A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. Sorry for the late update, I've been terribly busy about the first days of college. Hehe…

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Am I seeing things? Am I really delirious? Is my brain damaged? Am I psychologically impaired? Is my mind playing tricks on me?

Or did I really see Rei?

But he's dead. Rei is gone. The love of my life….the only guy I ever loved is now six feet below the surface of this world.

He could not have been sitting at the ice cream parlor. It was impossible.

Was I truly delirious then? Ran said I was thinking of him too much so I imagined he was there. That must be it. I just thought he was there. It was all in my imagination. It was all in my head. He was never there. Rei was never there at that time, he would not be there now, and he will never be there in the future.

The thought made brought tears into my eyes. I choked; my throat felt like something was blocking it painfully. My breathing came in ragged gulps. My chest felt like it would burst. "Oh, Rei…" I whispered, and then the tears flowed soaking the flowers patterned on my pillow.

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I woke up, feeling uneasy.

I glanced at my bed table. It was midnight.

That's strange, I never woke up at this hour before, I thought, something must have woken me up. I looked around; everything was in its place. Still, I felt uneasy. The chilly wind caressed my hair. But something must have woken me up. I flipped the bedcovers and searched the bed with the aid of my lamplight casting eerie shadows on the wall; nope, nothing there. I went down on my knees and stole a look under the bed; nothing there either. I sat there, in the middle of the room, thinking: what am I looking for anyway; the bogeyman? Picking up the flashlight in another closet, I lightly strode across the room and opened the bedroom door as quiet as I could. It made a squeak that seemed loud to me but thankfully, no one heard. I peered into the gloom then shone my flashlight. Nothing was out of place. I closed the door, and again it made that squeak. I looked around and saw the windows. I reached out to open them, and then I stopped. The windows were closed. A chill crept down my spine. I looked up, the ceiling fan wasn't moving. I didn't turn it on that night. The door was closed. The hair at the back of my neck stood on its end with my next thought.

Where did the wind come from?

I felt scared. What's going on? I'm terrified of ghosts……

Ghost. I remembered: this was the time when Yuuya called me that night. "Oh, God." I swallowed. I finally understood why I was uneasy. It was the feeling that I was being watched. There were goose bumps on my arms and legs. Is there a ghost in here? Barely sustaining my terror, I called out to the room, "Rei?"

Nothing happened.

Of course nothing happened. He's not here, isn't he? He's dead…I could feel the cold air down my feet. The temperature around below my knees somehow felt different from the rest of my body.

I still felt like I was being watched.

I took a deep breath and opened the windows. I peeked outside and saw no one there. The street was quiet and there was not a sign of wind. The cold air now enveloping my upper body was different from the cold air down my feet. I could feel the terror in my heart beating against my ribs. My breathing became ragged. It really felt like Rei was here.

All of a sudden, I felt the wind fluttering my bluish black hair. I shivered involuntarily. Looking outside, I saw that the leaves of the trees weren't moving, but still the wind was playing with my hair. My heart stood still.

I was moments away from panicking. I spun around and stared at the room. No one was there save for me. I began to whimper, "Please….leave me alone… whoever you are…," I ran to the nearest corner of the room, sat down, and hugged my knees, staring at the floor. Afraid that is I looked up, I would see something I'd rather not see. Maybe the very thing I wanted most.

I was shaking, and my heart felt like beating out of my chest. Tears threatened to flow in my eyes, and my whimper turned into hysterical cries as I felt the coldness nearing me, "Please, I'm begging you. Oh, god, please leave me alone…whoever you are…someone…someone, please help me…I'm so scared…I can't do this….there's no one here…no one here…no ghosts….no specters…no phantoms…no ghouls…no spirits…no souls…no Rei… please, whoever you are, I'm begging you to go away!"

As soon as I uttered the last sentence, the coldness vanished. I could feel the warmth returning to my surroundings. The temperature returned to normal, but I didn't. I knew I wasn't being watched anymore, and that brought waves of relief, and tears. Still, I was terrified out of my wits. Still, my heart beat like I was out of breath. Still, I would not move. Still, I wouldn't leave the safety of my corner, for reasons I don't, and don't care, to understand.

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I woke up to the morning, still in the corner, knowing that I had cried myself to sleep, knowing that I had a dream and it was a blur.

I woke up and felt unbearably sad. Perhaps because of the dream, or perhaps what happened that night. I felt safe, maybe because it was daytime. Anyway, it crossed my mind that a ghost could have been there that night…and it could have been Rei.

And I wanted him to go away.

"Rei…" I said to the room, "I didn't mean to…I didn't mean to do that…" I said it even though I knew instinctively that he, or whoever, or whatever it was that was in there last night wasn't there anymore.

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I read the newspaper and saw several articles about Rei.

There several news pieces. One was about the accident, one was his profile as the most popular guy in Shibuya, and one was about the accounts of the eyewitnesses. There were literary and feature articles, as well. Most were about how they missed Rei and what they thought of him. Some were about their best memories of Rei. There were a lot of poems, and there was his life story.

After I read through all of it, my face was wet with tears.

It's my fault, isn't it, I thought, it's my fault that Rei is dead. If I hadn't followed his suggestion to go home immediately; if I had argued with Ran and Miyu instead of turning my back on them; if I hadn't agreed that he would escort me home, Rei would still be alive. It's my fault that he's gone. It's my fault, all mine.

I deserve to die.

I killed Rei. I let him die. I should die as well.

My cellphone rang. I picked it up, "Hello?"

"Hey, Aya," Ran's cheerful voice was on the line, "How do you like to go to the theater to day?"

She was just trying to cheer me up, I thought, "I'd rather not."

"Then would you help me with my homework?" Ran persisted

I sighed, "I'm sorry, Ran, but I feel like staying home today."

Ran paused for a moment, "Then we'll go to your place!"

The thought of Ran, Miyu, Yuuya, Yamato, and Tatsukichi almost shook my resolve, "I don't know… I want to be alone right now. I…" I paused, and then lied, "I have homework to do and I need to concentrate."

"Alright," she said finally, "Just call if you want company. Will you be okay?"

"Yes, I'll be fine," I replied, and then I said, "Thanks for everything you guys."

"That's what friends are for, right? See you tomorrow then!" Ran said before hanging up.

I almost didn't want to die. What would happen to them if they lost two of their friends in one month?

But it's my fault that this whole thing happened. It will forever haunt my conscience. I will not be at peace unless I do this. I have to kill myself.

But how will I kill myself? I don't have a gun, besides, that's messy anyway. I could stab myself with a knife. I suddenly thought of Juliet from the play, Romeo and Juliet. I'm not that brave, I thought, I could not bring myself to stab my body, it's too painful. Alright, I could slash my wrists. Too long, I thought, but I have all the time in the world, okay, maybe a day. For some reason, I want it to be quick. A fire is too long, either. There's no pool of water to drown into. I contemplated jumping from the roof. It was a two-storey house. Am I going to be killed by jumping to my death? Probably. But there's no one in the house except for me, I'm afraid that I would only break my leg, or something and lie there in agony until someone finds me. No, I have to poison myself. I'll pour pesticide in my drink and pretend that it's a normal drink.

I went to a room and picked up the pesticide. I placed it down the kitchen table, picked up a glass, and grabbed a pitcher of water. I placed the two things on the kitchen table as well and sat down. I know drinking pesticide is fatal. Will I die instantly, or will I experience a series of convulsions first? I had no idea. I did not want to find out. I have to do this now.

Slowly, I picked up the pitcher and filled the glass half-full with water. I placed the pitcher down. Taking a deep breath, I slowly unscrewed the cap of the pesticide and filled the glass with the fluid. The liquid remained as clear as the glass.

The doorbell rang.

I took no notice. I could not stop now. I was afraid that if I stopped, I would not be able to resume.

The doorbell continued to ring.

I had finished filling the glass with pesticide. I returned the cap and tightened it.

The doorbell kept ringing.

Shaking, I reached for the glass.

The doorbell was still ringing.

I closed my eyes and prayed it would work.

The doorbell continued to ring.

Goodbye guys, I thought as the glass neared my hesitant lips, Rei…

I heard the door slam open.

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A/N: Cliffhanger, yeah I know. I love suspense…hehe. Do understand that Aya here is acting a bit psychologically unstable. After all, it's the effects of a loved one's bereavement. Please review!