Disclaimer: Is this necessary by now?
A/N: I've had this chapter in my head for a while now and this chapter is a bit long so brace yourselves guys, I know some don't like to read uber long chapters…but I do so I suppose you'll have to deal with it. :)
And I must thank my fabulous new beta JTfanaddict for proof reading my fic and fixing those horrible errors so that this fic is actually readable!
X Hexes, Vexes, and Yellow Boots
"All of you shut up!" yelled Bellatrix over the loud chatter of the prefects. It was the end of the first prefect meeting of the year and due to the dull, nearly hour-long discussion of detention policy, side-talking had ensued. The chatter immediately stopped at Bellatrix's exclamation, however, and she gave a wide, slightly scary smile. "Thank you. Now, the old man--"
"I think you mean Professor Dumbledore," interrupted Lily gallantly.
Bellatrix shot her a look of malice before plastering on a fake smile. "Oh yes, my apologies. Professor Dumbledore wants us to help set up a ball," she finished, emphasizing the head master's name.
Hogwarts rarely held balls, and in the past they had only occurred in the event of a very special occasion, or when Dumbledore was in an extremely good mood and wished to share it with the rest of the school.
"Now, the ball will take place the night before winter hols and he wants us to think up the decorations and music. From now until the ball we will have prefect meetings every week, so don't miss a meeting," said Fabian Prewett, the Head Boy.
"Now leave, all of you! I have to meet someone in five minutes," snarled Bellatrix, who was anxiously looking at the clock on the wall and applying a thick layer of makeup around her eyes with her wand.
Excited chatter echoed out of the room as everyone left, and soon the news of a ball spread through the school like wildfire. Girls who were usually stressing out over Hogsmeade dates were suddenly full of anxiety about what to wear to the ball and procuring a date, despite it being over two months away. Lily thought all the hype was silly, but knew she'd think differently come Christmas time. As she walked towards the staircase, Slughorn came into view and tottered towards her in earnest.
"Miss Evans, I'm glad I caught you! I'd…I'd like you to meet a good friend of mine who is coming for tea around four this afternoon. I'm s-sure she'd be happy to meet you," he said, panting, his ample belly heaving with exertion.
"Oh, um, sure. In your office?" Lily asked him, groaning inwardly at her luck.
"Naturally. Thank you, Lily! Oh, I'm sure this will be enjoyable!"
Slughorn grinned with delight and turned on his heel, leaving Lily to head off to the library. When she got there, she caught sight of Remus studying in a secluded corner of the library. They had not spoken since their falling-out on Thursday, and she tentatively approached his table.
"Remus?" she asked timidly, wincing at the slight squeak in her voice. His head shot up at the sudden interruption, but upon seeing his intruder, his expression turned impassive.
"Yes?" he said dully, returning his eyes to his parchment.
"Remus, I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to blow up like that."This caught his ear and he looked up at her again. "I guess I just don't understand how hard it is for someone in your position. Still, you know you could put in a bit more effort; if they were really your best friends, they would respect the authority you have over them in the situations that they get into. They should understand why you have to do what you have to do."
Remus sighed. "Yes, I know. I suppose I'm a bit nervous sometimes…" he trailed off.
"Well don't be. They're your friends and they always will be, and frankly they bring it upon themselves… So, are we okay?" she asked, stopping herself before she launched into a rant about the other Marauders.
He smiled warmly. "Yes, we're fine."
Lily gave him an innocent kiss on the cheek, causing him to redden slightly. They began to study together and after a while, Lily noticed that he looked very peaky.
"Remus, you should really eat more vitamin C or something, you always seem to be sick. I'm really getting worried about you. And your mother too, you're always visiting her…why can't your dad just take care of her?"
"Well he does, but he needs some help and wants me to be there with her," he replied, never looking up from his book.
"Oh, well…does she have a serious illness, or--"
"No, just, um, gets sick a lot," Remus cut in. "It happens to a lot of people in my family."
"Maybe weak immune systems are genetic," Lily thought. Remus merely shrugged.
After studying the origins of ancient Aztec runes with Remus for an hour, Lily said goodbye and headed for Slughorn's office as she promised she would.
She walked out the door, humming something she had heard on the wireless a few days before returning to Hogwarts. As she passed a dark, narrow corridor on her right, she suddenly felt a searing pain in her skull. Clutching her head, she fell to the floor, her books skittering off in all directions, and she let out loud whimpers of pain as hot tears streaked down her cheeks. It felt as though burning coals were bombarding her brain and her skull was splitting in two. She had no idea what was happening, but after what felt like hours, the pain suddenly stopped. Her eyes were swimming with tears as she opened them and she looked around.
"Nice knickers, Mudblood," said a familiar male voice from the end of the dark corridor. Laughter followed, but faded in the distance as her attacker fled. Lily noticed that her legs were widely spread, giving anyone from the attacker's angle a good view of her underwear. Feeling embarrassed and worried, she hugged her long school robes around her body and managed to get to her feet, albeit slowly. Lily collected all her books and ran as fast as she could to the nearest bathroom. As she peered in a cracked mirror, she saw that her hair was a mess from ensnaring her fingers in it, and her face was ghostly pale. Her auburn hair and pink lips looked a bright crimson in contrast to her face; her emerald-green eyes looked dim and lifeless. Whatever it was she had felt, it was the most pain she had ever experienced in her lifetime. Cool, silent tears started to fall down her face and she cursed herself for not seeing or recognising her assailant. She assumed they were from Slytherin at first, but remembered that there was Muggle-born prejudice throughout the student body, not just among Slytherins. She swiftly came to a dreadful comprehension.
"This isn't the only time this is going to happen," she whispered to her reflection quietly, the bathroom walls barely echoing back her statement.
She knew that, until the war was over, being a Muggle-born was more dangerous than ever. Nobody had ever hexed her so horribly before, but now she was coming to the gruesome realization that Hogwarts wasn't as safe as she once believed it to be.
Wiping the lines of tears away from her face with trembling fingers, she took a brush out of her bag and began to groom her unruly hair. Tugging her long wool socks further up her legs, pulling her skirt down in the hopes of covering more skin, and wrapping her robes tightly around her, she left the bathroom. Lily hurried down the hall for Slughorn's office, struggling in vain to push the memory of her attack into the back of her mind.
XXX
He didn't want to go in. He was too worried, too upset, too angry, and too confused. Damn Slughorn and his incessant invitations! he thought angrily.
Severus Snape stood outside of Slughorn's office, occasionally peeking through the small window of the door to see his mother and Slughorn chatting happily over steaming tea, biscuits, and sandwiches.
Her brown hair reached her shoulders and her eyes squinted as she laughed. Her lips were bright red with lipstick that looked energetic against her pale peach skin. She wore her deep blue 'special occasion' robes and looked so much like a traditional witch that he barely recognized her. On any given day his mother wouldn't be considered beautiful or amazingly gorgeous, in fact she was quite mild-looking, borderline insipid; but when she was dressed up she looked...alive. He remembered looking at his parents' wedding picture when he was young, before it had a large web-like crack along it from his mother throwing it across the room one night. His parents looked happy--and, most importantly, she looked happy. Yet, having a child and growing into a depression tended to give a careworn look to people. He sighed deeply and sat with his back against the stone wall. Reminiscing about the past never did anything but depress him, although he was doing it less and less in terms of his parents. His head shot towards the end of the hall when he heard the loud clicking of what sounded like women's shoes. To his utter and complete surprise, Lily Evans appeared in the hallway, walking hurriedly towards him.
"Evans?"
"Snape?" she said in hushed surprise.
"What are you doing here?"
She sat down next to him and he had a strange feeling of déjà vu.
"Slughorn said that there was someone here that he would like to meet me…" she said uncertainly.
"Fuck."
"Watch your mouth, Snape!" Lily reprimanded.
"Oh, shut up," Snape snapped back at her. He exhaled in frustration and turned his eyes skyward. "The person he wants you to meet is my mother."
Lily quickly became her usual curious, happy self at that statement. "Oh really? Why is she here?" she inquired, cocking her head to the side with interest.
"Yes really, and Slughorn invited her so she came…"
"You don't seem very happy to see your mum."
"That's because I'm not," Snape scowled.
"Oh?" Lily's smile faltered at this and she looked taken aback.
He didn't respond and he didn't feel the need to talk to her anymore about his mother--or anymore in general.
"Well, did he want us to wait out here?" she asked.
"No," he replied crossly.
"Fine, then I'm going inside to introduce myself," she said, getting to her feet and brushing past him. Reaching her fist up to knock at the door, she paused and looked down at him. "Do you want to come in with me?"
"Didn't I just say that I didn't?"
Lily didn't say anything and knocked on the door before timidly walking inside.
XXX
"Miss Evans! So happy that you came!" boomed Slughorn as Lily entered the large, ornate room. "I would like you to meet my good friend, Eileen Snape! As I'm sure you have deduced, she is Severus' mother." Eileen stood up from her seat and shook Lily's hand--her hands icy cold, despite the fact that she had been holding a teacup just seconds prior, causing Lily to shudder slightly. Eileen looked very little like Snape on first glance. However, after a moment Lily began to notice a couple similar features: Her eyes were the same shape as Severus', although hers were a dark cerulean colour; her hands were large, with long and spidery fingers; and her jaw structure and ears were like Severus' as well.
"Very pleased to meet you, dear," Eileen said in a very motherly tone. "Professor Slughorn has told me a great deal about you already."
"Very pleased to meet you as well, Mrs. Snape," Lily said courteously, but she could have sworn that she saw Eileen's smile wilt slightly.
"We were expecting to see Severus as well, Lily. Have you seen him?" asked Slughorn, dropping himself down into a grand armchair.
"Well…I…um..." she stammered, but stopped when she heard the door creak open.
Severus' tall, thin figure appeared in the doorway and she heard a small intake of breath from Mrs. Snape. Lily had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing when she saw Mrs. Snape practically charge towards her son and cover his face with smeared kisses.
XXX
"Mother!" he hissed as his mother began to lick her thumb and wipe off the lipstick marks.
"Oh, Severus! How have you been, darling?" she asked, ignoring his protests and continuing to dab at the stains, only succeeding in smudging more.
"Fine, Mother," he replied through clenched teeth.
"Maybe we should give these two a bit of alone-time," Slughorn chuckled. "Miss Evans, grab a cup of tea and come this way. I want you to see a Muggle portrait I've recently acquired! It's by some fellow named Remburough," Slughorn told her.
"I think you mean Rembrandt, Professor Slughorn," said Lily as she went over to the table to pour herself a cup of tea.
"So, Sev," Eileen whispered anxiously. "Are you friends with that young woman?"
"No, not really," he said in an irritated tone.
"Oh, well you should be! Slughorn said she is very intelligent, and very talented for a Muggle-born! I hear she's in your Potions class as well. And she's very beautiful, Severus, don't you think?" Eileen added in an undertone as she looked over at Lily, watching Severus out of the corner of her eye for any reaction.
He followed his mother's gaze towards Lily, who was bending over to pour some tea for herself. The afternoon sun shining through the windows illuminated her hair, and a pale radiance surrounded her body, flattering her already appealing figure. Lily pulled a strand of hair behind her ear and began talking to Slughorn again. He snapped out of his stare and looked at his mother, a knowing smile spread across her face.
"What?" he asked angrily.
"I know that look when I see it," she smirked, giving him an all-knowing smile.
"What look?" he said quickly, growing irritated by the way his mother was watching him, as if she knew the innermost workings of his mind. He glanced at Lily again who was laughing heartily at something Slughorn said. "She's okay-looking, I suppose," he growled. "Nevertheless, that doesn't mean that I like her personality or anything else about her. She's very fake," muttered Severus, hoping his mother would drop the subject.
To his surprise, his mother nodded in understanding. "Okay, sorry for jumping to conclusions there. Fake people seem to be more and more abundant these days," she said bitterly. "She seemed like a nice girl, though."
"I'm not saying that she's not nice. I just don't like her."
The corners of Eileen's mouth twitched slightly and she turned back to her son. "Oh, Severus, I got you a little something. I had time to go to Diagon Alley before I Flooed here. I haven't been to that area since your first year." For a moment, her eyes looked very sad, but she blinked a few times and continued. "Anyway darling, I found this there and I believed you'd be interested."
Eileen pulled out her wand and summoned her purse over, causing him to recall the last time she did magic in front of him. She pulled out a book titled Dangerously Advanced Potions for Dangerously Advanced Wizards: From Livers to Pus, by Willard Earnshaw. He grabbed the book and flipped through the pages, quickly becoming absorbed as he glanced at the various chapter headings.
"Thanks," Severus said quietly, a small smile appearing on his face. His mother looked down at him with deepest affection.
"I'm glad you like it, dear. Found a bit of extra money and wanted to give you a treat. I had a book similar to this when I was your age. Best Potions student of my year. Like mother, like son, I suppose."
"Sure, except I wouldn't have married a blinkered Muggle," he mumbled without thinking, but didn't take it back.
"Severus, now is not the time to discuss this," Eileen sighed wearily.
"Eileen, Severus, would you like to come over and discuss this Remberg's painting?" asked Slughorn from across the room.
"It's Rembrandt, Professor!" Lily giggled.
"Yes, him."
Lily educated Slughorn about his paintings, Eileen and Slughorn took trips down memory lane, and Lily and Severus briefly discussed school and prefect duties—all of which, together, lasted a couple of hours. Eileen glanced at a clock on Slughorn's desk and announced her departure.
"Already, Eileen?" whined Slughorn, setting down his seventh pasty.
"I should get back home now," said Eileen solemnly. Severus looked at his mother's face and noticed that she looked a little like she normally did during the summer, now. The smile was there, but there was little emotion through it. "I'm sure I'll see you soon, Horace."
"Alright, Eileen," he said, and gave her a friendly hug.
"And again, nice to meet you, Miss Evans," Eileen smiled, reaching out for Lily's hand.
"Please, you can just call me Lily, Mrs. Snape," she replied merrily, taking the outstretched hand and shaking it.
"Yes, yes…Lily. You are a brilliant young woman, dear. I hope to see you again, as well."
"I hope so, Mrs. Snape. That would be lovely."
Severus cringed when Lily said this and tried as hard as he could to pass it off as a sudden move to open the door.
Eileen eyed him suspiciously and quirked an eyebrow. "If it's alright with the two of you, I'd like a chance to say goodbye to my son," she said.
"Oh, of course," said Slughorn, and he and Lily conversed elsewhere once more.
"Severus, it was so wonderful to see you again."
Severus nodded but did not look at her.
"Look at me, Severus," she said firmly. There were tears welling up in her eyes as she smiled at him tenderly and began to straighten out his tie and smooth out his robes. "I know I didn't see you for most of the summer, but…you make me very proud. One day, you'll graduate from this place, have a job, start a family…" she said quietly, and he could have sworn she took a fleeting look at Lily when she said the latter part of this statement.
"Mother, don't worry about me," he said and looked away from her eyes, his cheeks burning. He couldn't stand seeing his mother crying over him.
"I've done enough talking; I can tell you're getting aggravated. Goodbye, dear," she said hurriedly, giving him a peck on the cheek, which caused Severus' face to burn even hotter. Grabbing a handful of Floo Powder, she called out a last farewell to Slughorn and Lily and tossed the contents of her hand into the fire, which blazed a brilliant emerald green. She stepped into the fireplace and, turning to face them, yelled out "400 Spinner's End" in a clearly-enunciated voice before vanishing away in a flash of verdant flames
"It was very nice to see your mother again, Severus," said Slughorn jovially, who was suddenly at Severus' side, laying a hand on his shoulder.
"Yes…quite," he agreed quietly.
"Wonderful woman, that Eileen. Advanced witch…very friendly." Slughorn sighed, gazing off into space for a moment. He blinked and appeared to return to the office, where Snape and Lily were watching him quizzically. His face reddened and he waved his hand at the door. "You two may leave now."
Snape saw Lily roll her eyes at Slughorn's unintended bluntness and couldn't help but smirk.
"Severus, your mother was very nice. Why didn't you want to see her?" she asked inquisitively once they were outside of Slughorn's office.
"For reasons that have nothing to do with you," he growled, accidentally slamming the office door much harder than he had intended.
Lily rolled her eyes again and gave up on pursuing the matter. "So, what do you think of that ball in December?" asked Lily, trying to make conversation.
"Not much. Just another stupid way to cause more drama at this school," Severus mumbled with disinterest.
"Yeah, there is enough of that already. It's silly, really. But I'm looking forward to it more than Hogsmeade…" Lily added as an afterthought.
They didn't say anything until they got to the staircases. "Well, I'll see you later. I should probably study some more for that Charms essay," Lily said casually before ascending the stairs, leaving Severus alone in the corridor they had just walked through. He slouched off to the Slytherin dungeons in record time and was surprised to find the common room to be quite full. Nott, Wilkes, and Rosier were talking in hushed voices in the corner, but looked up when they heard him close the door.
"Snape, where've you been? You missed one of the best things all year!" yelled Nott.
"Slughorn wanted to see me and Evans, so we--"
"What a coincidence, we were just talking about the little Mudblood."
Everyone laughed and Wilkes told Severus to pull up a seat, which he reluctantly agreed to.
"A couple hours ago we saw Evans walking down the corridor from the library and we decided to have a little…fun," said Evan, a devilish smile contorting his face.
"Fun?" asked Severus, an eyebrow raised.
"Yeah, the swot didn't even see us. Wilkes hit her with the Giolovi hex, and--"
"You what?" said Severus loudly, but lowered his voice when they hushed him. "That could have done a lot of damage, you imbeciles; you could have even gotten yourselves expelled if you were caught. Especially since you lot were probably too dense to do it correctly in the first place," Snape hissed.
"Well, we hit her with it and she was clutching her head and started sobbing and everything… It was great," Evan grinned, learning back in his chair with a pleased look on his face. "We got a good look up that skirt of hers, too," he added, giving Severus a wink while the others howled with laughter.
Severus fell silent and felt his stomach turning with disgust. He looked at Rosier, who was smirking like an idiot. Something told him Rosier had a small thing for Evans; some sick, twisted infatuation. Rosier wouldn't be caught dead actually being in love with her, but he could admire her for her looks and nothing else.
"You know what we should have done, boys?" said Nott, breaking Severus out of his silent fury. "We should have pulled off her knickers while we had the chance."
"We already had her knickers in our possession before. We should have stuffed her in one of the suits of armour," said Wilkes. They laughed again.
"I'm going to go to the library," Snape mumbled, unable to listen to any more, and grabbed his bag.
"But you just got here!" protested Demetrius.
"Keen observation, Nott," Snape replied bitingly over his shoulder before exiting through the portrait hole.
What a stupid use of that hex; it would be more worthwhile on Potter, thought Severus as he entered the library. Madame Pince was looking sceptically at a small girl requesting to check out a book on unicorns, while the girl's friends stood next to her, all looking somewhat intimidated by the librarian. He walked between bookshelves and around dozens of columns until he approached his favourite armchair and table by a large window in a corner of the library. Turning left around the last bookshelf, he was surprised to see Evans doing her homework in his spot. He glowered and walked towards her.
She looked up and smiled slightly. "Oh, hello, Snape. Are you going to study for Charms as well?"
"You're sitting in my chair," he said stiffly.
Lily cocked a brow. "Your chair?"
"Yes, my chair."
"I don't see your name on it," she retorted playfully.
"It doesn't have to be."
"Just sit in the one across from me. It's the same chair."
"No, you're sitting in my chair."
Lily eyed him for a second before sighing loudly. "Fine, I'll sit in the other chair, although I think this is all rather inane."
She pushed her stuff to the other side of the table, stood up, and plopped down in the other chair.
"Thank you," mumbled Severus.
"Humph," muttered Lily. She crossed her legs and he noticed a large bruise on her knee.
"Where'd you get that bruise?" he asked, though he was sure he already knew the answer.
"Wha--oh…that…" she stuttered, pulling her wool socks further up her knees. "I was, um, walking with Marlene and slipped on something wet in the middle of the hall. I'm sure it was Peeves that put it there. So I, um, fell on my knee and, yes," she said quickly. Severus scoffed and shook his head, his limp black hair swaying. "What, you don't believe me?" asked Lily.
"Not in the slightest," he said, opening his Charms book.
"Well, it's true," said Lily.
"No, it's not. You got that from falling when some idiots in my house hit you with the Giolovi hex."
Lily paled and did not say anything. She went back to scribbling on her parchment. They sat in silence until Lily finally spoke again. "Who did it?"
"Nott, Rosier, and Wilkes," he said, also scribbling something on his parchment.
"What is it supposed to do?" she asked quietly.
"Well you were hit with it, weren't you?"
"Yes, but--"
"Well, how did it feel?"
"Like my head was going to split in two."
"Well, that's what it's supposed to do. William Giolovi invented the hex to cause extreme pressure and pain in the brain. Many have died from it, actually, when they were hexed repeatedly."
"And it's not an Unforgivable? It sounds similar to the Cruciatus Curse," said Lily, frenzied.
"Well, the Giolovi hex focuses on one area of the body. The Cruciatus Curse, on the other hand, hits every bone, muscle, and nerve in your body at once," Severus said very casually, as though discussing socks. Lily nodded and went back to her notes.
"Excuse me; I need to get another book."
He went through the library finding more books for his Charms essay. He thumbed the spines of the various books in the Charms section; the leather-bound tomes, torn parchment edges, the slightly musty yet woodsy smell of the old, cracking pages. He always enjoyed books and the selection at the library was vast, though he was annoyed that the more controversial books were either in the Restricted Section or not in the library at all. He found the book Charming Charms by Charming Charm-Makers: 1400s Europe and headed back to the table. He was a column away when heard soft sobs coming from Lily. He felt a little bad for her, but he couldn't bring himself to care that much. It wasn't unlikely that she would be attacked; she was a Muggle-born, after all, in a school full of Death Eaters in training and pure-blood fanatics. Not only that, but empathy was never one of his strong suits. He hesitated before imperturbably seating himself across her. She sniffled a bit and quickly wiped the tears from her face with a purple handkerchief before muttering "sorry".
He gave a sound showing that he heard her.
"I want to hex the arses off the lot of them," Lily said nastily. He raised his eyebrows, surprised by her language. "Oh, sorry, I forgot they're your friends," she said blushing from her own daring.
"No, please continue," he smirked.
"Unfortunately, I think I'll have to pass." She smiled wryly. She shifted in her chair and her calf grazed against his shin. Either she didn't notice, or she thought nothing of it, because she continued to sift through the pages of her book. Severus, however, couldn't just ignore this contact and he immediately felt an odd sensation crawling in the pit of his stomach. Get a bloody grip on yourself! It was an accident, he mentally scolded. He cleared his throat and Lily looked up.
"Are you hot?"
"P-pardon me?" he stammered.
"You look a bit flushed," Lily pointed out, and Severus felt his cheeks begin to blush a bright pink.
"No, no, I'm fine."
"You're good to study with," said Lily. "You aren't distracting like my friends. And you don't get dragged off all of a sudden like Remus does." He didn't say anything. "Look, I know you don't like me much, but—" started Lily.
"It's not that I don't like you…" he said idly, dipping his quill into an inkpot.
"But…"
"But it's just that you annoy me to no end, especially with your persistent questions, your unneeded self-deprecation, your—"
"Okay, okay, I get it!" Lily cut him off, narrowing her eyes at him.
"Shh!" a stern voice barked. "In case you haven't noticed, this is a library, not the Great Hall! So keep your mouths shut! We've had complaints," scolded Madame Pince, who seemed to have appeared out of thin air.
"Sorry," apologized Lily. Madame Pince stalked out of sight and Lily turned back to Severus. "How about we just become study partners, then, no friendship, just a strictly academic relationship? Is that satisfactory?"
He snorted. "Study partners? I don't think so."
"Well, why not?"
"I don't do the…'sharing notes and reading together' thing," he said.
"We're doing the latter right now. And don't be so condescending," Lily glared, immediately regretting even thinking of being study partners with him.
"The answer is no, Evans," he replied coldly, halting all conversation.
Lily heaved a frustrated sigh, causing someone nearby to whisper, "Shut up."
XXX
Lily looked out the window at the vibrant orange and red leaves swaying in the breeze and struggled to focus her mind on her Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson. The new teacher, Professor Elroy, seemed to prefer it when her students read their heavy Defence textbooks, as opposed to actually putting the theory into practise. The Marauders were laughing and passing notes back and forth relatively indiscreetly; Snape and Narcissa were talking quietly; and Marlene was practically snoring. At last, the bell rang, and everyone was anxious to get out of the room as quickly as possible. Lily had a free period and so she opted to head to the library to begin working on her Defence homework. To her consternation, Potter appeared next to her as she climbed up the stairwell.
"Yes, Potter?" sighed Lily, who knew she would not be able to get away from him easily.
"Going to the library, Evans?" asked Potter, smiling at her.
"Maybe."
"Want to do the Defence essay with me?"
"No, I'm doing Herbology."
"Even better!"
Lily sighed again in exasperation and continued to walk up the stairs. They strolled down the corridor in the direction of the library, James trying to make conversation all the while, and Lily shuddered inwardly when they passed by the narrow corridor where she had been hexed by the Slytherins.
Lily was thankful when they had arrived in the library, as James would have to be quiet, unless he wanted to face a lecture from the ruthless Madame Pince. They sat at a table in the Herbology section, Lily reading Plants of the Bermuda Triangle while James read Exotic Plants for the Shipwrecked.
"So, Evans…" started James, looking at her from over the top of his book.
She looked up. "Yes?"
"We're still going to Hogsmeade together, right?"
Lily sighed. "I suppose so."
"Great. I'm really looking forward to it," he grinned. "Me, you, together…"
"Oh yes…very fun indeed," she muttered shortly.
"Can't wait." Setting his book down, he took a glance at his watch. "Oh, I've got to meet Peter in the common room soon. So I'll see you later?"
"'Bye," Lily replied carelessly, not looking up from her book.
He stood up and gave her a pleased grin before walking out of sight.
"What the hell have you gotten you self into, Lily?" she groaned once she heard the library doors close, laying her book down on the table and burying her hands in her face.
XXX
"Well, I'm going with Amelia. We're thinking about staying at one of the inns for about an hour so we can…you know…" said Nott at dinner the night before Hogsmeade.
"Shag each other senseless?" finished Snape, nearly losing his appetite at the very idea.
Nott just smirked and resumed eating his shepherd's pie. Severus rolled his eyes and sipped his pumpkin juice.
"And you, Severus?" asked Rosier, taking a gulp from his own goblet.
"What about me?" Severus snarled, knowing what Evan was referring to.
"Hogsmeade. Who are you going with, if anyone?"
"I'm not going with anyone. I just want to get some candy, look at some books, and rest for the day," Severus answered. "Hogsmeade lost its sparkle by fourth year, if you ask me."
"You're boring when you aren't doing something spell- or potion-related," said Regulus, plopping down onto the bench next to Severus.
"Thank you," he said sarcastically.
"Anytime," acknowledged Regulus. "You can come with me to Hogsmeade. My date got sick."
Severus shrugged. He wasn't very hungry, so he looked around the room in a bored manner. His eyes strayed to the Gryffindor table and his lip curled when he spotted the Marauders. Potter was running his hand through his hair as usual, and Black was laughing, his perfect hair casually covering part of his face. Severus noticed a few girls staring longingly at Black and he could feel his shepherd's pie starting to rise up his throat. Peter looked nervous but excited about something, but that wasn't anything new. However, he became intrigued when he noticed Remus stand up abruptly. Lupin said something to his friends before walking briskly out the double doors, clutching his side slightly with a pained look on his face. The Marauders' faces immediately transformed with worry and they started conversing quickly in hushed voices.
"Something seems weird about that Lupin guy," Regulus said offhandedly, tipping some pork chops onto his plate.
"Yes, I've noticed that as well," said Severus. "And I plan on figuring out what it is," he added with determination, clenching his fists tightly on the table.
"Well good luck on that."
"Stuff it, Black," Severus spat.
"Will do," Regulus returned through a mouth full of mashed potatoes.
XXX
Lily woke up feeling oddly refreshed. Looking around and seeing that nobody was awake yet, she got out of bed and walked over towards a large mirror in the corner of the spacious room. It was still dark outside and, not wanting to turn on a light, she pulled out her wand and whispered, "Lumos." Raising the skirt of her floral nightgown and lowering the waistband of her knickers, she held the wand tip to her hip. In the mirror, she saw that the bruise from the incident in the corridor was almost gone. Her other bruises had healed within a few days of the encounter, but her hip was another story.
"What are you doing?" asked a groggy Marlene. Lily clapped a hand to her chest and whirled around in surprise.
"Why did you scare me like that?" whispered Lily.
"Answer my question first, and then I'll answer yours."
"I wasn't doing anything," she lied.
"You were looking at your side. What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
"You're a horrid liar, Lily," murmured Marlene. She got up, untied the scarf around her hair, and studied herself in the mirror next to Lily.
"Bloody rain yesterday turned my hair into a mess!" she whispered angrily, trying to tame her wild hair with her fingers.
"Afros are very trendy amongst the Muggles, Marlene," sniggered Lily.
"Yeah, well, Muggles are nutters," Marlene dismissed. "Oh well, I suppose it's braids today," Marlene sighed, getting back into bed. "Now what were you looking at?"
"Nothing, Marlene…I can't look at myself in the mirror?"
There was no response, just the quiet rumbles of Marlene snoring. Lily tried to fall asleep again, but after tossing and turning for a few minutes, she gave up, grabbed her wand and went downstairs to the common room.
The embers in the fireplace were dying down, glowing red and yellow. The hearth still gave off heat, however, and she sat close to it, the heat making her feel warm despite her thin nightgown.
All of a sudden, the peaceful silence was broken when the portrait door opened and Sirius, James, and Peter stumbled through, looking exhausted and rather pink in the face. When they reached the entrance to the boys' dormitory, Lily found her voice.
"Hey!" she barked.
The three stopped dead in their tracks and turned their heads slowly to look at the prying redhead. James' hand immediately went up to his unruly hair.
"Hello, Evans. Nice to see you this fine morning," he grinned sheepishly.
"You three were out quite early, don't you think?" said Lily.
"No, we just wanted to take a little morning stroll," said Sirius smoothly. Peter looked positively jumpy.
"Well you shouldn't be out this early, or late, as I would suspect is really the case," Lily scolded, placing her hand on her uninjured hip. "Dumbledore has made the rules stricter since the war started and you can't be out of the common room before six o'clock," Lily said. She looked at a piece of folded up parchment in Sirius' hand. "What's that?"
"This? Just a piece of parchment. There's nothing on it, you can check for yourself," said James at once, as Sirius hurriedly hid the parchment behind his back.
"No, that's alright. Something tells me you're telling the truth."
"Okay, can we go now?" asked Sirius irritably, feigning a loud yawn.
"Yeah, sure. I'm not in the punishing mood today," she said with a smirk. "Hey, where's Remus?"
The boys looked at each other pointedly before Peter said, "He's upstairs sleeping."
"Oh, that's odd. You four are usually inseparable." Lily raised an eyebrow in suspicion, but shrugged it off. "Oh, well, then. Go up to bed," instructed Lily.
Sirius and Peter walked up the stairs, leaving James with Lily, standing there rather awkwardly.
"Well…goodnight…er—morning," he said, his hand entangled in his hair again.
"Yes, good morning," she said quietly and James followed Sirius and Peter up the stairs to the boys' dormitories.
She heard his hurried footsteps fade away as she lay on the couch in front of the fireplace. She lounged in the foetal position, gazing at the glowing coals, her mind in a different world. Without warning, she felt her eyelids get heavy and before she knew it, she slipped off into unconsciousness on the Gryffindor couch.
XXX
"Need a hand?" said the hauntingly friendly voice. He looked down at himself; he had fallen in a mud-puddle. Of all the places to fall…a mud-puddle. He cursed again and looked up. All he could see was that blinding white light, but in front of him, a hand with a bright yellow glow was reaching out for him. For a second, he dared to look away from it, and all he saw was darkness; harsh winds nipped at his hair, and he seemed to sink deeper into the mud. He looked up and the hand was still there…waiting, extended for him. He was afraid to touch the hand…it seemed too sketchy, too mysterious. However, the glow seemed to put him under a spell. He couldn't look away and before he knew it, he reached out and held onto the hand.
"Good choice!" said the voice brightly, and the hand began pulling him at a dizzying speed. He felt wind go through his limp hair, his eyes began to water, and still there was that blackness all around him, except for the light and glowing hand pulling him forward.
Suddenly everything went into slow motion and his surroundings filled with more light, eliminating the darkness. Then, without warning, the pulling stopped and Severus fell flat on his face on a lawn of fresh grass, drenched with dew, before he blacked out.
Severus awoke from his dream with a sharp pain across his face, though instead of cursing whoever did it to pieces, he sat straight up, feeling light-headed.
"What's wrong with you?" asked Wilkes, pulling on his black, silk robes.
"You know, there are other ways of waking me up than slapping me," Severus growled.
Wilkes shrugged. "Regulus is waiting for you in the common room, just so you know."
"Thank you," muttered Severus. He quickly put on fresh clothes and went to the common room. A part of him wanted to find out more about his dreams, but another part of him felt as though the quest would be horribly stupid. Professor Herlownia would eat this up, he thought with a shudder. Professor Herlownia was the Divination teacher, and quite an eccentric and crazy one at that. In his fifth year, they spent nearly half the year on dream interpretation, though Snape thought the subject was useless; based on chance, not reality. He scored well in the class, however, by lying through nearly the whole thing. He decided that the dream wasn't important now and pushed it out of his mind.
The common room was abuzz and he spotted Regulus leaning against the far wall. His hair was growing longer now, and with a grimace, Snape noticed that he was looking more and more like Sirius.
"Ready?" asked Regulus.
"Sure," replied Severus.
They walked through the portrait hole and down the dim dungeon corridors. The torches on the walls shone down on the stone floor and the sound of their boots echoed off the walls.
"So, who was your date?" fished Severus, trying to break the awkward silence.
"Rachel Milonyoni of Ravenclaw. She got a nasty rash from a streeler yesterday, though. Some kid let one loose around the common room and Rachel wanted to hold it. I guess she didn't know that even though they only burn plants, they leave rashes on humans. Now her right hand is red, blotchy, and swollen." Regulus frowned, not bothering to hide his disgust.
"What an idiot," Severus said.
Regulus smiled. "Yeah, for a Ravenclaw she's not the sharpest quill in the shop. Still, she's all right. She's from a prevailing pure-blood family as well. Mum certainly approved, although the Milonyoni family doesn't associate with…prouder pure-bloods often…if you catch my drift."
Severus nodded and Regulus continued.
"They believe it would ruin their reputation among the general population if they were seen as pure-blood activists. But they have a strong influence, so that's first-rate."
"I see," said Severus in a bored tone.
"So what do you want to do when we get there?"
"Go to Honeydukes. Maybe the bookstore, too."
"Okay."
They walked through the door and entered the entrance hall where over a hundred noisy students were assembled, waiting for Mr. Filch to cross their names off his list of students allowed to go to Hogsmeade.
"Stand aside, stand aside! If you lot want to go to Hogsmeade then get in one ruddy line!" barked the familiar voice of Filch, as he made his way through the crowd of teenagers, his list of students in his hands, his cat Mrs. Norris at his heels.
He and Regulus stood in line talking about nothing significant when, to Severus' dismay, Black, Potter, Pettigrew, and Evans stood behind him.
"Why hello there, Snivellus!" said Black with a smug smile, glancing at his brother for less than a second.
"Sirius!" Lily chided.
"Well, sorry, Evans. I didn't know greeting someone was considered rude."
"That's not his name, Black," Lily snapped with a fierce look.
Severus glared at each them in turn, and he noticed that the Marauders were short one member.
"Where's Lupin?" he sneered. "Sick again?"
"And why the hell do you care?" spat James.
"Oh, just curious. Hopefully he's not doing anything…against the rules," Snape answered silkily.
"It should be against the rules to look so greasy," said Sirius. James and Peter laughed, though Severus noticed that Lily had a look in her eyes that was apologizing for her companions' behaviour.
"So, who're you going to Hogsmeade with?" asked Sirius in mock interest. He turned to look at Regulus and smiled pleasantly. "Oh, looks like our little Snivellus has a date."
James and Peter snickered again.
"Shut the fuck up, Sirius," Regulus retorted dangerously through clenched teeth.
"Tut, tut," Sirius replied, shaking his head and wagging a finger at his sibling. "I don't think Mum would be pleased to hear that language coming out of your mouth, little brother."
"I'm not your brother," hissed Regulus in a chilling whisper.
"What was that? Seems like you've developed Snape's mutter," Sirius smirked.
"I said: I'm. Not. Your. Brother," Regulus repeated clearly, his hands now clenched into tight fists.
Severus, James, Peter and Lily stood there, looking back and forth between the two boys, starting to get nervous.
"Next!" shouted the voice of Filch. He checked off Regulus and Severus' names from off the long list before nearly pushing them through the double doors. Severus glanced over his shoulder and saw that Sirius had an oddly blank expression on his face, a sight that made him smirk with satisfaction before walking down the lane with Regulus.
XXX
"Sirius, I'm sure he didn't really mean what he said," said Lily consolingly as they walked down the road towards the front gates of Hogwarts.
"He meant every word, Evans, I'm sure of it," Sirius spat. "Oh hell, why do I even care? I don't even like Regulus. He's just a thickheaded pure-blood fanatic like my parents and everyone else in the Black family…except for Andromeda that is…and my Uncle Alphard who gave me some gold when I went to live with Prongs, but that's about it. I reckon he'll be a Death Eater and make Mum proud."
The rest of the walk down was tense and quiet, but when they reached Hogsmeade, Sirius and Peter headed straight for Zonko's, leaving Lily and James to themselves.
"So…" stared James with a big smile. Lily grinned reluctantly.
"So…"
"Hey, how about we go to Honeydukes?" suggested James.
"Um, sure…why not?" said Lily. She had to admit, it was a good idea; it was one of her favourite shops. They entered the very crowded confectionery shop, and the familiar sight excited Lily as it always did. The walls were stacked with scrumptious sweets, some in brightly coloured wrapping, while others were in vast mason jars; some even had wings and flew around the store. The couple went their separate ways--James towards a group of boys daring each other to eat a chocolate-covered cockroach, while Lily searched for her favourite chocolate-pecan cauldron clusters. After a few moments searching, she was successful with her search, and scooped some from the large mason jar, and put them in a complementary Honeydukes shopping bags. Lily then went towards the blood lollypops, seriously considering owling a few to Petunia, when a familiar scoff on her left caught her attention.
"Are you actually considering buying those things?" asked Severus quietly as he looked at a display of elf-shaped honey sweets, obviously not wanting anyone to know he was talking to her.
"Maybe, for my sister," said Lily, also making it look as if she wasn't talking to him.
He snorted. "She may want something with less blood in it. May I suggest the sour worms?"
"You mean the ones that are still alive?"
"Of course."
Lily chuckled cautiously. Severus then left and bought his items at the register with Regulus. Lily continued to skim through the various chocolate items, when Alexander Jacobson greeted her.
"Those are really good. Gave some to my mum last year and she said that she would become a witch just for them," he said, pointing at the chocolate mint lollypops.
"Thanks for the suggestion," grinned Lily.
"So, are you here with anyone?" His cheeks began to flush a bright red. "If not, do you want to go with me to Madame Puddifoot's?" asked Alexander shyly.
"Sorry, I'm actually here with--"
"Lily, I was looking for you," said James, a couple of Honeydukes bags in his hands. He looked at the boy next to her and glowered. "Alright, Jacobson?" he asked rather bluntly.
"Potter," Alexander nodded in acknowledgement, looking at Potter with comparable dislike. He turned to Lily and waved lamely. "I think I have to meet someone now. See you around, Lily."
Lily waved her hand goodbye and he smiled weakly in return before leaving the store. She turned to James. "You could have been a bit more polite," she scolded.
"What did I do?" James asked, raising his hands in confusion.
She sighed, "Oh nothing. Just let me pay for these, and--"
"You don't need to pay, I will," offered James.
"Don't worry, I'm quite capable of using my own money," she said firmly.
After standing in line for what seemed like all day, Lily and James exited the store and walked down the puddle-filled streets of Hogsmeade. Students were everywhere; most were fooling around while older witches and wizards watched with affronted expressions. Some couples were necking quite publicly on benches and tables outside some cafés, while others bickered in the streets. A few young girls were sitting outside of the bookstore, reading the latest instalment of a popular book series that followed the adventures of a witch living amongst Muggles. In other words, Hogsmeade was quite lively. It had begun to rain slightly, but it didn't bother Lily, though it didn't make James' hair any neater, either. Passing a shop window, Lily caught a glimpse of the reflection of her bright yellow boots and a large puddle behind her. She smiled mischievously and took a running leap into the puddle, splashing water everywhere.
"What was that about?" laughed James.
"I don't know," she answered simply. "Don't you ever get sudden urges to do something random?"
"I…I guess so. Though the last time I jumped in a puddle was probably when I was ten."
"Maybe you should do it more often."
"Maybe I will."
She smiled a little and they continued to walk, Lily jumping in puddles occasionally. It began to rain harder, and Lily and James decided to go to the Three Broomsticks. The large tavern was full of students and inhabitants of Hogsmeade trying to escape the rain, but they eventually found a seat in the corner of the room.
"What can I get for you two lovebirds?" asked the busty, curvaceous Madam Rosemerta, her blonde hair in a dishevelled bun and her purple high-heeled shoes sparkling. Lily discreetly rolled her eyes at the description.
"Just a warm butterbeer for me, please," Lily smiled as she took off her coat and hung it on the back of her chair.
"Shot of firewhiskey, please," said James in an exaggeratedly deep voice.
"Two butterbeers it is," Rosemerta smirked. She hurried off towards the bar, her purple shoes clacking as she ignored the turned heads of several adolescent boys.
Lily kicked James under the table, noticing his gaze lingering a little longer than necessary on Rosmerta's figure.
"OUCH!" he exclaimed, grabbing for his leg.
"Sorry," she said with a fake smile.
They soon got their warm butterbeers, in large glass mugs; Lily looked out the large window and quietly watched the rain hit the cobblestone streets. She had a strange feeling suddenly and looked at James, who was watching her dreamily over the top of his glass.
"Stop looking at me, Potter," she snapped, a blush creeping its way up her cheeks.
"Why?" he grinned.
"It's making me uncomfortable."
"I can't help it, Evans. You're just so—"
"Utterly repulsive?"
They both turned to see Narcissa Black snickering with Amelia Bulstrode and Reina Gulmturmble of Ravenclaw. The girls held mugs of butterbeer in their hands and they all wore black robes with deep silver fur trim around the cuff. The three looked ridiculously over-dressed and out of place.
"What do you want, Black?" Lily glared.
"Shut up, Mudblood," snapped Reina.
"Call her that again and you'll regret it Gulturmble," James snarled, whipping his wand out of his robes.
"Potter, please…they're not worth it," Lily tried to soothe.
"She just called you—" James argued.
"I know what she called me, but please…"
James reluctantly put his wand back in his robes, but his hazel eyes burned with fury.
"It's really a pity, Potter. You, coming from such a long line of aristocratic pure-bloods and falling for muck like Evans. Though your parents are quite the blood-traitors, aren't they?" Narcissa said smugly, looking as her nails and giving him a cold smile.
"Don't bring Evans or my family into this, Narcissa," James warned.
"Or what? You're going to sic Evans on us? We wouldn't be able to stand the stench if she got any closer to us," she jeered.
James made a sharp move towards his wand again, though Lily had a vice-like grip on his arm before it got there.
"Leave us alone. Now," Lily said icily as her voice shook with irritation, her green eyes penetrating Narcissa's blue ones.
"Look, girls. Evans is trying to be intimidating! That is a laugh. Let's see what else she can do. Hey, Mudblood, can you roll over?" Amelia asked. The girls shrieked with mirth. Lily was surprised all of Hogsmeade couldn't hear them—though, certainly, many people in the pub were starting to watch the scene with interest.
Lily's face grew warmer. Don't let them get to you, she told herself. They want this reaction from you. Get a hold of yourself, Lily. She peeked at James and he was still looking at Narcissa, Amelia, and Reina as if he wanted to mangle them.
"Oh, I think we embarrassed her! Look, she's flushing!" howled Amelia.
Narcissa then took a step towards Lily and "accidentally" fumbled with her mug of butterbeer, which proceeded to spill all over the front of Lily's white blouse and in the lap of her long grey skirt.
"Oops, didn't mean for that to happen," Narcissa gasped with a hand over her mouth, her comrades biting their tongues to keep from exploding with laughter. James froze and the entire tavern was quiet; even Madam Rosemerta, who was taking orders from a table of goblins, was silent.
Lily shuddered with pent-up anger before conjuring up that sweet smile again. "An accident? You mean like this?"
Lily stood up and poured her entire cup of amber liquid over Narcissa's blonde tresses. Narcissa screamed and pushed her sticky, wet hair out of her face. Lily, lost in the moment, laughed hysterically.
Narcissa took off her expensive coat, throwing it to Reina, and growled. "You putrid, lowlife piece of rubbish!" Without warning, Narcissa slapped Lily hard across the face.
At this, Madam Rosmerta finally had the sense to yell "Enough!" She strode across the room, but it was already too late. Lily placed her palm on her burning cheek and gritted her teeth before lunging at Narcissa; falling to the floor, they began pulling, hitting, and scratching anything they could get their hands on: hair, clothes, jewellery, limbs…
Some girls gasped, others giggled in disbelief. The boys cheered the combatants on tastelessly, and the adults in the tavern shook their heads in disgust. After he snapped out of his daze, James promptly grabbed Lily around the waist and tried to pry her away from Narcissa, though Lily's flailing limbs didn't make it an easy task.
"Let me go! I haven't wrung her scrawny little neck yet!" Lily seethed.
"You filthy Mudblood! You broke my necklace! Wait until my mother hears about this!" Narcissa screeched.
The two girls looked a mess; Narcissa resembled a wet mop, while Lily's clothes looked like they had been run over by a hippogriff. Boys were still whooping and hollering but stopped as soon as the door of the Three Broomsticks flew open.
"Miss Evans! Miss Black! Just what in Merlin's name do you two think you're doing?" yelled the harsh voice of Professor McGonagall. McGonagall ran towards the girls, Hagrid behind her. Lily's kicking ceased immediately.
"You two are coming with us this instant!" McGonagall hissed. Her lips were in the familiar thin line and her face looked livid. Hagrid stepped outside while McGonagall waited for the two girls by the door. Another whistle pierced through the room as Lily and Narcissa exited the Three Broomsticks.
"Detention tomorrow with Mr. Filch, Mr. Malarstein!" yelled McGonagall before exiting. James ran out after them, tripping over a chair on his way.
"Professor, it wasn't Evans' fault! It was—"
"Potter, this is none of your concern. I thank you for restraining Miss Evans, but other than that—"
"It was Narcissa who started it, though! She's the one—"
"James, I don' think yeh wanna get involved," said Hagrid quietly.
"But—"
"Mr. Potter, please go find Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew and leave Hagrid and I be! As I've said, this is none of your concern!" McGonagall rubbed her temples tiredly.
James hesitated before giving up on arguing any further, and sulked back into the tavern as the foursome walked back along High Street.
They trudged back up the long drive towards Hogwarts through the light rain, Lily feeling too ashamed too look at anyone, instead hanging her head and looking at her yellow-clad feet contrasting brightly against the muddy ground.
What if I get detention? Or can't go on anymore Hogsmeade weekends? What if I'm expelled? Her brain buzzed, growing more distraught by the minute.
"What were yeh thinking back there, Lily?" whispered Hagrid in her ear, making her start.
"I…I don't know what came over me," Lily sighed, wringing her hands. "I guess after years of being called a Mudblood…I just reached my boiling point," she reasoned, still feeling disgraced.
Hagrid sighed and stroked his bushy beard, "Hey. 'Ow's 'bout yeh come to me cabin a bit la'er for a cuppa?"
She looked up at him, "Really? I haven't been to your cabin since--"
"Yer first year when yeh was crying when that brute Malfoy said yer kind didn' belong at Hogwarts. I found yeh, remember? Crying on the edge of the forest," Hagrid reminisced, a hint of fondness in his voice. "So, yeh think you're up fer it?"
The rain poured harder and Lily heard Narcissa whining about her soaked clothes.
"Hush up, Miss Black! Nobody cares if your robes are house-elf clean only," snapped McGonagall.
A satisfied smile slowly graced Lily's features. "Yes, I'm up for it."
A/N: Long chapter, huh? Much thanks to OutForAWalk, Stalker's Stalker, Idancer, romancebookworm4ever, and my lovely beta JTfanaddict for reviewing the last chapter.