolutely disgusted.
"Anyway," the Boss went on, shooting Luffy one last look of absolute disgust. "This wouldn't attract anyone. Well, maybe people who are attracted to disruption and ceilings falling in, but that's not the sort of person that the owner of this store wants! The owner wants sophisticated people with a sense of humor, and that's not the sort of person that this would attract!"
"Robin," Luffy called to his comrade sitting quietly in the back. "Do you like this commercial?"
"Yes, I think it's quite amusing," Robin replied with a smile.
"See?" Luffy said to the Boss. "Robin's sophisticated with a sense of humor! She likes it!"
"There is a difference," the Boss said, shooting Robin a not-too-friendly glance, "Between finding a commercial amusing and wanting to go to the place advertised."
The Boss's opinion that Robin was a pirate and therefore unfit to determine the quality of the commercial went unsaid, but hung in the air thicker than ever. No one, not even Chopper, missed it.
"Anyway," the Boss hastily went on, noting the glares on all faces except Robin's, "Moving on. There's one in here that I find acceptable enough quality-wise. However, I would like to know how it got in here, since the ones doing the advertising are obviously none of you."
Everyone but Nami looked puzzled.