Chapter Thirty-Nine

Choices

I own nothing except Melissa, Kate, or any other OC's that I mention.

Happy birthday, Myri78!

J.B. Duenweg -- I did it! XD

By the way, for those of you that have seen At Worlds End (which is probably a very good portion of you), you know how dark Will can get. I decided to play with that a little...

It was bad enough for Kate to live with the fact that she cheated on Will. It was a whole other thing when she had to live with Will, now that she cheated on him. It was just weird to have him in the house now. It was as if he didn't belong here, like he was a lost ghost from the past. He sort of looked like one, anyways. His brown eyes that were once very alive were now blank. A smile didn't seem possible to form on his lips for his life.

And it was all because of Kate. Yes, she took the blame, and yes, she'd do anything to see him smile or look a little softer. But, sadly, no, she couldn't redo what she had done. The more she accepted that, though, the deeper her guilt became.

"Welcome home, you two!" Kate's mom had said when the two of them came home, walking up the stairs. "How did the weekend go?"

"Oh, just swell," she said sarcastically, huffing past both parents.

Melissa couldn't seem to think of anything else but Jack. Every time that his tanned face popped into her head, she wanted to scream at him, but she knew that would get them nowhere. She was an adult by now, she was expected to behave like one.

She sat on her bed, with her bedroom door locked. Melissa wanted to talk to no one. She had everything that she needed in her room: a package of Oreos, her hug pillow, and A Walk To Remember.

Melissa watched the whole movie sitting at the foot of her bed, occasionally nibbling at an Oreo, but mainly being sucked into the movie through glassy eyes.

She counted: she cried two times through the whole thing.

After the movie ended, which was around 8:00, she turned on the radio. "Never Again" by Kelly Clarkson came on.

Does it hurt to know that I'll never be there

Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere

It was you, who chose to end it like you did

I was the last to know

You knew exactly what you would do

And don't say, you simply lost your way

She may believe you but I never will

Never again

Truer lyrics were never spoken.

The hours had passed. Why did Melissa felt like she wanted Jack back? She missed him so much...

No! she chided herself. You do not miss him! He cheated you and nearly slept with your friend. Ex-best friend.

It was wrong to miss him after what he had done. He was nothing but a dog for it.

Then why, if she missed him, after all he did, did she feel like she loved him?

Melissa kept her phone on, just in case Kate felt like apologizing. Unlikely, though.

The more Jack thought about, he knew the difference between right and wrong.

Wrong: Trying to bed your love's best friend.

Right: Not trying to bed your love's best friend, but your love.

Wrong: Not apologizing for doing said attempted bedding of the friend.

Right: Apologizing and begging for forgiveness of said attempted bedding.

Jack took out his compass again. He slowly opened it and saw that it pointed diagonally behind him. He stood up and frowned at it, then followed it. He tapped it, just to make sure that indeed this is what he wanted.

When he stopped, he was in front of an empty door. He could hear music playing from inside. Jack raised his hand to knock, then put it back down.

"Eh...g'night, love!" Jack said instead.

There was silence, until he heard a faint "goodnight."

Wrong: No one could stay mad at Captain Jack Sparrow.

Right: No one could stay mad at Captain Jack Sparrow...for long.

Night had crept upon Will Turner slowly. Ever since he and Kate had gotten home at around 5:00, he had spent the rest of the evening in his room, with the exception of dinner. He had said hardly a thing.

He didn't love Kate anymore. How could someone love a girl like that after betraying them like that? What made him lose two girls to Jack?

Now it was 11:00 at night. Everyone was asleep. Will got up and opened his backpack and dug out the Advil bottle. He quietly opened his door and walked softly down the hallway and into the kitchen.

He filled a glass with water, sat down at the kitchen table, and unscrewed the top of the Advil container. There was a lot of those pills. He'd need a bigger glass of water.

"I see the name of the song is 'You're Beautiful,' Will said.

"Yeah," Kate said.

"A very fitting name, don't you agree?" he asked. "I'm sharing a dance with the most beautiful girl in the world. I would expect nothing less."

Kate wasn't sure how long the two of them had spent kissing. It didn't matter...she was with Will, in his arms...

Those were the days when things weren't hard, when their love was innocent, not filled with deceit and betrayal. Kate would do anything to have that back. That was only two weeks ago. Why did it seem so much longer?

She was the first to admit that she made a mistake by kissing Jack. Alright, it wasn't just a mistake, and she didn't just kiss Jack. It was a life screwer-upper...she had almost slept with the man, for God's sake!

Kate refused to let herself think about it anymore. What was done was done – she really couldn't do anything about it. If Will wanted to take her back, then so be it. But for now it seems like she'd be trying to rebuild her life by herself, which she didn't want to do. She wanted Will there with her. She did love him, she really did, no matter what people thought.

She got out of bed and walked to the sliding glass door. She'd go outside for just a few minutes and look up at the moon and stars, just to try and calm herself down.

Kate saw a figure hunched over at the kitchen table. Slowly, she walked into the kitchen. The closer she got, she saw that the figure looked to be Will.

"Will?" she said softly.

In front of him was an open Advil bottle and a glass of water. There were about six pills in his hand, and he looked about ready to take them.

"What are you doing?" she said, taking a seat next to him.

"You can make your decisions alone, why can't I?"

Kate was shocked. Was Will thinking of killing himself?

"Um...Kate, must I really take all of these?" Will had asked, looking at the open Advil bottle.

"Not unless you want to die," Kate said.

"Will...what?"

"It seems that you can do whatever you please. Why can't I? Do things only work when they apply to you? You can go kiss any man that you want?"

His words stung her again. She collected the pills from his hand and took the Advil bottle away from him. She poured the pills back into the bottle, then closed it again and set it on the side.

"Will, I'm so sorry," she said, looking him straight in the eye. "Please forgive me."

"All your life you've always gotten what you want. Everything was always at your fingertips. Perhaps my forgiveness isn't as easy to get."

"I...I understand that, Will...but killing yourself? Isn't that a bit–"

"Rash?"

Kate bit her lip and looked at the Advil bottle. She found it harder to look at him. They were drifting away, she could feel it.

"You had a choice to do what you did, Kate," he said. "I used to trust you with your choices. But I saw what you did when you made them alone."

She met his eyes, slowly, as hard as it was.

"If you can't make your choices alone...how can I trust you?"

She paused. "You can't."

The two former lovers sat in silence. Kate could see Will's eyes clearly, as well as his face. It was illuminated by the moonlight. His cheekbones and jaw were more defined, and his eyes seemed more intense.

"What can I do to get your forgiveness, then?" she asked. "I know that it was wrong of me to kiss him. I can't stop thinking about the hurt in your eyes..."

She put a hand on his, but he instantly drew his away.

"I own up to my mistakes, Will, and I understand that you're not going to be happy with me for a while. Maybe never again. And I will wait until I can gain your forgiveness. I'll wait my whole life if I have to. And if you never want to talk to me again, I accept that. If you want to go be with other girls, go do that. You gave me my freedom...here's your's."

Tears started welling up in her eyes. This was goodbye for the two of them. Every kiss the two of them shared, every laugh, every smile, every tear...it was over.

"I still love you," she whispered, resting her hand lightly on his cheek. "I always will."

Will's eyes were locked on her's. He didn't draw her hand away from his cheek. Instead, he just left it there.

"Do you still love Jack?" he asked bitterly.

"I never loved him. I lusted him. I admit to that."

They exchanged silences for several moments.

"I want to visit a doctor," Will said.

"A...A doctor?" Kate asked.

"Yes, a therapist. Perhaps they could help us. It's the only way that I can forgive you."

A rush of happiness surged through Kate. Maybe they weren't over.

"I'm not forgiving you yet," he said. "I want us to see if maybe they could help us."

Kate nodded. "I-I'll arrange something. I swear. You can gain my trust, Will."

Melissa's Blog Entry

Jack cheated on me. I'll let you know when I can get over that.

Why do I feel like I love him?

I should never have bought something that belonged to Jack. Couldn't I have bought something that belonged to say, I don't know...Beckett? He wouldn't care if I'm flat-chested or I'm a bad cook, and he most certainly wouldn't have cheated on me with Kate.

I'm still waiting for her to call, by the way. I want an apology!

Love,

Melissa Rose

Kate's Blog Entry

Oh. My. God.

We might get back together. Might. Will said that the only way he could forgive me is that we go to therapy. I don't want to go to therapy!! But I want to get Will back more than not going to therapy...Really, what's more embarrassing than confessing your issues/relationship issues in front of a shrink? I suppose in this case it's a "couple's counselor."

This had better work. I want Will back so bad. I hope we get back together soon. I'm going to prove to him that I can earn his forgiveness.

To-Do List

Call Melissa and beg for forgiveness!

Find a couple's therapy area...and fast!!

XOXO,

Kate