Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. JKR does. That's all folks.
A/N: School started on the eighth so I won't have as much time to update so it's just a warning. I hopefully will update at the very least about twice or thrice a month. Okay, now on with the story!
X The Letter
She probably invited me in there to get a good laugh just like she did last year. It may have only been a split second, but the moment she saw my legs last year, I saw it. Smirking just like the rest of those idiots, getting a good laugh in before the next exams. To think I almost fell for it, thought Severus bitterly as he walked across the grassy fields towards the front doors of Hogwarts.
Nevertheless, something about her isn't like the rest of them. It was true; Lily Evans was not like anyone else he had met. It was not a good or bad thing… The fact that she may have been trying to befriend Snape was quite unnerving to him. She was a Gryffindor, Muggle-born, clever, a bit bold, attractive… Well, according to her reputation, he assured himself as an afterthought. He felt as though he should have been nicer, but also that there was something so terribly off about all this, as if trusting her actions would just cause problems, and he had enough of them to start with.
Mumbling the password to the brooding wizard on the portrait hole doorway (Purus), he walked into the Slytherin common room and sat in the armchair furthest from the other students. Evan Rosier spotted him from across the room; Severus watched as he walked over.
"Where were you? It would have been nice if you at least helped me with Defence," Rosier said in an irritated tone.
"Busy," Severus said.
"Too busy to help a mate out with his Defence work?"
"Apparently."
Rosier glared and stalked back to the tables to do his homework again. Severus stroked his temples and noticed Bellatrix give him an inquisitive look from across the room and whisper in her friend's ear, causing the friend to giggle. He got up and decided to go to his empty dormitory and relax; in the back of his mind still wondering what Lily's motives were.
XXX
"So, still want to go with me to Hogsmeade?" asked James Potter in the Gryffindor common room a few weeks later.
"Potter, Hogsmeade is still over a month away!" Lily cried.
"I'll take that as a yes," he smiled and ran up the staircase to the boys' dormitories. Lily sighed at his behaviour. James had started asking her out in fifth year; had tried to impress her in any way possible since third. She had had a small crush on him in her first and second year, but it faded when he turned so disgustingly conceited. Though her stomach sometimes performed flip-flops when he was very close to her, overall she found him utterly unpleasant. Her friends told her to give him a chance, but Lily ignored their urging and reminded them that the giant squid was still available.
It was a lazy Saturday afternoon her studying was not going the way she wanted it too. The Charms essay assigned to her yesterday was only half done, she could not successfully turn her eyelashes green yet, and her Ancient Runes project still needed the final changes. Frankly, Lily Evans was stressed. The Slug Club was not helping either. Wood and Bellatrix had had to skip the last meeting due to work, and the sixth-years were to follow suit soon enough. The portrait hole opened and a gaggle of fourth-year boys ran in looking chary. She heard a growling sound and before the boys got to the staircase yelled, "Hold it!"
They froze, the shortest of the lot, a small blonde-haired boy, positioned his hands behind his back. Lily looked him over.
"What's behind your back?"
"Whatcha talking about?" the boy asked boldly.
Accio Fanged Frisbee! Lily incanted mentally.
"Hey!" said the boys as the Frisbee struggled out of his grip and soon after landed in her hand.
"Fanged Frisbees are banned and if you don't believe me I'm sure Filch would happily back me up," Lily said strictly.
The boys grumbled and walked up the staircase, one of them mumbling "Bitch" under his breath.
"And watch your language!" yelled Lily.
"Lily Evans: Causing adolescent boys everywhere to sink into despair," said a voice.
She turned to see a grinning Sirius Black. She rolled her eyes. "Afternoon, Black."
Sirius bowed lowly. "Afternoon, Evans."
Lily chortled at his antics. Charm must be in the gene pool of the Black family, or at least for Sirius and Regulus. "What are you up to this fine day, Ms. Evans?" asked Sirius, gesturing towards the window, where it was overcast and windy. Certainly not a fine day
"Trying to finish up some homework, sir, and you?" asked Lily, playing along.
"Looking for my dear mate Prongs. Have you seen him, milady?" he asked, bowing again.
Lily snorted. "If you mean Potter, he went up the stairs a few minutes ago."
"Okay, thanks, Evans!" he said and ran up the stairs as well.
Lily sighed. She wanted a study partner or group of some sort. She sometimes studied with her friends, but they said she was too severe about studying—that it was scary at times. She couldn't help it; studying was important and she wanted to be on top, school-wise. And a little healthy competition never hurt anyone! The only person that came close to understanding this was Remus; she studied with him when he wasn't with his friends. Her main problem was that she tended to crack under lots of pressure. She had had to receive the Draught of Peace fifteen times within two weeks' time leading up to O.W.L. exams last year—apparently a Hogwarts record.
When a few fifth-year girls came down from the girls' dormitory and started gushing over the latest Teen Witch Weekly, Lily decided she wanted to take a soothing bath before dinner.
She reached the bathroom with thirty minutes to spare. She never could get over the beauty of it all: the candle-lit chandelier, marble walls, ceiling, sink, toilet, and tub. Although the portrait of the (fortunately, usually slumbering) mermaid was a bit annoying, she was certainly satisfied with access to the prefects' bathroom. She turned the assorted knobs and undressed. She lowered herself into the deep pool of steaming water and her aching muscles immediately relaxed. About ten minutes after unintentionally dozing off, she opened her eyes to see none other than Moaning Myrtle sitting on the large valve of the bath, looking around the room in an uninterested manner.
"MYRTLE! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" yelled Lily, sinking lower under the bubbles to cover herself.
"We're both girls, you know! I'm not some disgusting boy watching you like a piece of meat!" squealed Myrtle; she was close to crying already.
"Look, I'm sorry for yelling," started Lily, "but what are you doing here?"
"I don't know…I'm bored," replied Myrtle. "I forgot your name, what was it again?"
"Lily. Lily Evans," said Lily in a calm voice.
"Oh yes! Now I remember! You're the girl that stopped that girl from flushing me a few years ago!" Myrtle shrieked.
"Yes, I am," said Lily as she remembered the time in her third year when Myrtle and Marlene had argued, leading to Marlene's attempt to flush Myrtle down the toilet.
"I hear your name a lot you know. In the boys' bathroom," said Myrtle in a gossipy tone.
Lily wrinkled her nose. "The boys' bathroom? How do you hear my name there?"
"Well, mostly this one boy. When he was talking to his friends," Myrtle said as a wicked smile began to form on her translucent, blue-tinted face. "He has glasses and messy hair, and he is always saying 'This'll be the year; she'll finally realize how in love with her I am'. It is disgusting really, the way he goes on about you. I wish someone would say that about me!" said Myrtle, the last sentence wavering.
"Don't feel bad, I'm not happy about his comments in the slightest," Lily guaranteed as Myrtle started to sniffle. "Well, thank you, Myrtle, but I think I will be leaving now. Nice speaking to you."
Myrtle stuck her nose in the air and with a "humph", stormed back up the spout. Lily stood up, drained the tub, and dried off, trying as hard as possible to erase what Myrtle said from her mind. She changed back into her clothes; towel-dried her hair, and headed for the Great Hall early.
A few Hufflepuffs and Slytherins were already there and eating when Lily arrived. After about ten minutes, however, the Great Hall began to fill up rapidly. Lily waved over Emmeline and Alice when they entered the Hall, a tired Marlene McKinnon lagging behind. Lily assumed she was just getting in from flying.
She spotted Severus come in through the double doors and smiled when their eyes met. He blinked but Lily didn't mind. It's a start, she thought with a shrug. Finally, the Marauders were the last students through the doors, all of them laughing loudly. Lily's mouth formed a grimace when James winked at her before sitting down at the table.
Maybe if you go to Hogsmeade with him, he will realize how much of a bore you are and stop liking you.
Yeah right, like he will end his crush on me over one date.
Alternatively, you can act as unappealing as possible and then he will stop liking you, said the first voice.
That only works on TV, you know.
Will you pass the carrots? said a voice that sounded like—
"Lily, did you hear me? Can you pass the carrots?" asked Alice.
Lily snapped out of it. "Oh…yes…sorry, Alice," she said, and handed Alice the bowl of sautéed carrots. "I've got a lot of things on my mind."
She then began to eat her vegetables quietly, wondering about something that was still over a month away.
She looked a few spots down and across from her and glanced at Remus and the moment she saw him, dropped her fork.
"Remus! What's that on your neck?" she asked, unintentionally causing a few other Gryffindors to stare at Remus searching for the problem.
There was a large, narrow scratch on his slender neck. It looked very red against his pale skin; he quickly put his hand up to it and slowly rubbed it, quite nervous from all the attention he was getting.
"Erm, Hagrid and I were talking by the trees near the forest and a bowtruckle decided he didn't like me being very close to him. He took an angry swipe at my neck and—"
"You poor thing!" exclaimed Lily as she leaned across the table to touch the cut gently. "Why didn't you go to Madame Pomfrey? She would have fixed it in no time!" Lily inquired, not noticing James stabbing his roast beef rather violently with his fork.
"No, no, it's fine. I'll just let it heal naturally," he said, his face red from everyone's concentration on him.
"Okay, fine. But I'll be happy to go with you to see her if you want," Lily said.
"He said he's fine, Evans. He is not a child; he can fend for himself without you caressing his cuts and bruises," James said unpleasantly and stood up, storming out of the Great Hall, not affected in the least by walking through the Gray Lady (causing her to placidly state, "What nerve children have these days.").
Remus immediately stood up and followed James out of the door.
"Uh oh, tension in Marauder paradise, eh?" said Marlene.
"Shut your mouth, McKinnon," said Sirius, leading to some colourful words being exchanged between the two for most of dinner.
XXX
September went by much more slowly than usual, but it was now mid-October. The weather became cold and harsh; leaves in deep red, orange, and brown hues already beginning to fall off some trees. Many other trees stayed intact, though, leaving the Hogwarts grounds to look like a seasonal holiday card. Planning and dates for the Hogsmeade weekend began amongst the students, causing drama and anticipation. On a breezy Thursday evening Severus sat in a shady tree reading a letter he had received from him mother for the umpteenth time since its arrival that morning.
Dear Severus,
Hello, darling. I've thought about you quite a lot since you last left; I apologize for not giving you a better good-bye. I'm better, Severus; no need to worry. In fact, that reminds me. Horace Slughorn owled me the other week. He invited me over for a cup of tea for this Saturday afternoon. I have not seen that man in years—such an amazing Potions master he is… You're growing into such a fine young man, Sev. The last picture of you that I took this summer, although you were aggravated, turned out lovely. I enclosed the picture with this letter, actually.
I wish your father were more understanding about all this. I'm sure, if things were different, he would be so very proud of you.
Severus frowned; his grip on the letter a bit tighter every time he read those sentences. His father didn't care, and honestly, he never would. Severus had accepted that fact very early in life.
I'm sure I'll get to see you this Saturday, so I'm rather excited. Getting out of the house will do me some good; and I'll bet a hundred Galleons that Horace has plenty of good things to say about you.
Severus, always remember that I love you so much, more than anything in this world. Be safe, dear, and see you on Saturday.
With love,
Mum
He felt indifferent towards the letter. She sounded as though she was bollocking her way through it all. He knew that she was not okay. She had just said that so he would not worry. Nevertheless, he did think that coming to Hogwarts might do her some good, since she was always so passionate about her school days.
He placed the letter back into the envelope and pulled out the picture of himself during the summer. It was a moving photo, which surprised him because his father usually would not allow magical photographic developing solution in the house. The photo was a profile of him reading. He tucked a piece of hair behind his ear and turned towards the real Severus, frowned and pulled the book up closer to his face. Typical, he thought with a snort. Most of the pictures of him now were of him reading and scowling; when he was very young, however, he was laughing or playing. Nevertheless, that was then—when he was young, naïve, and did not fully understand the evils the world was full of. When he did not understand that life was not easy, even though he knew that his home life wasn't normal. Nobody else's lives were full of arguing, screams, and neglect. Nobody's night included their father laying drunk on the couch after a long day of work and seeing their mother Floo in and out of the fireplace just to get away from the home.
His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by obnoxious, girlish laughter. He looked down and saw Amelia Bulstrode and Narcissa Black talking. They both wore elegant black robes with jade and platinum embroidered crests and stylish decorations around the sleeves and hem.
"Can you believe he is going to Hogsmeade with her of all people?" said Amelia.
"I know! He is nearly a foot shorter than her; horrible match as well. Going out with that filthy half-blood? He should have more honour, should he not?" Narcissa said.
"Oh yes. My mum would probably disown me if she found out I went out with someone other than a pure-blood," Amelia said.
"Not that you would," Narcissa said lowly.
"Oh, of course not!" Amelia assured her.
Narcissa sighed and tossed her hair, "I wonder what will happen with me and Lucius."
"You'll probably get married and you, Narcissa, will be a part of two distinguished pure-blood lines. A Black getting married to a Malfoy? How much better could you get? Perfect pure-blood marriage, if you ask me," Amelia squealed.
Narcissa giggled and had a dopey smile on her face. Severus rolled his eyes, hardly believing they were talking about marriage when they were barely sixteen.
"Anyways, back to more recent matters. I hear that idiot McKinnon is going to Hogsmeade with Emeritus Limunis. He's certainly handsome, however, so perhaps she does have some taste."
"Limunis? The Hufflepuff prefect?" Amelia asked.
"Yes, him," Naricssa replied.
Severus was getting bored fast and was about ready to climb down but hesitated upon hearing Narcissa's next words.
"Word is that our favourite Mudblood is actually going to Hogsmeade with Potter. I thought she hated him," said Narcissa.
"She can have him," Amelia spat. "That blood-traitor deserves that piece of dirt."
"He sure does. Potter is quite a catch, though…I mean, if you are into blood-traitors. Although his Quidditch skills could never surpass Lucius'. I have seen him at his manor a few summers ago. He's such a natural and it gave him an excellent physique—"
After nearly losing his dinner from Narcissa's descriptions of Lucius' body, he quietly got out of the tree. Confused was the easy way to depict how Severus felt about Evans going to Hogsmeade with Potter. He thought she despised the ground he walked on, so why was she going with him to Hogsmeade?
As if on cue, Lily and her friends were seen coming out of the double doors and walking in the opposite direction he was. He kept his head down low hoping that she would not talk to him. His wish, however, was far from granted.
"Snape!" yelled Lily. He looked up to see Lily holding up the number one to her friends and striding towards him, her friends looking exasperated.
"Hey," Lily said as he was in talking distance.
"'Lo," Severus said lowly.
"Lily, hurry up, it's getting a bit nippy!" yelled Marlene.
"I'll meet you lot there by the tree then!" Lily yelled back. Her friends shrugged and raced down the hill.
She pulled and tugged her loose tresses out of her face. "How've you been? We haven't got to talk much recently."
"Fine," he said, looking around.
"So…" she began, also looking around. "Are you going to Hogsmeade with anyone? Maybe a girl?" she added with a gleam in her eye.
Severus snorted and gave a smirk whilst he looked as his feet. "Does it seem like I'd go to Hogsmeade with anyone?"
"Would you like me to answer truthfully?" she asked.
"No not really," Severus said. Lily giggled. He looked up at her face and noticed how flushed her nose looked from the cold, accentuating the freckles on her nose. "What? Is there something on my face?" she asked, suddenly starting to brush away non-existent matter off her cheeks and chin. He shook his head and realized he was staring.
"No, no, it's just that you look really cold," he replied.
"Oh, yes, I get cold rather easily," she said covering her nose slightly. "My mum says that when it's cold it brings out my freckles. I hate them," she said with a sour look.
"Your freckles?"
"Yeah."
"Why do you hate them? They look fine on you," he said. Look fine? What are you, her personal stylist?
"Oh, thank you. That's sweet," she said, her cheeks flushing.
"I mean, I was just stating a fact, didn't mean anything…" he muttered and looked around nervously again.
"What do you have there?" Lily asked, pointing to the letter in his hand.
"Nothing. Just a letter from my mum," he said dismissively.
"Oh."
"So I hear you're going to Hogsmeade with—"
"Potter, I know," she said, rolling her eyes.
"I thought you disliked him," Severus said curiously.
"I do…"
"Then why are you going with that bastard?" he asked nastily.
"He's not a bastard…he's just…"
"You don't even know why you're going with him do you?" he asked with a sharp look.
"I'm hoping he'll get over me. You know, stop asking me out every time he gets a chance. He'll realize what a bore I am and that he wants a girl more exciting."
"You're not that boring," Severus said.
"Wow, you're in a complimentary mood. What's the occasion?" asked Lily teasingly.
"Nothing is the occasion. I'm not complimenting you so much as telling the truth. And honestly, have you ever listened to Professor Binns speak? That's boring," Severus replied.
Lily giggled again and they stood in silence for a moment. "Well, it was nice talking to you," she said and headed down the hill, her robes fluttering in the breeze, causing her to hold it down with her hands.
"Anytime…" he said sardonically, though Lily didn't seem to catch the malice in his tone.
She turned around. "What?" she shouted.
"Nothing," he said a bit louder. She smiled and then continued to walk down the hill, leaving him to stand there watching her auburn hair drift behind her.
XXX
"Honestly, Lily," started Alice, "Why do you even talk to him? He's such a…I don't even know what. But he's not someone I'd want to be chummy with."
"Well, you aren't me, are you?" said Lily. The four girls were sitting under their favourite tree, resting in the grass as the breeze began to strengthen. Marlene and Emmeline clustered together with their robes tightly around them, their hair wiping their faces. It was nearly six o' clock and the dim sun was about to fall over the mountains in the distance, but the common room was too noisy and they haven't had time to spend alone together for a while.
"But after what he called you last year—" Marlene started.
"I got over it," Lily said shortly.
"You just 'got over it'? It's not like he even did it often. It was so out of the blue, it was—" Alice said.
"It was probably out of anger from what Potter and Black were doing to him. I don't forgive him for calling me that, but I want to move on from it. He's not that bad once you get to talk to him. A bit shy, but—" insisted Lily.
"Shy? Maybe when he's around you, but he seems like a loose cannon otherwise. Snapping at the littlest thing, starting rows with Remus for no reason…" said Emmeline quietly.
"Well…I can understand it sometimes. Other times, yes, he should just shut up and not start anything. I just want to get to know him. He seems rather interesting, like there is something about him that is special, but nobody knows but him."
They all laughed, except for Lily that is, feeling rather annoyed by her friends' behaviour. She stood up unexpectedly.
"I should go to the common room," said Lily.
"Why?" asked Marlene.
"Because I need to write a letter to my mum. It's her birthday soon," Lily lied.
"I thought your mum's birthday was in April," said Emmeline.
"Half-birthday then," said Lily curtly, and walked back up the hill towards the castle, clutching her robes tighter around her.
She entered the common room and saw Remus sitting on the couch next to an inviting fire. Deeply engrossed in his book, he jumped when Lily suddenly sat next to him.
"Oh, hello Lily," he smiled, closing his book.
"Hello. How are you?" said Lily.
"Good… Waiting for James, Sirius, and Peter to get back from their detention," replied Remus.
"What did they do this time?" she asked, rolling her green eyes.
"Cornered Rosier and Nott and got their arses nearly blown off. I told them not to mess with those two, but they were stubborn. Wilkes said some thick comment to Sirius and him leaving his home this summer, and, well…" Remus trailed off, shaking his head slightly.
"All hell broke loose," finished Lily with a knowing smile.
"That's putting it lightly. Hexes bouncing off walls, fists flying… Snape and I happened to be there and broke it up," Remus said.
"Snape helped break up a fight when Black and Potter were involved?" Lily asked incredulously.
Remus shrugged. "He is a prefect, as you know, and Flitwick was right there—he had to look as though he had some authority, didn't he? If the situation had been different, I think Severus would have been pulling the tails off floundering floberknocks along with the rest of them."
Lily winced at the thought of pulling off the ends of the particularly spiky, gelatinous cousin of the flobberworm for hours. They continued to talk conversationally and Lily felt immediately better. Something about Remus made her feel warm, as if she had known him forever. They had so much in common and conversation came easily to the two. She had always been fond of Remus. It was hard, though, especially with James always acting suspicious about the two, despite Remus' numerous times of telling him that there was nothing going on.
"Remus, I want you to answer something truthfully," Lily said quietly.
Remus leaned his head closer to hers, "Sure, anything."
"And please don't talk about this to—"
"I think I know what this is about," Remus said nodding knowingly. "Don't worry, I won't mention this to any of my friends, especially James."
"Do you think Potter will ever stop liking me?"
"Honestly, I haven't seen any sign of him doing that anytime soon," Remus said.
"But why, Remus? Why does he fancy meso much? Why not any of the hundred other girls in Hogwarts?" Lily asked desperately.
"Lily, you're a likeable girl. Smart, popular, attractive; you'd have to be dense not to know that," he said blushing slightly.
"Snape practically said the same thing," Lily said.
Remus raised an eyebrow. "Snape?"
"Well, kind of. He said that I'm perfect, which is a complete and utter lie. He also said that I was smart and popular and people are jealous of me. I found it all rather silly, but—"
"Since when do you talk to Snape?" Remus asked.
"Well, we don't talk often... But sometimes we do. I was just talking to him about half an hour ago, actually. And we talk in Potions," Lily said.
"Oh."
"Why? Is something the matter?"
"Well, no. But, I mean…it's Snape," Remus said.
"Yes, and?" Lily retorted. "Just because you don't like him—"
"Calm down, Lily. I'm just saying that maybe…I don't know…maybe you should be a bit careful around him," Remus said lightly.
"That's something I'd expect from Potter or Black, but I'm disappointed to hear that coming from you, Remus," she said shaking her head.
"Look, Lily. I trust your judgment and I know you're bright. Yet, this is Snape. Not only him, but the people he associates with…and he called you that name last year..." Remus said.
"Which wouldn't have happened in the first place if you had controlled your friends!" Lily bit back.
Remus glared at her. "Lily, you have no idea how hard it is to control them. They're my friends, and—"
"And you're a prefect!" Lily barked.
"Look, why is this conversation starting to centre around me?" he asked harshly. "I thought you were the one who wanted my opinion. If not, then I'll just leave."
With that, he grabbed his book and went through the door to the sixth-year boys' dormitory, slamming it behind him and causing a few first-years to gasp.
"That went well," Lily said to herself. She immediately felt guilty. She should have at least let Remus talk. She knew he wasn't going to ruthlessly start insulting Snape, but she grew tired of everyone telling her who not to be friends with. Sighing, she went up to her dorm to grab her books and start studying for the night.
Thank you Stalker's Stalker, Sunflwr1621, Daine, and JT for reviewing.
JT: Thanks a lot for pointing out my spelling and quotation errors. And this brings up something I've been wondering for a bit. I know that my punctuation and flow of the story may get a bit choppy and spell/grammar/style check can only go so far…I was wondering if anyone is offering to beta for me? It would be fabulous if one of you guys could. Thanks.