Chapter 12: Explanations and ramifications

Many can draw a plan. Much fewer can actually start it. A select few can even make is a success...

- - -

Cologne shook her head in mild disgust as her hands danced all over Mousse's back. She still wasn't sure how she had managed to placate Ranma and Akane, but the amazon elder had learned to count her blessings. She guessed they were both weary from the day's ordeals and not too eager to initiate yet another one of the riots Nerima was famous for. Her fingers found the pressure points she had been looking for and she activated them, pressing while sending a tiny dosage of chi through each of them. She noticed that while Xian Pu and Akane were busy glaring all around, Ranma was more interested in the technique she was using on the intoxicated hidden weapons master. Cologne's admiration for the currently displaced Saotome went up a notch. Even while in wrong bodies, she still had her senses open, waiting like a vulture to snatch knowledge from her actions.

Everybody else was startled as the elder pressed a final point, causing Mousse to let an inhuman cry of pain and indignation while something flashed at his abdomen. "It's a special technique used to accelerate alcohol's metabolism by pumping life energy to one's liver" she explained above Mousse's painful groans as everybody else regarded her incredulously. "The only downside is that you have to face hours worth of hangover condensed in mere seconds. Perfect for warriors that need to sober up fast and get grumpy enough to cut down foes" she added, causing the atmosphere to lighten considerably. Xian Pu and Akane bit back sniggers and Ranma smiled openly, confident she could replicate the technique on a certain panda. Mousse on the other hand shot a fittingly grumpy glare towards the elder, only to wince when her staff tested his skull's integrity.

Cologne's visage turned grim. "Now that we have dispensed with the pleasantries, we may try again and sort this particular, if amusing, mess" she intoned, glaring at her heir.

The purple-haired amazon gulped, but quickly remembered her upbringing. "Xian Pu made mind communication potion for Xian Pu and airen" she started, regarding everybody's face and shying away from Ranma's now hostile glare, before continuing. "Xian Pu only want talk to airen without sounding like idiot" she went on, biting her lip at the end of her sentence. She hated admitting weakness like that, especially before Akane, but she realized she had messed up royally this time.

Cologne's eyes failed to soften at that. While she perfectly understood her granddaughter's plight, she had nobody to blame but herself. The elder knew that no amount of magic could truly substitute real knowledge. "Did you ingest this potion, son-in-law?" she asked, turning to face Akane's body. She had adapted pretty fast to the switch, not missing a beat before addressing each of the displaced martial artists.

While Ranma contemplated that, Akane shook her head. "I believe that one of Kodachi's smoke bombs vaporized the potion and we breathed it."

Cologne let out a deep sigh. This new potion was sounding more and more potent by the second. An accomplished veteran of many wars, the elder shuddered at the many uses such a concoction would have. Pushing such thoughts away, she turned to the now subdued amazon male. "And what is your involvement, Mr. Part-timer?" she inquired testily.

Mousse gathered the tatters of his resolve and decided that holding back information would certainly not help him. The mood of everybody in the room was getting fouler by the second and he could easily imagine the others volunteering him for the ancient function known as scapegoat. "I discovered Xian Pu's potion by accident and diluted it with a nullifier potion of my own" he responded truthfully.

Cologne was not amused. "What kind of nullifier?" she followed in a low yet demanding voice.

Mousse gulped. "A class S, Zeus form, ninth degree nullifier" he hesitated, drawing a blank look from Akane, Ranma and Shampoo.

The elder's brow almost shot through the roof. "I'm not even going to ask where you learned how to brew a restricted, high level potion like that" she started, grinning mentally as Mousse visibly relaxed. "For now, anyway" she added, watching in satisfaction as he tensed worse than before. "Did you clean your workspace after finishing the potion?" she asked, turning to regard Shampoo.

The younger amazon shook her head sheepishly. "Xian Pu too too anxious to get potion to airen" she confessed, wilting under Cologne's disapproving frown. Cleaning after your messes was alchemy's golden rule, after all.

The elder sighed. "I need to check something. Try not to kill each other until I return" she advised, quickly disappearing from sight.

"This is all your fault!" came the chorus from three separate voices, then everybody's eyes went wide. Shampoo had talked to Mousse, Akane was blaming the purple-haired amazon while Mousse was holding an accusing finger towards Ranma.

Said martial artist blinked owlishly, as if wanting to confirm her ears were not playing tricks at her. "I think we all need to settle down a bit" she offered, shooting everybody a withering glance. The other three had the good grace to blush.

Cologne came back faster than anticipated, regarding the four others as they tried to secretly glare at the one they held responsible. Her hand snapped forward and a tiny pouch landed on the table they were gathered around. "Do you know what this is?" she asked, directing her question towards the other two amazons.

They gingerly opened the container, eyeing the silvery powder with trepidation. "It unicorn fur dust" exclaimed Shampoo. "Too too rare ingredient."

Cologne nodded. "I believe Ryouga Hibiki, with his uncanny talent of appearing out of thin air, accidentally added some of this powder to Xian Pu's potion. I caught him upstairs shortly after Mu Tzu was done sneaking around."

If said amazon had thought an appropriate verbal barb, he completely forgot about it as understanding dawned. "That would turn my nullifier into an amplifier" he exclaimed thoughtlessly.

Cologne regarded him with a calculating eye. "Very nice mister part-timer. Your sudden alchemical knowledge is staggering" she responded, causing Mousse to draw back, not unlike a snail back to its shell. She ignored him as her brows furrowed in thought. "What happened is incredible in its simplicity. A mind communication potion creates a bridge between two minds, allowing strong surface thoughts to be exchanged freely. It is exactly like talking to the phone, only nobody else can hear you. It also nullifies any language barriers" she clarified, sparing a glance towards her heir. "Apparently, nobody had thought to amplify it before, mainly because nobody could think of a reason to" she added, shaking her head. "Right now, the pull of the link is so strong, you basically remote control each other's body."

Akane nodded, accepting the explanation, while Ranma frowned. "So, is there an antidote?" she asked impatiently.

Cologne turned to Shampoo. "How much duration did you intent the initial potion to have?"

The amazon warrior fidgeted a bit. "Xian Pu set potion duration to two moons" she replied, causing Ranma to pale at the implication and Akane to snort in indignation.

Cologne nodded. "The amplifier will burn it down faster. The current effect should last from one to two weeks" she declared, prompting everybody else except Mousse to gasp.

"There must be an antidote for that, old ghoul!"

"I can't spend two weeks in this pervert's body!"

"Xian Pu can't hug airen when in too too violent girl's body!"

"Who are you calling a pervert?"

"It's all your fault you amazon hussy!"

"Pervert girl needs too too good whack on head? Maybe that dispel potion."

Exalted Grandmother Khu Lon felt she was too close to the end of her rope. "SILENCE!" she demanded in a chi enchanted voice that caused all solid surfaces to shudder. Satisfied when everybody stopped talking, she went on in her usual calm manner. "You won't have to worry about son-in-law during the next weeks, Xian Pu. Since you and Mu Tzu like to play with potions so much, I'm assigning you the honor of mastering this particular potion you accidentally brewed. From now on you will devote ALL of you free time to this task. I want you to find the exact ingredients used, the antidote and any useful variations of the potion. You will study its effects, using yourselves as test subjects and I expect serious and through reports when you are done."

While Mousse was busy thanking his lucky stars for being ordered to spend so much time with his beloved, Shampoo had other ideas. "But grandmother..." she started, only to be cut short when Cologne's staff missed her head by a hair's width, impacting and snapping the table in twain.

"I will not repeat myself, maiden warrior Xian Pu. You will initiate the appointed task at once!" she ordered, ignoring any further comments and turning to Ranma and Akane. They waited until the other two amazons exited, then they also turned to face her. "Keep in mind that developing an antidote will probably take more than two weeks. Your best bet is to wait it out."

The two fiancées were not happy but they nodded in resignation. "Do you have any advice, elder?" asked Akane respectfully, pleasantly surprising the amazon.

Cologne nodded. "Be careful of the challenges you undertake and the persons you reveal your condition. I'm sure you have noticed by now, but the two bodies are a lot different. I won't tell you to stay out of trouble because frankly you don't seem to be able to help it," she added cackling, causing both girls opposite to her to frown. She quickly sobered down, her face turning grim, when another thought surfaced. "Also, be careful not to die. If one of you does, the shock will promptly kill the other," she added bluntly, closing her eyes as both youngsters looked down. She felt it was her duty to cheer them up. "On the other hand, this can be an opportunity to learn different things and a unique way of training." She was satisfied when both of them and especially Ranma perked up at that.

Akane's eyes turned to the window and she noticed for the first time it was past dusk. "We should probably return home. We skipped lunch and everybody will probably be worried by now."

Ranma nodded. "Yeah, I can do without waterworks and pre-wedding parties tonight."

The amazon elder smirked. "Off you go then. I wouldn't want a search party to stomp in my restaurant. I will call you if I have news on an antidote, but as I said don't hope for much."

- - -

Konatsu was worried. True to his training, he did not allow that fact to interfere with the task at hand, namely taking care of the restaurant's customers. Quick to learn new tricks, he had become almost as good as Ukyo in the art of Okonomiyaki preparation. Combined with his kunoichi skills, he was able to keep Ucchan's as if he was in many places at once. In fact, sometimes he would use his body duplication technique to do just that. In this particular instant he had sent a clone to wait outside for the source of his worry. Ukyo had yet to return.

His thoughts dissolved instantly as he spotted his clone entering the restaurant through the back door. It held said missing Okonomiyaki chef, who was busy babbling while lost in drunken stupor. Konatsu was fairly familiar when it came to drunken individuals, not only because of his training but also because of his former home. The customers reaching his family's 'tea shop' had always been way more interested in drowning their sorrows than in her stepfamily. Konatsu did not blame them. His stepsisters and stepmother seemed like Famine, Pestilence and Death personified. Still, despite his experience, seeing her boss and secret love in such a state made him sad, as if he had somehow failed her.

"I'll get you to lie down, mistress Ukyo" he muttered, changing places with his clone and dragging the target of his shy affections upstairs. "I fear you will be feeling rather uncomfortable tomorrow." The incessant stream of incoherent, sailor grade curses that leaked from her mouth did nothing to diminish his feelings.

- - -

Ranma and Akane walked in contemplative silence for a while, each replaying the day's incidents and trying to figure out how they would survive for two weeks in each other's bodies.

Said silence was interrupted when Akane's belly decided to declare its presence and demand to be fed. The displaced girl smirked. "Do you keep a dragon chained in here Ranma? It sounds angry we missed lunch" she teased.

A second later, Ranma's stomach responded in kind and she smirked towards her former body. "Your pet Phoenix doesn't sound much happier. I'd say she's so hungry she's on fire."

Akane rolled her eyes then regarded Ranma as she reflexively leaped on the fence. She was still wearing her school uniform, she noted, never having a chance to change. Then her eyes went wide as she remembered a vital detail.

"Get off that fence!" she demanded frantically, her fingers grasping the steel wires and thrashing vigorously. "Now!" she went on, her eyes snapping from right to the left.

Ranma almost lost her balance, recovering at the last moment and hoping down without any regard, causing her fiancée to hiss in irritation. "Geez, what's the matter, tomboy?" she asked casually, receiving an elbow at her side. "That hurt, you know."

"Idiot, have you no modesty? Did you forget what you're wearing?" she asked heatedly.

Ranma blinked, then looked at her clothes groaning. "Oh, come on. Even if it's a dress, no one could see..."

Akane grabbed her from the shoulders and shook her. "Let me rephrase that, did you forget what you are NOT wearing?" she asked, now virtually whispering.

Ranma blinked again, then she turned sheepish. "Whoops, I completely forgot about that thing with Happosai. No wonder it's drafty" she mused, prompting Akane to sigh and rub her temples.

The currently pig-tailed girl grabbed her fiancée's hand, determined to lead both of them back home without any more shenanigans. Ranma let herself be dragged, as Akane voiced her thoughts as a part plan, part rant speech.

"We will tell none of this. The less that know the better. If you can't think of something I would say, keep your mouth shut. I'll try to eat as messily as you usually do, but you must slow down. We have to sleep in each other's rooms so nobody will know."

"Do I really have to mallet you for silly things?" asked Ranma, gaining a death glare. She ignored it, grinning to herself instead. "I mean, one would almost think you enjoyed having Shampoo all over you. Why, if not for me, you would have shared a very romantic moment" she teased, causing Akane to stop and turn to face her.

"This was all your fault. You should have sent that floozy back from where she came from a long time ago. You probably enjoy the attention!" she fumed.

Ranma rolled her eyes. "In the way YOU enjoyed her attention?" she asked slyly.

Her fiancée responded very maturely, sticking her tongue out. "As if. She was clutching me like a demented phobic octopus. I thought my ribs... well... your ribs would give out on me" she finished, raising a brow at her fiancée's smug face.

"Which proves I don't enjoy her attention either" she concluded, crossing her arms while nodding to herself in a way that seemed unsettlingly cute to Akane.

The Tendo girl's eyes went wide at the thought and she blushed despite herself, wondering why she would think something like that for her own body. "As if I'd know what a pervert like you enjoys" she replied angrily.

Ranma eyed her through half-lidded eyes. "Watch it with the pervert cracks" she warned annoyed. "And speaking of what to do and what not to do, you'd better be careful who you fight when in my body. I might not be there to save you from Pig-boy next time."

Akane fumed at that, trying to figure a way to hurt Ranma without injuring her body. At that point, another battle came to her mind. It really irked her that Ranma had been able to completely overmatch Shampoo while in her body. While the Tendo girl hated to admit it, she knew she usually had little chance to prevail against the amazon.

Her curiosity and drive for the art won against her pride and she turned to face her normal body. "How did you do that when you fought Shampoo, anyway? Even with your body's senses I couldn't follow it at all. I know I've never seen you doing that normally" she inquired, doctoring her tone to avoid sounding impressed.

Ranma shrugged. "That's a flash-step technique. Many combat styles have these. I've improved one of them by combining elements from the tea ceremony toe moves, the little I've learned about skating from you and a weak umisenken" she explained, then concentrated for a second.

Akane blinked, then her eyes snapped to her other side as Ranma seemed to vanish then reappear almost instantly. "Fast..." she muttered in disbelief.

Ranma feh-ed. "It's useful, but no big deal. In fact, it's not even finalized. When I figure out the old freak's Cicada Shell technique and add it to the mix, I'll be able to pass through solid objects with this. Now that would be interesting" she mused, getting carried away with a dreamy look on her face.

Her fiancée was not sure if she should blink in awe and disbelief or pound Ranma for never having that look when thinking about her. She decided that both such actions would hurt her position and settled for frowning instead.

"Of course, I might be able to show you how it's done" went on Ranma, smirking when she saw the brief flash of eagerness and excitement that occupied her normal face for almost a second. She had realized soon enough that while Akane might pretend to be mildly interested, she was ready to absorb new techniques of her level like a sponge, not unlike Ranma herself.

"I'll hold you to that" she responded. "Now shut up and pretend to be me. We are almost home."

Ranma quirked a brow. "That doesn't make any sense. You rarely shut up."

Before Akane could physically convey what she thought of that comment, she had to stop when Nabiki came to meet them just outside the estate gates.

"I don't know where you two lovebirds have been, but I hope you are ready for trouble," exclaimed the middle Tendo, her voice sounding more nervous than what she would normally allow to herself. "I persuaded Taro to give me some information and things don't look exactly sunny. Those minotaurs Taro fought will be back, so make sure you are battle ready, Ranma. I believe our house is one of their targets."

- - -

07-06-07: Not much action in this chapter, but I hope you found some of it borderline funny. I am very puzzled I only received one review in the last chapter, even though the hit count has been even more active than usual. If you think there is something wrong with my stories, tell me so. In the next chapter, Ranma and Akane face their next two big challenges: Furo and school while in wrong bodies!!