I watched him closely, as his emotions overtook him, as images he longed to keep secret flashed before me, as he struggled to push me out, as he panicked and could do no more than send another stinging hex my way. I sighed and shook my head as he fell once more to the floor of the dusty room Lupin ordered us to practice in.

"On your knees again, Potter? As flattering as it is, there is no real need to kneel before more." I smirked as he rose to his feet.

"Shut the hell up, Snape. If you could actually explain what I'm trying to be doing then maybe this would be going somewhere." He glared at me as he dusted his pants off. "How am I supposed to shut off my mind? My thoughts keep jumping to other things, and with you plucking memories from my head it makes it even harder!"

"Not once did I say this would be easy. Now clear your emotions out, Potter, Legilimens." With a flourish of my wand I watched as Potter fell to his knees again. Images flashed through my head in rapid succession. Potter soaring through a Quidditch pitch, the snitch just inches in front of him. Potter watching as I emptied his cauldron and gave him detention in addition to him not receiving marks for his potion. Potter screaming silently under his father's invisibility cloak as Albus' body hits the edge of the Astronomy Tower before tumbling out of sight.

I lifted the spell immediately and fell to my own knees. My hands started shaking and I felt my stomach dip then push its contents up my throat and out of my mouth. The image of Albus' body burned behind my eyes. My stomach pushed again, and I dry heaved with a violent force. A hand touched my back so softly I wasn't quite sure it was there.

"Snape, are you…I'm sorry…I wasn't trying to make you…" Potter stammered as he helped me sit back onto the cold floor.

I waved my hand at him, "I'm fine, Potter." I was able to get the words out, but my voice was strained and my body shook with the effort.

"No, you're not. Come on, I'll help you to the couch or something." He grabbed my arms and lifted me up forcefully. The brat had gained some muscles over his stay with the Order, I thought as he helped me across the room to a dusty couch.

"Now, lie there for a few moments. I'll get you some water." Potter mumbled as he turned and left the room.

I shivered and turned on my side, the image of Albus' body burned fresh again. Damned Potter, of all the blasted things his mind had to push to the surface. If the Dark Lord knew how much the Order and Potter was dwelling on this he'd use it to his advantage quicker than we could turn around. Damn it Albus, we all needed you. I closed my eyes when I heard Potter's voice.

"It's not healthy to live that much in your head, Snape. Did you know you get a distant glaze over your eyes whenever you're lost in thought?" he sounded almost concerned.

"What I do should be of no concern to you." I snapped irritably and sat up too quickly. The room swam in six directions before my eyes and I instantly lied back down.

"Well, considering you're back at the Order it is. What good are you to us if you're constantly in your own head?" his voice was showing anger again.

"Better than wearing my emotions proudly for all to see and getting myself or others killed, isn't it?" I said coldly and calmly.

"Damn it, Snape, can't you just let people care about you for once in your damned miserable life? Stop isolating yourself from everyone! You knew Albus better than anyone apparently, he trusted you with his damned life. You could be putting that knowledge to good use. I'm sure he's left you ways of finding the horcruxes, but instead you sit here becoming more bitter by the day." His face was inches from mine, his tone low and dangerous.

"The only thing Albus left to me was the memory of him falling over that Tower, Potter. He trusted me with killing him, not with his life. There is a huge distinction between the two. If you think he's left some brilliant plan for me to tell you of, you're sorely mistaken." I bit the words out from gritted teeth, my glare having no affect on him.

"There has to be something more, Snape. If there wasn't any more of a service you could be doing to the Order, why would he have left evidence to clear your name? If the rest of the plan was just to leave you with Voldemort, why would he have made sure you'd be safe? No, there has to be a reason you're back here. I refuse to believe otherwise." His face was still inches from my own, but his tone had softened as had his gaze.

I swallowed hard and tried to ignore the warmth coming from him. When had he become something to be reckoned with, something I considered a companion instead of a nuisance? When had I started arguing with the likes of one Harry James Potter? I glared at him again and pushed him back, my anger at my own feelings fueling the fire.

"No, Potter, there doesn't have to be a grand scheme to things. He left the evidence to clear my name in case I had been caught and had wanted my life spared. I had expected you to find me and kill me, not bring me back here and ask me questions. I had expected once you had arrived I would be done. It was not part of my plan to be, as you so delicately put it, sitting here getting more bitter by the day. I was quite content with the notion of my role in this being over. You, on the other hand, did not seem to be able to give me that. I wonder, Potter, how do you plan on killing him if you couldn't kill me?"

"Because, you greasy overgrown bat, you aren't the scum that Voldemort is. And for Merlin's sake, stop wincing at his name!" He yelled and was back in my face, this time closer than before. His voice dropped to a harsh whisper, "Believe me, Snape, I'll have no problem killing Voldemort. Stop flinching, Snape, it's a name, nothing more."

"No, Potter, it's not just a name. My everlasting reminder of the Dark Lord burns whenever his name is said. It's not out of fear that I flinch." My voice was low and even, my gaze never leaving his.

His eyes widened, "I didn't know. I'm- "

"Sorry, I know." I interrupted.

His face remained so close, his breath feathering over my face. His eyes remained locked on mine and his hand came to rest on my left forearm. My eyes widened in shock and disbelief as Harry bloody Potter's lips crashed onto mine. My brain gave out on me and left me dumbstruck. My body reacted very much in the same way, and so I lied there and make a squeaking noise of surprise. Potter took advantage of this and probed his tongue into my mouth and instantly my body came back to life.

My hands grabbed his shoulders and he tumbled onto me, a hard weight pinning me onto the ratty couch. My mouth moved against his and my tongue and his met in a duel. His hands roamed my clothed chest and he clenched fistfuls of fabric in his hands as I bit his lower lip.

He pulled back, panting hard, and grinned at me, "If Sirius could see this…"

"What an odd fetish, Potter," I managed to gasp out, "Having your godfather watch."

He smirked, "I don't think he'd watch for too long before attempting to throttle one of us."

His lips came back against mine, and my brain shut down once again. My hands moved along his back and under his shirt. Albus, if you can see this, it wasn't my idea.