Chapter 8: Effects effectively applied
The lines of power passing through Nerima are an awe-inspiring sight indeed. We should find a way to claim part of that particular location, as its value is only comparable to the power value of its inhabitants.
-Memoirs of prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty.
- - -
"This will be your last mistake, old pervert!" exclaimed a very wet, very female and not nearly that angry Ranma as she chased the grandmaster of her school from rooftop to rooftop. Happosai, carrying his trademark loot sack full with Furinkan's female team gym shorts, kept running around in circles, trying to lose his pursuers.
"Is that the way you repay me for offering you a glass of fresh water, Ranma? Kids these days..." he exclaimed, having to bounce around like a flea on speed to avoid his heir's frantic attacks. The boy-currently girl- was coming along fine and even if he rarely had the chance to officially train her, having her to run around like that was good exercise for both of them. The gym shorts were precious, too.
Behind them, Akane was running at street level, trying very hard to keep up and actually gaining a bit as the two martial artists were fighting as much as they ran. The mob of angry female athletes that followed her was falling back fast, almost having exhausted their stamina. They stopped altogether as the heir to the Tendo Ryu executed an unreal leap, landing on the same rooftop Ranma and the old master fought on.
Yuka collapsed on her knees, panting for air. "It's not fair, none of the three is even winded and we have been at it for ten minutes already. What are they running on?"
Sayuri would have chuckled if she had not been busy breathing for all she was worth. "That's the Anything-goes for you. Actually, I'm almost enjoying this. Ever since we started chasing the old pervert, my records at P.E. keep rising. I'll bet anything this is just a form of training for them."
"No kidding" panted Yuka, wiping sweat from her forehead. "We should really tell Akane to be more careful when she power-jumps like that while wearing a skirt though. Anybody below and behind her sure get a show."
Back on the roof, things were getting rather interesting as Happosai had to dodge some swift and very accurate mallet swings in addition to Ranma's casual onslaught. "You've been doing a great job training Akane-chan, boy" he commented as he barely dodged a flurry of Amaguriken level jabs. He tried to jump-glomp Akane for a quick power-up and predicted she will try to use her mallet at him, so he first feinted to the left, then dove from her right. Akane smirked as she brought her weapon down hard. Instead of aiming directly at the old pervert like she would have done weeks before, she smashed the concrete before her feet, launching a hail of tiny, very fast chunks that showered him and stopped his charge.
"Didn't expect that, did you?" stated Akane, beaming with enough pride to bloat the sun. Never let it be said that modesty is one of younger Tendo's consistent traits.
Happosai smirked, noticing his two students' faces mirrored the expression. Time for a real test. "However, I'm really disappointed you two have yet to get it on. I assure you that after the first time you'll be at it like rabbits."
That had an effect, although not as severe as he expected. The two teens glanced at each other for a moment, blushed a bit, then returned their eyes on their target and charged. Happosai leaped away, his eyes going wide when a tiny chi blast, curtsy of Ranma, ruined his next foothold. Stumbling, he saw a mallet strike coming and had to move very fast, grabbing the edge of the swinging weapon and flipping above it before it could connect.
He landed behind them, deciding to finish the session when they both performed an artistic about face. "Of course, there's still hope for you, m'boy. Shampoo-chan seemed to like the kiss you gave her this morning."
That had a real effect. Akane's face went from shock to panic to anger very fast. Her eyes burning, she turned and stared at her fiancée that was currently ashen pale and was trying to form placating gestures. "Ranma!" she growled.
They both blinked as something blurred between them, then Akane kicked Happosai hard enough to launch him to orbit, right before noticing an unfamiliar cold draft at her legs. She developed a full body blush as she realized she had lost an essential piece of clothing to the old pervert, a pervert that was heard cackling in the distance.
Ranma, on the other hand, had to tilt her head to the side to miss the flying master. Her eyes went wide when her fiancée's high kick gave her a very brief view of the place said stolen garment used to occupy. Turning to the side, cheeks burning brightly, she for once thanked the gods for her curse. Not only being intimate with the female body prevented her from getting a major nosebleed, it also served to hide how happy her body felt in a physical sense.
Akane, realizing the folly of high kicks after her loss, was by then embarrassed enough to serve as an airport beckon, especially after seeing Ranma's reaction. "Pervert" she muttered at her, looking away while holding her skirt down, a rather pointless gesture at the moment.
"It was your own damn fault, you uncute tomboy. Letting your guard down like that" she responded wearily, still too embarrassed to look at her. Her mind was busy replaying the scene and chanting rather flattering things about Akane.
That served to bring anger back. "I wouldn't have if you didn't fool around with that amazon!" she shot back, growing enraged.
Ranma also fumed enough to override the previous moment's awkwardness. "I didn't go anywhere near Shampoo today, you idiot. The old freak played you for a fool."
Akane seemed to grow uncertain. "You... you didn't?" she asked, biting her lip.
The redhead threw her hands in the air in a 'why me' gesture. "You wouldn't know. I was only constantly within your vision ever since I woke up in this morning" she exclaimed exasperated, turning away and jumping off the roof.
Akane followed after making absolutely sure she was holding her skirt down really tight and there was no one underneath. Ranma was slowly heading for the Tendo estate, muttering constantly and too low to be heard, but she could guess the gist of it. After minutes without change, she decided to swallow her pride.
"Why are you so mad with me?" she asked, quite a bit nervously.
Ranma frowned. "Why would I be mad with an uncute tomboy like you?" she asked back, trying to sound bored and indifferent and failing miserably.
Akane let a deep sigh. She was aware Ranma was trying to make her angry to avoid the question and she would have none of it. "Please talk to me, Ranma" she pleaded, almost desperately. "I want to know the truth."
Wouldn't you be surprised to know the truth... Like 'you know 'Kane I want your everlasting love and I'm often lusting after your body.' As if I'd ever manage to say that. Would she laugh, faint or mallet me, I wonder. "I don't know what you're asking 'Kane" she denied, though with little fervor.
"Please..."
It sounded too unlike Akane, she decided. Letting a deep sigh, she stopped walking and turned to face her. Her pout was damn adorable, too. "The reason I'm mad at you is because you just don't trust me!" she exclaimed despite trying to hide her emotions.
Akane was stunned, her eyes uncertain and locked on her. "That's not true. I trust you to teach me. I'd trust you with my life. I have already done that so many times and you are always there for me when it counts."
"Last time it was barely enough" she whispered and Akane winced. They had only fleetingly mentioned the battle with Saffron, never attempting to actually talk about it. Before Akane could respond, Ranma shook her head as if to clear her mind and went on. "What I mean is that you always think the worst of me. Be it Nabiki, Ukyo, Shampoo or even Happosai, you'll sooner believe them than give me the benefit of the doubt."
Akane blushed. "I guess I have seen you in many... compromising situations" she noted guiltily. "With your kind of luck it's inevitable, I fear."
"You should at least try" sneered Ranma. "Unless you want to make a habit of flashing people like that" she added, although she regretted it instantly. Akane was already glowing a dark red.
"Well, excuse me for not being enough to turn you on!" she shouted, punching a hole at the wall Ranma was walking on and forcing her to leap down to street level as a whole section collapsed.
"That's what you think!" she shouted back, a second before her own hand snapped to cover her wayward mouth.
Akane's anger wouldn't have evaporated faster if she had mastered the Soul of Ice. "You... you really meant that?" she asked, her eyes wide as she slowly approached her currently female fiancée.
Ranma was beginning to panic, seeing as Akane had entered her extremely cute mode that would readily fry his mind. Almost paralyzed before her currently huge and apparently sparkling brown eyes, she took a step back, her back encountering a wall. "I.. um, that is... you see..." she tried unintelligently.
Akane knew at an intellectual level that they were both girls at the moment, that her face was currently way too close to Ranma, that Ranma's words were far from an admission of love and that her fiancée would freak out if she kept being so forward anyway. She also didn't give a damn at that point. She would kiss Ranma this time. Before she lost her sudden courage and before someone could interrupt them like so many other times, she would...
'Ring-ring!'
- - -
She outdid herself this time, she decided after tasting her ramen. While Shampoo regarded cooking as merely a hobby, she was still proud to be so good at it. She quickly prepared two bowls, then checked around to make sure nobody was watching. Producing a tiny vial she spilled half of its contents to each bowl. She decided against drinking her own portion yet, in case the effects ended before she could spot Ranma. She also made sure her extra vial was safely hidden in her weapon space. After all, she knew how bad luck could get in Nerima.
At least she thought she knew.
Quickly securing each bowl with a lid, she placed them in a delivery box and jumped on her bike. Riding a bicycle from rooftop to rooftop was an art by itself and by now Shampoo had it mastered. Hardly thinking about her path, she followed an almost straight line towards the Tendo estate. What she did not expect was encountering Ranma on her way and away from his normal route.
In girl form.
Leaning on a wall.
With the thrice damned kitchen destroyer entirely too close.
How dare she do that with my husband, she thought furiously, letting a sigh as she remembered Ranma had never acknowledged their marriage that was thus hollow. Still, she couldn't let what was going on below keep on. Ringing her bell, she leaped in the air, aiming for Akane's head with her front wheel.
- - -
Akane muttered a curse usually encountered in dock bars at Friday nights as both she and Ranma leaped out of the way to avoid Shampoo's bike from hell. She was angry, furious, totally enraged. The moment had yet again been ruined. Perhaps she should just ambush every meddle one night and tie them to their beds. Then she could kidnap Ranma and hide in some abandoned mine. That should get them a couple minutes. Breathing heavily, she managed to hide her mood behind a frown severe enough to spoil milk.
Ranma felt both angry and relieved. She wasn't sure if Akane was ready to actually kiss her or exclaim a 'gotcha' and poke her at the nose. Ranma, who was so very proficient reading her opponents, decided she would never figure the other girl. She winced at Akane's frown. Perhaps she was going to kiss her. Driving that thought away, she turned to regard Shampoo. It was never good to let your guard down around the amazon and she had to make sure her displeasure about Shampoo's attitude in Phoenix Mountain was properly expressed without endangering Akane's safety.
"Nihao airen" exclaimed the amazon bubbly, even though she was still seething inside. "Xian Pu brought you too too wonderful ramen. No want you to starve because of too too nasty cooking."
Ranma regarded the food wearily. "It wouldn't happen to have any 'special' ingredients, would it?"
Shampoo held back a frown. She had anticipated that after all. "Xian Pu promise no love potions or mushrooms in this time." It was true, after all. After the red thread fiasco it had taken a long time for Ranma to warm up to her again. A mental communication potion was much tamer in comparison. "Xian Pu even brought two bowls. Ranma choose one and Xian Pu eats other first."
Ranma was apparently convinced, as she went to reach for a bowl. Akane that stopped him apparently was not. "What if it is a love potion and she has taken the antidote?" she asked, not bothering to hide her mistrust. "Perhaps I should eat the second bowl. That is, unless there is actually something in it Shampoo doesn't want me to eat" she added, now smirking.
The amazon frowned. This was not going according to the plan. Before conjuring a way to stop Akane, Ranma did it for her.
"But what if it is some kind of poison, Akane? Perhaps she knew you were going to suggest that."
Shampoo was torn between feeling happy her airen thought she could be so smart and angry Ranma would think she would try something that devious. She was also angry she hadn't thought that before...
Akane frowned. "Oh, come on. Shampoo would never risk poisoning you like that. Other times you would just grab the bowl and clean it in seconds."
Her fiancée smirked cockily. "So what? I have developed a huge tolerance to poison ever since I came in Nerima. It could kill you and only make me sick for a day or two."
"What's that supposed to mean?" she exclaimed dangerously.
At that point, Shampoo was getting annoyed at being ignored like that. She knew from experience that it was not healthy to get between the couple while they were bickering, since the usual collateral damage was largely targeted at random.
"Xian Pu thinks..." she started, but was interrupted by her airen.
"Well think about it" retaliated the redhead with a gleeful expression hardly fitting her cute features. "Between Kodachi's powders, Shampoo's crazy herbs and your toxic attempts one would need a damn potent poison to get me."
If Akane had been holding a rock, it would have been reduced to powder by now. "You don't have to remind me how bad a cook I am!" she shouted defiantly. "Besides I haven't tried to give you any of my food for ages."
Ranma scowled, crossing her hands under her bosom. "I can't express how happy I am for that fact."
"Airen should..."
By that point Akane was feeling pretty vindictive. "Oh yeah? Perhaps I should start again. Practice makes perfect, they say" she declared, smiling wickedly.
Her fiancée frowned. "Threatening me will get you nowhere, you should know" she replied defensively.
"Pervert kitchen destroyer will..."
Akane smirked at that. "Who said anything about feeding you? Next time Ryouga comes by I'll make sure to fix him a snack."
"You leave pig-brain out of this, you hear me?" snapped Ranma annoyed.
"Oh, what's the matter? Could it be that you are jealous Ranma?" she asked mirthfully. Akane was aware that her fiancée was frequently victim to the green-eyed monster of jealousy. Like herself, Ranma just couldn't help it.
The pig-tailed girl laughed loudly, although it sounded decidedly fake. "Why would I be jealous of who you poison, tomboy? It's just that I wouldn't wish such punishment even on my worst enemy."
"Ayiah! You two too too..."
"Sure you wouldn't. You should remember you are not a good liar Ranma" she said smugly.
"Is that so? A certain uncute fiancée of mine seems to frequently think otherwise."
"Don't flatter yourself. I have better things to do than constantly think about you."
"You mean you can actually help not to? My heart will be forever scarred."
"Then you'll have to deal with it, mister big-shot."
"Oh yeah?"
"But airen! Xian..."
"Yeah! What are you going to do about that? Beat me up?"
"That's usually the job of violent tomboys."
"Perhaps you can't take it anymore then. What happened to the best martial artist shtick?"
"Feh! I could take whatever you throw at me any day."
"Oh yeah?"
"Hell yeah!"
By that point, Akane and Ranma were both leaning forward, their noses almost touching. If Shampoo weren't at that point nigh homicidally enraged at being ignored like that, she would have thought they were about to kiss each other. It wouldn't be far from the truth either, although none of the two martial artists involved knew that. Despite the harsh words, they were privately enjoying their little game, although one wouldn't catch them dead admitting as much.
"LISTEN TO XIAN PU!!"
The indigent cry interrupted the staring contest between Ranma and Akane and caused them to snap their laser-like glares at the amazon. After all, they were enjoying having an excuse to look at each other's eyes too much.
"WHAT?" they demanded in unison. Shampoo resisted the urge to gulp and took a deep breath. At long last she had their attention and would get Ranma to eat her ramen. Nothing could go wrong anymore.
'O-ho-ho-ho-ho'
- - -
Kodachi Kuno was not nearly as delusional as most of Nerima's residents would think. Unlike Ranma's other suitors, she knew very well that the pig-tailed martial artist barely tolerated her and had even admitted that to him during the white Lily incident. No, Kodachi knew she had no chance with Ranma.
Yet, Ranma had been the only one to ever treat her nicely, not because of her money or status but simply for the sake of being nice. And even after that he would rarely become angry or ignore her. For the younger Kuno, that was more than she ever had in her life. In a twisted way, she thought of Ranma as a friend. She would become his girlfriend any day, but it was pretty obvious he was infatuated with the Tendo girl.
Still, even negative attention was enough for Kodachi, who had grown up to be so lonely. It was really all a big funny prank for her, even though her methods were quite heavy-handed. Of course, if she ever managed to gain his affection, she would hardly complain.
Following Ranma's distinct magic signature, Kodachi quickly pinpointed him, currently her. The Kuno family had an uncanny gift for seeing the unseen. That was the main reason her brother would call Ranma a sorcerer and accuse him of casting spells on his 'pig-tailed goddess'. Kodachi, more versed in the magical world then her brother and more receptive of reality, had suspected the truth. Hiring a couple detectives and idly asking around made her accept the facts her brother would ardently dismiss. Ranma had an advanced polymorph curse that turned him into the redhead.
While Kodachi had been shocked at first, she soon realized the possibilities attached to such a curse. The Kuno girl loved experimenting. The ball bomb she was currently holding, for example, contained a tear-inducing poison extracted from one of her greenhouse's rare plants, along with a special agent that would turn it from liquid to breathable gas.
The bomb went flying and she started her trademark laugh just before it exploded in one of the ramen bowls held by the Chinese amazon. Kodachi never noticed the gas cloud left behind changed from the usual green to an unexpected purple...
- - -
Shampoo was ready to go medieval on Kodachi's behinds. Her plan was in tatters as soon as that ball had exploded. She had leaped out of the way, making sure to go against the wind and avoid the poisonous cloud, then she had retrieved a bonbori and her sword from hidden weapon space. No mercy for the bitch, she decided, as she started following the Kuno girl that was more than happy to lead her on a marry chase around Nerima and neighboring wards.
Ranma and Akane were not so lucky. The redhead had only managed to grab her fiancée and step away from the blast radius, but the wind made sure they inhaled the ominous fumes. They coughed for a while, resisting tears and exiting the cloud blindly.
Suddenly, Ranma experienced a nauseating feeling, then the same sense of displacement that would come to her the first days after getting her curse. She hesitantly opened her eyes and saw... herself gawking back.
Akane felt dizzy, wondering what the hell Kodachi had thrown at them this time. A second later, she felt better than ever before in her life. The same euphoria one gets when they know they can do everything. She opened her eyes... and gawked at her own body.
Both Ranma and Akane blinked twice, let a shout in unison and fell on their rear. Akane blinked again, while Ranma, the mighty godslayer, the bane of Chinese princes, the best martial artist of her generation decided that swapping bodies with her unwilling fiancée was a very valid reason to pass out.
- - -
20-03-07: Wow, this chapter became much larger than I thought it would. Writing Ranma and Akane like that was great fun for me, even if Akane has decided to keep her temper relatively down. I hope you enjoyed the interaction. In the manga, Kodachi says she knows Ranma only pities her. Of course, she then proceeds to try and kidnap him so that pity can bloom to love, but... yeah. As for Konatsu, he did fight Ranma very effectively, but he was doped and Ranma still thought he was a girl. Until next time, where Akane and Ranma try to deal with that new minor inconvenience.
A review per day keeps the author in play...