Note: I love this song. :) It's one of my favourites.

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Chess

Nobody's Side

This was one of the moments Hermione really missed Crookshanks. He had been her pet, but he had been so much more – he had been her friend. And even though he had had a character of his own, he had always managed to sense whenever his mistress needed him, and come to her. Paddled up to her on his soft paws, jumped into her lap, perhaps clawed her a bit in the process (but only because that was his way of showing affection), laid his squashed flat orange face down and purred as she patted him. She would talk to him and he would meow in understanding. She could always count on her dear Crookshanks.

But now he was gone, dead or prisoned in some cold and dreadful dungeon. And no one was there to comfort Hermione as she was still crying, no one was there to pat her on the back and tell her everything was going to be fine. Not that Crookshanks had ever done the latter two, but his purring in her lap had been enough.

"What's going on around me
Is barely making sense," she told the empty common room and merrily cracking flames. And it was truth – all the recent events were not alike to what was usually happening around her. Although it was not too uncommon for her to yell at Harry and Ron, and Malfoy for that matter, Moody and Snape were a very different thing. But that was not the worst – the worst was still Ron, and his words.

And everything had been going so well, or at least in the right direction. He had held her, and he had comforted her, and he had looked at her with a passion that in some situations would have made her blush, and he had told her he wanted to win the match for her. Everything had been so great, and then...

He had spoken those words without even realizing he had said something wrong. Had he really meant it? And all the things he had said after... He had been angry, of course, but she couldn't help but wonder. Was Ron really this prejudiced against Muggles? Had he been like this all the past seven years, or was it a new development?

"No, this can't be true," she stated firmly. "There has to be some mistake. Because..."

Because if it were true, Ron would be no better than Slytherins. In fact, he would be worse, for he would be a hypocrite as well. At least Slytherins let everybody know what they thought of Muggles.

"I need some explanations fast
I see my present partner
In the imperfect tense
And I don't see how we can last
I feel I need a change of cast."

She sighed. She really liked Ron, but sometimes, in times like these, she couldn't see them having any future other than constant yelling and fighting. And that was not her idea of happily ever after.

"Maybe I'm on nobody's side," she sobbed. And nobody is on my side.

"Perhaps I'm overreacting," she spoke to the flames after a moment of thought. "But perhaps... I aren't."

The fire gave a loud crack, and Hermione found that a bit comforting. It was most pathetic to be talking to a fire without anyone's face in it, but that was all she had at the moment.

"And when he gives me reasons
To justify each move
They're getting harder to believe
I know this can't continue
I've still a lot to prove
There must be more I could achieve
But I don't have the nerve to leave.

"Because he is a good guy," she argued with herself. "Sometimes a bit rash and thoughtless and quick to anger, but his heart is in the right place. It's so awful of me to even be thinking these things... I'm a horrible person!

"But I don't want to be the one he always lets his anger out on... I don't want him to yell at me whenever he is under pressure... and not only yell, but say all these terrible things... I don't want to be the girl who stays with her boy no matter how badly he treats her.

"I am a person! I have feelings, too! I'm not just some... some... some pawn he could tell what to do and how to act and what to feel."

Pawn.

Hermione halted in her monologue.

...pawns just like Muggles...

Did he... no, no, he couldn't...

"He has never cared about my blood or heritage!" she announced fiercely, as if the fire or empty room had made that remark.

But then why couldn't he have dropped that issue like she had begged him to? Why couldn't he have just let go of it? Why did he have to keep mentioning it over and over and over again?

What was Ron playing at? Other than chess and her feelings.

"Everybody's playing the game
But nobody's rules are the same
Nobody's on nobody's side.
Better learn to go it alone
Recognize you're out on your own
Nobody's on nobody's side."

And she really was out on her own. Ron had deserted her. Harry had deserted her. Even Ginny was nowhere around. She was all alone.

And she was getting angry again.

"Fine!" she declared. "Fine! If that's what he wants, then that's what he gets. It's time for him to learn that he cannot just tear my heart out and stomp on it, and later make it all up with one miserable apology. If he is not on my side, I won't be on his either!"

She sighed again, and realizing she had got up from her seat at one point without even noticing it, instead of sitting down again, Hermione walked over to the window.

The glass was frozen with flowers of ice as the weather had turned cold all of a sudden, as if it had known what this day would bring. Her breath left a misty spot on the window pane, but it didn't matter since she couldn't see through it anyway. She examined the beautiful patterns the frost had drawn upon the glass – so cold, yet so beautiful. It reminded her of something, or actually – someone.

"The one I should not think of
Keeps rolling through my mind," she whispered to the ice.

A few moments ago she had been talking to the fire, and now she was talking to the ice. She was probably going crazy, especially with the thoughts currently running through her mind.

Why was she thinking of him of all the people? And, more importantly, why did the idea fill her with peace instead of hatred and anger?

"And I don't want to let that go," she found herself saying.

Because Ron had looked at her with such passion, and the ice-flowers were cold yet beautiful. And because she was drawn to the latter.

"It's official," Hermione decided. "I have gone insane. There really is no other explanation. I'm standing by the window, staring at the floral frost, and thinking about... or perhaps even dreaming about..."

She left her sentence unfinished. Saying it out aloud would have made it too final, too true, and she didn't know if she could have handled that at the moment.

"You are dreaming about who?" a voice asked, and Hermione couldn't help jumping into the air and letting out a short cry of surprise.

Once safely back on the ground, she wheeled around at top speed, to find Ginny standing there and smiling at her.

"Dreaming about my brother?" she asked, and Hermione couldn't help but blush.

Yet this was not good enough for Ginny, it seemed.

"Dreaming about someone else than my brother?" she ventured further, and once again Hermione could not help but blush deeper.

Ginny raised her brow at that, and Hermione realized she had better tell her something fast before she would take it the wrong way. (Which actually was the right way.)

"Who told you I was thinking about a person?" she said as calmly as she could manage.

"What else could you be thinking about?"

"Well, if you must really know, I was thinking about-" Think, Hermione, think fast. "-pancakes."

Good going, Hermione, she mentally rolled her eyes. Smartest witch at Hogwarts, really?

Ginny didn't seem to be buying her lame excuse one bit, and she couldn't really blame her.

"Pancakes?"

"Yes, pancakes," Hermione said, as it was too late to back out of it now. "I got this weird craving for pancakes. Just stood at the window, looked at the frost decorating it, and suddenly got this odd appetite for pancakes."

Ginny gave her a funny look. Hermione couldn't blame her for that either.

"But that's not so crazy at all," she spoke at last. "And there's no need for you to stand by the frozen window and dream about pancakes, when you can just go down into the kitchens and have some."

"You're absolutely right!" Hermione exclaimed. "I'll just go and do that. Bye! See you later!"

Once out of the common room, she was wondering through the hallways of Hogwarts. She had no wish to go down to the kitchens and watch Harry and Neville play chess; in fact, she had really had enough of chess for one day. Or at least for now, since there was still that meeting in the library.

Library. That's where she would have gone, but now it reminded her of what she didn't want to think about – mainly chess and Ron.

And as the idea of mindlessly roaming around in school didn't appeal to her either – mostly in fear of running into Snape, Moody, Ron, Malfoy or even McGonagall – she chose the only other option left.

---

Stepping outside she took a deep breath of freezing cold air and felt a shiver run through her body. Luckily, she had brought her wand with her, so that even though her cloak was still in her room up in Gryffindor Tower, a simple warming spell did the trick.

Of course, it didn't keep her from getting wet, she realized, having taken a single step away from the castle, and already managing to slip and end up in a pile of snow.

Thinking how this day couldn't get any worse, and then berating her for mentally speaking those jinxed words, Hermione finally realized the stupidity of lying in the snow, and stood up.

And saw something she dearly did not want to see. Or to be precise – somebody.

She shamelessly stared at him for a while, sure that he was too far away to notice her gaze upon him, until her brain caught up with her actions and she turned her head away.

But she couldn't keep herself from looking for too long.

"No lover's ever faithful
No contract truly signed," she spoke into the freezing air, and blushed at her own thoughts.

Am I really thinking what I think I'm thinking?

"There's nothing certain left to know
And how the cracks begin to show!" she exclaimed, finding her anger once more – at Ron for bringing this about, at herself for letting it happen, at Ginny for banishing her outside, and at Malfoy for deciding to take a stroll.

The whole world seemed to have turned against her suddenly.

"Never make a promise or plan
Take a little love where you can
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never stay too long in your bed
Never lose your heart, use your head
Nobody's on nobody's side," the words stumbled out of her mouth, and this time she didn't even try to keep them back.

"Never take a stranger's advice
Never let a friend fool you twice
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never be the first to believe
Never be the last to deceive
Nobody's on nobody's side.

"Never leave a moment too soon
Never waste a hot afternoon
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never stay a minute too long
Don't forget the best will go wrong
Nobody's on nobody's side."

"I'll show them all," she promised herself, not sure who she was talking about, or what she was going to show them.

"Better learn to go it alone
Recognize you're out on your own
Nobody's on nobody's side."

With a determined look on her face, she turned to go back inside, not let this stupid Chess Tournament scare her away from her beloved library and spend the rest of her time until the meeting doing her homework or reading some book.

She also completely ignored the part of her mind which was telling her that this time she had not been out on her own.

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