Fisherman's Wharf
September 28, 2013; 4: 19 PM
LUCAS' POV
"You kissed Peyton," she said to me.
Oh my God! Now I got it! Brooke and Penelope are the same! Since Brooke had amnesia, she didn't remember her first name so she used the name Penelope! And now with what she said, I'm sure another memory flashed in her mind and it's a bad memory. This is surely trouble! And now I'm at this place again, chasing the person that I love…again! This is so déjà vu! And now she's running away! Not again!
"BROOKE! BROOKE! COME BACK!" I shouted at her. But still, she kept on running! The only thing that she does best, running away from her problems.
Oh shoot! I gotta go after her!
BROOKE'S POV
I didn't know what to do next so I just ran away from him, with tears in my eyes, with all these memories constantly flashing through my mind.
"You been talking to Peyton much?"
"Little bit. I wish I was in her life more, you know."
"Guess I know what kind of loss you'll be writing for your essay."
"I lost myself this year Brooke. And what I did, I lost the people I truly care about. Oh, by they way, when we get to New York, I hope you'll understand if we spend most of our time with Haley. It's just important that I focus on her today. You know?"
"Of course. Everything else can wait."
"You did this for me?"
"I wasn't ready to lose you yet. So, you, gonna stay here or what?"
"Yeah, of course! Oh…I wasn't ready to be lost. Thank you."
"Tell me that was a goodbye kiss."
"I wanna be with you Brooke."
"What?"
"I'm sorry. I know we're friends…it's just how I feel."
"What about Peyton's stuff?"
"I keep that as a reminder of how badly I screwed things up with you. To remind myself, if I ever get a second chance, I'd never let you go again."
"I'm the guy for you. I know we're just part- time, that's cool. You know, do whatever, have your fun. But one of these nights, you're gonna realize it. I'm the guy for you, Brooke Davis. You'll see."
"I wanted you to fight for me."
"How was I supposed to know that?"
"You just are."
"This is my world Brooke. Or at least it used to be."
"I have been here before, you know?"
"I know. I just never told you what this place means to me. It's not just a court, it's where I came from, it's where I belong, it's my world."
"So do I get the biggest part of this world."
"The biggest part."
"There are 82 letters in here and they're all addressed to you. I wrote them all this summer. One a day, but I never sent them because I was afraid. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. 'Cause you hurt me so bad and I was afraid to be vulnerable and I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel. And I know that doesn't matter now, after what I did, but I just thought that you should know. This is how I spent my summer Luke, wanting you. I was just too scared to admit it."
"Brooke! I'm sorry! What you did with Chris, it's ok."
"It's not. It can't be. It's too much to forgive."
"Well, that's too bad, because I forgive you."
"You can't!"
"I just did. So you're gonna just have to deal with it. I'm the guy for you, Brooke Davis. I know I hurt you the last time we were together but-"
"I love you."
"I love you too…Pretty Girl."
"See ya later, boyfriend!… What?"
"Nothing. Just feels good to hear you call me boyfriend."
"Feels good to say it."
"You know what I think? Is I think you're trying to sabotage us. Find any reason you can end it. So that you don't have to worry about getting hurt again."
"But the same words Lucas?! The exact, same words?!"
"I never sent that letter to Peyton."
"And I never sent my letters to you either but they still meant something! Just tell me, why me this time? Why not Peyton?"
"I can't say anything bad about Peyton. She's my friend, and she's your best friend!"
"That's ok, you can say bad things about her."
"Oh Brooke. The truth is, I care about Peyton."
"Then what is the difference?!"
"The difference…the difference is I love you, Brooke. I wanna be with you, not Peyton."
"But why? I need to know why!"
"Because you… kink your eyebrow when you're trying to be cute; because you quote Keimoo, even though I've never actually seen you read! And because you miss your parents but you'll never admit that. And because I've given exactly two of these embarrassing speeches in my entire life… and they've both been with you. I mean that's… gotta mean something right? And because we're both gonna get pneumonia but if you need to hear why I love you I can go on all night."
"You did pretty good."
"Look Brooke, I need you to listen to me ok, I understand that you didn't know about the kiss, and I'm sorry for springing it on you, but I meant what I said, it didn't mean anything."
"A kiss always means something!"
"Ok, well, maybe you're right. But it wasn't a romantic moment. And you would know that if—"
"… if what, I was there?! As you so sweetly pointed out at the party, the party I threw for you, I wasn't there, was I???"
"Is it impossible for you to forgive me? I forgave you."
"For what???"
"For sleeping with Chris Keller."
"And you know what Lucas, I loved you for that. You had such grace in that moment that I fell in love with you all over again. I can't believe that you would use it now as a bargaining chip!"
"No, I'm not… I'm not… I'm not. I just… I need you to trust me, and believe me when I tell you that my heart is with you. A part of me feels like ever since we got back together, you've just been waiting, waiting to push me away."
"Oh…great. You kiss Peyton, again, and I'm pushing you away! God!"
"I love you Brooke, I don't know how else to say it."
"How about you show it?? I am not pushing you away Lucas, I am holding on for dear life! But I need you to need me back! Why wouldn't you tell me about the kiss and why wouldn't you call me when you were away and why won't you ever just let me all the way in?"
"Listen, I know it's been difficult for you lately, losing Keith and your heart condition and giving up basketball. I feel like I've been keeping you close to me to try to protect you from those things. Like I'm hanging on to the two of us for you, but not for me."
"I'm sorry I kissed Peyton. I should have told you."
"it's not about that Luke. It's not, I mean I thought it was, but this is not about her. This is about me. I love you Lucas, and I probably always will, but we go days without having a meaningful conversation. And I used to miss you so much when that happened, but it never seemed like you missed me. And I guess because if it, I stopped missing you. I mean look at today, there was a horrible accident and you haven't even called me…it shouldn't be like this Luke. I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore."
"Brooke, I'm sorry."
"Yea, me too."
"You told me to fight for you. And I did. You never fought for me."
"And I'm not going to."
"Ok. I guess I was wrong, I'm not the guy for you Brooke Davis.
I stopped running for a while and cried a lot harder. When I remember Lucas saying that, it hurts me even more. I remembered that night so vividly that it seemed like it was just yesterday.
The minute that I said that I wasn't going to fight for us, I instantly regretted it. But I was begging that he would say that he'd still fight for me, for us, despite the circumstances. And I still hate myself for saying those words. I still don't remember anything, but I can't believe that it took me forever to regain my memories and to see my first and last love.
I looked around and suddenly felt dizzy. It's like everything around me is spinning like a roller coaster. I continued walking across the street to find somewhere to sit in when suddenly my world became black. The last thing I felt was being caught with a pair of arms that instantly sent me a feeling of safety and security.