Chapter 17
Obi-Wan glanced over at Mace as they watched Anakin leave.
"I'm worried about him."
Mace Windu nodded. He too stared off after Anakin.
"He doesn't wish to be touched. If he could, I believe Anakin would dis-attach from himself."
Obi-Wan took one last at the retreating figure of his former padawan before turning to face his colleague.
Windu clarified, "He hates himself, Obi-Wan. He did not even wish to touch is own son because he believes that Luke is better off without him." He paused. "He believes the galaxy is better off without him."
Luke and Dooku had come up to them while Windu had been talking. The look on Luke's face was one of absolute horror.
"With all do respect, Master," Luke began. "That's absurd."
"Yes," Dooku agreed. The usual jokester was suddenly serious. "But can you blame him? If you were my son, I'd stay away from you…" Dooku shrugged. "Perhaps I should."
Luke shook his head and Windu gave Dooku a stern look.
"That won't help the situation," Windu told him.
Obi-Wan jumped in. "You seem to cooping with your past better then he is, Dooku."
Dooku nodded his agreement. "I've been dead longer. I've had my time to come to terms with what I've done.
He smiled and patted Luke on the shoulders. "Just give the guy sometime."
That was exactly what Anakin wanted. Time… Time alone.
Which is where I should have stayed. I should have stayed on Mustafar.
But he hadn't, and the reason for that was simple. He hadn't had the time to think things through, to search his feelings. He had simply done what had needed to be done. He hadn't even thought about it. It was mere instinct, but It was the instinct of the LIGHT side.
That was the one thing that gave him comfort. It was the one thing he could stand about himself; it let him feel that somehow… some way, he would earn his place in the galaxy. It had helped him hug Luke… His own son.
"Anakin, Padme is alive."
He should have known. He had felt something when they had first landed and now he knew what it was. It was her. He'd felt her presence instantly. It was such acalm, loving presence that he should have recognized. But he hadn't, he'd shut that feeling off because he hadn't been able to feel her… Until now.
He could still feel her. And he suddenly realized that without knowing it, he was making his way closer to her.
He froze at that thought. He was going to her? Why did he think he was doing? But he wasn't thinking. He was just acting.
Anakin looked up and looked at the door down the hall. She was behind that door, he knew. His Padme, the women he'd loved… The woman he'd killed was behind that door.
His mind was telling him to run away. His heart was telling him to open the door, but either way, his legs were not cooperating. He stood still and watched the door for a moment.
His heart felt as if it was on a rollercoaster. Part of him begged that she would open the door and make the decision for him and yet that was exactly what he was afraid of.
All those years, being so lost… He'd never been able to find himself. He was surrounded by darkness, needing an angel. HIS angel.
Then as Anakin watched, the door opened.