Commercial 3: Meatball-filled Spaghetti

Indeed, it was none of the Straw Hats that appeared onscreen when the Boss put in the videotape and pressed 'play'.

There stood Captain Smoker and Portgas D. Ace on opposite sides of the room. Smoker looked ready for a fight, his fists billowing white clouds of smoke. Ace, on the other hand, did not even seem to care that a Marine was standing right there, ready to capture him. He was far too intent on shoveling the spaghetti and meatballs on his plate into his mouth.

"So, we meet again," said Smoker, and his entire tone screamed, 'Danger!'.

Ace's only reply, however, was a short, distracted, far-less-than-enthusiastic, "Indeed."

Smoker stared, watching Ace shovel food into his mouth like he was half-starved. Smoker's face was distorted in excruciating disgust.

"You're not as disgusting as your brother, but it's a close one."

Indeed, watching Ace eat was a terribly grotesque sight. The Boss was looking slightly sick, though he had doubtlessly seen it before. The Straw Hats, however, remained unfazed. They were far too used to Luffy's eating habits to be moved by Ace's (marginally better) shoveling.

"I'm not actually usually this bad," said Ace through his mouthful of food as he continued to cram the spaghetti and meatballs into his mouth. "This is good."

"So I see," said Smoker dryly, rolling his eyes. "You're still awake."

"Awake? What?"

Though Ace's tone suggested complete bewilderment, he didn't stop shoveling the food into his mouth.

Smoker gave a disgusted sigh.

"Forget it."

"Gladly," said Ace as he finished up the food on his plate. Then he reached out to the serving plate in front of him, taking another large helping of spaghetti and meatballs. He wasted no time getting back to shoveling the food into his mouth.

It was then that Smoker lost his patience with this enemy who, apparently, wasn't in the mood to fight.

"Can we just get on with the battle?"

Ace didn't bother stopping his cramming to reply, "Nope."

"What do you mean, 'nope'?" demanded an outraged Smoker.

"You and I both know that with you smoke and me fire, nothing'd ever come out of it. Besides, this is too good."

Smoker stared at Ace for a moment. Then he sighed and stomped over to where Ace sat. He was just reaching for the weapon on his back when he halted, staring down at the huge serving plate of spaghetti.

He grabbed a plate, filled it with spaghetti and meatballs, and took a bite.

"This is good," he exclaimed, and engaged himself in cramming his mouth until he was no better than Ace.

"See?" said Ace, muffled through the pieces of spaghetti and meatballs that filled his mouth.

Then an unidentified voice—well, unidentified to the average viewer; easily identified as Nami to the Straw Hats—spoke, covering the disgusting sounds of Smoker and Ace cramming their mouths and eating as much as they could as fast as they could.

"Meatball-filled spaghetti—it even makes you forget your enemies and your enemies forget you!"

Luffy, Chopper, Usopp, and Sanji were in gales of laughter as the screen went blank. Zoro smirked, Robin smiled, and Nami gave a triumphant grin. Franky raised his eyebrows blankly, asking deaf ears who those two people were.

"That's great, Nami!" Chopper said to her. "How did you do that?"

"Remember that day that I said I was sick of you all and stomped off to have lunch on my own? I went to a restaurant, and when I saw Smoker facing Ace and Ace eating the same spaghetti that we were advertising like there was no tomorrow, I just had to use it."

"Anyway!" the Boss said, clearing his throat and drawing everyone's attention back to him. "This is very good. And both White-Hunter Smoker and Fire-Fist Ace are reasonably famous, so this ought to attract attention. The only thing is that if I use this, I'll only be paying you half the worth, since you only did the filming. The rest of the payment would go to White-Hunter Smoker and Fire-Fist Ace, if I ever find them."

Nami's jaw dropped in shock.

"That's dirty!" shouted Usopp. "They didn't even know they were being filmed. It was all Nami's work!"

"She was simply in the right place at the right time," the Boss replied curtly. "That isn't good work—though I admit that her deciding to film the scene was a show of good judgment."

The Straw Hats glared angrily at the Boss.

"If you want the money for this one," the Boss went on, pretending that he wasn't being glared at by a group of fearsome pirates, "You'll have to show me one of your own."

The Straw Hats exchanged a nervous glance.

"Okay," Franky finally replied with a shrug. "But you ought to know—it's far from perfect."