1Crystal Jing

By: Awlric Hayell

Disclaimer: I don't own Jing, I don't own Kir, Idon't own the Sailor Scouts, so don't sue me, ya hear?

A/N: The Prologue is past, the time has begun, let new chapters reign!

Chap 1: Youma, Extra crispy.

"Shooting for the moon?" Kir growled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Jing smiled as an explosion rocked the streets behind him. "I think we'll be getting a demonstration very soon." He said, turning to watch the ensuing battle.

"MUA HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" The Youma-of-the-day laughed demonically. "ALL YOU HEART ARE BELONG TO ME!!!!" In each of its monstrous hands it held a nearly laughable parody of sci-fi laser weapons that it was using to suck the life energy out of the panicking citizens. It's blue skin was a female version of the enemy from the 'All your base' video going around the internet. It hovered on cartoonish rockets and was dressed in a form fitting blue spacesuit.

"YOWZA!" Kir exclaimed. "What a Hottie!"

Jing chuckled knowingly. "Trust me, Kir, that 'Hottie' Is more likely to burn you then love you. Besides," Jing pointed at the skintight spacesuit. "I think 'she' is more than even you can handle."

Kir blinked then looked closer at the crotch of the spacesuit, which was bulging visibly. "EEEEEWWWWW!!!! Bleck! Ickth!" Kir busied himself scrubbing his eyes with soap. "Must...cleanse...eyes!"

"HALT, FOUL YOUMA! You have preyed upon the souls of poor internet users everywhere with your poor grammar and bad graphics for long enough! I'm Sailor Moon!"

"Sailor Venus!"

"Sailor Mercury!"

"Sailor Mars!"

"And Sailor Jupiter!"

"In the name of the moon, WE'LL PUNISH YOU!!!"

Kir looked up, his eyes red from the soap. "What now? Some sort of sentai team? Bah, those Rangers in the last universe were bad enough. Well, except for Pink and Yellow..." Kir chuckled pervertedly as he reminisced.

"Well," Jing replied distractedly. "Sort of..." He wiped his nose absentmindedly and looked at his hand. 'Blood? I haven't had a nosebleed since...uh oh.'

Kir had finally looked towards the source of the disturbance. "...I APPROVE! KICK THAT NOT-WOMAN'S ASS!!!" He shouted, blood pouring from both nostrils as he gave 2 thumbs up and a perverted grin the likes of which Jiraiya of the Sannin would weep at the depths of lechery it stated.

Jing paled as the youma glared in their direction. Acting quickly, he dashed into an alley, grabbing Kir by his neckerchief and pulling him out of the way of the laser that fried everything in its path to a cindery crisp. Jing peeked out, noted the blackened street, and ducked back, running the other way as fast as he could. "Dammit Kir! Did you have to piss off the super baddy with the giant laser!?!"

Kir pouted and folded his wings arrogantly. "I'm sure my lovely angels would have saved me."

Jing sighed as he jumped and kicked off the side of the alley, bouncing between walls higher and higher till he reached the roof. "That's not the point!"

As Kir and Jing were arguing the battle resumed on the streets.

"Now, where were-" the Youma started, turning towards the Sailor Senshi, only to be cut off as it received a face full of fire arrows, lightning bolts, glowing chains, ice bubbles, and a giant pink glowing heart to top it off.

"MARS FLAME SNIPER!"

"JUPITER OAK EVOLUTION!"

"SHABON SPRAY!"

"VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN!"

"MOON HEALING ESCALATION!"

Burnt, shocked, chained, and frozen, the 'all your youma' could only stare as the giant pink heart of DOOM neared. It sighed. "Why always pink? Hate I pi-" And was cut off as it turned to dust.

Having defeated the Youma, Sailor moon healed the victims with her powers and headed back to the shrine with the others to discuss things. Jing, still on the rooftops, noticed and decided to follow, if only to get more information on his targets.

To be Continued...

E/N: Hey, it's longer than the last chapter. What more can you ask for...except for reviews. Reviews would be nice.

Ja ne!