A/N: Sorry about the wait guys; the Document uploader wasn't working for me. It seems to all in be in order though. Enjoy!
He shut the door behind us and threw locking and silencing charms up before pinning me against it. His smile was almost predatory as his fingers slid up and down my shirt.
"Potter, shouldn't we be downstairs?" I rasped half-heartedly.
He smirked and leaned forward to bite my neck, "They're all going to leave Sirius and Remus in the kitchen and mutter about awkwardly. This seems like a much better way to pass the time."
"Does everything you do have to end by snogging me senseless? Can't we just cuddle?" I smirked as he fumbled with the buttons on my shirt.
"Yes it does and no we can't; not yet anyway." he growled in frustration, "Can't you wear a shirt with less buttons?"
I laughed and leaned down to capture his lips with my own. He moaned into my mouth and chills went down my spine. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and bit down causing him to groan and press against me more. His hands made contact with bare skin finally and he pushed my shirt from my shoulders. His mouth left mine and then teeth nipped across my collarbone slowly. I arched my back and grabbed fistfuls of messy black hair.
His hands worked at my belt quickly and he tugged the zipper on my pants down and tore the button off in his haste to get rid of my pants. All thought process ended as his hands slid my boxers down to follow my pants and groped my hardening arousal. His mouth trailed downwards and his teeth clamped hard on a nipple. I cried out and thrust myself against his hands.
"Bed, now." He growled and pulled from me as he tried to rid himself of his shirt.
I slid my hands along the bare skin exposed to me and pushed his pants from his hips. I took in a sharp breath at the revelation that Potter went commando and my fingers brushed his erection teasingly.
He half moaned half whined and tugged on my arms, "Snape, bed, now."
I obliged and guided him backwards to the bed while biting and sucking at his lips. His knees hit the bed and he fell back and moaned when I followed. His hips rubbed against mine and I growled into his mouth. Fingernails scratched down my back and across my ass and I ground my hips against his.
He whimpered softly and his hands slid between us to grab us both. A few quick tugs and his head thrust back, his mouth open in a silent cry as his release overtook him. I grumbled and sucked on his Adam's apple and was rewarded with him crying out and pumping his fist harder. I bit down lightly to repress a groan as I shuddered and came.
His lips pushed against mine with fervor and he rolled us over effortlessly. His hands felt like they were everywhere and my brain struggled to keep up with him. My body had no problems though and arched into his touch. Bright green eyes swam before my vision and suddenly he was still, just staring at me, smiling, and panting. His hand caressed my cheek slowly and I leaned to the touch with a small smile.
He pushed himself upwards slightly and kissed my nose. I felt my face flush a hot red and I looked away. He pushed his hand gently against the side of my face, "Why are you so embarrassed?" He kissed along my cheek and down my jaw. I swallowed hard, suddenly completely overwhelmed by his tenderness. I gave his chest a shove and he rolled to his side. I sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, taking in deep, calming breaths. Way to ruin a moment; what is wrong with you?
He kissed the back of my neck and snaked his arms around me, "Talk, Snape, please just talk."
I shook my head and tried to grab his arms to pry him off, "Potter, let go, I can't breathe."
He released me but stayed pressed against my back, kissing along my shoulders. I held my face in my hands and cursed myself. I have no business being here with him like this; I don't deserve this. I should apparate to the Dark Lord now and my death will be granted. His fingers traced a long scar across my back and every muscle locked up. I'm too tainted for him; I can't be the tender and loving person he needs.
"What happened?" he murmured and planted more soft kisses along the back of my neck.
"It was a long time ago; don't want to talk about it." I mumbled into my hands.
He sighed against my skin, "You said earlier it felt good to let some of it out. Talk, Snape, please."
I sighed and turned my head slightly to look at him. His eyes met mine instantly; trust shining through. I don't deserve for you to look at me that way. He gave me a small hopeful smile and bit my shoulder playfully. I rolled my eyes at him and lied down. His arms locked around my waist and his head rested on my chest.
I sighed again, "The scar is from my father. It was during the summer between my fifth and sixth year at Hogwarts. My mother hadn't cooked dinner to his liking. He was drunk again, each day worse than the last. He started yet another fight with her and I snapped. He raised his arm to hit her once and I slammed into him full force. I ended up getting hit with a belt repeatedly, that scar is the only lasting one. I'd have more but my mother made me vow not to get involved anymore."
His fingers traced over a small round scar above my hip, "And this one?"
I smirked, "A bullet. Wizards tend to overlook Muggle means of killing one another. I was one of them; the wizard who had a gun in his home was not. It was on a mission for the Dark Lord before I joined the Order."
A slight touch to the newest one along my ribs and I grimaced, "That's from the night I returned to the Dark Lord. It was my punishment for interfering with Draco's mission."
His fingers graced over my left forearm and stopped directly beneath the dark mark, "What made you join him?"
I swallowed hard, "A lot of things. Power mostly. I was always in love with the dark arts, and I had no real plan for myself after leaving school. I thought of running an Apothecary, but that involved staying in Hogsmeade as an apprentice. I wanted to be away from people I had graduated with. It also didn't offer me the kind of power I had so craved. Lucius remembered me from his fifth year; I had come in knowing more spells than most of the seventh years."
He smiled against my skin, "Remus said that about you."
I smirked, "Everyone said that about me at the time. Lucius came to Hogwarts on the pretense of asking for a job. He had really come to recruit a few more of the Slytherins. He talked to me for nearly about an hour about the Dark Lord, and I ate up every word. I was lonely, and I felt weak and useless. He preyed on what I hated most about myself and turned me into something I wasn't. I still remember the first person he had me kill; I can still see her eyes in my dreams."
Potter pushed himself upward again and kissed my lips softly. He gave me a sad smile, "I still see Cedric's eyes in my sleep. Voldemort had told Wormtail to kill the spare…and Cedric turned to me in confusion," he swallowed hard, "then a bolt of green light hit him and his eyes glazed over; his mouth open with whatever he was about to ask." He shuddered and lowered his gaze, "I saw Voldemort before he became that snake-like monster he is now. He was sort of…"
"Handsome?" I interrupted. He nodded quickly and I sighed, "That was probably another reason for my joining him. When I first went to a meeting it wasn't like I had pictured it. He had an air about him, something that drew people to him without any questioning." I laughed bitterly and shook my head, "He drew me in so tightly and he had a way of making you feel special and important. When you first start out is nothing like how he treats you as time goes on. I was someone he took a special interest in and it generated problems between Lucius and me. Lucius was not one to play second fiddle as it was, and I was not someone who was use to praise." I swallowed hard, "Eventually though I couldn't live with myself. I was becoming was too much like my father for me to bear."
I ran my fingers through his messy hair and he laid his head on my chest again. He fell asleep before I did, a soft snoring sound alerting me to it. I smiled and stared up at the ceiling. I haven't felt this at ease in nearly ten years. There is something sickly wrong with me. Albus, I need guidance, and who can I turn to now? I don't deserve this; I don't deserve him. Albus' voice ricocheted in my brain, "Everyone deserves love, my dear boy. Even those that feel they've lost their way." I closed my eyes and sighed. That was when I came to Hogwarts seeking redemption; surely you would not say the same to me now.