Actually, ponytails turn me on.
It's a strange thought to have in your head without any context to explain its origin. Well, I can imagine that the origin was in fact myself but in regards to why that thought came to mind or what it's true purpose was, I didn't have a clue. It was only a simple inquiry at first, but every second I left my mind lingering on the subject I began to revolve around it as if magnetically attracted. No, scratch that. I was locked into orbit, my mind tripping over its own two feet, so to speak. The minutes continued to drag on and even though somewhere a small voice was wondering aloud when it would all end, it was drowned out by the raging torrent that had now built up.
It manifested itself as a massive red tornado, maintaining a passive position feet in front of me. Nervous chills ran up my back, the fear of it swallowing me up beginning to set in my body. From deep within a voice bellowed.
"Do you really like them? Really, really like them?"
It engulfed me and I howled.
I awoke on the floor of my bedroom, face down. I rolled over and opened my eyes. A throbbing sensation pulsated in my forehead, dulling my vision. A minute of rubbing my face and it died down.
"Yeah," I said aloud, staring at my hand. "I do."
---
The walk to school was an awkward one. As I slowly made the climb, a number of worries concerning yesterday were now only beginning to surface. First of all, the fact that Asakura is an enigma to me. My involvement in Haruhi's twisted plans up to this point had been hilt-deep. As such, I hadn't really managed to form anything other than passive, obligatory relationships with the rest of my classmates. That included Asakura, for the most part.
Secondly, the very nature of this rather spontaneous "confession" was confusing and downright strange. Was it a joke? What did she mean by, "I was going to kill you?" Am I the target of a classwide conspiracy?
Then the worst thought of them all: could she possibly be stranger than Haruhi?
I was so entangled in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice that her face was floating a few inches to the left of me. I let out a grunt of surprise and quickly hopped to the side.
"Asakura!" I blurted out.
"Jeez!" she pouted. "I've been saying 'good morning' over and over again for a couple of minutes now. I didn't think you were that rude."
"Sorry, sorry." I made an effort to appear relaxed. "I was just thinking about something."
"Oh? What were you thinking about?"
Well, now was as good a time to ask as any. "What did you mean yesterday when you said, 'I was going to kill you?'"
She stared at me blankly for a few moments before bursting into a fit of giggling. "You're worried about that? You're so funny, Kyon. I'm not going to kill you now. We're going out, after all."
An irrefutable argument. It didn't explain very much, though.
"Oh!" Asakura held up her wrist and glanced at her watch. "I still have to take care of homeroom duties. Sorry, I'm going on ahead again. See you in class!"
She ran ahead, leaving me trodding along at my relaxed pace. I didn't really understand why, but at the time I felt out of place in the world. Or maybe it was the world was out of place in relation to me.
---
As I passed through the school's front gate, Kunikida and Taniguchi were standing there. Were they waiting for me?
"See?" Kunikida said to Taniguchi. "They came seperately. It's just a silly rumor, that's all."
"What are you guys talking about?" I asked.
"Oh, Taniguchi heard a rumor that you and the class rep were going out."
"Ah, yeah." I shrugged. "Word sure gets around quickly."
Oh, their expressions were priceless. Taniguchi almost collapsed and Kunikida stared at me wordlessly. Well, I couldn't really help that they were gunning for her. She was an AA+ after all.
"Really?" Kunikida asked. "This isn't a joke or anything, Kyon?"
I put my hand over my heart. "I'm 100 serious."
"I knew it!" Taniguchi howled. "I saw it with my very own eyes but I couldn't believe it. Kyon and Asakura in the park, drinking juice together? There's no other explanation for it."
I frowned. "Saw it? What were you doing at that park?"
"Ah, well..." I could see him tense up. "I go to parks too. For walks."
"It's odd that you would go to a park that's half an hour further from the one that you live across the street from."
He fell into silence and I sighed. I never really thought it possible that one of my close friends would be a stalker. Taniguchi never seemed the otaku type. Can't judge a book by its cover, I suppose.
---
By lunchtime the two had recovered from the impact enough to carry on normal conversation. It was quite regrettable because their topic of choice seemed to revolve around the idea that my relationship with Asakura was factually impossible. Although I had spent my morning considering the very idea, it's definitely more aggravating to hear come from the mouths of two friends.
"Look Kyon," Taniguchi began. "You've got to look at the facts. She's an elite and you're a below average student caught up in a dead end club with absolute no future. Think about it for a second. Right out of high school it's off to a university for her and where you will be stuck? The escalator system works, but you just don't seem to be the type to put in the effort."
Kunikida nodded. "Your grades aren't particularly good. What rank are you? Bottom third?"
"Even if you did manage to put in the effort your relationship will have to take the backseat while you cram. Then, what happens when you get out of college? She'll likely be a higher-up at a corporation. Officer material right there. You? If you manage to avoid manual labor and land yourself something decent you'll at best be the lowest level office grunt. Looking even further into the future, if you manage to get married you'll live every day letting your masculinity die a little bit every day knowing that you aren't the breadwinner. Is that really what you want, Kyon? Aren't you a man?"
"Seriously Kyon, you should just forget about her and think about someone a little more realistic."
"You're hitting it off with Suzumiya anyway. She already has you on a leash so at least you can enter into the relationship without any manliness to bleed away."
A familiar voice entered the conversation. "Ah, that would certainly be a most satisfactory turn of events."
I turned to face the speaker. "Koizumi, what are you doing here?"
The ever-smiling face of the SOS Brigade's resident esper aroused a stranger feeling in me than usual. It wasn't just uneasiness. There was more weight to his presence today.
"Sorry to interrupt your conversation," he said, "but there are grave matters which we must discuss."