Chess Chapter 3: Where I Want to Be, a harry potter fanfic

Note: Remember, the original words of the songs are reached through a link on our profile. :)

-----

Chess

Where I Want To Be

While Gryffindors and Ravenclaws were singing in celebration, and Hufflepuffs brooding for not being chosen as the hosts of the chess final, down in the dungeons Snape was nervously pacing up and down in his office, while Draco Malfoy sat lounging in the chair in front of the fireplace, staring pensively into the flames.

It seemed that Snape was a bit more anxious to win the game than Malfoy himself, but that was actually no surprise. Of course Malfoy wanted to win, he wanted to win against Gryffindor and against Weasley, but ever since the start of the war, many things had taken up a whole new perspective in his mind. After all, when his life had been in danger every second of every day, things like Quidditch Cup were bound to sink to the background. And now, after the war and their return to Hogwarts, he found it hard to go back to the life he had been leading before.

Sometimes, it didn't seem worth all the trouble.

Snape had stopped his pacing and was now giving his champion an evil glare, not only because he didn't seem to be paying attention, but these last few days he had been giving evil glares to everybody. This was his chance to bring the Slytherin House out of the pile of rubbish it had been dumped into during the war, back into the light of pride and fame and glory. And he was not going to miss it.

"That boy is utterly mad," he said when his glare was acknowledged at last. "Believe me, Draco, you're playing a lunatic."

While he had been too busy with his own games and improving his strategy to attend Weasley's matches, he had sent others to pay attention and report back to him, also interrogated those who had had the chance to lose to Weasley.

And all of them had come back bearing the same news; some had even managed to take a couple of photos.

"That's the problem," he replied at last. "He's a brilliant lunatic and you can't tell which way he'll jump - like his game he's impossible to analyse - you can't dissect him, predict him - which of course means he's not a lunatic at all."

He hated calling Weasley brilliant, even though that adjective was followed by 'lunatic', but by everything he had heard and seen, there were some things he couldn't deny any more. Weasley was poor, ugly, freckled, Gryffindor, poor, ugly, red-haired, poor, stupid, ugly and poor, but when it came to chess – that he was good at. And he really didn't need all those reports from his spies for that, after all, Weasley had made it to the final.

"What we've just seen's a pathetic display
From a boy who's beginning to crack
He's afraid - he isn't as good as he wants us to think
He knows he'll get smacked."

Straightening himself up a bit, Malfoy fixed his companion with a sharp gaze of his own. What was he trying to do? Snape was not stupid after all, and even if he hadn't been present to some of those matches won by Weasley, he still couldn't deny the fact that the Gryffindor had made it so far already.

"Nonsense!
Why do my allies
Always want to believe
Those silly rumours..."

"My friend, please relax
We're all on your side
You know how you need us –"

Malfoy looked away pointedly. Whenever Snape called someone his friend, things were not good for that said person. And even though there had been a time he had really needed him, that time ended with Voldemort's demise, and now he was able to become independent once again. Because if there was one thing Malfoy couldn't stand, besides red-haired and freckled Gryffindors, it was being called dependent.

"I don't need my army of so-called 'advisors'
And 'helpers' to tell me
The guy who's revitalised chess single-handed
Is more or less out of his brain
When it's very clear he's sane."

At least when it comes to chess, Malfoy added mentally.

"Listen, we don't underestimate Gryffindor -
We won't get caught in that trap
After all, winning or losing reflects on us all…"

"Oh don't give me that crap!
I win - no one else does
And I take the rap if I lose.

"Admit it, you're just playing your little game of rivalry with McGonagall," Malfoy added.

"You are going to win to bring Slytherin fame and glory!"

"I'm going to win to bring myself fame and glory!"

For a moment there, Malfoy thought that Snape would pull his wand out on him, but he was still quite safe – he was their champion after all, and no one injures their champion one day before the big game.

And Snape did make no attempt to curse him. Instead, he simply smiled, which was about hundred times worse.

"But you are right about one thing," he said in his oily voice, the one he used to make promises (aka threaten people). "You will take the rap if you lose. You certainly will."

Draco repressed a shudder at that. Snape was one of those people that were not just every bit as nasty and dangerous as they looked like, but in certain situations ten times as much. And after the match… well, who cares if the loser ends up in the Hospital Wing for a few weeks. Or months.

"It's not quite that simple
All Hogwarts is watching
We're all on display
We're not merely sportsmen…"

"Oh please don't start spouting that old party line
Yes I know it's your job but
Just get out and get me a chess-playing second
In mere sixteen hours we begin
That is if you want to win!"

Snape grimaced. He knew quite well that all those silly rumours about Weasley winning only through bribe were false (because he was way too poor and way too Gryffindor to do something like that). He knew Weasley was a substantial rival, and that he had good chances to win, especially if his player stayed as indifferent about the game as he seemed now. So he just had to give the match a subtle push in the right direction.

"Wanting's not sufficient - we have to know, we have to make sure. All Gryffindors have a weakness, and his is that bookworm; take her and you win the game!"

Draco cringed. If Snape wanted him to seduce Granger, he was losing it for certain. Of course, it also meant something else.

"So you think I can't win otherwise?" he scoffed. If Snape was resorting to measures that extreme, it meant he was getting desperate. And that meant he thought they had no chance to achieve an honest victory.

Funny as it may have seemed, although it really wasn't, Draco couldn't recall ever wanting or managing to win without his little dirty tricks. But this time it was different. This time he wanted to win not only to trash Gryffindor, but also to prove that he was indeed better than them.

"I'm not saying that - I'm just making certain - and she's intelligent... then there's her heritage – Muggle-born and all that."

"And what does that have to do with anything?" Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "You want me to seduce her because she is a Mudblood?"

"It would do our cause no harm. And don't say that word – this castle has too many eyes and ears. You don't want to get charged with instigation of public hostility, or something like that."

"Our cause?" Draco inquired.

"Our cause to bring the House of Slytherin back into good light in the eyes of all the important figures."

"Whenever has Slytherin been in good light?"

He left the question hang in the air for a while, before standing up and walking towards the door.

"I'm a chess player, Professor Snape - you go and play these other games!"

"What's wrong with you, Draco!" he heard the other man hiss. "You used to like all these devious tricks in the past. What has happened to you?"

"The war," he said quietly and left.

---

Once back in Slytherin common room, he swiftly ordered everyone out with the excuse of needing peace and quiet to concentrate before the big day.

"Will you smash him, thrash him, and bash him for me?" Pansy asked with a revengeful smile on her face. Her first game of chess had been against Weasley, and she didn't appreciate being demolished in five minutes.

She also didn't appreciate not being asked to become Draco's second, something she had thought most fascinating and alluring ever since finding out about Granger being Weasley's second.

She said it was romantic.

He said he would get far too distracted with her on his side.

She took it as a compliment.

He didn't correct her.

Once his girlfriend had followed all the others, Draco heaved a sigh of relief, and sunk into his green and silver armchair by the fire.

He knew he should have been elated at being here at this very moment, and not only being a few games away from becoming the Champion of Hogwarts, but also being alive.

Whereas he was indeed happy for being alive, the solid fact that fame and glory stood only a few paces away did not thrill him as much as it should have.

"Who needs a dream?
Who needs ambition?
Who'd be the fool
In my position?" he asked wistfully from the empty common-room.

"Once I had dreams
Now they're obsessions
Hopes became needs
Lovers possessions

"Then they move in
Oh so discreetly
Slowly at first
Smiling too sweetly
I opened doors
They walked right through them
Called me their friend
I hardly knew them

"Now I'm where I want to be and who I want to be
And doing what I always said I would
And yet I feel I haven't won at all
Running for my life and never looking back
In case there's someone right behind
To curse me down and say he always knew I'd fall

"When the crazy wheel slows down
Where will I be? Back where I started.

"Stupid depression," he announced to the emptiness around him. "Must have been something I ate. Really, tomorrow when I'll finally smash, thrash… and what else did Pansy say? Oh yes, bash the Weasel, I'm sure all this nonsense goes away."

But even saying this, he knew that he was lying to himself.

"Don't get me wrong
I'm not complaining
Times have been good
Fast, entertaining
But what's the point?
If I'm concealing
Not only love
All common feeling

Shaking his head in wry amusement, he raised himself from the armchair to get some much needed rest before tomorrow's game.

When the crazy wheel slows down
Where will I be? Back where I started.

-----

Please REVIEW :)