Chapter 7: The calm before the switch

The universe is a very chaotic place. Unless you take everything with a grain of salt, you might as well go bananas. Enjoy while you can, I say.

-Ranko

- - -

The first thing that registered in his mind was pain. Not focused at some particular point but rather a more abstract definition of pain. He welcomed it with a mental sigh of relief. Last time he had lost touch with reality he wasn't sure he would wake up again and pain meant he was still alive. Slowly, as he gained in awareness, he managed to pinpoint the pain at his torso. He also started regaining his senses. He first heard the sound of his own breathing, then caught many of the ambient inconsequential ones. Wind blowing steadily, a lone bird singing, a distant engine sputtering, the sound of a pencil running on paper.

Pantyhose Taro opened his eyes slowly, allowing himself enough time to get used to light, then tilted his head to the side.

"Oh, you are awake" noted Nabiki, letting down her notebook and pencil and coming to kneel next to his prone form. "Dr. Tofu said you'll need to stay put for a day or two. Whatever got you, got you good."

Taro attempted to move but soon gave up as pain spiked in his mind. "How long was I out?" he asked in a hollow voice, gratefully accepting a glass of water from the middle Tendo.

"Almost five hours. You were lucky Ranma found you when he did. You were literally spilling your guts all over Nerima. Don't worry about spending my time, I'm putting the standard nurse fee on your tab" she added, forestalling an argument she could tell was coming.

Taro blinked twice, a pained smirk touching his lips. "How becoming of you, Tendo. Shows who the breadwinner in this house is."

Nabiki smirked back. "Call me Nabiki, Taro. I always try to be on first name bases with my clients. You'll need more than flattery to get a discount, though."

"I have many services I could provide, Nabiki. As soon as I get on my feet, I'll be more than happy to show you."

If the innuendo embarrassed her, she refused to show it. "Oh, I'm sure you could offer a lot of things Taro. I might take your offer and accept some physical aspects of your services in the future" she retaliated and this time Taro did become a bit uncomfortable. Smiling at her small victory, she went on. "For now, however, I'm more interested in information. Starting with what the hell managed to take you out like that."

Taro frowned a bit, debating how much to reveal to the mercenary before him. "Just a scuffle with some friends. Nothing to worry your pretty head over" he replied at length.

The sharklike grin featured on the middle Tendo's face caused him to involuntary shiver. "Unfortunately for you, Taro, your little 'scuffle' became part of the local news. In fact, that video showed me just how much you and your 'friends' are alike when wet."

Taro regained his composure in less than a minute. "I'll be ready for them next time" he spat, mostly angry with himself.

Nabiki sighed theatrically. "Perhaps a boon will loose those cute lips of yours, then" she countered, revealing a plate of hot and nice-smelling soup. "Nothing personal, of course" she added as Taro frowned.

The Chinese martial artist realized just how hungry he felt and almost decided to take the offer. He still had one card to play, though. "I thought food was included in my rent, Nabiki. Are you going to back out of our deal?" he asked inquisitively, his eyes critical.

Nabiki bowed her head once, yet kept smiling. "I am appalled you would consider I would do something like that. Forfeiting a deal I made would be ludicrous" she declared with mock passion. "But you misunderstood, Taro. The food, as you noted, is yours. You can take it any time. What I'm offering is the privilege to be fed by a desirable girl like me. Seeing as you can hardly move, I thought you would take my generous proposition."

Taro tried once more to stir then gave up. He knew when he was overmatched. Checkmate indeed. "Very well. I'll take you 'generous' offer" he replied with a fair amount of sarcasm.

Nabiki managed to conceal how happy she felt. It was almost a vice for her, treating injured martial artists that were normally much more powerful than her, then charging them for all they worth. Even beyond the money, she loved having such power over people who could otherwise break her bones without even trying. It made her feel in control, however immoral she knew it was. A pity Ranma healed so fast and usually had Akane to care for him...

"Very well, Taro" she agreed, gently bringing a filled spoon to his lips. "Let's get to business."

- - -

Mousse sighed as he felt his way back to his room. It was hardly ten in the morning and he had already managed to spill food on his clothes. Sighing, he swallowed his pride and slid his glasses down from his forehead. The world around him turned into something a bit more coherent than a blur. As he rummaged through his hidden weapon space for another outfit, he wished he could develop his chi to the levels Ranma had achieved. Maybe then he could keep his chi senses up for more than a few minutes per day.

Maybe then Shampoo would notice him a bit more.

Sighing again, he quickly changed, wanting to return downstairs. Shampoo was out on deliveries and the old ghoul had been insufferable these last weeks. Mousse was not an idiot. He knew the elder was fishing for information regarding their 'excursion' to China. She didn't ask outright, though, so he kept his promise to his beloved and revealed as less as he could.

Suddenly he stopped cold just outside Shampoo's room, his keen hearing catching a noise he could not place coming from within. He decided to investigate. If it was a rat, he had to get rid of it before Shampoo could come back. Last time his beloved encountered a rat while in cat form, it hadn't been pretty. Seeing her spend another week vomiting and skulking was not high in his priority list either.

Slowly opening the door, he extended his senses, scanning the area for lifeforms of any kind. Instead, he felt the very familiar traces of magic from further inside the room. His curiosity compounded, he slipped in and tried to enhance his ailing vision. He slowly reached for one of the chairs and removed the wool mattress covering it. Amidst the chair's legs he saw it, a full collection of alchemical equipment, currently in the process of distilling some magical concoction. A half-completed potion, he realized.

It should be noted that while Mousse is a male and as such considered inferior in the Amazon culture, he is nothing like the stereotypic submissive male of his tribe. So far he had managed to conceal a lot of his knowledge from 'elder' Cologne, much of it regarding his own, quite formidable knowledge of potion-making.

Mousse, of course, knew for whom this potion was intended and also knew about Cologne's explicit orders. It would be simple to stop this new plan of his beloved, but would also only serve to cause her to hate him for it. Instead, he hastily reached in his subspace, recovering another alchemical kit and quickly brewing a potion of his own. He wouldn't even try to divine the precise nature of Shampoo's mixture, but a general yet extremely potent nullifier would do.

Mousse left Shampoo's room a few minutes later, whistling and apparently happy with himself.

"What were you doing in Xian Pu's room, boy?"

The hidden weapon master turned to the voice's general direction and almost gulped. Not being able to see Cologne's inquisitive glare was something he was grateful for. Even feeling it on him made him uneasy.

"I thought I felt a rat and had to investigate" he replied truthfully and the amazon elder seemed to accept that. She also had bad memories from the time her granddaughter's feline instincts took over. Contrary to common belief, elders are not necessarily devoid of guilt; they can just keep it at bay easier.

"If you are done then let's hurry back down mister Part-timer. The restaurant will not run by itself."

- - -

Akane opened her double bento and, sitting under her favorite tree, dug in with gusto. At first she had been appalled when her appetite started rivaling Ranma's. Akane had always been heavier than children of her age and even though she intellectually knew it was due to her training, she had always felt self-conscious about her weight. She had even visited Dr. Tofu for advice a week before. She was ecstatic when the good doctor congratulated her for starting to seriously train. The chiropractor had noticed her progress almost immediately and had warned her to never try and resist her appetite. She was finally convinced to follow that advice when he noted how she had finally gotten rid of the last traces of excess baby fat.

Stealing a glance towards a large cluster of boys from her class, she noted her fiancé. The rest of his classmates had almost kidnapped him, talking about showing him something interesting. Judging from the many glassy-eyed individuals, it involved naughty magazines of some kind. Akane noticed that while Ranma would throw a glance or two towards the cluster's center, he seemed genially bored and anxious to find an excuse to bolt. He would even look towards her direction occasionally.

"Why would he be interested?" she muttered almost bitterly. "He has a flock of gorgeous girls throwing themselves at him plus a female body of his own."

Akane knew Ranma was not the pervert she accused him to be. Even though she would usually call him like that as loud as she could, she was very often trying to cover her own... inappropriate thoughts. At first she was furious when her fiancée would try and sneak in her room at nights. After deciding to play along and pretend to be sleeping, though, she had been merely puzzled. Sometimes he would come in carrying a kettle of warm water even though he was in male form. He would scan the room for a second or two, then leave. Akane wondered if he was afraid Shampoo had sneaked in, but remembering his... condition with cats, she had dismissed the notion.

Other times he would just grab P-chan and toss him out of the window. She had been tempted to drop the facade and belt him then and there, but she had then noticed he was doing his best not to hurt the tiny piglet. Akane knew there was something more in that story but for the life of her, she couldn't figure it out.

And other times Ranma would simply creep in, sit on the floor and watch her sleep for as long as a full hour. At first she had found it stupid, but later she thought it was flattering. It was times like that when she felt her hopes rising. He might feel something more than friendship or obligation, otherwise he wouldn't do that, her mind would shout.

At least she was almost certain they were friends. Others would only remember the times they argued or the times she would send him for an overview of Nerima, but she knew better. When nobody was trying to push them together or pull them apart and when there was no challenge, bet or their stupid pride involved, they would get along just fine. Studying together, walking together or just making idle talk. It would never count as a date of course. It's not a date when you spend time with the person you love, walking, eating and enjoying their company. Not a date at all.

Right?

Akane sighed. Before she could contemplate how more difficult than advertised self-delusion is, she heard a noise she could not place. It sounded like... a snore.

It was then she decided to listen to her instincts that were telling her someone was spying on her. Rising on her feet, she turned and delivered a kick on the tree's trunk, hard enough to cause the whole thing to shudder. A body fell from the higher branches with a yelp and crashed just next to her.

"Konatsu? What are you doing here?" she asked startled, just as the effeminate ninja collected himself from the ground and pushed the last traces of sleep off his eyes.

"A thousand apologies, mistress Akane" he exclaimed bowing. "I didn't mean to alert you but I fell asleep without meaning to."

She sighed, trying hard to remind herself that the extremely cute girl before her was in reality a guy. Sitting back down, she patted the space next to her. "Since you are here, you might as well keep me company."

Konatsu seemed ecstatic. "I wouldn't want to impose but it would be my pleasure" he responded happily.

As soon as he made himself comfortable, Akane decided to cut to the chase. "So, why are you here and not with Ukyo?" she asked, regretting it immediately when the male kunoichi turned solemn.

"Mistress Ukyo told me to leave for today. She made it... very clear that she wanted to remain alone. Apart from her, you and master Ranma I really don't know anyone else, so..."

Akane patted him compassionately. It was common knowledge Konatsu had feelings for Ukyo, although the gender-confused ninja knew no way to actually express himself. "What set her off this time?" she asked, more than a little curious. Ever since the failed wedding, she had only seen the Kuonji girl twice and even then from a distance. Akane found it hard to hold a grudge concerning exploding okonomiyaki, despite her resolve to do so.

Konatsu sighed. "Mistress Ukyo has been edgy ever since... that event. But from what I understand she tried to reconcile with master Ranma yesterday and was rebuffed. When she returned she was wailing... unflattering things for everybody she knows, including herself. I could do nothing to calm her down" he answered sorrowfully.

Akane felt guilty. She wanted to feel sorry for her rival because she knew Ukyo was not really a bad person even though rather impulsive at times. Instead she felt guilty satisfaction that Ranma had rejected the female chef. While she could see Ranma would rarely spend time voluntarily with Shampoo or Kodachi, Ukyo was another matter altogether. She knew very well that for Ranma, Ukyo was a good friend and she felt rather threatened by the fact.

"You should try to make more friends, Konatsu" she advised, eager to cheer him up. "If you keep glued to Ukyo like that, she will just take you for granted." The irony of the situation was not lost to Akane as she wondered since when she was qualified to give advice concerning matters of the heart.

The male kunoichi seemed to contemplate that. "I'm not sure how to do that..." he said at length, quite a bit sheepishly.

Akane sighed, then smiled. "You are already doing it. Next time you come to find Ranma, or me don't stay hidden. We won't always be willing to talk, but if you need us we will be here. And you will always be welcome to our home. Kasumi is always happy to have another mouth to feed. You could even help me and Ranma train."

The Tendo girl gawked as Konatsu's eyes turned to stars. She raised a brow when he produced a microphone from thin air. "Is this happiness?" he exclaimed loud enough to be heard in all Furinkan. "It feels like a sunny day in my soul. What did I ever do right to receive such a wonderful proposition? If only I wasn't so shy, I would accept gladly. Oh joyous day!"

Akane regarded him with half-lidded eyes. "That was touching and all, Konatsu, but you might want to be a bit more discreet next time. My ears are ringing..."

- - -

Ryouga sighed in relief. He had finally lost his pursuer and he couldn't be happier about it. At first he had been glad to meet a real princess, even though he almost got a nosebleed when he noticed she was dressed to sleep. He started worrying when she demanded to 'get off his lazy ass and kill the horrible black dragon that kept a pure and innocent maiden like her imprisoned.' As far as Ryouga was concerned, she was scarier than the poor beast. When he had hesitated to help, she started chasing him with a sword, actually kicking the dragon off her way as it tried to stop her.

Now that he was safe, he only needed to figure where on earth he was. Then he could try to find Ranma and pay him back. That rabid princess was obviously Ranma's fault, after all. He squirmed around in the dark a bit, touching what seemed to be silk and feeling glad it was not sticky. He hated it every time he was caught in a giant spider's web. At long last, he felt one of the walls of his prison give and he stumbled out of the closet.

A closet filled with female clothes, he noted embarrassed. Clumsily, he spun away, his backpack knocking down a chair. His eyes went wide as he noticed what seemed to him like a mini chemistry lab hidden underneath. Furthermore, his interference had knocked away some of the vials and pouches that used to lie around what seemed like an intricate alembic. He summarily panicked, knowing from experience that messing with such projects could only lead him to trouble. Franticly trying to rearrange everything underneath the chair once again, he went pale as one of the pouches opened and released a tiny amount of white powder in one of the mini-cauldrons. Avoiding the heart-attack and the urge to yelp, he hurried to secure the pouch's string and tried to evacuate the immediate area.

Cologne felt a strong sense of deja vu as she spoke. "What were you doing in Xian Pu's room, boy?" she asked, resisting the urge to cackle.

Ryouga, who had just been glad to find the door, almost leaped to the ceiling. "Cologne?" he asked incredulously. "What are doing in Oz?"

The Amazon elder sighed as her staff cracked on the boy's skull. She marveled at how much chi she had to use to bypass Ryouga's shields. Like Ranma, the lost boy had grown a lot in power. "You are in Nerima again, foolish boy" she commented as he rubbed at his new bump.

Ryouga frowned. It had taken him two weeks to find Nerima again and that was a lot even for him. "I'll be leaving now..." he muttered, growing quite a bit depressed.

About three hours later, he finally exited the Nekohanten, almost bumping on a giddy-looking Shampoo that tried to enter. She had every reason to be happy after all. Her potion should be ready by now...

- - -

15-03-07: After the subtle foreshadowing in this chapter, I hope you'll expect the next one eagerly. For anime-only readers, Konatsu is Ukyo's pet ninja from the manga. His life before was very much like Cinderella's and he thought he was a girl until Ukyo, Akane and Ranma saved him from his stepfamily. He is working as a waitress in Ucchan's for 10 yen per week and he is actually powerful, right up there in Mousse's and Ryouga's league.

I want to thank all reviewers for their time and remember:

Nabiki's friendship. Worth: 500000 yen. A review or ten. Worth: priceless.