A/N: Hello all and Happy New Year (and happy holidays…even though the holiday season is over)! I wanted this chapter in and uploaded before 2007 but, hey, kicking off the new year with a chapter doesn't hurt either. Now, this chapter, though it didn't take as long as the last chapter to write, is a whopping 12,546 words! Winter break does wonders! So yeah, this is my longest and possibly my favorite chapter yet! I told you guys I'd make up for how short chapter 17 was! So yes, read read read!
By the way, what the hell is up with the notification problems with the Marauders scenes are sort of similar to a chapter of Shoebox Project. I truly owe that fic so much for inspiration on the Marauders.
X 1977
He never was very fond of his fireplace.
Hardly any comforting fires took place there. No chestnuts roasting. And definitely no flooing.
That was, until December thirty-first, 1976, when Severus found himself staring at it blankly. There was a small jar on the mantel of the fireplace which, at a casual glance, would have been taken for a small jar of cheap potpourri, lacking the faintest whiff of aroma. Little did Tobias know, however, that underneath the potpourri holder lay the very tiny jar of Floo Powder Eileen had told him about years ago, "for emergencies only". He almost forgot about it; was almost tempted to not show up at the Evans house that evening. He even planned what to say if she approached him about it whilst at Hogwarts: the address washed off.
But he remembered the Floo Powder and the blasted address did not wash off after twenty-four hours. It was slightly faded, if anything, but essentially the girly letters still showed up clearly on his pale palm. Tobias noticed the words last night, grunting, "Whas that?" as they ate lukewarm soup at the dinner table.
"Nothing," Severus replied, and it wasn't mentioned again.
His father was out. Probably drinking the night away with his mates at a seedy pub God knew where, and would probably be out until God knew when. Severus wrote a quick note to him, however, with five short words: "Out. Be back later. Severus."
That would certainly be enough, but he barely understood why he wrote the note in the first place. Tobias seemed to hardly care where his own son was.
So there he was—staring at the fireplace, Floo Powder in one hand, wand in his trouser pocket, and his father's ugly black Muggle jacket around his body. Bits of the sand-like particles were trickling from the crevices between his fingers as he watched the fire, which was making him rather hot in his warm clothing.
Oh buggering hell, was his last thought before he threw the Floo Powder into the flames and admired the fluorescent green nature they now possessed; he felt the magic radiating towards him as the green lit up his dark body. He secretly savoured it as he stepped into the fireplace and looked around the room, making sure the windows were drawn and he couldn't be seen.
He sighed and looked at his palm. The ink was bolder and darker than ever, tempting him to open his mouth and shout the words etched into his skin. And he did.
"Twenty-eight Victoria Lane!" Severus yelled, and felt a dizzying feeling throughout his body. He hadn't floo'd in years, and was certainly not used to the sensation. Thus making him, within seconds, fall face-first out of a foreign fireplace and into a very soft carpet. His nose, as well as the rest of his body, was suddenly very sore.
There was a rustle of feet and then a blood-curdling scream.
Is this the wrong house? Oh God, this better not be the wrong house. If Evans was pulling a fast one on me, then—
"BURGLAR! BURGLAR!" the voice screamed.
Burglar? I'm no burglar!
He then decided it would be best if he weren't smelling the carpet.
Pushing himself up swiftly, he was soon face to face with a woman with blonde hair and glassy blue eyes. She had a rather pointed nose and a long face, her bangs hiding her forehead. His eyes, however, went from her forehead, to the very large lamp in her left hand.
"I'M CALLING THE POLICE! DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT!" the woman yelled. "I'LL GET THE PHONE!"
Bugger, maybe I am in the wrong house!
"No!" Severus hissed. "I'm no burglar!"
"I'M NOT AN IDIOT! "
"You're giving yourself a rather hard leg to stand on!" Severus retorted. "Just put the lamp down, and—"
"I TAKE SELF-DEFENSE CLASSES EVERY WEEKEND. I KNOW KARATE! AND…AND KUNG FU! OH, OH JUST YOU WAIT! I CAN—"
"What the hell is all this racket?" said another voice. But this voice was much more recognizable, and seconds later Lily Evans appeared at the entrance to the room.
"Oh! Snape, you made it!"
He had never been so happy to hear or see her in his entire life.
"YOU KNOW THE BURGLAR?" the blonde questioned.
"This is no burglar," Lily sighed. "This is my…friend, Severus Snape. From school."
Friend. Friend? he repeated in his head as his eyes darted from one girl to another.
"And…Severus, this is Petunia, my sister," Lily said, with much less enthusiasm.
He remembered their time at the edge of the lake on that warm September day, and how Lily talked about her sister so hesitantly.
"Good evening," Severus muttered, stretching out his hand.
"How did he get in?" Petunia asked, glancing at his hand as though it were filthy.
"Floo," Lily told her sister.
"This is the second time in just a week one of your mates has dropped by through the ruddy fireplace!" Petunia shrieked. "What is he doing here? Do Mum and Dad know about him coming?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact they do!" Lily said. "And he is staying for dinner and the party."
"Party?" Severus turned sharply towards the auburn-haired girl. "I was unaware of anything about a—"
"—If you haven't noticed, Pet, I don't need your approval to invite a friend over. Come on, Snape. You can come to my room for a bit."
No I will not go to your room! Severus told himself, but Lily looked at him pointedly, her eyes opening wide and her neck stretching towards the direction of the stairs in desperation to convince the boy to get the hell out of that room that held Petunia. So he followed her up a staircase adjacent to a wall adorned with a few framed family pictures of the Evanses (from years ago, he assumed, due to the fact that they featured a little red-haired girl with a couple of front teeth missing).
"It's the second door to the right, up there," Lily said in front of him.
They were now in a small, dimly-lit upstairs hallway with hardwood floors and papered walls.
He suddenly heard Lily clear her throat from her bedroom door, which was now open with light issuing from within. "Come on, I don't bite," she smirked.
At that, Severus hesitantly approached the room and when he peeked inside, he was rather surprised. She had an interesting room; inviting and warm, yet individual and certainly expressing Lily. The walls were covered with posters and news clippings of various bands—the Beatles being the group that got the most wall-space. There was a cheap-looking green lava lamp on top of a blue-tinted wooden desk covered in paper, parchment, Muggle ink pens, and books. But the most books were located on a large, brown, wooden bookcase chock-full of paperback, hardcover, and leather-bound books. He felt himself approaching the shelf of his own accord, and nearly scoffed when he discovered that only a couple charms books were visible on the shelf. Most were Muggle books: children's books, biographies and autobiographies, poetry, non-fiction and historical fiction, photography and art tomes, and tons of fiction novels.
"Books," he muttered to himself, but she heard; she always heard.
"Yeah, I certainly consider it a hobby." Lily approached the shelf as well and smiled. "Some of my favourites are scattered around the room. The bindings have come off some of them, actually, from such heavy reading! I'm not very careful with them, to be honest. I reckon Madame Pince would have a right fit if she saw the condition of many of them."
The extreme surrealism of his entire predicament and surroundings suddenly barrelled into him like a speeding freight train. He was in Lily Evans' bedroom, looking at Lily Evans' books, talking about Lily Evans' book care (or lack thereof); and mere inches away from him stood Lily Evans herself, without a uniform or dress gown or big, clunky shoes. Instead, she was wearing purple corduroy trousers and a simple, long-sleeved, dark blue shirt. She also wore a pair of bright green socks with a small hole around the left and right toes. Her hair had its usual subtle wave. He was taken aback to suddenly realise she was wearing a pair of grey-rimmed glasses.
"They're just for when my eyes feel strained from reading," Lily said, and took them off, causing Severus to hope he wasn't staring. She lay the glasses on the nearby desk and continued to look at the books with a smile. "Do you read a lot? I mean…I know you read a lot, but I mean books that aren't related to magic?"
"I have," Severus said.
"Oh, which books?" Lily said.
"Can't remember," Severus replied.
"Hm. Do you read Muggle books often?" Lily pressed.
"No," he said.
"I could recommend some to you, if you'd—"
"I'm fine without, Evans."
Lily bit her lower lip and glanced away. "Alright, forget it, then."
He looked away from the bookcase, quickly acknowledging a wardrobe, a bed against the far left wall with very feminine pink and white bedding, and a large window looking out towards the suburban street (which, he discovered, was alive with light in every house, kids running around in winter clothing, and loud neighbours who had probably already opened a bottle of champagne or scotch whiskey).
"Alive out there, isn't it?" Lily said. "But I'd rather listen to some music than Mr. and Mrs. Next Door laughing like a bunch of loons. Do you mind?"
"It's your room," he grunted.
Lily shrugged and walked over to the few scattered albums that littered the floor. He was surprised they weren't stepped on or broken.
"I've been listening to holiday albums for a couple weeks now. I think it's time for a little change," Lily said thoughtfully as she crouched on the floor and picked up an album. "I know you aren't fond of them, but…"
Lily turned around; she had an album with 'The Beatles' written on it. "It's your room. You can play whatever the hell you want."
Lily smiled and walked over to her record player and gently put the old album inside and sat on the floor.
"You can sit down, you know," Lily said over her shoulder while pulling down the bottom of her shirt over her visible lower back. His legs were getting a bit tired, and he felt uncomfortable standing over her, so he sat down right where he was: on the other side of the room completely.
The redhead sighed and approached him by scooting on her knees.
"So how are you since yesterday?" Lily asked quietly after several silent moments.
"No better, no worse," he said stiffly.
"Um…Mum is anxious to meet you. She said she only got a glimpse of you at the funeral," Lily said. He didn't reply.
"So, are you hungry? Dinner should be ready soon…"
And then he remembered: the party. "What is this about a party, Evans?"
"Damn, hoped you'd forget about that." Lily clicked her tongue and chuckled. Severus was not amused. "Every year my parents have a get-together with some of their friends, watch the activity at the Square and Kenneth McKellar on the telly, and get absolutely smashed. It's rather boring without somebody my own age around, actually. When I was younger they used to bring their kids along, but now they all go to pubs around town while I'm stuck here listening to Mr. and Mrs. Next Door laughing for eight hours straight."
"So you invited me, not just for an hour at the dinner table, but for an obnoxious party too so that you wouldn't have to listen to your drunk next door neighbours all night but instead have me to entertain you?" Severus elaborated.
"Yeah, pretty much," Lily shrugged.
He should have left right then and there, but instead his mouth tugged into a small smirk. "You're pretty damn conniving."
Lily gave him a smirk of her own. "Ever wonder why Slughorn is fond of me?"
"I thought he was just fond of redheads," Severus said.
"I was joking, actually," Lily groaned. "Slughorn just likes me because I'm good at Potions and that 'cheek' I seem to have, rather than my skills at manipulation…which I didn't really think I had to begin with. Oh, but thanks for informing me that they in fact do exist."
Severus smiled slightly and Lily started to chuckle until she suddenly stopped, turned to Severus, and sniffed him.
"What the hell are you doing?" he unintentionally squeaked as the redhead advanced her nose upon the old jacket. "Is this normal in this household?"
Lily didn't respond. She continued to frown and sniff him. To make matters worse, seconds later Petunia came walking past the room in the hallway—she froze, made a face, and continued to walk quickly in her original direction.
"I'm serious, what on Earth—" he pushed her away from him by the shoulder "—is the matter with you?"
"Have you been smoking?" Lily asked roughly.
"Why?" Severus scowled.
"You smell like my uncle and he smoked two packs of fags a day," Lily frowned.
"I'm going to assume that is hardly a compliment," Severus said. "Is he invited to this little party, too? Do you plan on sniffing him like a ruddy animal?"
"He died last year, actually, so I doubt he'll be able to attend," Lily snapped coolly.
"A lot of people smoke, Evans," Severus said.
"That may be true," Lily said. "But they're all saying that fags are horrid for you."
"It's not me who smells like a bucket of fags, Evans," Severus said as he shrugged off his coat. "It's my father's damned jacket that does!"
Lily blushed. "Oh, I'm sorry…shouldn't have jumped to—"
"—Lily, you forgot to get the delicates from the dryer!"
Lily, if possible, blushed even harder and had a look of utter horror as a woman Severus assumed was Mrs. Evans came barrelling into the room with her arms full of fresh-scented laundry and dumped it on her bed. He then understood why she was blushing like a tomato: they were all knickers and other unmentionables.
"Mum!" Lily jumped up and rushed towards her mother. "Get out, get out, get out!"
"What is—" she said until she turned around from Mount Knickers and towards a very uncomfortable Severus Snape. Flattening out her dress and smoothing her hair, she put her hand over her mouth. "Good Lord, you must be Eileen's boy."
Severus nodded and offered her his hand, but was surprised when he instead received a large hug. Her hair tickled his nose and she smelled like seasoned meat and stew but also had that indescribable, sweet maternal smell he couldn't put his finger on. She pulled away from him and smiled gently at him and he realized just how much she resembled her daughter—but older, with lurking wrinkles and some age spots. She had a much darker shade of red to her hair—in the wrong lighting it looked more like a dark brown—and her eyes were the same almond shape as her daughter's but were dark brown in colour.
"I'm sure you don't remember me. My name is Matilda Evans and I'm so glad you could make it," she said warmly, her grin deep and her dimples, if possible, deeper. "Happy New Year."
"Happy New Year to you too, Mrs—"
"Call me Matilda, dear," Matilda simpered. She looked at both teenagers. "Dinner will be ready soon, and Lily, I want those clothes folded and put in your wardrobe. Not scattered around the floor!"
With that, Matilda gave Severus one last smile and walked out. Lily was still blushing and looked absolutely livid.
"That was…interesting," Severus said with his hands in his pockets, looking as far away from the pile of knickers as possible. A particularly large poster caught his eye as he heard Lily mutter next to him.
"Good Lord! That woman!" Lily groaned in her palm and covered the clothing with a large blanket. "I'm sorry, I'm so bloody sorry."
Severus didn't know what to say, but almost snickered by the redhead's utter embarrassment and her positively rouge cheeks. "Lord, Evans. You're blushing like a virgin at a brothel."
"I think I'd rather be at a brothel than here right now," Lily sighed.
Both were silent once more as the record kept spinning and the songs kept playing and Severus sat there, watching her move her lips to the words.
He was never happier to hear somebody say, "Dinner is ready" in his life. This was all much too strange.
XXX
"Pass the carrots, please," Petunia said hastily.
"Severus, would you mind, dear?" Matilda asked the boy.
Lily watched as Severus hesitantly picked up the bowl and extended his long arms across the table to Petunia who, on receiving the vegetables and dishing them out, crinkled her nose and inspected the orange nourishment.
"So, how's school treating you, Severus?" Edward asked Severus curiously. Earlier, Mister Evans met and shook hands with Severus rather familiarly. Perhaps he was just excited to have a male in the household, or perhaps he was genuinely interested in the pallid young man.
"Well," Severus replied quietly.
"Couldn't hear you, son. Don't be afraid to speak up," Edward encouraged.
"It is going well, Mister Evans," Severus said again, albeit a little louder. Although, to Lily's amusement, Severus looked rather uncomfortable speaking to her father.
"Lily tells me you're half Muggle," Edward said as he took a hearty bite of meat and began to chew enthusiastically,
"Dad!" Lily groaned.
"What?" Edward frowned
"Yes, I am," Severus said, not rudely or shy; instead it had a touch of firmness.
"Do you like football?" Edward asked.
"I…did. But I haven't exactly been properly caught up," Severus replied sheepishly.
"Oh yeah, since when? Got everything you need to know right here," Edward said with a chuckle as he pointed to his head, which was lightly covered in sparse grey hair. Severus noticed Lily roll her eyes.
"I reckon…1969," Severus said.
"What about 1969?" Edward frowned.
"Well, sir, you asked me when was the last time I was properly caught up—"
"Blimey! You'll really need to catch up!"
"Dad, that's a bit difficult, don't you think?" Lily said. "You know, since we're away doing magic for most of the year."
"Well, then, do you play that game you lot play on the sticks? Quidditch, is it?"
"No, I don't play, sir," Severus replied.
"…What do you do, son?" Edward asked. He seemed to think that if you were a young man not interested in anything athletic, you must do absolutely nothing. Living in a house full of women severely revved up his urge for testosterone.
"I…I create spells?" Severus said uncertainly.
This was certainly the first time Lily's heard about that and she immediately stopped mid bite to peer at her companion. She made a mental note to talk to him about that hobby at a later time.
"Oh really?" Edward asked and wiped his mouth swiftly, his eyes brightening with fascination. Her father, though cynical, was always interested in Wizarding hobbies. "What kinds?"
"Just…spells," Severus said, staring at his plate as he ate like a man stranded…or an average teenage boy.
"I understand that, son. But I'm interested in what—"
"Mostly defensive…I've also tried to research some well-known ones and see if they can be improved…and such," Severus explained.
Lily was sure she must have looked like a codfish of some sort from her gaping mouth. She had no idea this was one of his hobbies! Was this the only time he's mentioned this to anyone? She had certainly heard about his interest in the Dark Arts, and his skill and expertise in Defence class was pretty much common knowledge; but never had she heard anything about Severus creating and improving spells.
"Like what? Don't be shy, now," Matilda coaxed gently as she took a small bite of her vegetables.
"Erm, well…there is this once spell that I find to be pretty fascinating," Severus told his plate, glancing up every few seconds at the Evanses. "I'm not exactly sure of many ways to improve it but…there is this spell that helps repel these…creatures."
"Which creatures?" Lily finally piped up. Severus made direct eye contact with her, almost as if he had forgotten she was there.
"Dementors," Severus said.
"Dementors?"
Everyone at the table turned their heads towards Petunia, who hadn't said much throughout dinner thus far. She didn't look particularly fascinated…but she certainly looked curious.
"Don't they have something to do with Azkaban?" Lily asked. She wasn't very well informed about the creatures. She certainly had heard of them, but other than that…
"Azkaban?" Petunia yet again piped up. Her blonde brows furrowed and the piece of potato hung haphazardly from her fork. "Dementors? Azkaban? What on Earth?"
"What are these things?" Matilda asked excitedly.
"Yeah, what exactly are Dementors?" Lily asked Severus. Their eyes met again as he looked up at her.
"Dementors," Severus began, his voice more steady as he continued to look in her general direction. Apparently he enjoyed having a listening audience. "Are large creatures who guard Azkaban, which, as I hope you know, is the wizard prison."
"You lot have a prison?" Edward asked.
"Why wouldn't there be a prison in the Wizarding world?" Lily said.
"With criminals?" Matilda squeaked.
"No, with balloon animals," Lily chuckled. "Don't worry about it, Mum."
"If they're guards, why would you want to, as you said, 'repel' them? Aren't they good?" Matilda asked.
Turning towards Severus again, she nodded her head, prompting him to continue.
"Well," Severus smirked darkly, pushing a strand of his stringy black hair behind his ear, "that all depends on your definition of 'good' doesn't it?"
The Evanses were still all ears, excited for the boy to continue…sans Petunia, who looked like she wanted nothing more than Severus to stop and leave the dinner table; perhaps even leave the country!
"Dementors are the main reason why Azkaban is so feared in the Wizarding world. They're large creatures, shrouded in heavy, black robes. They're…not human but they have the basic shape of one. However, the only human-esque feature of the Dementors wizards may catch a glimpse of are their hands…which resemble horrible, scabbed, dying flesh," Severus said breezily, though his voice seemed to drop and deepen for dramatics.
Matilda and Edward winced, Petunia looked sick, and Lily…Lily was surprisingly fascinated by the horrible creatures.
"However, only wizards can see them."
Mr. and Missus. Evans and Petunia all seemed to deflate with relief.
"But that almost makes it worse for Muggles. Because although they can't see them, they can certainly feel them."
They became tense once more.
"What else?" Lily whispered.
"They're truly filthy creatures. Very cold air surrounds them. Freezing, they say. Dementors thrive on darkness, despair, and especially death. The Dementors' true skill is their ability to literally drain one's happiness. Every pleasing memory, experience, sensation…gone! Kaput! Sucked out of you like a vacuum cleaner. You're only left with your worst memories, many of which you've probably forgotten ages ago…they just resurface."
Lily noticed Petunia stare at a nearby closet, which Lily knew held the Evanses' own vacuum cleaner.
"The worst part about them…however…is when they kiss you."
"K-k-kiss you?" Petunia shivered. Lily felt rather nervous herself, yet eager for him to continue. "These things just…kiss you? Like on the lips?"
"Yes."
"But kisses aren't evil," Petunia insisted, though her fear was still evident in her bright blue eyes.
"Don't be silly," Severus snapped. "It's not a loving kiss on the lips. They lift their hoods and clamp their rotting jaws on the victim's mouth and their kiss sucks out your very soul."
"Then what happens?" Edward asked in hushed tones, Matilda not so subtly gripping her husband's shirtsleeve.
"You're left soulless," Severus said quietly. "A soulless, evil creature just like the Dementor itself. The Dementor's kiss is a fate worse than death. The worst way to die. In Azkaban, the criminals have to endure the presence of the Dementors every day. They don't have their souls sucked out unless…well, under certain circumstances."
"That's horrible," Lily said. "But…but they're on the Ministry's side, right? The Ministry controls them."
"Sure," Severus lifted a brow and smirked again. "But…it's rather funny how the Ministry tricks themselves into believing that they can control one of the deadliest beings on Earth. The Dementors can't communicate by speech and can hardly be chained down or something. The notion that they can be controlled is ridiculous."
"Then how are they stopped? They must be repelled someway," Lily said passionately, her food long forgotten. "There must be a charm or—"
"Yes, a charm. The Patronus Charm," Severus said.
Lily gasped. "I've heard of that one! Doesn't it cause a…sort of silvery shape of an animal to appear?"
"Yes," Severus said. "The charm's main purpose is to repel Dementors. But it only works if you think of something happy."
"Hard to do when around one of those...Demonortors, though," Edward said. Severus cringed at the misspoken word.
"Exactly, which makes it extremely difficult. Anyway, I've been researching some other possibilities or alternatives to the Patronus—"
"Is this really something that should be discussed at the dinner table, Mother?" Petunia said slowly, staring pointedly at Matilda while fidgeting with her napkin, her cheeks red with frustration.
"What's wrong with our discussion?" Lily asked brazenly.
"How about you not get involved when I'm trying to talk to Mum?" Petunia retorted.
"How about not being so rude?" Lily replied with a snarl.
"Rude? Rude? You think that I'm being rude?" Petunia blinked rapidly while resting her fingertips on her chest. "I think it's rude talking about this…disgusting, unnatural filth at the dinner table!"
"Filth?" Severus said. Lily sighed and desperately hoped he wouldn't lose it, although she enjoyed having the backup of someone other than her parents who actually understood her world.
"Yes, filth," Petunia said matter-of-factly and quickly tuned away from Severus. "Why can't we all talk about something normal? Like…rugby? Or Mrs. Parker's new roses in the front yard. Oh, or how those blokes starting cursing up a storm on Bill Grundy earlier this month. Pistols or whatever. It was horrible! All over The Mirror."
"Some may consider those utterly enthralling topics of discussion to be, as you put it, filth," Severus said sagely.
"Well, those 'some' are all a bunch of strange, uncivilized—"
"Petunia!" Lily shouted, and her mother opened her mouth to interrupt but was cut off by Severus.
"Uncivilized?" Severus said incredulously.
"Yes, you heard right," Petunia said with her pointed nose high in the air. "Uncivilized people like you and my good-for-nothing baby sister—"
"Petunia Evans!" Matilda snapped. "That is no way to treat a guest in our home or your sister. You're being uncivilized this very moment!"
"Apologise now, Petunia," Edward said firmly.
"I'm not doing anything for the likes of those two! It's bad enough having one of them in the house! Now she brings in this boy who makes spells and lets Lily smell him—"
"Smell?" Edward asked. "Smelling?"
"I saw it myself. Lily was all over this…Septimus—"
"It's Severus!" Lily and Severus said simultaneously.
"—Sniffing at him. This is your crowning achievement, Mum and Dad? This? Oh please! And you know what? I've just about had enough of this. Sitting with one freak is bad enough! But two?"
"PETUNIA!" Matilda and Edward hollered. Both adults, though surely confused about the sniffing, were absolutely livid. Matilda not only looked angry, she looked embarrassed too.
"Thanks for the dinner, but I think I'll drop by Vernon's earlier than expected," Petunia said in a trembling voice, picking up her purse from the back of her chair, and began to walk to the coat-rack by the door. Suddenly, Petunia squawked and fell to the floor in a heap.
"Pet!" Matilda cried, and her parents rushed over to her.
"My heel!" Petunia yelled and lifted her leg. "My heel broke!"
And she was right: the left heel of Petunia's purple high-heeled pumps was hanging loosely by a single strand of the surrounding material. "Vernon got these shoes for me just a week ago!"
"It must be karma!" Lily shouted from the dinner table.
Petunia's eyes snapped up towards her sister. "You! You did this!"
"Don't be silly, Petunia. I'll get you a pair of mine to wear out," Matilda snapped.
"No! It was Lily using magic on me!" Petunia growled as she pointed at her sister.
"If I did use magic on you I'd be kicked out of Hogwarts!" Lily retorted.
"That didn't stop you that last time you used it!" Petunia cried.
"I just got a warning letter!" Lily said.
"What about him?" Petunia turned her pale blue eyes towards Severus.
"He didn't do anything either!" Lily snapped. Matilda was back seconds later to give Petunia a pair of rather hideous brown penny loafers.
Petunia didn't even bother responding to Lily as she gathered herself once more. "Goodnight," she said curtly to her parents, and opened the door.
"Pet, please!" Matilda said.
"Let her go on," Edward whispered and then turned his attentions to his eldest daughter. "Tell Vernon we said hello!"
"You're going to just let her go off?" Matilda seethed as Petunia walked out the door. But Lily didn't hear what her father said in response because she quickly rose from her seat and barrelled towards the door after Petunia.
It was cold. Very cold. So cold that the second Lily walked out of that door she regretted not wearing shoes as her socked feet and unclothed toes touched the wet step and pavement. Petunia was already opening her car door by the time Lily reached her. She grabbed her elder sister's arm, startling her.
"What is your problem?" Lily cried. "Why do you have to act like that all the time?"
"Get away from me, Lily," Petunia recoiled from her sister's grasp as though she was covered in sludge. "I don't want to have anything to do with anything abnormal."
"So that includes me, yeah?" Lily asked quietly with a shiver. "You don't want anything to do with me?"
"No, I don't," Petunia cried. "God, just imagine if Vernon found out about your little problem. I could just imagine the horror on his face. Anyone who isn't cracked in the head would be bloody terrified of you! How does that feel, huh, Lily? Maybe if you never got that ruddy letter—"
And Petunia went on and on and on hissing criticism her from everything from her first-year fascination with frog spawn to the incident when she turned a spare teacup into a rat over her winter hols a couple of years ago (causing her to receive a warning letter) and how much of "a Goddamn freak" Lily was. And she wouldn't stop. Lily just stood there in shock, never treated to this extent of hate from her older sister. She felt weak when she felt her eyes sting and warmth flow down her cheeks. But how could she take this abuse without reacting?
"Petunia! I can't help what I am!" Lily shouted, a sob threatening to choke through her. "I can't fucking help that I'm a witch, alright?"
"SHUT UP!" Petunia snarled, looking around her worried that somebody would overhear their conversation. As though anyone could hear their conversation with their own little parties and with the television volume up on high, or with 'Mr. and Mrs. Next Door' still playing their obnoxious music and laughing every now and then. Petunia resembled a madwoman with her lightly curled blonde hair standing on end and her eyes wide and searching the street.
"You're ashamed of me," Lily concluded. "You're either ashamed or jealous."
"Jealous?" Petunia shrieked. "Like I'd be jealous of something like you. You may get perfect marks, prefect positions, and be oh so damn popular at that freak institute of yours but I'll never be jealous of you. Never. You are not Lily Evans, the perfect little sister of Petunia Evans. You're Lily Evans the fucking blemish inflicted upon our family."
"That's not true."
"Mum and Dad haven't realised it yet, but they will. By God, they will, and the day that happens will quite possibly be the most fulfilling day of my life!"
"Shut up!"
"Face it, Lily! You're just a freak and will always be a freak."
Lily was crying freely now, sobbing in front of her sister like she would when she was so much younger, crying because Petunia got a bigger slice of a sandwich or because Petunia switched the television station. She felt her mouth quiver and heard the small whines at the back of her throat.
Petunia was shivering too; not from the cold, but out of fury. She wasn't through yet. Petunia then pointed at her sister with her long, manicured, bony finger and began to whisper.
"You…you are a nobody as far as I'm concerned. Do you hear me, Lily? A nobody. You are nothing to me."
Lily was numb. Whether it was from the cold or the verbal slam courtesy of her sister, Lily was numb. She hardly noticed Petunia's keys clinging, the slam of car door or the start her engine. She gasped as the car's rear lights hit her face with a bright red glow. Petunia's car sped down Victoria Lane and with it the light diminished, leaving Lily feeling worse than she had in an awfully long time.
"Evans?"
Senses kicking in, Lily spun around to see Severus standing in her open doorway. "Your parents said that the party is going to start in a little less than an hour," he muttered. "And your mother said that you should get inside before you catch cold."
Embarrassed, Lily quickly rubbed her eyes and nodded. "Give me a second," she said hoarsely. She hated crying in front of people, especially since it was the second time she has done such a thing in front of Severus. What luck! What horrible luck!
Lily was turned away from him once more and heard the door close. She was surprised however when she heard footsteps from behind her.
Severus stood with his hands in his pockets and his head down, hair covering his face, and sighed, "Sorry to say, but your sister is a total…utter…bitch."
Lily let out a light chuckle. "Yeah, yeah she is."
She turned towards him again. "I'm so sorry that she said all those things to you. But I shan't pretend I was surprised by her behaviour. She's just…horrible."
She felt her bottom lip tremble again and her eyes shutting, releasing another string of tears.
"I'm not entirely sure she is worth the tears, Evans," Severus said.
"She shouldn't be," Lily croaked. "She really shouldn't be."
And then she said something that she was completely surprised by.
"By the way…you can call me Lily," she said softly, and sniffled.
Silence.
"Why?" Severus said.
"Don't be a git," Lily sighed.
Severus kicked a nearby rock and scratched his chin.
"Lily."
Lily simpered wetly. "See! It's not too bad is it…Severus?"
"Har har har," Severus said. "You had your laugh, now I'm going to be heading off—"
"What?" Lily frowned.
"I thought I made it clear that I'm not staying for some damn party!" Severus sighed.
"Please! Just…just for a couple hours?" Lily begged softly.
"Why me?" Severus asked. "Why not ask your zillions of other friends and admirers? I'm sure you'd have a lot more fun getting smashed with them tonight."
"You've had a hard couple of weeks and I thought that you'd appreciate a bit of company!" Lily retorted, feeling herself becoming more and more tense the longer she talked to the boy. "I invite you to dinner so you can have a good meal—"
"—Must you say that like I'm some sort of fucking stray?—"
"—And then I invite you to remain here for a stupid little get-together and a glass of bloody champagne and you act like an idiot!"
"Oh, so I'm a idiot now?" Severus asked and nearly laughed. "You're doing one hell of a job convincing me to stay!"
Lily suddenly sat down on the steps leading to her home and lay her head on her joined knees and sighed. "It's…it's been a long night. If you really want to go, then fine. The Floo Powder is in a little potpourri pot behind the picture of Petunia in her tie-dye shirt phase. Sure as hell can't miss a picture like that."
She expected him to swiftly retreat back into the house and forget this entire "adventure" ever happened. They'd both go back to their Christmas hols and let things go back to normal.
But apparently, that New Year's Eve of 1976 was not going to work out as expected.
"Only one glass."
Lily smiled.
XXX
James Potter was high.
Very high, actually.
High enough to collapse into a heavy laughing fit when Peter decided to use his lampshade as a hat.
Oddly enough, Peter wearing a lampshade wasn't an uncommon occurrence.
For the Marauders, smoking Knotgrass was not as common of an action as drinking into the wee hours of the morning. But it was New Year's Eve…and they were bored.
"I wonder how the Muggles can just settle for their utter shite," Sirius said as he rummaged around the room. "I've tried it you know. Cannabis. Don't know what all the damn fuss's about. SHITE."
"It smells like utter shite in here," Remus said with a deep cough. "Knotgrass and the smell of boy is not a pleasant combination."
"Ha ha, smell of boy?" Sirius crinkled his nose.
"I know about the smell of boy," Peter defended Remus. "Sort like a mixture of sweat and piss and humpback whale."
The room was silent.
"Ha ha, you know what, Wormtail? Good for you for acknowledging your recent ancestors: the great humpback whales of English shore," Sirius said.
"Oi!" Peter started but was soon interrupted by James shushing him.
"Now, now, boys. No need to be hostile," the bespectacled boy smiled. "It's a holiday!"
"Cheers," Sirius nodded, and blew a long, thick line of smoke into James' face.
"Where on Earth did you get all of this Knotgrass?" Remus asked.
"You know that big, shifty bloke, Mundugnus Fletcher?" Sirius asked.
"With the tie?"
"Yeah."
"And the hat?"
"Sure."
"And the yellow jacket."
"It's brown, actually. Brown. You know what else is brown?"
"Merlin, we don't need to be reminded, Sirius," Remus groaned, expecting the worst.
"Trees. And my mum's favourite robes," Sirius sighed. "Cunt."
"Your mum?" Peter said.
"Who else?" Sirius growled. "Good Lord, Peter. Leave it to you to piss me off on Knotgrass."
"Sorry," Peter said, excitedly taking another drag.
"Well…" Sirius pointed at Peter with the steadily shrinking, smoking stub, "fuck you."
"This'll cheer you up, mate," James grinned. "Look at what I got!" James said, suddenly fumbling with a rather large instant camera. "Those Muggle cameras. The ones that, like, flash and the picture shoots out. I saw these girls usin' it at the train station a while back."
"Mum has one of those at home,'" Peter informed with wide-eyed wonderment as he stubbed out the joint and edged closer to the camera.
"How'd you get that?" Remus asked.
"Nicked it. From a second-year, I reckon," James shrugged.
"What don't you steal, anymore? Have to get your hands on everything," Remus said.
"Aha ha, damn straight he does!" Sirius chimed in. "Especially possessive at night. God, it's like if he doesn't wank, Jimmy'll fall right off!"
"Haha, as if you don't wank too," James muttered with the joint hanging loosely from his lips. "But, she had red hair…the second-year. Sort of like Li—"
"DON'T," Sirius interrupted with a cough. "Don't bring up the swot for one bloody night, please. The only thing you should be thinking about is Knotgrass…and this camera…and Knotgrass. Ha ha ha."
"I can talk about whatever I want," James defended. "Unless you steal my mouth. Which would be really…bad."
"Might do the world some good, actually," Sirius chuckled. Peter did too, being ever so loyal.
James blew his smoke into Sirius' face, but in a way which severely lacked Sirius' grace. How could such a blot do everything so beautifully? So damn perfect, he was. James felt ashamed, really. He wanted a second try.
"So, you know how to use it, Pete?" Sirius asked incredulously, nearly looking at Peter as though he was a new person. The plump blond boy was suddenly redeemed, it seemed.
"Sure I do," Peter said, grabbed the camera, and after furrowing his brows in concentration, clicked a large black button and caused a mighty flash, startling the three other boys.
"MERLIN, I'M MELTING!" Sirius winced, took another drag, and continued. "I'M FUCKING MELTING."
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Peter yelped.
"No worries. But you're buying me a new face," Sirius said.
Peter gulped.
"Although," Sirius started, as he reached for the forgotten photo which lay forlornly on James' patterned, carpeted rug ('the pansy rug', Sirius called it) and looked at it fondly. "No face can replace mine. I look good. Stubby Boardman sort of good. No, better than Stubby!"
Peter gasped.
"Yeah," Sirius nodded with a small grin gracing his lips. "You heard right. I reckon I look better in leather than he does."
"I doubt it," Remus said.
Sirius stopped puckering his lips at himself to turn towards Remus, who looked relaxed for a change. Knotgrass really did do wonders. "Have you been paying attention to his leather?" Sirius asked suspiciously.
"Sort of hard not to at that ball. I mean…it was sort of…er…" Remus tried to demonstrate with his hands. It didn't quite work. "…There."
Sirius' suspicion soon ebbed away and was replaced with a query. "Are you going to finish that off or just hold it like a fucking twat?"
He was looking at Remus' joint like some sort of hungry animal looking for a bloody watering hole. "Yes, yes I am."
"Damn," Sirius sighed, stood up, and stretched.
"STOP!" Peter suddenly yelped. "STOP, STOP, STOP!"
"Ha ha, what's he yelling at?" Sirius said, stumbling for a moment and bumping into James' dresser, which seemed to attract his attention. "Oh, hallo, love. Didn't see you there."
"The shadow on the wall," Peter's voice trembled.
Sirius looked behind him, only to find a shadow of himself along James' candle-lit wall. "Oh, hello, shadow. Looking fetching as usual."
To James' horror, Sirius decided it was a good time to kiss the wall.
"You're higher than a bloody kite, Sirius," Remus said.
"You say that as though it's a bad thing! Oi, Moony, turn up the wireless! I like this song!"
Remus did as was told but sighed in return. "Padfoot, a song isn't playing. It's some bloke talking about Gringotts finances this year."
Sirius didn't seem to mind though. "Dance with me!"
"I don't like your hip gyrations. Might break something," Remus said.
"Haha, like my dresser," James said. He quickly regretted it, actually, when he noticed Sirius attempt to pick up the grand piece of wooden furniture. "Don't!"
"But what about my urge?" Sirius pouted. "I need to dance with something. Where is your mum, Prongs? She'll dance with me!"
"You stay away from my mum! You'll probably corrupt her and…make her join a broom gang."
"…Broom gang?" Sirius said, resorting to shaking his hips in an odd sort of jig. "Sounds sort of kinky. Mrs. Potter in leather…"
"Ha ha, she's over sixty, you fucker."
"And she can't wear leather? No wonder she only wears those tartan robes. You're oppressing her wardrobe. You ought to be ashamed. Remus, you smell good."
"I do?" Remus asked.
"Yep, your sweater smells like… Oh God…it's amazing, whatever it is," Sirius said, and suddenly bit Remus' arm.
"Ouch! What did you do that for?" Remus exclaimed, rubbing his arm and staring into Sirius darkening, hazy eyes.
"Smelled good. Thought it'd taste good, too," Sirius reasoned.
"Why am I even friends with you?" Remus asked.
"Because without me…" Sirius started. "Uhm…yes…ha ha."
"Thought so," Remus said.
"I love you guys."
"That's nice, Peter."
XXX
"These are some pictures of my father back in World War Two," Lily said, pointing towards the black-and-white and sepia-toned photos of a handsome young man in uniform, a couple of them with other men of the army as well. "My dad was called up during the Blitz, when he was only nineteen.
"Then he met Mum at a wedding of a friend of his from the military," she continued as she looked at an old picture of her parents (dated, in the corner, to have been taken in 1949) and a wedding picture taken in 1951. Mrs. Evans was quite the beauty then, with her high cheekbones, large eyes, plump lips, and light freckles.
"Then…she was born a few years later." Lily glared at a baby picture of the Evanses and Petunia. "And then me five years after that."
A photo of Petunia and her parents with Lily as a baby was next on the wall of pictures. Further along the wall were mostly baby and toddler pictures of the Evans sisters separately and together: playing in backyards and bedrooms and bathrooms and by lakes and streams. It was apparent, from the colour photos, that Lily's red hair used to be a much more vibrant red, with bold curls. Her eyes, however, were just as green now as they were then.
"So…" Lily switched gears, turning towards Severus and slowly sipping her sweet wine. "Glad you stuck around to hear the history of the Evans family?"
"Sure," Severus replied, halfway through his second glass of scotch whiskey, and looking around the hallway in what must have been an obviously impatient, anxious manner, because Lily swiftly put a gentle hand on his shoulder. All he could do was stare at it.
"Relax," he heard her say. "Just breathe."
"I am breathing," Severus muttered, draining his glass.
"Really? It looks like you're breathing the alcohol rather than air," Lily observed with a raised brow.
"You didn't specify what to breathe," Severus pointed out.
Lily chuckled. "I suppose not. Just don't get too hammered. I don't want to be the only relatively sober one in this house. I'm not much of a drinker yet."
"It was me."
Lily chuckled. "What? What was you?"
"Your sister's heel. I think I…accidentally…broke it," Severus said.
"How'd you have done that? Accidental magic?" Lily asked.
"I think so…I was sort of wishing she'd fall on her face," Severus murmured.
Lily giggled, her eyes hidden under her dark lashes momentarily. "I see. Well, I can't say I'm angry about it."
The duo wandered downstairs moments later only to be bombarded with a parade of sound, which remained muffled and suppressed upstairs, but hit their ears full force as they hit the bottom of the stairs.
"AND THEN…AND THEN PETUNIA GOES, 'BUT MUMMY, I HAVEN'T GOT ANY BISCUITS IN MY PANTS!'"
The house was like a magnet. A magnet for middle-aged individuals from all over the ruddy city into the Evanses' sitting room. Old jazz music drifted through the home on a large record player as the guests played cards, drank glass after glass and bottle after bottle of various drinks and spirits; munching on sweets in front of a wood-panelled colour television showing news reports and crowds gathering for New Year's around Central London and Big Ben.
"Mum gets like this every year," Lily said in a raised voice as she finished off a glass in the deserted kitchen and rolled her eyes at the hysterical occupants of the home. "She starts reminiscing and telling horrible stories about Petunia and I."
"And with biscuits in pants?" Severus smirked as helped himself to a third glass of the spirit.
"Apparently so," Lily sighed, and pushed her hair over her left shoulder. Her mother ordered her to change into something more "presentable", thus leading Lily to change into a simple white dress with a blue sweater covering her freckled shoulders. He noticed bold lipstick marks on the edge of her glass as she set the crystal down on the kitchen counter next to the sink. "I think she tells that one every year."
"Hm," Severus said, holding the wine glass and looking around the kitchen with an animated nature and lifted brows rarely seen by anyone; especially not Lily Evans. "You…have photos on the fridge."
Lily smiled lightly, "Yeah, stuck with magnets and stuff."
"We don't have that," Severus said softly.
"It's nothing to be jealous about, believe me," Lily snorted. "C'mon, Mum wants us to be relatively social."
"They're all smashed beyond reason. They can't tell the difference between a intelligent conversation and a lampshade," Severus said as he scratched his head.
He followed her back into the main room anyway, only to be ambushed by Mr. and Mrs. Evans and a camera.
"Lily! Lily, dear! Oh! Oh, you too Severus!" Matilda tittered and grabbed the two teenagers by their upper arms and dragged them towards the company.
"Severus, my boy," Edward Evans said with a hand on the boy's shoulder and pointed to the guests with his wine glass. "This is Mister and Missus Wales, Mister and Missus Oliver, Mister and Missus O'Connell and her brother Timmy Richards, Laura Shire, Mister and Missus York, Ian Frecklestien and his girlfriend Angelica Malone, and the two outside having a smoke are William Bretford and his friend Samantha North. Oh! And this is Mister and Missus Porter and next to them is Mister and Missus Compari and Mister and Missus Murray."
The guests all greeted him merrily (or, perhaps, drunkenly), and began to laugh and chat and deal more cards around a card table.
"Oooh, Lily! You have yourself a little boyfriend, eh?" Mrs. Oliver winked, her heavily-lidded, wrinkled eyes landing on Severus with a look of interest and a sickeningly sweet smile.
"Oh, no no no!" Lily chuckled. "I mean—yes, I do have a boyfriend, but Severus is just a friend from school."
"Oh, how is school going, love?"
"Great, thanks."
"You must be beating the lads away with a stick, Lily!" Laura Shire, a young thirty-something year old woman said, walking away from Timmy to approach the girl.
"Or a wand," Lily whispered to Severus with a smirk and hugged Laura tightly.
"Well don't you look beautiful!" Laura admired, taking a good look at the girl.
"As do you! You lost weight!" Lily smiled.
"Took a lot of work! Ran every day for an hour, haven't touched fish and chips in months, and haven't eaten a bit of chocolate!" Laura said proudly, but was interrupted by Mr. York.
"Are you a musician, boy?" barked York excitedly.
"He's talking to you," Lily said as Severus stared blankly at the television.
"Oh…no…no, sir," Severus replied slowly.
"I figured from the hair," York explained.
"Oh, honey, it's all a fashion. Remember when all the boys started wearing those little hats like those beatniks in America? Just like that!" Mrs. York said.
"We're taking pictures!" Edward interrupted with a chuckle and dragged Lily and Snape to the wall next to the kitchen door. The two were thrust up against an off-white wall hung with several photos of the Evanses, as well as a watercolour painting. They were soon surrounded by a few guests.
Severus heard Lily protesting the photo but he, on the other hand, was more distracted by the close contact between himself and the red-haired girl. Their shoulders touched as she talked animatedly to her father.
"Don't fuss!" Matilda chided. "'S just for sentimental value! No, don't hold it like that, Ed! We'll send it to your through the post when it's developed."
Edward was peering and squinting at the camera as though he'd never held one before. The man was obviously tipsy, along with everyone else in the house…including Severus as he drained his glass once more.
"Merlin, I'm sorry," Lily murmured to him hurriedly. "I should have warned you: my parents are absolutely intolerable when drunk."
"'S alright," Severus said slowly.
"Okay, now stand closer, kids," Matilda directed as Edward held the camera steady…albeit slanted.
Lily and Severus glanced at each other and both blushed and looked away from each other in an awkward silence as they shuffled to stand closer together.
Severus felt a chill travel up and down his spine, through his stomach and to his skull as he felt Lily's curved hip brush against his own.
"Come on, put your arm around her!" Matilda smiled, although Severus sensed Edward stiffen.
"They're close enough, Tilly," Edward insisted.
"Nonsense!" Matilda said. "You two are friends, yeah? Severus, put your arm around her waist, darling."
All the women in the room were now surrounding the two and smiling fondly, as though the two were a couple of children putting on a holiday play at primary school rather than two individuals of sixteen (almost seventeen in Severus' case) years; one of whom already had a boyfriend who she should be photographed with in such an extremely friendly stance…the other of whom hardly felt as though he belonged or should have even been there in the first place.
But he quickly, would be carelessly, snaked his arm around Lily's waist, holding her in place stiffly before she sighed and relaxed into him, wrapping her arm around his waist, as well.
"Aw, isn't that precious," Matilda asked no one in particular.
"I'll allow you to destroy the evidence later," Lily whispered in his ear, her warm breath startling him as he picked up the strong aroma of sweet wine and a natural, clean, fresh scent coming from her hair—it reminded him of something sweet and festive, resembling the equally intoxicating aromas emitted from the various candles and sweets around the room.
Her hand now rested on his embarrassingly thin waist, which was covered by black trousers much too big for him. Even while close to tipsy he could still determine the material of her dress as the white cloth smothered his fingertips: silk; white silk, turned an off white with a hint of gold in the yellow light of the lamps and candles.
He glanced at her again out of the corner of his eye and reluctantly realised that, despite her disgusting habit of getting involved into everyone's business and her cheek, Lily Evan's obligation to attempt to do good was…relatively admirable in his eyes. He understood why she was popular: she had a good looks, smarts, an appropriately edgy defiance about her…and a good heart.
Despite that, he couldn't bring himself to call her a friend.
He didn't want Lily Evans to be his friend.
He wanted her to leave him alone, not immerse herself in his problems.
He wouldn't let her.
She didn't deserve it.
"Smile!" Edward said, yet Severus reacted late.
Two photos were taken and Severus was worried that he may have blinked from such a strong flash.
"Erm…Severus?"
Severus glanced at Lily, whose lips formed a sheepish smile.
"You can…your hand…my, er, hip."
"Oh, erm," Severus muttered as he released his arm around her. "Sorry."
"I'm going to get a glass of water. I'll be back in a sec," Lily said, rushing back into the kitchen, leaving him alone with the overstimulated adults. As he leaned against the wall once more, he looked around the room, bored, until his glance fell on Matilda Evans, who was pouring herself another glass of scotch whiskey from the table crowded with bottles of alcohol.
"Severus, dear! Come, come!" Matilda called, as though just laying eyes on the boy.
Severus had no choice but to approach Mrs. Evans, only to hear a question that he was not expecting.
"Severus, do you fancy my daughter?"
"No," Severus said promptly, already becoming increasingly frustrated and embarrassed despite nobody overhearing.
"Oh come now, dear! No need to be shy. I know that she's…what do you lot call them these days…oh yes! I know she is what you blokes call a 'foxy lass', yeah?"
Never in his life had Severus ever heard anyone use the words 'foxy' and 'lass' in the same sentence. And he wasn't all that sure that he could bear to hear it again without cringing.
"No, Mrs. Evans. She's…a nice…person, but…I don't. Sorry."
Suddenly, Lily reappeared, walking towards the two, but from such an angle that only Severus could see her. She was about to make her presence known when Matilda started nodding her head in understanding.
"Oooooh, I see. So you prefer blokes, is it?"
"MUM!"
Severus excused himself to another glass.
XXX
It was a few minutes until midnight and only the scent of the strong, foul-smelling herbs drifted around the room. Scattered amongst the dozens of inane photos strewn around the floor of James' room were crumbs of cake and other sweets. An hour into their, as Sirius declared it, 'Knot Year' party, the boys were absolutely famished (a typical side-effect). And despite Sirius' incessant pleas for James not to start, the bespectacled boy could not, and absolutely wouldn't, stop talking about…
"Lily's hair is so…" James sighed, muttering and looking absolutely miserable. His high was becoming absolutely melancholy. "Red. Red like…like…like my sheets."
"Your sheets are blue, James," Remus reminded him.
"Blue, red, same difference, mate," James said. "And…Merlin…she has really nice knees, you know."
"SHOULD AULD ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT AND NEVER BROUGHT TO MIIIIIND! DO DO DO DO DA DA DA DA AND AULD LANG SYNE!" Sirius began to sing, his head tilted back and his dark hair touching his bare shoulder blades (the four had decided that shirts were unnecessary hours ago).
"OI, SHUT UP!" James yelled. "I'm trying to be deep! Like an ocean!"
"More like a puddle," Remus said.
"FOR AULD LANG SYNE, MY DEAR, FOR AULD LANG SYNE, WE'LL TAKE A CUP OF KINDNESS YET, FOR AULD LANG—"
James promptly threw a pillow at Sirius chest.
"OOF! Fuck off, you twat, I'm singing. My soul is free."
"Alright, Stubby. Just sing to yourself," James said.
"Wanker."
"Tit-dragger."
"Your mum."
"You like my mum. She feeds you cakes."
Sirius considered this for a moment.
"Back to Evans," James said. "I…think I love her."
"No you don't," Sirius chuckled.
"Yes I do. I love her. Luuuurve. You know. Real lurve," James insisted with sad eyes around at the boys.
"Love," Remus sighed while Peter poked at his bellybutton.
"Am I fat?" Peter asked sadly.
"Your arse sure is," Sirius drawled.
"Lily said my head was fat…sort of. Remember last year? When he pulled down Snivellus' dirty arse pants?" James reminded them.
"How could I forget?" Sirius asked, seeming to relish the memory and began to giggle. "The look on all their faces. Unforgettable, mate. Un-for-fucking-gettable."
"Apparently my chiding did absolutely nothing," Remus said.
"It did…for about five minutes, ha ha ha," Sirius laughed.
"Anyway, she said my head was fat. That I can't get off my ruddy broom," James groaned. "Why doesn't she call Alexander's ears fat?"
Remus shrugged.
"Fucking buggering twat," James groaned. "Why him? Why not me? I mean…I don't have fat ears. My ears are cute, right?"
"Alexander's are cuter," Sirius mocked.
"Shut up," James said, tenderly touching his ears.
"I think your ears are nice, mate," Peter said seriously. "I've seen worse. Like…Professor Slughorn has really small ones. And they're hairy."
"Are mine hairy?" James asked worriedly. He couldn't have hairy ears! Especially not if it meant the difference between snogging Lily or…not. James promptly dug his face into his open palms. "I lose!"
"No, they're perfect. Like a baby's bum," Peter said.
James looked up at the blonde boy sitting across from him with a face of pure disgust. "Bum?"
"Take it as a compliment," Remus suggested.
"Oh, well thanks," James said with a warm smile. "Like I was saying before the bum got in the way…I really think I'm in love with her…and her hair…and her freckles…"
"No you aren't. You're bonkers!" Sirius laughed hysterically.
"Who are you to say?" James asked, deciding to poke his bellybutton just as Peter had been doing, earlier.
"Ha ha ha, I'm all-knowing!" Sirius exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with hilarity. "And as an all-knowing being I know that you are not in love with her. You're in lust with her!"
James' mouth wide hung open. "Am not!"
"You're in lust with her and her hair and her bloody freckles. That's not love. That's freckle rape."
Suddenly, to the surprise of all the boys, Remus doubled over laughing, clutching his side and his head banging on the floor. He even began to roll a bit and as though his laughs were contagious, Peter too began to chuckle.
"Freckle!" Remus managed to breathe out. "Rape!"
"You would think that's funny, wolfy," Sirius said.
"What do I do?" James asked, running his hand through his hair. "Remus, you're friends with Evans."
Remus sobered up from his laughing streak and looked at James, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. "Yeah…"
"What do you reckon?" James said intensely.
"AND SURELY YE'LL BE YOUR PINT-STOWP AND SURELY I'LL BE MIIIIINE!"
"She doesn't like you giving her stupid gifts…like that nightie. Wrote to me about it. Lily was furious," Remus said.
"Well what does she want?" James asked sadly.
"The moon?" Peter said dreamily. "Who wouldn't want the moon?"
"I wouldn't."
"Oh…right, sorry, Moony," Peter sighed.
"Back to me," James said, stealing the spotlight once more.
"She likes books, and poetry, and charms," Remus said. "And music."
"She likes the Beatles," James smiled. "You know, that band…Lily told me in first year. Said I was crazy not to have heard of them."
"Aye," Remus nodded.
"Next year, you lot. It's going to work out." Remus opened his mouth, only to be cut off once more. "I know I've said it about four times before, but I can really feel it."
"Maybe that's the Knotgrass talking," Sirius said. "You can do better than Evans, mate."
"There is nothing better than Evans," James said fiercely. "She's first rate. She's groovy. La crème de la crème. Or something like that. Aye."
"Next year should be interesting, to say the least," Remus smirked.
"Interesting doesn't cut it! It'll be amazing, fantastic, superb!"
"SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS?" Peter helped.
"What?" Remus, James, and Sirius all said simultaneously.
"Forget it."
"I like that word…ha ha…I'll have to use it more often," Sirius decided.
"Please don't," Remus sighed.
Peter, on the other hand, looked very pleased with himself.
"WE TWA HAE PAIL'D IN THE BURN FRAE MORNING SUN TIL DIIIINE, BUT SEAS BETWEEN US BRAID HAE ROAR'D SIN AULD LANG SYNE!"
It was moments like these that James wanted to savour forever. Moments in which Sirius was singing at the top of his lungs, high beyond reason, while the rest of them laughed for no reason…or when they were just roaming Hogwarts, pranking and creating plans…or just passing stupid notes to each other…everything. He hoped he'd always remember them. He knew things wouldn't always be like they were now, laying shirtless without a care in the world. Maybe it was the Knotgrass that made him feel such a love for them at that moment…but he doubted it.
Times were changing, and as much as he liked to think it didn't scare him, he was kidding himself. Bluntly, it scared him shitless.
He could be dead tomorrow.
Worse yet, his family…his friends could be dead tomorrow.
Lily…
The war hung over the Wizarding World like an impending noose. You knew it was there, just waiting, but you could avoid if you tried. If you really tried, you could make it appear as though it was gone. Just for a little while. But that little while did wonders to one's consciousness.
He smiled, they were all singing and laughing around his room now. High off their arses, taking photos of one another that they'd all regret the next morning and would be sure to take advantage of if the opportunity for blackmail ever came.
James didn't want it to end. He didn't want to stop swinging his shirt around in his left hand…glasses in his right…and singing like a loon.
It was moments like these that most took for granted. But James Potter wouldn't.
He couldn't.
After all, tomorrow they could be lying dead, shirtless on the floor or eating his mum's scones.
Anything could happen. He couldn't risk taking anything for granted.
…Then again…it could have just been the Knotgrass talking.
XXX
The evening's events spun into one large blob of noise, sound, embarrassment, and laughter. Everyone in the home was glued to the television set, waiting for the broadcasts of Big Ben's bells ringing and Londoners gathering, some running amuck at Trafalgar Square.
She's always wanted to go there again for New Year's. She hadn't gone since she was about six, but she remembered it being a flurry of activity that you couldn't help but be excited about.
It was strange, having Severus Snape (who was getting steadily drunk) in her home for the evening. Severus Snape, target of torment and poor jokes, and also a very intelligent human being.
Though so sad.
"Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven!"
Thought of the death of Eileen still caused a shudder to travel through her.
But one thing that Severus mentioned yesterday at the funeral still bothered her to the bone: What if Eileen recognized had her? Of course, there are probably plenty of…Lily Evanses…
With red hair, green eyes, and Muggle roots.
It was all just so strange to her! But she tried not to think about it and pay attention to the television set, counting down to the New Year, which was literally seconds away.
"Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen!"
"Severus," Lily breathed. "I'm really glad you came. Truly."
He didn't respond, but drained his glass for what may have been the fourth or fifth time that night.
"Severus!" she said, trying to get his attention.
"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six!"
"What?" Severus asked, staring at the television set.
"Just…"
"Five, four, three!"
"What?" Severus asked again, looking at her finally.
"Two, one—HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
The adults promptly and simultaneously began to sing "Auld Lang Syne", as though they had all planned it, raising their glasses and kissing each other and smiling. Lily, with much surprise, noticed her father getting teary-eyed as he looked at the television set and quickly sharing a kiss with Matilda. She couldn't help but smile.
"Nothing…just…nothing. Happy New Year, Severus."
With that, she lightly touched his shoulder, causing Severus to turn his head towards her. His eyes darted back and forth from her hand—resting on that old, smoky jacket—to her face, and his eyes grew wide as she leaned in towards him and quickly kissed him on the cheek, just as though he were her friend.
Why she did it, Lily never truly knew, and she didn't have much time to ponder it as her parents dragged her away for hugs and kisses strongly smelling of champagne. Maybe she did it out of subconscious pressure due to the kisses everyone else in the room were distributing. Maybe she felt bad that, unlike her, he didn't have a mother to go and hug and kiss him, as Lily's mother was doing right now. Maybe he was lonely and maybe he appreciated it.
Or perhaps he was horrified.
For whatever reason, she didn't regret it and didn't wish to take it back, and tried not to think of it again.
Little did she know that while she hugged and laughed with her mother, Severus stood alone, in a complete daze, with his fingertips lightly touching the spot on his cheek at which Lily's bold, lipstick-covered lips had touched his skin.
XXX
Alcohol, old biscuits, and crumbled fruitcake drifted through Severus' nostrils as he stirred in his sleep, having a dreamless night for the first time since Christmas. He twisted and turned, trying to get comfortable. Groaning, he discovered something didn't feel quite right. A soft, fluffy pillow graced his head…feeling quite different than usual; his pillow was usually had a rather deflated air about it. His eyes opened halfway and he noticed, also, that he still wore his father's fag-ridden leather jacket. Perhaps that was what was keeping him from getting comfortable again. He quickly shrugged it off, only to feel a sudden, sharp pain at his elbow.
Severus rubbed elbow, as well as his eyes, trying to figure out what obstructed him.
Oh, just the sofa, Severus thought, and quickly pulled off the jacket again before plopping his head back down on his pillow and closing his eyes.
Mere seconds passed until his eyes sprung open once again. This time, it wasn't from comfort…instead it was surprise…fear…and wonderment.
Severus didn't have a couch in his room. And his couch was certainly not a lovely brown colour.
Severus was wide-awake at that moment, and took another good look at the pillow.
It was pink.
He didn't own anything pink.
His heartbeat quickened as he glanced around him. And that's when it hit him.
He wasn't at his house.
That wasn't his couch he hit his elbow against.
And this certainly wasn't his pillow.
His heart suddenly stopped as he looked to his right…only to find a slumbering Lily Evans atop the plush couch.
"Fuck," he whispered.
Looking out the window he could see extremely heavy fog caressing the glass. It seemed to be another typical, overcast day to start off the New Year. All the guests were gone, the front room still had half-empty glasses, little dishes of snacks, and he even found a pair of black shoes on the floor by the ornate Christmas tree by the fireplace.
He scratched his back as his gaze suddenly fell upon the girl to whose family the house belonged, and as he got a good look at her, it took a lot of self-control not to laugh.
Lily's auburn hair was incredibly messy, coming down in tangled strands across her face. Her mouth was opened slightly and if you looked closely, one could see a thin, delicate string of saliva hanging from the corner of her pink lips. It was amazing that she still managed to look pretty under such circumstances. He noticed she too still wore her clothes from the previous night, which, after surely tossing and turning a few time on the couch, caused her dress to be wrinkled, and pulled out of place in certain areas. A rather ample amount of the girl's chest was exposed, and Severus forced himself to look away from the gentle rising and falling motion of Lily's lightly freckled chest as she breathed.
He felt his breath catch in his throat as he hazily thought back to the previous night and that damn kiss. He didn't know what to think of it.
He didn't hate it. He had to admit that much. It was just so unexpected and…tender. Something he certainly wasn't used to.
He needed to go home. He couldn't stay here, in Lily Evans' home, all day! What if Mrs. Evans decided that she wanted him to stay for breakfast or something? No, he'd have to leave. With a groan he got up, rubbed his sore back, and looked atop the fireplace.
He had stepped forward, making his way to the fireplace, when his foot made contact with a half-deflated balloon which just had enough air in it to make a small pop.
Severus winced, and turned around to see if the sleeping prefect had heard anything.
She kept drooling on, and he breathed a sigh of relief and took another step forward, only to lightly stub his toe on a nearby chair, which proceeded to creak ever so softly.
He suddenly heard shuffling, and turned around to see Lily groan, rub her eyes, and stretch her left arm. It was beyond him how on Earth she could not wake up at a balloon popping, but rouse from a chair barely creaking!
"Evans," he whispered.
The redhead continued to make little mewing noises and rub her eyes.
"Evans. Lily?" he said, taking a step closer. "I'm leav—"
He was unable to complete his statement, however, because Lily suddenly opened her sleep-filled eyes, shrieked, and kicked her leg out…her foot swiftly making contact with Severus' groin.
"OH MY GOD!" Lily gasped, leapt up, quickly straightened out her dress, and then bent down towards the groaning boy. "Are you alright?"
"What the hell is wrong with you, Evans?" Severus wheezed, landing on the floor in a foetal position with his eyes squeezed shut. "Do I look alright to you?"
"Erm…"
"Why didn't you just take an extra step and rip my bollocks off?"
"No need to get snippy, now," Lily snapped, flailing her arms around wondering what to do to help the poor boy.
"No need to get snippy?" Severus asked incredulously, in a high-pitched tone. "Do you realize how good of a kick you have?"
"I do?" Lily asked, and she sounded rather proud of herself. "Well, I did sort of do leg squats every night around the dorm whenever I got the—"
"Why. Did. You. Kick. Me?" Severus growled into the carpet.
"You scared me! It's so dark and…you could have been…breaking in?" Lily reasoned lamely.
"What on Earth is with your family and burglars?" Severus bit back.
Lily grabbed his hand and helped him up before he made any more of a fuss. Her lips were parted and lightly chapped with smeared lipstick, and her eyes were a mess due to smudged eye makeup and…did he spot a bit of glitter next to her eyebrow? She looked a lovely mess.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Lily sighed as she began to edge towards the kitchen. She began to glance back every few seconds, as though making sure he didn't collapse on the floor again on his own accord. "Do you need anything, Severus? I make a mighty good cuppa!"
He didn't want to hear it. He, albeit sorely, made his way over towards the fireplace, and quickly scanned the shelf covered with family photos until he found a cringe-worthy photo of a grinning, obnoxious young blonde, wearing a purple and orange tie-dye shirt, standing with her hands on her hips in what looked like a park.
"JUST WAIT ONE SECOND!" he heard Lily call from the kitchen. "HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR TEA?"
Quickly slipping his hand through the small opening of the pot, he grabbed a handful of the shimmering powder and quickly threw it into the dying embers.
"I'VE GOT A PLASTIC BAG WITH ICE IN IT! THAT'LL HELP, YEAH?"
That was the last thing he heard Lily say as he wasted no time stepping into the roaring green flames and yelled his address and was soon spinning…and spinning…and spinning…and when he finally flew out of his fireplace, face to face with his father smoking on the couch…and…
"Well," Tobias said. "I ain't cleaning tha'up."
He wished he hadn't had that fourth glass of scotch whiskey.
A/N 2: I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter (if you survived it!). Thanks for reading and I'd love your reviews! They really do give me some confidence in my writing, which I've been questioning recently.
ALSO! One of my LJ friends has completed a commissioned fan art based on a certain scene in this chapter. If you go to my LJ (linked in my user info) and find my public entry for January 1, 2007 you'll find a link to it :D