Chapter 2

Her eyes starting to get too heavy to lift, Sonea lay in bed without a sound, listening to the distant swish of leaves in the wind. It was a calm, silent night in Imardin. Her gaze lingered on the soft pool of moonlight at the foot of her bed, coming through her window. There was a full moon tonight…the eye is open, she thought, then laughed quietly at herself for remembering the old superstition Cery had told her.

She wondered what Cery was doing in the slums for a while, before her thoughts slid hastily to Akkarin. She shook her head fast, hoping to clear her mind, but she knew she couldn't. Not again, she thought, frustrated. Why did he have to enter her thoughts at this time? She guessed this was when most of her deep feelings arose before she went to sleep. Deep feelings? She questioned herself. Surely this interest I've had in Akkarin is just a foolish twinge of awe or even intimidation.

He had seemed so tired at dinner, as if he was experiencing some sort of emotional battle inside. Sonea wished there was something she could do to ease his hurt, whatever it was. She slapped a hand to her forehead. There I go again, she thought angrily. Why am I even caring about his feelings? He took me hostage, parted me from Rothen, and made me feel so threatened that I didn't even dare to make friends.

Still….he seemed to be a good person, if not sarcastic and imposing. But Sonea knew the only thing which made him intimidating to her was because he was so mysterious. Yet at the same time, obviously intelligent and powerful. But there was always a mystery, always an unknown when it came to him. And this was so very, very oddly attractive in her eyes.

Finally dragging her mind away from Akkarin, and scolding herself once more for being so distracted in the first place, she mustered the energy to lift her book off her stomach and put it clumsily on her table, then pulled the cover closer to her chest and closed her eyes. An owl hooted in the distance.

She was almost slipping out of consciousness when she sensed, rather than heard, another presence in her room.

Heartbeat quickening, she peered into the darkness through her eyelashes, trying to not make a sudden move. A tall, dark cloaked figure, was holding a weak globelight and moving from the door towards her bed. She felt panic rising within her, and her head spinned. Calm down and think, she told herself. This was obviously a magician, so it would be unwise to throw a shield around herself, for they would know she was awake. But what else am I going to do? If I stay here any longer it will reach me…

But this was no time for questions. As the cloaked figure reached the foot of her bed and extended a pale hand, Sonea drew in a large amount of power and sent it with maximum force in a heatstrike. But her strike lingered slowly in front of the figure before it disappeared harmlessly.

The cloaked figure merely let out a soft chuckle and took another step towards her. And Sonea froze in shock as she recognized the voice.

Akkarin didn't think he would ever be able to forget Sonea's expression when she had recognized him. It had suddenly made him extremely aware of what he was about to do. But he couldn't stop himself. The feelings inside him which kept crying out how wrong this was simply watched, as the emotions in charge made him extend a hand and gently yet firmly stroke Sonea's face, resting when it came upon her chin, lifting it up and forcing her to look at him.

'Ak- High Lord,' Sonea stuttered, 'wh-…' But she suddenly stopped as Akkarin spoke.

'I wouldn't advise you to scream, since no one will hear you here, or use magic, because I am more powerful than you.' He spoke softly, yet with a hint of amusement. Sonea made a few more feeble attempts at sending him hidden strikes, but Akkarin created an invisible shield close to his skin, and resumed his study of her. Her dark eyes were wide with shock, and there was a vague red flush on her cheeks. He slid his eyes from her face down to her neck and shoulders, his gaze so focused that he almost felt like it would scorch her skin...

She is so lovely, so strong…so forbidden to me. He thought to himself, feeling a familiar surge of anger. Enough was enough….only here and now mattered. And now, she was very much his.

He softly touched her leg and pulled up her gown slowly. She was still gazing at him wide-eyed, shocked. Yet she didn't drop her gaze from his. Sonea didn't break down or sob as Akkarin tugged at her gown, or when he took her arm and pulled her under him. But she did look away, when comprehension of being partially naked and defenseless dawned on her.

Stop! Don't do this! Something seemed to be screaming inside him. But he knew he couldn't. He couldn't stop now. She was trying to get out from under him, struggling with the force which kept her down. Akkarin grabbed her chin, stopping her movement. He couldn't hold himself any longer; in one movement, he forced his lips on hers.

Sonea couldn't believe what was happening. It was so terrible yet so wonderful at the same time. This is rape! Said a voice in her head. But was it? How could it be, when she didn't want him to stop? She froze for one second, hardly believing what she had kept from herself. But it was true.

Sonea stopped struggling. She knew she should let him know how much she wanted him, but…she just…couldn't. The situation was so sudden, so bizarre that her mind couldn't make a proper decision. It was too much but too little as well.

Suddenly she was drawn out of her thoughts with a yelp as she felt Akkarin's hands touch her breasts softly. He crushed her lips with his to muffle the sound, his hands working lower down her body slowly but firmly, leaving red marks where he pressed too hard on her skin.

Lost in these new sensations, Sonea shakily tried to respond to his kiss, tasting wine on his lips. I have to tell him my feelings now, or respond, she thought, so he wouldn't carry on forcefully.

But as soon as Sonea's small palms made contact with his skin, he jumped back and in one swift movement, pinned her arms above her head.

'Don't fight me,' he hissed at her angrily.

'But I –, started Sonea, completely confused, but before she could explain, he covered her mouth with his hand and leaned close to her ear.

"The more you attempt to hurt me," he said, tenderly putting a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "the less enjoyable this will be for you," he whispered, harshly pulling the same strand of hair in extreme contrast to the previous gentle gesture. She flinched away. "But struggle Sonea, by all means. I find it so much more... impressive."

He pulled his hand away from her mouth and Sonea drew in a shuddering breath, unable to move as his hands worked their way up her legs. She shivered as he exposed more of her skin, even though her room was quite warm. Breathe. Breathe. Don't forget to breathe, Sonea reminded herself as she felt Akkarin's hands dance over her body- those skilled and strong yet elegant hands which she had long stared at, transfixed. His hands were cold now, making her shiver upon contact with her flushed skin.

Sonea was brought out of her thoughts with a gasp as she felt Akkarin slide the rest of her robe off her and throw it in a corner. He silenced her gasp with another devouring kiss, which seemed to last forever but ended too soon. In the split second when they both pulled away and caught their breath, Sonea's wary glance met his hard dark eyes which seemed to be filled with ... guilt? She was sure she had imagined it the next moment, as the hungry glint in his eye returned with such intensity that she pulled away from him with a tiny whimper, only to feel ashamed at how pathetic she sounded. Drawing some of her power, she sent it at him in a strong forcestrike.

For a moment Sonea thought it hadn't worked. Then Akkarin suddenly doubled up and let out a gasp. His shield must have wavered dangerously, but he seemed fine the next moment. He glanced up at her and his mouth curled at the side into a little half-smile, that sly, soft smile which had always made Sonea's legs feel weak enough with fear to give beneath her.

She felt so distracted by this that it took a while for her to realize that he was gradually moving upwards until Sonea was held down by the weight of his body and his face was level with her's. His smile widened, as if immensely pleased that she had just sent enough force at him to fling him across the room.

Gently he raised a finger and traced her lips, her cheek, her brow. "Such power you have, Sonea. It's a waste to direct it at hurting me," Akkarin said, letting out a low chuckle and running his hands down her back in long, slow strokes. Sonea let out an involuntary sigh and closed her eyes. She felt his breath at her neck, followed by soft kisses which went down to her shoulders. She opened her eyes with a shiver. The full moon had obviously been obscured by clouds, since the light in the room was extremely faint; a slight glow coming from the stars alone. She'd have thought it was all a dream if it weren't for the feeling of Akkarin's weight on her and the brush of his long dark hair on her skin.

He still had his black robes on, he was so composed, still so intimidating. She felt a little thrill of almost pleasurable fear run down her back at the sight, but it also made her suddenly very aware of who he was, the difference in their status, and what she was allowing him to do. Sensing her stiffen abruptly, Akkarin stopped to look at her. "Come now, I told you I won't hurt you," he said, standing up to undo the sash of his robes. The dark, heavy material fell to the floor silently as he moved into shadow, then back onto the bed. Sonea- all doubts nearly forgotten- jumped a little at the contact of his skin on her's, letting out a deep sigh of what she knew, inwardly, could only be contentment.

He gripped her waist with his hands, following the curves of her small body down to her hips. Sonea felt like her voice and mind had completely abandoned her and she couldn't get either to co-operate. All she was able to do was what she felt was right; so she lifted her arms to rest her hands on his back. She felt him tense a little at her touch, as if he was determined not to feel it. She couldn't help but softly trace the muscles of his back and shoulders, which felt like they were strained and tired. Her hands slid down his shoulders to his arms, and Sonea's eyes widened a little as she saw his inner forearm, which was crisscrossed with thin scars. She lifted a finger to touch, but thought better of it. Instead, she slid her hand down to his palm. She felt his small, almost inaudible intake of breath when she slowly, almost hesitantly and cautiously, linked her fingers with his.

For a moment Akkarin didn't even dare to breathe, fearing that it would cause him to wake up and find his hand was merely curled a corner of his pillow. But eventually, he took a deep breath. Her hand was still clasped in his. He let out his breath steadily, and it was still there, small, warm and holding his. Such a small gesture, but it suddenly changed so much in him.

What am I doing? I cannot do this. Arranging his face in a mask of calmness was more harder than it ever was; the amount of contradictory feelings he was experiencing astounded him. But eventually he managed it, and reluctantly yet firmly distangled his fingers from hers. He pushed himself to his feet and in one movement, slipped into his robes. When he finished tying the black sash, he had already made up his mind. This was more than physical attraction, and he couldn't risk such a thing.

And why hadn't she struggled? Called for help? It wasn't like her to give up easily. Unless... the desire was mutual? Hopes which he had been trying to quench for a long time threatened to surface again.

Sonea seemed to waver confusedly, and then managed to find her voice.

"A-Akkarin, I- "

He took a deep breath. Her safety and place in the Guild are more important than either of our feelings. So he turned to her, eyes hard as ice. "I don't recall allowing you to adress me by my name," he said sharply, hating himself. But the feeling didn't invoke any reactions anymore. What did it matter if he burdened himself with even more regret?

Ah, but he knew it did matter when he saw the hurt and confusion in Sonea's eyes. Then she set her jaw tightly, face stiff and unexpressive, though he saw that her eyes glistened with moisture when they caught the moonlight. So very much like him, she was.

He turned away and willed a globelight into existence, wordlessly striding towards the door. For a moment he paused, then glanced at her, his expression still managing to remain unreadable. "Speak of this to anyone, and you know what is at stake." he said softly, stepping out.

Sonea sat up, staring unblinkingly at the empty doorway and listening to his footfalls slowly fade away. Each felt like huge blows on her chest instead of faint taps. She couldn't understand what had happened. It didn't quite soak in. Feeling numb with disbelief, shock and what felt like hurt, she lay back into the crumpled sheets. Tears threatened to fall, and for once she neither felt nor stopped them.