Atonement
By Seniya
Breakfast
Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing.
I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith
Slumber is like a heady wine, coursing through the body and the mind, leaving intoxication and relaxation in its wake. Its saccharine taste is a bittersweet lure to most, for with that dark alcohol induced unconsciousness walks truth—realism made unclear by fantasies drawn to our attention in dreams.
And the sun is like a shower, icy cold and harsh. Daybreak washes away our fantasies, our liquor and our ignorance, welcoming us—thrusting us rather, naked and vulnerable into actuality.
……………
He had already decided that he absolutely loved the way that her strawberry locks would hold her face when she was asleep. It was a relatively new discovery for him (one only a few minutes old) but still, he felt that it could easily be one of his favorite things about her.
That and maybe the color of her cheeks at this time: early morning, when the only thing that dared to touch her were the shadows, when her lips were separated…he could just barely hear the music of her breathing.
He watched in absolute fascination as she snuggled deeper into her pillows, her tongue darted past those lips, only to return inside after a second's investigation.
……………
He could see now the memoirs from last night painted erratically onto her porcelain skin; a parade of scarlet marks that trailed across her neck, along her collar bone, and he suspected lower…although the comforter that she was currently holding onto made it impossible to be certain.
……………
He'd tainted her, although remorse wasn't in him. Had the Gods wanted their angel to remain spotless then they'd have resisted the urge to send her to earth to tempt him.
……………
She was an innocent…well she had been, before he's gotten to her. She had been something so fragile and rare to this sinful earth; and he'd taken it away; maybe it was natural for the wicked to seek out the pure, if only to darken their hearts.
But last night…he'd sworn that it would have been different but she'd been the one to stain him, she'd washed his oily soul with light, she had taken his terrible hands into hers—hands that had been soiled with crimson more times than he could count; she had taken them into her grasp and kissed them, washing away the years of torment and whispering pure salvation onto his skin.
She'd let him touch her, hold her and kiss her in ways that he'd only ever dreamed of before. She, despite everything had taught him how to love.
……………
And all he'd given her were a series of bruises; symbols of his gluttony and desires, ones that he prayed would fade with the sunrise.
……………
She tossed again, this time loosing the whispery reigns of unconsciousness in the process. It was an amazing feeling, he noted, to have every one of your emotions tied to a single person, and yet knowing that it would never be enough to convey the depth of feeling that she made him realize.
……………
Dark brown orbs, watery with tiredness opened to meet his face.
He could already feel his pulse racing…what would she think of him now? Would she notice that he'd been staring at her shamelessly for the last…hour maybe? It seemed ridiculous, even in his flustered, panicked mind that he should be nervous…they were together now; he shouldn't be worried about her noticing his infatuations, she was already well aware of them by now…
Yet even more ridiculous was the fact that he couldn't stop himself.
……………
It was hard to see through the sleep fogged room at first, there was a cloud of unconsciousness that lifted slowly to reveal faces—well a face—his face. She was obviously still dreaming.
She closed her eyes, trying to call back the warm, delicious sensations that had held her throughout the night. It was a strange dream; filled with kisses and soft words, sounds and smells that had finally deserted her only to have left her tucked in a bed of exquisite awareness and several other emotions, most of which were bundled up safely within her chest.
But that dream had been…wonderful seemed too weak a word…amazing no better…she decided then that maybe this was just something that would have to be explained with sentiments rather than with actual words.
The dream wasn't returning, and yet it wasn't deserting either, no, she could still remember how…
She had felt so radiant in his arms…so loved in his eyes, she had felt things and thought things that she'd wanted so much to bring into this world.
But she was too awake now to do that. She frowned slightly, opening her eyes again in an act of acquiescence.
……………
"Good morning," he whispered, his voice was deeper than she remembered; her heart jumped at the thought, the cloud had lifted completely now…so if he was here then—maybe it hadn't been a…
"'morning," she replied, lowering her eyes, wrapping her arms about the blankets and pulling them all higher, up to her chin. He smiled to himself; well, at least he hadn't changed her.
"So…how did you sleep?" He watched, breath held, as her eyes met his and a small grin came over her face.
"Um…good…" was he angry with her? What if she had done something wrong? She immediately raked her mind for anything that could have caused his uncharacteristic nervousness…but found nothing. Feeling that it was only her duty to make whatever it was that was bothering him disappear, she carefully sat up and drew closer to him, meeting his lips with her mouth, kissing him lightly.
The thundering of his heart only intensified with her touch, she had surrounded him entirely with her warmth, her aroma. He was swimming in it all.
'She's scared,' he realized with a start, her lips were trembling over his just like they did when she was afraid or upset. He pulled her away, looking at her strangely.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
She returned his odd look, carefully clutching the large white comforter to her chest before answering, almost bewildered, "nothing…"
"Did I hurt you…" he didn't wait for an answer, instead rushing into a difficult explanation, "…because it's…normal…it's supposed to…I mean…it won't happen again…if there is an again I mean…"
She did manage to laugh at his stammering; a sound that echoed off the walls of his discomfort, "So that's what's bothering you?"
She ran a finger along his cheek, and then traced to solid curve of his mouth, "you didn't hurt me." She smiled, a slight blush moving upwards from her neck to stain her cheeks, "I actually…kinda…liked it."
He wanted to feel relief, but all he knew was gratitude, swelling up in him, ready to burst, "are you…do you want some breakfast?"
"It's sorta early for breakfast…"
"I can make you something."
"Are you offering to cook?"
"Depends…"
"Because I know that you know that you can't cook." She adjusted her blankets before combing her hair back from her face with her fingers.
"You don't know that…"
"Well then I know that I won't be the one to test your culinary…"
He reached across the space to grab hold of her arms, greeting her lips with a kiss that was overflowing with passion, she responded, as best as she knew how, holding his lips, tentatively touching his tongue with hers once it found its way into her mouth…
When they broke away she felt dizzy, her heart thundered so recklessly that she knew that he could hear it.
"I can make pancakes…" Will managed, laughing uneasily when she heard him chuckle.
"Can you promise me…" she stilled at his voice, curious, painfully curious to find out where it would lead, "…promise me that you'll…never leave me."
She could feel the emotion choking her, she bit her lip. "I promise." She closed her eyes, trying to absorb all of the rough, raw feelings that were floating about them both.
"Because…" now there was only desperation in his voice, a pain that she wanted so much to just kiss away, "…you do know Will, that I love you."
"I know," she swallowed, almost flinching in the subsequent silence as he waited for her to respond.
She couldn't yet…she wanted to, but she simply couldn't; for she just wasn't certain how. She'd used those three words so many times before…because she'd felt like she'd had to, because she'd known that it was what someone else had wanted to hear. Now, this didn't feel like what she knew love to be, it was different, far more powerful, and she didn't dare dredge the deepness of this river of sensation with that one little phrase.
She hoped he could tell from her actions instead.
He drew closer again, kissing her once more before she began to pull him downwards, until the sheets and blankets and comforters had slipped away and they were both entangled in each other's limbs…
……………
Author: (To the tune of jingle bells) I love smex; I love smex, la la la la la…
I'm all over the place with this story; it actually feels good not to have to think of a plot. Just write smex and sin until the day is done. I think that this is what fellow noobs call a semi-lime. I'll get better with the writing; I've found someone to teach me.
I am now obsessed with comforters, since I bought a giant Bugs Bunny one for myself yesterday…shopping in the children's section is always shameful, but once you scream out "for my cousin" at least three times, no one thinks that you're strange. (That's your moral).
You know what I'm realizing though; this is becoming steadily un-fluffier as I go on…
Hah! Sokai, I'm catching up!
NEXT: Q is for Questions.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Avatar The Last Airbender…if I had the money to buy W.I.T.C.H, I'd buy Avatar instead…yep. I don't, so you know, not mine.