Atonement
By Seniya
Cookies
But my friends keep telling me to give it up
Saying I'm too young, I ought to live it up
What I need right now is some good advice, please
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh
I'm gonna keep my baby…
Papa Don't Preach By Madonna
"Why thank you Wilma," Irma wrapped the long string of gum around her finger whilst peering at her friend through the corner of her oversized sunglasses. "For driving me twenty miles away from civilization so that you can buy…what sells across the street…Am I making sense?"
"Stop complaining…you volunteered." Will snapped distractedly, far too tired of hearing the brunette's long list of complaints to tolerate her for much longer—in any case, she needed to keep her eyes on the road.
"As if I had a choice. Hay Lin joined the school band…the school band. Say it with me, school band…God it even sounds nerdy. I can already feel myself growing a pocket protector."
"What about Taranee?"
"Are you serious? The girl's gone completely Mommy Dearest on me, some guy told her that the more work that she did in senior year, the less she'd have to do in the first year of college. She's attached to that book place…the one next to the arcade?"
"The library?" Will rolled her eyes, signaling to turn into the parking lot of the supermarket.
"Yeah, yeah that." She propped her feet on the head board, grinning all the while. "So…you and Caleb finally, and I do mean finally decided to get nasty huh?"
"I was gonna say that you lied about not knowing where the library was but obviously, you were telling the truth…you and your wonderful vocabulary."
"Okay, yeah whatever, but seriously, what took you guys so long?"
"Irma I am not having this conversation…" Even through the harsh shadows of the pre sunset, the younger girl could see the blush that caked Will's freckled cheeks.
"Fine, be all secretive…park here…you're missing all the good spaces!"
"Stop touching the wheel! I can't take you anywhere you know…and this is why."
"I'm being very well behaved, you sound like my mom…oh wait no, you sound like my mom after she's had a sex change operation and then had to spend the night alone with Cornelia…and they shared a bed. Oh, and underwear."
"I swear that I will never meet someone as messed up as you."
"Thank you dahling, I do try to be eccentric for you…especially considering that your man toy is such a total…" she faltered under Will's curious eyes. Cornelia would have melted her with her bitch vision, Taranee might have lectured her on the several ways that gum could lead to stomach complications…but Will, poor thing, could only look helpless. She took pity, "freak. Completely bewitched behind you. He's spoiling you, you know. I have to keep you in line."
"By making me wonder why you're not institutionalized yet?"
"Oh, very good…that's gratitude." She began to straighten her favorite pair of jeans as Will turned off the engine of her red Jeep—they were a bit too tight, the jeans that is…well, honestly they'd never fit, but hell, her butt had never looked better, and sacrifices should be made.
"Are you ready Freckles? Once you enter the world of adult contraceptives there's no going back."
"Uh huh…" Will loosened her hair from the untidy ponytail that she had adopted a few years ago, running her fingers through the untidy red mane, hair that yearned, and she didn't want to be a Cornelia here, but wow, just some sort of conditioner…
"What are you looking around for? Gasp, do you think that the condom police tailed us here? Because hot damn I forgot to pay my taxes!"
"Irma…okay, fine, let's just go…" she shoved open her door, and waited, biting her lips and tapping her sneakers against the asphalt for Irma to do the same.
"You really are freaking out about this."
"Well, I mean…I've never really done this before, and it's sorta…embarrassing." She looked away, gazing unseeing at the Mother across the lot who was scolding her daughter.
"Everyone does it Will, and you'll learn that you just wasted gas money driving here because I'm sure that as lame as Trent is, they sell them there. You could have gotten them before you came home…or here's the kicker, you could have gotten them from the drug store across the street from your apartment."
"Ah, but then I would have missed your forty-five minutes of constant complaining, and what a travesty that would be."
"Ha ha. But in my defense, it would have been thirty minutes if only you'd learn to use that little button called the gas…"
"I'm beginning to regret bringing you here."
"That hurt Freckles. I mean, who else where you going to get? Cornelia would maul your ass if she knew."
"No she wouldn't. It's been like what, four years?"
"So? She was smitten. And you never forget your first love. Ever. Like how I've never forgotten Joseph LaDaugh…that God of a man…pity that his record label dropped him. And besides, don't you ever think about Matt?"
"Not like how you mean…"
"Are you serious? You need to behave more normal, and watch Lifetime. God, in thirty years after you've gotten out of jail for a murder that you didn't commit, you'll turn to his recently divorced shoulder, and the rest…oh la la, is cinema history."
"Oh look we're here." Will announced, walking straight through the automatic doors, as though that should conclude Irma's ridiculous interjections.
It didn't. "Who do you think should play you? I'll be your deaf best friend who works as a stripper but is really an undiscovered singing sensation. And I want Whitney Houston to play me."
"How am I supposed to buy these?" She had lowered her voice to a whisper now, carefully avoiding the faces of the ten or so other customers. So that's why she had chosen here…no one was ever going to spot them out here.
"You see Will, it's simple," Irma, in pure jest, dropped her voice as well, "you go into the aisle, pick up the box and then…here's the tough part, you pay for it. Do you need me to use smaller words Freckles?"
"I'm fine," rolling her eyes and muttering under her breath, she grabbed a basket from the pile nearby.
"What are you going to do with that?" Irma ran along behind her, "are you this confused? They really aren't that big…"
"I know that…I just want some cookies too, that's all."
As if to prove her point she dropped three packages of chocolate chip into her basket. "Uh huh," Irma chomped on her gum thoughtfully, "hey, can I get some Pringles? And some new gum…this one is kinda stale."
"Huh? Oh yeah yeah, whatever you want."
"And cupcakes?"
Will turned to face her, "you're not taking this seriously are you?"
"I'm supposed to?" She pressed her lips into a thin line in order to stifle the giggles. It didn't help, Will noticed.
"It isn't funny."
"I…know…you're missing the face paint and giant shoes for it to be truly hilarious."
"Whatever…new plan. Let's just get them and go…where are they anyway?"
"Over there…under the sign…"
Will mumbled something indiscernible and then stomped off, Irma however, grabbed two packs of gum from a nearby box before chasing after her.
……………………………
She was buying razors when she found her again.
"You know Will…"
"I know, just which one do I get?" She was chewing on her lip now; Irma began to worry that she might cut the skin…
"Gum?"
"No…help, that's what I want from you."
"Oh, well…um, what size do you want?"
"They're different sizes?"
"Oh yeah…different flavors too. And what's this I see…scented?"
"I don't know what size…you know…he…you know…"
"You didn't ask?"
She shook her head and muttered a slight "no".
"Are you this embarrassed? Even with him?" Irma ripped open a pack of gum and shoved a piece into her mouth with the other one. "God, I don't know what you're gonna do when you two actually get around to it…you know what, mystery solved, I see now why it took so long."
"You're not helping you know."
The redhead again, looked so vulnerable that Irma could tease her no longer. "All right babe, I'm sorry. Really, I'll try to be better."
She turned to face the massive display. "Um, okay—well, he had big feet right?"
"What?"
"Does he have big feet? It's the best I got."
"I…guess that they're…big…but what does this have to do with anything?"
"You don't know what they say about men with big feet?"
"No…but hey, you know, if I go up to the cashier with all this food and…you know…those…then she'll think that I'm some sort of freak…"
"She'd be right…oh right, yeah, no, no, don't think that."
"Maybe I should just leave…we've waited this long…"
"Can I help you two?" Both girls turned, well, Will jumped, squeaked and then turned to face a short, stout elderly woman, with the name "Mary" embroidered on a jacket.
"No, no, you can't. I'm sorry for bothering you…but we were just…"
"Actually," Irma grabbed Will's fleeing wrist, holding her steady. "My friend and I want to purchase some condoms but well, she's a little new to this, so she doesn't know what kind would be best for her."
"Oh, is she a virgin?"
"Yes, it's written all over her face isn't it? She doesn't know size, anything."
"Well, perhaps the young man should come here to purchase them for himself. In my day if we were going to do the horizontal polka the man would take charge." She raised her bangle laden hand in triumph apparently.
Irma joined in, "Hell yeah! But he's a little…unable to do that. So it's up to her…well me, and you maybe."
"Yes, I understand, how tall is he then."
"Um," Irma released Will hand, ignoring the girl's deathly pale face and shivering lips, she raised her hand above her head, "he's like what, six three…maybe I dunno…pretty tall. Don't even ask her shoe size though."
"Well then," Mary chirped strolling over to the multitudes of florescent boxes and pulling down a hot pink number, "well these should work. They stretch you know."
"Really?" Irma grabbed the box as though they might be the holy grail, "did you hear that Will? These ones stretch!"
But Will had already turned and left, grabbing several boxes as she did, marching off towards the cashier without a backwards glance.
"Will?" Irma, once again, began to run after her.
Will dropped everything, cookies, condoms, razors and all onto the counter; trying, though failing to ignore the woman's confused look. Finally, she could bear it no longer. "All right, yes, fine, fine! I am buying condoms, why? Because I want to have sex with my boyfriend, how was I supposed to know that it would be the single most embarrassing event of my life?"
"Just cash those, please, she's having a rough day…oh and this gum too."
……………………………
They were able to walk away unscathed, although Will, unused to outburst of any kind, was significantly more sulky on the slow stroll back to the Jeep.
"Are you okay sweetie?" Irma wrapped a hand about her friend's narrow shoulders.
"Fine, just fine. At least it's far away right?"
"Yeah…hey, I was just joking you know? I really think that you and Caleb are cute. Dorky cute, you know?"
Will smiled a bit, "yeah I know Irma, you mean well."
"See, this is why I love you. There isn't a spiteful bone in your body! Except for maybe that Matt thing…"
"What do you mean? I still talk to him when I can."
"Yeah, but you don't miss him or anything?"
"Not…exactly."
"See, weird, weird."
"He wasn't my first love." She shrugged, blushing slightly as she uttered the words, "I guess that that's probably why."
"Oh…"
They climbed into the Jeep in silence, sweet, thoughtful silence, well, until Irma found the pressing need to rant about emos. "I mean what the hell?"
……………………………
Author: Thanks for all your prayers and words of concern. I'm feeling rather embarrassed now because I sorta wrote that author note/story the instant that my mother told me what the doctor said, so basically that was just what had crossed my mind then…and God, later when we went to his office he scared me completely by showing me the picture of my heart and then showing me a "normal" heart. Yeah, I was very freaked out, but I'm better now.
Shit happens, you learn from it, you grow. I thank you though, it feels really good to know how much you love me…or at least my stories. :)
NEXT: N is for Nervous