A/N: Wow, its been, what, 2 months? But I'm back and should be more on track now. I'd like to announce that all previous chapters have been edited by my amazing beta Nom De Plume! So now all my chapters should be much more readable. Oh, almost forgot to point out the name change of the fic! Hope you all enjoy this chapter, guys and please review if you'd like to give me some suggestions, comments, or questions. I love to hear from my readers!
X The Anima
Severus shakily got up from the wet grass and pulled his limp hair out of his eyes. It was foggy out, yet through the mist he could see a young woman. Her skin was fair and her hair was saffron yellow. She wore a very sheer, long, pearl-white robe which twinkled like the stars in the sky; her eyes were a dazzling sapphire. Barefoot, the woman walked towards Severus with a small smile on her face.
"W—what…who are you?" he stuttered. "And where the hell am I?"
"Of course you wouldn't recognise this place…" she said. Her voice was soft, yet he could have sworn that her tone held a bit of audaciousness.
"Why would I recognise this place? This is a dream. I could be anywhere," he said. He didn't know why he was talking to the stranger with such rationality, but he couldn't find it in himself to be nasty towards her.
"You've been here before," she said simply. "I believe you will be arriving momentarily."
Severus looked around for a moment to see if he recognised any of it. They were on a grassy hill and a large building could be seen about a hundred feet away. He reckoned it was a house. There was a great fig tree in the front of the home with low shrubs surrounding it. Ivy covered the old-fashioned house and a dirt road was seen leading up to it. Severus looked curiously at the young woman.
"Who are you?" Severus asked with edge.
"I? I am an Anima," she said majestically. Her walk was ethereal, as though she was walking in thin air.
"An Anima?" Severus whispered.
"Someone should brush up on their divination," she said.
"I don't take that rubbish anymore," Severus said contemptuously and folded his arms across his chest.
The anima raised a flaxen brow and walked towards him. "Your pride is displeasing."
Severus opened his mouth but the Anima interrupted. "Say nothing."
He shut his mouth and glared at the beautiful young woman across from him. "Why are we here?"
"You'll see in a moment. Ah, here they are," she said softly and looked down the road. Through the fog, a "pop" was heard and a figure holding a small bundle was seen.
"Who is that?" Severus asked anxiously.
"You don't recognise your own mother?" the Anima asked.
Severus was surprised to hear that his mother was in his dream and was curious when the figure began to walk fast in his direction.
Eileen wore a long black hooded cloak; the bundle in her hands was wrapped in a dark cotton material. He wondered if his mother could see him, but was more curious as to why she was going to this old house. Thinking she would say something soon enough, Severus stood silently along the dirt road. He was caught short, however, when his mother walked right past him as though he wasn't there; her head bend low over the blanket.
"Mother?" Severus called, but she kept walking closer to the house.
"She can't hear you," said the Anima with an amused smile.
"Mum?" Severus called again, ignoring the Anima.
"I said she can't hear you," she repeated.
"Well why the hell not?" Severus asked.
"Come with me," she ordered, walking purposefully up the road towards the home.
Severus felt rather put out but hesitantly followed the beauty. They soon caught up with his mother, who knocked on the door quietly. Severus heard an odd whimper and his mother shush gently.
He stood next to his mother and waved his hand in front of her face, but she didn't react. Instead she sighed heavily and knocked on the door again.
Severus looked at the Anima. "Is this some sort of a joke?"
"No joke. Just wait," she said.
This was one of the oddest experiences of his life. Despite the fact that he knew he was dreaming sensations of reality flowed through his veins. He became more worried when he suddenly believed the scenery looked vaguely familiar. He was brought out of his thoughts by the door to the home opening slightly.
"Oooh, it's you, Missus Eileen," said a high-pitched voice. Severus looked down to see a small, brown-eyed house-elf.
"May I come in, Dolie?" said the voice that so clearly belonged to his mother.
"Oh yes. Messer and Missus Prince are inside. Dolie thinks they've been expecting your visit," said Dolie.
Eileen walked inside the building, Severus and the Anima following her. They stood in a quaint foyer with applewood floor and chartreuse paint on the walls, giving the home an inviting yet elegant feel. To his far right and left were corridors leading to applewood doors. Severus looked up to see a high ceiling with a textured glass window letting the dim light of morning shine into the entrance hall. There were two grand stairways to his left and right, both ending on a single landing in which two more hallways and doors could be seen. Right in front of him was a short breezeway, which, though dark, was lit with a few small torches.
Eileen stood in the foyer quietly and took her hood off of her head, revealing long black hair and a vibrant, full face. She looked over a decade younger and her pallid cheeks were flushed with life. Another odd whimper was heard from the bundle in her arms and Eileen quickly unwrapped the blanket, exposing a baby—it was Severus. Despite how startled he was at seeing himself as a baby, he was also intrigued and walked closer to the babe. The infant's tuft of hair was inky black and he was now whining slightly.
"Shh. Don't you want to meet Grandma and Grandpa?" she cooed. It seemed to calm the baby down because he stopped making noises and proceeded to stick his fingers in his mouth.
"Ew, don't do that," Severus said quietly, with a look of disgusted fascination on his face.
He looked at the Anima who smiled fondly at the scene. "Wait a second. This has happened before, hasn't it?" Severus said.
The Anima nodded.
"This…this is almost like a Pensieve," Severus said quietly.
"Similar though they are, differences overshadow," she said.
"Like what?" Severus asked.
"Well, you are dreaming," she said matter-of-factly.
"Yes, and?" Severus said, glancing back at his mother and the baby.
"And? There is a significant difference. When one goes into a Pensieve, they are in a conscious state. You, on the other hand, are in your personal unconscious," voiced the Anima. Severus had a look of confusion. "I thought you were smart."
"I am," Severus snapped.
"Your assignment is to read up on Animas and personal unconsciousness," said the Anima tiredly.
"What gives you the right to tell me what to read?" said Severus. "You're not real."
"Shh, shh, quiet," hushed the Anima.
"Messer and Missus Prince will see you now," said Dolie.
Eileen walked through the dimly-lit breezeway and Severus and the Anima followed.
They entered a large foreroom with the same applewood floor and green walls that graced the foyer. A tasteful seating area graced the living room: There was an elegant blue velvet sofa cut in curvy proportions and framed in a blackwashed wood finished with carved legs. On both sides of the sofa stood matching chairs and across from it, a matching armchair. In the middle of the seating arrangement was a wooden coffee table painted blue with china on it. What was more interesting than the set up of the room were the two people sitting on the sofa. An old man and woman sat beaming at Eileen.
"Mum, Dad," she said happily and walked over to them.
"Eileen, it's been far too long, darling," said the woman, who Severus assumed was his grandmother. The only resemblance Severus had to her was their lips; otherwise they looked like polar opposites: she had a light brown bob and light blue eyes.
"Welcome home, pumpkin," said the old man, Severus' grandfather, who looked very similar to Eileen—both had dark brown hair, the same shaped eyes, and the same face shape. "And who is this fine young man?"
Eileen giggled and showed the baby off to her parents.
"What is his name, darling?" asked his grandmother, tickling the baby's exposed skin.
"Severus," said Eileen fondly.
"My, isn't that a harsh name for a baby?" his grandfather asked gruffly.
"I think it sounds lovely," Eileen defended and took a seat in the armchair. "Such a powerful name as well."
Severus never remembered seeing his mother's parents and was rather surprised to see them in such a wealthy home. He then grew angry.
"Since when did my mother live in such a nice house?" Severus asked the Anima.
"She was raised here," the Anima said.
"I figured that much out," said Severus. "But if they're so wealthy, how come I have to settle for secondhand items? Shouldn't she have money left over from her parents?"
"Money brings out the worst in people, which you will see soon enough," said the Anima.
"How is…your Muggle?" asked his grandmother sourly.
"You mean my husband?" Eileen said quietly, combing her fingers through Severus' hair.
"Spent all of your money yet?" grunted the grandfather, his eyes narrowed.
"He didn't mean to do it that one time, Father," said Eileen. "He just got…carried away."
"Carried away, alright. Filthy Muggle spent half your money gambling, I reckon," he said.
"Father! Th—that's not true," insisted Eileen.
"I told you that you should have married your own kind," mumbled her mother.
"Mum! I expected more from you!" said Eileen chided. "I love him and he loves me."
"I understand that, honey, but…what he did with your money is inexcusable," said Mrs. Prince.
"And why are you living in that home in Yorkshire?" asked Mr. Price with a small look of disgust.
"Because I wanted to live with him and he has lived in that particular area of Yorkshire all his life," said Eileen.
"Have you told him yet?" asked Mrs. Prince.
"Told him what?" said Eileen, albeit in a bit of a fidgety manner. Severus could tell she knew what her mother was talking about.
"That you're a witch!" said Mr. Prince loudly, causing an almighty cough to course through him.
"Um…no…not yet," said Eileen softly.
"So, he's going to find out the hard way?" asked Mrs. Prince.
"He will find out soon, Mother," said Eileen. Mrs. Price looked away and Mr. Prince was glaring intently at the table. "I just want to get settled now. I just had Severus a few months ago and we're already having rows. I want the timing to be perfect."
"Well, if that Muggle really cared about you and Severus, then a few rows wouldn't be a problem," said Mr. Prince. Dolie popped into sight and placed teacups filled with hot water, Earl Grey tea bags, milk, lemon, sugar, and biscuits on the blue coffee table. As each of the Princes fixed their tea as they preferred, a tense moment of silence fell. Severus turned to the Anima again.
"Why is this significant?" Severus asked.
"I thought you'd want to know what kind of people your mother's family were," said the Anima.
"Well, they sense what kind of man my father is," said Severus darkly. His anger began to show and his face grew very warm. Impulsively, Severus stormed out of the room, through the front door.
"Wait, where are you going?" asked the Anima.
"Anywhere I can go so I can wake up. I can't believe her!" Severus said, kicking the dirt road.
"She didn't know at the time, Severus," the Anima said soothingly.
"Her own parents figured it out! He was already gambling and probably spending all his money on booze and cigarettes," Severus yelled. "She came from such a rich, pure family and now we have so little that I can barely afford dress robes, let alone books! And she let it happen!"
Severus panted heavily and continued; he was on a role. "They didn't want her to marry a fucking Muggle, but what did she do? Marry that piece of trash! I…I could have been a pure-blood."
"You aren't proud to be a half-blood?" asked the Anima.
"I'll get around to asking about how you know so much about me later, but…" Severus said through gritted teeth. "I'm not what you would call proud. Though I do find pleasure in the fact that I am much greater than some with the purest blood in England."
"Yet, you would be happier as a pure-blood?" the Anima said.
"Of course," Severus replied harshly.
The Anima took a deep breath and pushed her flowing blonde tresses from out of her face. "We shall meet again."
"Wait, you're going to just…leave?" Severus asked.
"Yes. I believe I implied that by saying 'we shall meet again'. Honestly, for such an intelligent boy you can be quite dense," said the Anima.
"Does this mean I can wake up now?" Severus asked.
"Yes," said the Anima. A blinding white light suddenly obstructed his sight and he felt as though he was falling…
Severus woke up with a gasp. He felt a cool sweat on his forehead and a familiar sound of snoring reached his ears. It was still night, and the rest of boys in his room were still sleeping. Though he had just woken up, his dream felt like a hazy memory now, and though he felt silly being pushed around by a figment of his unconscious state…he resolved that a visit to the library must be squeezed in tomorrow evening.
XXX
"So then he said that the Ministry should be run by salami. He considered them more competent than the current administration. So I told him to hold a petition for the immediate removal of the Minister and suggest salami or other meat products instead. The sad part is that I think he is really going through with it," said Remus. Lily shook her head and giggled; the ideas Sirius Black comes up with never ceased to amaze her.
"Well, to tell you the truth, Sirius may be on to something," Lily said lowly.
"I know what you mean," said Remus seriously.
The two decided to watch the Gryffindor Quidditch practise (which took place earlier than usual that day) and walked over to the Quidditch Pitch. Flying streaks of red and gold were seen in the distance.
"Oi! Wait up!" said a carrying voice behind them. They turned and—speak of the Devil—saw Sirius Black running toward them with a piece of parchment in his hand.
"Hey Moony," said Sirius. "Evans."
"Black," nodded Lily.
Sirius rested his forearm on Remus' shoulder, "Okay, how does this sound? 'The current authorities at the Ministry of Magic are not giving the British citizens of the wizarding community the protection they need to feel safe and secure. That is why we suggest the use of salami to control the Ministry of Magic. Salami are not only tasty, but, if under the proper charm, could surely give the current administration a right kick in the arse when it comes to politics and needs of the people. Thus—'"
"Thus you are thicker-headed than previously thought," Remus said.
"Come on, we only need a few hundred signatures," said Sirius.
"I'll sign," Lily rummaged through her purse, pulled out her pen, and signed her name on the parchment. "There, now you have a one in ten zillion chance of getting that petition passed."
Sirius and Remus shared a look of shock.
"Okay, this is obviously a doppelganger. WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH LILY EVANS?" Sirius wailed, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her.
"Yes, I'm her twin sister. Signing pointless petitions to raise the hopes of helpless teenagers before they come crashing down," Lily said, wiggling her fingers for effect.
"Moony, we need to keep a close eye on this one. She's nothing but trouble," said Sirius, wagging his index finger at Lily.
"I agree," Remus nodded vigorously.
"By the way, Evans, you should wear that outfit more often. We don't see enough bare leg at this school," said Sirius.
"Black!" cried Lily, tugging down her dress. It was long-sleeved, and black except for two thick white stripes. "Who are you, Potter?"
"I don't know, could be. Though I'm obviously more attractive, eh, Evans?" said Sirius, wiggling his eyebrows energetically.
"Sirius Black, you are such a sleazeball," said Lily.
"Aw, don't make me blush, Evans," said Sirius. "Do you think I should add 'All Hogwarts girls should wear short Muggle outfits twenty-four/seven' to the petition? Well, only the pretty girls, I mean."
"You're horrible!" Lily exclaimed, though a small smile was threatening to creep upon her face.
"You have nothing to worry about, Evans. I mean, look at you," said Sirius. "I mean people like…Snape."
"Snape isn't a girl," said Lily.
"Lily is right. Based on what we saw when Prongs took off his pants last year, I believe Snape is one hundred percent male," Remus muttered.
"Are you sure?" said Sirius with a vicious sneer. "As far as we know, it could have just been an odd-looking vagina."
Sirius emitting a loud, barking laugh and nearly fell over while it was clear that Remus was trying as hard as he could not to laugh along with his friend.
Lily shuddered at the thought of being embarrassed that way and grew irked by the way Remus and Sirius could find enjoyment from that horrible occurrence.
"I bet five cars can fit up that nose of his," said Sirius. "No! Five of those lemonzines!"
"And I'll hit you with a car if you don't shut up. And I think you mean limousine," Lily snapped.
"Ah, Lily, nice to have you back!" Sirius clapped.
XXX
James narrowly missed a Bludger as he tried to catch the Quaffle just thrown to him by Elizabeth Moore. He spun around their Seeker, William Moss, and headed to the hoops and hurled the Quaffle toward the middle hoop, only to groan loudly when their keeper, Marlene, caught it.
"Sorry, James. Try again," said Marlene.
He didn't know why he was so off today, and even though it was only practise, he strove for perfection when it came to Quidditch. While their captain, Elphias Doge, talked to Elizabeth Moore about how to avoid stooging, James heard someone call his name. He turned towards the Gryffindor area of the seats and saw Remus, Sirius, and Lily. The moment he saw the her, he felt his insides turn to mush and freeze. As he flew down to the trio he felt his stomach give a pleasurable lurch. He couldn't believe how gorgeous she could look in a simple black dress. She folded her arms and was shivering slightly.
"Ya look a bit rusty today, James…no offence," Sirius said.
"I know," James said, messing up his hair with one hand while the other was on his broom. He glanced at Lily who was looking at the Quidditch practise, probably watching Marlene. She scratched her nose; the simplest move she made had a feel of grace. Her cheeks looked flushed from the cold and the light breeze made her eyes water slightly. His eyes, not so tactfully, kept flickering southward.
"Potter?" said Lily, noticing that he was looking at her.
His head snapped up. "Er…are you cold?" James blurted out.
Lily glanced down at her chest and blushed. She opened her mouth, obviously about to murder him verbally, but was interrupted by someone close by saying, "Lily!"
She looked around to see Alexander Jacobson walking towards them. Why does he want to talk to her? James wondered with a slight scowl on his face.
"Oh, hello, Alexander," said Lily pleasantly, looking up at the tall brownish-blond boy.
"Can I talk to you?" Alexander asked and looked at the rest of the boys. "Alone?"
"What do you want to talk to her about that can't be said in front of the rest of us?" James asked rudely, fighting down a sudden urge to strangle the boy.
"Potter!" Lily hissed, irritation materialising in her green eyes.
"No, no, it's alright. I'll just say it here," Alexander insisted. He turned to Lily who looked at him with curiosity, her lips parted slightly. "I know it's kind of early but… It would be wicked if you would accompany me to the Christmas ball."
James panicked. She won't say yes, she barely knows who he—
"Yes…yes, I'd love to," said Lily happily.
James felt like a Bludger hit him in the gut. Transfiguring Jacobson into a cockroach didn't seem like such a terrible idea at that moment.
Alexander let out a great breath. "Cool. I'm really looking forward to it. I was afraid someone already asked you."
"No, you're the first one," Lily said.
"Wow, I'm pretty lucky then, eh?" Alexander said.
"I guess. I didn't know anyone else really wanted to go with me," Lily said.
"Are you joking?" Alexander chuckled. "You're probably one of the most desirable women at Hogwarts. I mean…who wouldn't want to go with you?"
"Oh Alex, that's not true," said Lily lightly.
"Of course it is!" Alexander exclaimed.
James felt his hands get sore as his grip on his broom became tighter and tighter.
"Prongs, I think they want you back," Remus said, pointing at his team-mates waiting for James pointedly.
"Oh, okay. I'll talk to you lot later," James said, glancing at Lily, but she wasn't looking at him. She and Alexander were talking quietly and giggling.
James flew back to the practise and got up to speed; he soon caught the Quaffle from Marlene. He dodged one of the Beaters and threw the Quaffle as hard as he could toward the upper hoop, imagining the hoop as Alexander's head. He scored and heard Frank yell "good one!" He did an over-exaggerated victory lap around the Quidditch pitch and looked into the stands, expecting to see Lily watching him, perhaps yelling words of praise. The large beam on his face slid off automatically as he didn't see his favourite redhead next to Sirius or Remus. He looked around and saw Lily and Alexander leaving the pitch together. His heart fell forty feet and splattered on the grass as he saw what she was wearing over her dress: Alexander's blue and bronze Ravenclaw sweater.
"James! Pay attention, you idiot!" said a voice sounding vaguely like Marlene's and before he knew it, he had crashed into one of the hoops. His vision turned black.
XXX
Severus stood outside of the library, waiting for Lily to show up. He would just stay in the library, but the library was quite loud at this time and the dungeons were much more peaceful. After waiting for nearly twenty minutes, Lily showed up with, to his surprise, Alexander Jacobson who was holding her heavy satchel over his shoulder.
"Thanks for walking me," Lily said softly.
"No problem. Thanks again for saying…well…yes," Alexander said.
"I want to apologise for James' behaviour," Lily said. "He tends to act like a prat around other guys. He's a bit protective, I guess."
"It's alright," Alexander said. "But, you don't belong to him or anything."
"You try telling him that," Lily said. "Oh and before I forget…"
Lily took off a blue-and-bronze, Ravenclaw sweater and handed it to Alexander.
"Oh, I nearly forgot about it. I suppose it's because it blends in so well on you," Alexander said. "I'm actually surprised you aren't a Ravenclaw, you're so clever."
"Thanks. You're pretty clever yourself," Lily said flirtatiously.
Alexander leaned down and kissed Lily on the cheek before and walking down the corridor, with a little spring to his step, not noticing that Severus was even there.
Severus looked at Lily as though she just spit in his face, his lip curled and his eye twitched when he spotted a dreamy look on her face.
"Hello, Snape," Lily said airily. She leaned against the wall, smiling to no one.
"We're going to the dungeons," Severus said promptly.
"Why?" Lily asked, still in a trancelike state.
"Far too distracting in there, despite Madame Pince prowling the aisles. The dungeons are more peaceful, and it's less likely that people will approach us," Severus said. "So get that stupid look off your face and follow me."
Lily seemed to snap out of her reverie as he quickly strode along the corridor, down a narrow, dimly lit stairwell, which he knew led to the second floor. He stopped before they reached the end of the stairs.
"There are still people walking around, so you go down the marble staircase first and then enter the dungeons—so that it doesn't look like we're going together. Go all the way down the corridor until you hit a wall. Make a right and walk until you see another corridor to your right. Go to the second to last door along the left side. I'll come shortly after," Severus said.
"Make a right…another right…second to last…okay, got it," Lily murmured. "It seems like we're secret agents or something."
"Just go," Severus said.
She walked away and he waited about three minutes before following her. He walked through the entryway to the dungeons to the familiar smell of dust and the feeling of the draught through his hair and robes. It was only parky this time of the year, though it would be 'cold as the north side of a gravestone in winter' come December, then through to February and into March. He made his last right turn to see Lily shivering in the middle of the scarcely-lit corridor.
"I forgot if it was the second to last on the left or right," Lily said lamely. "And I should have kept Alexander's sweater."
"You can be such an idiot at times, Evans," Severus said, muttering alohamora on the correct door and entering the room. Though it had a feeling of neglect, he thought it was fine. He pointed his wand at the outlines of light sources in the room. At the front of the room was a wide mahogany desk and several desks.
"How…quaint," said Lily, who waved her wand around the room to move the desks against the wall. "There, much better…but where are the chairs?"
"Probably in that storeroom over there." Severus pointed at the door in the corner of the room.
Lily walked over towards the small storeroom, and gave a loud squeal as she opened the door and illuminated the space. "Spider webs."
"Oh grow up, Evans. I thought you were a Gryffindor," Severus said, getting more and more annoyed by her as the minutes passed.
"You know, it's rather cramped in here," Lily said from within the small room, and groaned.
"What is it now?" Severus snapped.
"I found the chairs but they're all the way in the back and there is a ton of junk in here. I need help," Lily said, her voice a bit muffled.
"Merlin, Evans!" Severus cried.
He entered the storeroom and discovered that she was correct: it was full of spider webs and boxes. Torn and mouldering books were dispersed around the room; heavy cloaks, too. The small shelves on the side held colourful cloths and blankets. Severus spotted a small piece of parchment with large, cursive handwriting:
February 17, 1872
Write to mother
Clean closet
He sure didn't get around to the latter, Severus mused.
He heard a small cry and then a loud thump and saw Lily facedown on the dirty ground: a box covering her head and the large cloak wrapped around her ankle.
"Damn," Lily cursed from within the box before pulling it violently off her head and turning over. Severus felt his breath caught in his chest when caught sight of the upper parts of Lily's legs exposed from the fall. "Sorry, I can be such a clumsy oaf," Lily said sheepishly.
Lily then, not so conveniently, picked up a thin old book by her hand and grazed her hand along the withering cover.
"Hey look, it's a journal," Lily said.
"Get up, Evans," Severus said, averting his eyes.
"Wait, I just want to glance through this," Lily said, flipping the pages. "Wow, this bloke must have had a really boring life. Listen to this: 'October 7, 1891: I just gave my students a lecture on the Elixir of Life. They seemed rather interested—'"
"We don't have time for this, Evans. In about an hour we have to be in our respective common rooms," Severus said firmly.
"Ah, but we're prefects. We could stay down here an extra half hour and say we were…disciplining a student or something," Lily said, and continued to read the journal. Severus glared at her, hoping she'd get a hint. She didn't.
"You can read about a nineteenth-century teacher some other time," Severus hissed.
Lily sighed, stood up, and smoothed out her dress and pointed her wand towards the chairs.
"Wingardeum Leviosa!" Lily incanted.
A couple chairs lurched towards her, out of the storeroom, and into their appropriate places by the table.
"Remind me never to send you to a storeroom ever again," Severus muttered as they settled at the large table, taking their books from their satchels.
They both started on Defence, briefly expressing frustration that they mostly did theory rather than actually using the spells on one another. Severus looked up from his quill and watched as Lily behaved in a studious manner: much more serious and less playful. He preferred this side of her to when she was energetic.
"Does this look alright?" Lily asked, handing Severus what she had written on her homework so far. Severus read it thoroughly before handing it back to her. "There's is a spelling error in your fifth line and again on your seventh line. Other than that, it looks fine."
"Thanks," Lily murmured, erasing the errors with her wand. "It's not so cold in here once you get used to it."
"Just wait until January," Severus said distractedly.
They both had done their Transfiguration and Charms homework earlier, so they moved on to Herbology.
"Is it just me, or is Herbology getting messier and messier each lesson? My arm was nearly ripped off today. Alice had to hex the plant to get it off me," Lily commented.
"On the plus side, Bulstrode didn't turn out much better," Severus muttered, not planning on her hearing him, though his intention failed and Lily giggled softly.
"I was rather surprised that she even got into NEWTs Herbology. She was never in my class before, but I hear she was never very good," said Lily.
"I'm disappointed in general at the people who got into my NEWTs classes," Severus spat, wrinkling his nose. "Most are entirely incompetent. Some barely scraped by with an Exceeds Expectations. I'm most surprised by the amount of dunces in Defence Against the Dark Arts and Potions. How…Potter and the rest of those idiots got in—"
"Potter is actually very intelligent," said Lily, glancing up at Severus.
"That prick doesn't even try," said Severus hotly. "Nor does Black. Lupin, I don't know and don't care. As for Pettigrew—I'm amazed that he got into any NEWTs classes at all."
"Peter isn't that thick…he just isn't as smart as the rest of his friends. He's rather good at Defence, though, and was also quite good at Transfiguration," said Lily.
Severus snorted. He was surprised it was physically possible to place "Peter" and "smart" in the same sentence. Her defence of Pettigrew was pitiful, though Potter's was more so.
"But I too think that Potter and Black could try a bit more in class. I believe it is more rewarding that way. They do not pay attention yet do fabulously in class. It's interesting how people are successful that way while others have to work their bums off to attain the same achievement," said Lily.
Severus didn't respond and began to get back to work, though after a minute of silence he randomly murmured, "And what on Earth is with those idiotic pet names they have for each other?"
Lily's laughter bounced off the walls, and it was oddly contagious, causing Severus to smile the tiniest bit.
"They started using them last year. Don't know where they got them from. I think it's kinda cute, actually," Lily shrugged. Severus snorted and continued to work.
"Have you a date to the ball?" Lily asked ten minutes later.
"No," Severus said, wondering why she was always so interested with his social life and after a sincere exchange, would turn to asking about such trivial matters. Evans continued to dumbfound him.
"Oh. Andrew Jacobson asked me today," Lily said. He didn't have to look up to know that she had a silly girlish grin on her face again. "He is such a sweet guy."
Severus coughed.
"Can I ask you something?" Lily said.
"No," Severus said, scribbling down what do when a magical hydrangea plant expels its venomous substance.
"Who do you wantto go with?" Lily asked, ignoring him. His hand stopped, and ink gathered and seeped through his paper.
"I don't busy myself with such insignificant things as dates—" Severus said, not looking up from his paper, staring at the ink collecting at the tip of the "e".
"Who said it's significant? I believe this whole ball is a bit lame, but I still think a date is nice," Lily interrupted.
Severus gave Lily a cold look. This session was for studying, not figuring out who Severus could go to the ball with. Suddenly, a thought hit him. "Did you only want to be my study partner for some…sick, twisted, Gryffindor-related joke?"
"What?" Lily asked, apparently taken aback, but he didn't buy it.
"Is that why you were so eager? Ask Snape some questions and if he happens to spill something that could result in malicious, juicy gossip, tell everyone? Funny how you suddenly ask to be my study partner the day we find out about the ball. I wouldn't be surprised if Black or Potter set you up for this," Severus said, his voice getting louder with every word.
"No, not at all. I already told you why I want to study with you," Lily said, her voice rising a little as well. "I don't even listen to Potter."
They were both quiet for a while, until Lily broke the silence.
"Why don't you trust me?" Lily asked, obviously trying to ask in a careless tone.
"I don't trust easily," Severus said with condescension. "Unlike you, who probably trusts anyone smiling in your direction."
He glanced up at her and saw her eyebrows furrow at her book, then he continued.
"That can be dangerous, you know," Severus said furtively.
"What's that supposed to imply?" Lily snapped.
"Trust is risky," Severus said simply. "Especially in times like these. You can't even trust your own family anymore, let alone your friends or mere acquaintances."
"I know who to trust and who not to trust," Lily retorted. She looked rather tense, glancing quickly around the dull, dark room.
"Oh really?" Severus asked with a little simper, leaning back in his chair slightly. "Do you trust me?"
Lily's eyes met his black ones. He noticed her body stiffen but she continued to look straight at him, as though figuring him out with a simple regard.
"I—I'm not sure," Lily said gently. "I…think I trust you."
Severus narrowed his eyes. "Why?"
"I don't know. You seem like someone I can trust. You seem…different than the rest," Lily said, nibbling on her bottom lip.
"The rest of whom? The people in Slytherin?" Severus asked.
"Petty house rivalry doesn't affect my views on people. Isn't that evident? I know not all Slytherins are the same. Otherwise we wouldn't even be studying together right now," Lily said tightly.
"Which really doesn't seem like such a bad thing at the moment—" Severus interrupted.
"By 'the rest' I mean the self-proclaimed leaders of this school. Mostly the stuck up pure-bloods of various houses. You don't seem like the rest of the pure-bloods you associate with. It's nothing really," Lily said quickly.
Severus' lip curled. When she said that she trusted him, he felt as though he wasn't doing his job. Though the passion in her voice surprised him.
"So…you don't trust me?" Lily asked, suddenly interested in the pattern of her blue quill.
"No," Severus said truthfully.
"Luckily I didn't have high expectations," Lily sighed. "Hopefully you can come to. And, honestly…Potter doesn't have anything to do with this studying arrangement."
Severus didn't reply. He didn't know what to think, let alone say.
"You know," Lily said, closing One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi, "You are the most introverted person I know. You are so guarded. Why?"
"It's who I am," Severus said.
"Is that who you are, or who you want to be? The mysterious, troubled boy in black. Trying to be a rebel without a cause?" Lily said with a small smile.
"No, I don't want to be a rebel and I don't believe I present myself as one. I don't try to be mysterious, I don't try to be troubled, and I don't like many colours. Enough said," Severus said defensively. Lily's smile wilted. "I believe the intensions of studying together were academic only. No asking about one another or silly conversations about the colour of each other's wardrobe."
Lily sighed and went back to her book, and he had an odd feeling of achievement.
"I should go now before it gets too late," said Lily a while later. She collected her books and stood up. "Hopefully I can find my way out. Would you like to meet up again tomorrow?"
"Fine," Severus said, hoping to sound very disappointed.
"Okay, same time, same place. Maybe we can set up a routine day to meet up. Bye," Lily said.
Lily left the room while he remained sitting in his cold chair, avoiding contemplating her comments.
XXX
Tired and yearning for a good night's rest, she entered the Gryffindor portrait hole and heard someone from within the common room ask, "Is that you, James?"
"No," Lily said as she walked into the large room. The Quidditch team, as well as Sirius, Remus, and Peter, were scattered around the room. She walked up to Marlene. "What's going on? Why do you need James?"
"He flew into one of the hoops," Marlene said. "What an idiot."
"When did this happen?" Lily asked.
"After you decided to get up and leave with ickle Alexander Jacobson," said Sirius in a mock-baby voice. "He was twisting his head all over the place like some retarded owl. Probably looking for you."
"Why would he be looking for me while he was flying?" Lily asked. "Besides, it's not my fault Potter can't fly properly without being distracted."
Sirius mumbled something to Peter and Remus while Marlene dragged Lily towards the window, her eyes glinting, and a sign that usually meant she was expecting gossip.
"Alexander Jacobson? The cute Ravenclaw?" asked Marlene, grinning like there was no tomorrow.
"Yes," said Lily excitedly. "He asked me to the ball."
"Oh, that's exciting…though I've heard he can be a git sometimes," said Marlene.
"Well, he's not a git around me. And guess what, he walked me to the library, carried my stuff, and he gave me a kiss on the cheek!" said Lily.
She and Marlene squealed, causing most of the Quidditch team give them looks of annoyance.
"That's so sweet…but a bit…I dunno…odd for just asking you out. Maybe he's expecting too much," said Marlene. Marlene had a knack of always finding a downside into something exciting, which at times made her a pessimist.
"I'm sure it's fine, Marlene. And to be honest, I'm kind of hoping…oh never mind," Lily started but started feel her ears burn.
"You can't do that. Tell me, come on," coaxed Marlene.
"I'm hoping to get my first kiss," whispered Lily, though she was looking intently at the ground.
"You've never been kissed?" asked Marlene, her eyes wide. "I would think that someone like you would be able to get one."
Lily looked at her friend confusedly.
"I mean…you're gorgeous," said Marlene.Lily was taken aback as she saw a small look of distaste on Marlene's face.
"What's the matter with you? Looks like you just sucked on a lemon," Lily said.
"I'm fine. I'm just surprised that someone like you hasn't been kissed. I mean, I've been kissed before and I'm not nearly as pretty…" Marlene trailed off.
"Poppycock, Marlene," said Lily. "I'm really not that pretty. You're very pretty too, you know—"
"Yeah, but nothing compared to you. You're perfect," said Marlene.
There it was again; that word: perfect. Snape saying it was bad enough, but her own friends? It made her feel as though even those closest to her were mistaken about her. "Marlene, I'm not perfect. Far from it," Lily said softly.
"Perfect grades—" pointed out Marlene.
"They're rather poor at times—" Lily retorted.
"Perfect hair that doesn't poof when it gets wet."
"That's just the way your hair is, Marlene. There is nothing to be ashamed of—"
"Perfect figure."
"Are you kidding? I almost have love handles thanks to the food here. You're actually in shape, Marlene—"
"All the boys going bananas over you."
"Oh yes, because James Potter is everyone—"
"Perfect…feet," said Marlene desperately.
"You're being silly now, Marlene. Are you trying to make me feel bad about myself or good?" asked Lily.
"Sorry," muttered Marlene, not looking into Lily's eyes.
"It's alright, I guess," said Lily. Sure, she was quite good at a few things, but couldn't play Quidditch to save her life, unlike Marlene.
"Anyway, where were you," said Marlene quickly, trying to change the subject. "Alice and I looked in the library for you but you weren't there."
"The library is a big place, you just didn't see me," said Lily, trying to change the topic as well.
"We looked just about everywhere in that place. Madame Pince started giving us weird looks, following us around the aisles, accusing us of disrupting the students. Merlin, she scared us out of that place," Marlene exaggerated.
Suddenly there was a chorus of chattering and questioning. The girls turned towards the portrait hole to see a very disgruntled-looking James Potter (possibly more dishevelled than ever before) walk into the common room with people surrounding him.
"Yes, yes, I'm fine," said James tiredly in the small crowd. "Just a broken nose and a bit of a cracked skull. Nothing Madame Pomfrey couldn't fix in a split second."
"That's a relief," Marlene said to Lily. "We were afraid he was really badly injured and couldn't play this weekend."
Sirius threw a shoulder around James and muttered something quietly in his ear. Whatever was said was humorous in Sirius' opinion but not quite to James. The bespectacled boy looked up and his eye caught Lily's. A glare spread across his hazel eyes and brows, sending an unpleasant chill down Lily's spine. Swiftly, a seventh-year Lily knew as Florence Reiter walked up to James and began to speak to him, touching his arm and talking rapidly. Whatever she said seemed to cheer him up.
"I hear she has had…a zillion boyfriends. Ha, if only the professors knew about such promiscuity at this school. I think McGonagall would pass out if she heard of the things Florence has done," said Marlene quietly, as usual demonstrating her "knowledge" of nearly every student in school.
"I bet you've never talked to Florence in your life. Gossip isn't always truth," said Lily lightly. "Remember when Narcissa spread that rumour about you in second year claiming your mum abused you after she saw some bruise on your face—when it was actually from Remus accidentally hitting you in the face with an apple."
"That's different," Marlene said curtly.
The two girls continued to watch Florence. After a while, James' massive grin bothered her to the core. "How can he be so happy after suffering severe head trauma?"
Marlene shrugged and walked over to Sirius, leaving Lily to scrutinise James and Florence, who was now rubbing his back and smilingly impishly. Becoming increasingly annoyed by their behaviour, Lily went to her dorm for a well-deserved snooze.