Well, I made a chapter without dividing scenes for once. It was a bitch, but it turned out much much better, methinks.
(Before you read) Japanese culture tidbit: Japanese people shower before entering baths and/or springs as bathwater is often shared (often at the same time).
The Final World, Chapter 7—Out of the Shadows
The red Makai sunset never failed to haunt Mukuro. You couldn't tell where the bloody sun ended and the equally scarlet skies began. The gray clouds absorbing the bloody light and darkening the sky. Most had retreated over the year. Until recently, it wasn't often that Mukuro had seen the sun. Makai still had that dark beauty it was famous for; just a different kind.
She could only imagine the affect it had on Kayko. A human, completely new to the said "dark beauty" this world held, even in this time of change. The demon glanced sidelong at the human woman. She took the time curiously studying the reactions of the young visitor.
Kayko's eyes were wide in awe, fear, reflecting the red light that scattered into the black forest below. Both women stood atop the final rocky hill that divided the ragged wasteland ahead and the forest behind them. They took their time to look back at dusk before heading into the border of what once was Lord Raizen's territory.
"Let's move." Mukuro turned back to the unmarked path, as her travel companion took one last glance at the setting sun. It was so different from anything she had ever seen. And yet...it reminded her of that evening almost two years ago. Yusuke had come home, finally, she embraced him. That was the happiest moment of her life. After all these adventures, heartbreak, deceit, drama, finally a reunion. As romantic as that sounds, it was hardly a fairytale ending.
Yusuke wanted to fight, that being his very passion in life. But he would rather be with Kayko...or so she thought. She wasn't sure which he loved more; there were so many times he left her guessing. Yet it didn't matter. She loved him, and she wanted him to be happy. That's what married people want, right? But there were so many times Kayko wondered if she would ever hold Yusuke again, throw her arms around his neck, relieved that he was okay. This was one of those times.
Yusuke, she prayed for the millionth time, please...please be okay. Kayko stared into the diamond around her finger. Diamonds were the symbol of true love, because they lasted forever. She would love him forever, and that gift meant he would love her forever. He just had some distractions, like saving the world for instance. One day, this would all be over and they could finally enjoy their marriage. They would make it, somehow. Kayko laughed bitterly. Dream on... She and Yusuke were both tempting fate, as they had been for the last four years of their lives.
She sighed with one last look at the sun and slowly followed Mukuro into valley after hill after valley, as if she was sinking and bobbing into a vast black ocean of trees. One particularly steep valley brought with it a pleasant surprise.
"What luck!" Kayko smiled at the steam rising from below. The water then condensed and clung to the black pine needles of the trees, who vainly tried to hide this luxury. "A hot spring!" She removed her shoes, set them on the boulder, and searched for a place to wash herself before relaxing in this bubbling haven.
"Forget washing," Mukuro called after her, "there wouldn't be a shower within miles, anyhow." She wanted to keep on moving. But how could she until she knew how to find Hiei or this strange new dragon, much less what to do to survive the supposed encounter. All she could do was wait, and think.
"I guess you're right." Kayko stared at the waters and slowly made her way down towards them. "Not very many have been here, anyway, it seems." Once she had navigated through the steep rocks, she stepped from her hakama and removed her kimono.
Mukuro stared long and hard at the young woman below. Kayko's body was taintless, beautiful, pure. Unmarked. And she, Mukuro, had never before felt so filthy.
"What is it?" Kayko slipped into the water and called up to Mukuro. "Are you going to wash up?"
Mukuro modestly stepped back, shaking her head. She had just about never seen another woman's body. This sudden comparison put her own to shame as she discovered womankind's one great shortcoming: vanity.
She never looked close, but she figured she looked hideous. Had she ever looked into a mirror that hard? Passing around the sunken clearing, she spotted a tiny pond of spring water, the source spilling in from above. Mukuro ripped the veil from the right side of her face, staring hard at it. The flesh on her face was all but melted away at one side. Her darkened burnt skin, ridged, sunken. Her lidless staring eye. She pulled down her shirt. Her body was just the same. One breast was almost completely melted away, bits and pieces missing from the other. A machine overlapped her fleshless shoulder. Her limbs had been completely scorched away where the acid had greedily ate down to her bones.
Mukuro shamefully covered herself. Why must she pay this price?
She had actually shown this to Hiei. She left her own body to his judgement. What did he think of it? But...why would he care? Why did it matter? She did what she did, because she had to. To preserve whatever dignity she had left as a slave to her own father.
"Mukuro...are you okay?" Kayko stood behind her, fully clothed. How long had she been there? In response to Mukuro's silence, Kayko stared at the ground. "How did it happen?" She finally asked.
Mukuro needn't ask what Kayko meant. She had seen her, and Mukuro had never felt so humiliated.
The former demon lord glanced back at the human. She sighed and turned away. Mukuro wasn't about to give away something so personal, but Kayko deserved an answer. "I brought it upon myself." She simply answered.
And Kayko asked no further. She stood in her place, silent and uneasy at this predicament. She could hardly imagine the life of a demon; to be honest, she never really thoght about it. This was silly. Yukina, Kurama, Hiei, they were demons, and her friends. She often forgot that they were demon. Even Yusuke! Why hadn't she thought of that?
Demons tend to like to fight more, usually. She knew it wasn't always true, but it just came more natural than for humans. Many of them lived for so long that it would be hard for them to have strong relationships. In fact, if Yusuke was such a powerful S-class demon, chances are he would outlive her by a very long time.
Kayko's eyes glassed over. There was no way it could turn out as a happy ending. She would age, while Yusuke would stay young. Kayko knew she shouldn't worry about it so soon, but she was the type to fret ahead of schedule over everything. College, family, and all these stupid things most humans don't have to worry about.
But who knows? A silent tear rolled down her cheek as Mukuro stared inquisitively at her. With all these dangerous close calls, maybe he won't be the one outliving me after all... Kayko bowed her head, wiping tears on her sleeve.
Overhead
Around the world,
Golden is the day
Princess of the universe
Your burden is the way.
So there is a better time
We'll be born today
A gypsy child at daybreak
A king for a day
Out of the shadows
And into the sun
Dreams of the past
As the old ways are done
Oh, there is beauty
And surely there is pain
But we must endure it
To live again
--Iron Maiden, "Out of the Shadows"
No, this is not yuri-slash (But now that you mention it...evil grin ...it'd be intriguing...dirty girl thoughts) ahem now for Tiemiosho's fanfic grading system thingamabob. Reviews are great, but I wish it'd tell me more. So I devised a 5-Point system that's fairly simple. Each category is rated 1-10 (10 is highest).
Theme--Is the storyline original? Do the events seem to have meaning so far? Do the conflicts suit the specific characters who face them?
Plot--Is it organized well? Does the events make sense? Do I keep within the same time frame or do I jump forward and backwards constantly?
Canon--Basically, are they in-character?
OCs--How original are they? Do they fit in to the story to help move the plot along?
Style--Is this story fun to read? Is the wording easy to understand and are you as a reader gripped and feel like you're witnessing the story instead of reading about it? BTW, how's my grammar?
Just list the categories in ur review and rate 1-10, like I said before. I'll be even happier if you elaborate on why, but it's OK. I hate explaining my answers too.