The Catch
by hye-kyo
Rurouni Kenshin and all of its characters are not mine.
Author's Notes: So finally, here is the third, last and concluding part. I'm sorry fi I said it would be out very soon…my school requirements prevented me from finishing this up. Actually I was three fourths done by the time I replied to most reviewers saying the last part would be up anytime soon. I was thinking I could get in done in three days however, papers and thesis requirements suddenly flooded in and I didn't have the time left to finish this. Actually I just squeezed this in. hope you like this last part. It's very long so please do take the time to read. Anyway, thanks a lot to those who reviewed. Please do keep those reviews coming. Thanks a lot and read and review!
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Part Three:
---
Kaoru woke with a slight headache and a queasy stomach. She hadn't eaten two whole meals yesterday and now she was suffering the consequences.
Kenshin hadn't called her last night. She tried to call him but his phone was either busy or was out of coverage area. She had quickly dressed into her work clothes and had started for the parking lot when she thought of checking if Kenshin was already back. Something tells her she wouldn't be seeing him in quite a while.
Kaoru ran the flight of stairs leading to his floor, not minding to wait for the elevator. Though she doesn't know what she'd see when she gets there she doesn't really care. All she wants now is to see him and know what is going on.
---
Twenty seven minutes later Kaoru was still standing in front of his apartment door. She was looking for any clue, any sign of where he might be. She wasn't some Sherlock Holmes but she was still hoping that by a certain twist of fate she'd find some traces of him.
---
Kaoru was late for work that same day. Megumi was absent for some unknown reason. And for some known reason she felt sick. She wanted to go home.
---
A day after, she received a voice message. But it wasn't from Kenshin. It was from the dance studio. She and the redhead signed up for it just before her birthday. She told him she wanted to learn jazz, and after a bit of persuading he finally gave in to her request and signed up. Since there were no available slots at that moment, they had to wait for someone to cancel their slot.
She should've been happy since she had gotten the slot finally, but knowing that it is quite impossible to go there with him, she cancelled the slot. She felt sick. But she has no fever. A fever would've been easier to cure.
---
Kaoru went to Misao's the following weekend. Misao's tummy had grown very big, to the point that Kaoru had even thought of whether there were actually two babies in her tummy instead of just one. Misao might have twins. And having twins suggest Kaoru should buy a gift now. But Kenshin promised they'd buy together.
But he was nowhere in sight. That means she has to buy a gift herself.
---
Soujiro offered to accompany her two days later to buy a gift for Misao's soon-to-be-born baby. She doesn't want to agree, but knowing that it would be unfair to herself to still wait for the stupid redhead and knowing that it would also be unfair to Soujiro, she agreed.
"Is there any problem?" Soujiro asked her. He was looking at the road ahead.
Kaoru turned to him. "No. Does it seem like I have a problem?"
Soujiro smiled.
"It sounded like a yes." She sighed. "So it means I look like I have a problem."
"Maybe something cold would do you good. Let's eat ice cream first before we buy a gift."
She smiled. The idea sounded good.
They stopped at an ice cream parlor just a block away from the round of department stores in Ikebukuro. Soujiro held the door for her.
"Thanks," she murmured. Soujiro looked so good to her now.
---
It's not like she was being unfaithful or something. Besides Kenshin might not mean anything, he might not even mean the kiss. He might not even remember he kissed her. So it would be alright if she would laugh a little with Soujiro and be happy for a little time with him. It wouldn't be called infidelity.
"What are you thinking?" Soujiro asked.
She smiled. "Nothing."
"I see. But you seem to be deep in thought."
"I seem to be?"
He nodded. He took a spoonful from his ice cream. "Whenever I'm with you I always feel like eating ice cream."
"Why is that so?" she took a spoonful from her cup. But to her surprise, it doesn't taste as good as when she is with the redhead. She shouldn't be thinking like that.
"I don't know." He smiled and after a while said rather seriously, "Is it about him?"
It took her by surprise. She stared at him, "What?"
"What was his name?" Soujiro asked.
She looked down on her ice cream.
"Maybe you should talk to him if you are that bothered."
She kept silent. Okay, she doesn't like the conversation. But she wanted to talk about Kenshin too. She had been keeping it all in herself since he had gone away, again.
"Maybe he would want to talk to you too."
"I don't even know where he is." She stated plainly. She was even surprised at what she said.
"Did you try looking for him?"
She nodded. "Maybe he just doesn't want me to find him."
"How did you know?"
"I…I just knew…" she toyed with her spoon. The ice cream lost its appeal.
"Don't rush into conclusions."
She looked at him, "Soujiro."
Soujiro smiled. "But if you decide to stop searching for him…I think I'm easier to find."
She broke into a grin. "I'll keep that in mind." She laughed. Soujiro has a way of making her laugh.
---
Kaoru knew that she needed to get a life. This had happened before and that's what Misao had told her to do. Now she was telling it to herself and she was unsure if she could do it.
She walked the streets of Ginza district and decided to give herself a makeover. She knew she should want the makeover for herself, but she was thinking of doing it for him. She had seen Tomoe and she had seen how pretty she is. Now she's becoming insecure. And envious. It's one of the seven deadly sins. Kenshin's a real fool.
"Kenshin," Kaoru murmured his name. She decided to call him, to tell him she'd have another haircut and this time it would be much shorter. She wanted him to know that and wanted him to say something about it. She dialed his number.
It was out of coverage area. She flipped her phone close. She stopped in front of a salon and took a deep breath before finally deciding to step in.
---
By the end of the week her hair had grown shorter by two more inches. And by the end of the week, she had lost at least three days' payment. She hadn't been going to work. Kaoru knew she should consult a doctor, because the pain in her stomach wouldn't go away. And it had been three days since it became really bad.
Today was no exception. She rode a taxi to Kenshin's workplace, she was too sick to drive her car. She would know where he is and whatever he is doing.
"Good morning." The receptionist greeted her back and smiled.
"I'm looking for someone." Kaoru felt the churning in her stomach. It was making her feel dizzy, "His name is Himura Kenshin."
"Ah could you wait for a while? I'm going to check. He is from what department?"
"Ah," she thought, the pain was growing more unbearable, "Accounting? I'm not sure. He recently got promoted."
After a while the receptionist emerged from having gone to the computer and said, "Ah, Himura-san, the head of the accounting department. He is on leave ma'am." The receptionist replied.
She frowned. "On leave?"
"Yes, but it wasn't articulated in our record. Maybe you should ask his secretary about it. May I know who is asking and your relationship with Himura-san?"
Relationship? She frowned deeper. "Ah, I am Kamiya Kaoru. I'm…I'm his friend." There she said it. So she was settling for the unromantic connection.
---
Misao told her to go see a doctor. And following her pregnant friend's instruction she decided to get a check up.
"You are depressed." That's what the doctor said. She was depressed and her stomach's aching because of that depression. How could that be? She should've just taken a course on medicine if she knew this would happen.
She was admitted to a private room a day after. She told the doctor she would want to be confined and the doctor, realizing that she would be better in the hospital agreed to admit her.
She turned the television off. She was getting bored. But she was much bored at her apartment, knowing that Kenshin's apartment was just a parking lot away. There was no visitor today. Besides, there were only three people who knew she was hospitalized—Misao, Aoshi and Megumi. Megumi had to know so there would be someone who could back her up lest her boss would start firing employees.
Soujiro was out of the country and she didn't want him to know either. She picked the cell phone that she borrowed from Aoshi from underneath her pillow. She would call Kenshin. She would want to listen to his voice.
There was a ring, another one and then another one until the line went busy and then finally went dead. She decided to call him again.
"Hello," there was an answer.
"Kenshin!" she almost screamed. She was happy, furious and nervous.
"Kaoru?"
"Kenshin."
There was a pause, silence as if he was thinking.
"Hey. Where are you?" she asked, she felt her stomach growing queasy again.
"Look," he said, he sounded serious and frustrated, "I said I'm going to call you."
"But you hadn't so I called you instead."
"I have to—"
"What are you doing? Where are you? I want to see you." There she said them all. She really wanted to see him.
"I'm so-sorry, but…I have to go now." The line went dead. Suddenly.
"Hey—" she stopped. She knew he was unreachable now.
---
Kaoru got out of the hospital three days after. She couldn't bear the boredom and the smell of antiseptic. Good thing she didn't take a course on medicine.
She parked her car rather carelessly as she got to work that morning. The sky was gray and it spoke of an impending rain. She brought her black umbrella just in case, tucked it into her bag and hurried to the entrance. She had lost at least a winter vacation's break worth of payment. She had to start digging now so as to keep herself alive in the following months, especially now since Kenshin seemed to have gone missing and she doesn't have anyone to rely on when she doesn't have anything in her fridge.
---
"You're out of the hospital." Misao commented as she saw her the following day.
"I am." She took a bite from her doughnut. "I don't like this."
"Then why did you buy that?" Misao asked. She was very round.
"It's the only thing I could afford these days."
"Really?" Misao laughed. She placed a hand on her belly, "I didn't know you were already like that."
"It's all because of Kenshin."
Misao's brows furrowed. "Maybe you should get married."
She suddenly looked at her, forgetting about the doughnut, she placed it on the plate. "What?"
"You should get married. If you do that, you wouldn't have to worry about what you are going to eat. Your hubby would provide that for you."
"You know I'm not the dependent type."
"But you are depending on Kenshin."
Kaoru frowned. "How can you say that? I don't depend on him."
"You couldn't even eat without him."
She dismissed it. "I could."
"Really? You even got sick and depressed. If he's not for you then forget about him."
She picked up her doughnut, "I know he's not for me…and as if I'm considering that romantic possibility! I only see him as a…friend…that's all."
"Oh, whatever." Misao took a sip from her iced tea.
---
"Hey," Kaoru said that night on the phone. She was leaving a message for him on his voice mail. "Stupid."
She sighed. "Where are you?"
She turned it off. She looked at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep.
She picked her phone again and dialed his number and after the operator's voice she entered his voice mailbox. She parroted the operator, feeling like she was in a hurry, and after the tone said, "I want to see you. Kenshin, I want to see you."
She couldn't speak anymore. She doesn't know what to say. She turned it off.
---
By the end of the week, she found herself talking to Megumi. "Where did you spend your honeymoon?"
Megumi smiled. "We were supposed to go to France, but all the flights were booked so we ended up in Italy. It was such a pretty place. It was very romantic."
Kaoru smiled dreamily. Kenshin said they'd be going to France, but considering what had been happening, maybe they wouldn't be going there anymore. "Romantic? What did you there?"
Megumi blushed a deep shade of red.
Kaoru suddenly turned red, getting what had made Megumi blush so intensely, "I didn't mean that…well of course that's what you did…but I was asking about the places you've been."
Megumi laughed. "Do you want to get married?"
She was taken aback. "Why ask?"
"I just thought of asking. You are old enough to get married, haven't you considered it yet?"
Kaoru pouted, "I'm not yet old. I'm just twenty-seven."
Megumi laughed softly, "Weren't you engaged?"
"Who gave you that idea? I don't even have a boyfriend."
"Really?" Megumi asked surprise, "Isn't the man always with you you're fiancé?"
Kaoru's brows furrowed. "No. He's just a friend."
"But I thought…"
Megumi's ramblings continued in the background. Kaoru heard parts of it, because by the time she said they were just friends her mind wandered off. She was trying so hard to forget him but people around her and even small things around her always make her remember. She doesn't like the feeling. She needed to get over this feeling now or her stomach would get queasy again.
---
She went to the cluster of department stores in Ginza the following weekend to buy a dress for the party Misao was planning to hold. She would've wanted to buy a dress with Kenshin because surprisingly Kenshin knows girls' wardrobe too well. His comments were really critical, straight to point, as if she were reading a fashion magazine. Now she was missing him again.
---
"No," Kaoru said. "I don't like to."
"But you considered Soujiro before." Misao was on the other line.
"I said that was the last time I'd go to a blind date."
"Okay, but why—"
She grew annoyed, "Why do you set me up in these kinds of dates?"
"I just want you to do something with your time."
Kaoru frowned, "Now what do you mean? I don't do anything worthwhile? So you are saying blind dating is something worthwhile. You are now saying that because you are already married."
"I'm just trying to help," Misao's voice thinned.
"I don't need your help. I'm fine with myself."
"There's no need to be mad you know."
Kaoru took in a deep breath. She scratched her temple. "Sorry. I'm just…I'm just a little overworked."
"You're having problems with your work?"
"No…not that…I mean…I'm just a bit…stressed out."
Misao let out a sigh, "Okay, I'll let you be. I'm just concerned, especially with your eating doughnuts. It's unhealthy you know."
Kaoru forced a laugh. "Don't worry, by the end of the month I'd be able to afford real food again." She laughed another forced laugh.
"Don't. It sounded dry."
Kaoru stopped laughing. "You noticed?"
"Of course. Who wouldn't?"
Kaoru smiled to herself. "I bought a dress earlier. I guess it didn't really make me feel any better."
"Dress for the party?"
"Yes. I like it. But I couldn't help but think if…" she trailed off.
"What?"
Kaoru shook her head as if Misao would see it, "Nothing."
"Kaoru."
"Okay. I couldn't help but think if Kenshin would find it nice on me."
Misao laughed. "Now I know!"
"Don't laugh. I don't like the sound of it."
"I couldn't help it. You are so funny. Why didn't you just tell Kenshin before that you like him a lot? That would've made it easier."
She reddened. Frowning, Kaoru said, "I don't like him...I mean, the way you said it…I don't mean it that way…"
"Oh?" Misao laughed again, "Stop acting, and stop lying. You know you are good at neither."
Kaoru stood up and went over to window beside the door. From there she could see the Kenshin's kitchen window. "I miss him."
"Isn't that quite obvious."
"He doesn't feel the same way."
"How'd you know?"
"I just knew." He wasn't still at home and his kitchen lights were still off.
"Don't you feel like you are making assumptions."
"I'm not. He had been telling me about this woman that he likes so much."
"Who was this woman."
"I know he was referring to his ex, Tomoe."
"How'd you know it was his ex?"
Kaoru sighed. "She came back and he suddenly acted strange."
"Maybe he has reasons."
"Reasons like what? I know he isn't over his ex yet."
Misao sighed, "Hey, inasmuch as I would like to try solve this puzzle with you I couldn't. Aoshi's already doing some sermons on the mount."
Kaoru laughed, "Is it good…being married?"
Misao thought for a while, "I'm not sure. But it's better than being alone."
"I see. Good night then. And thanks a lot."
"Tell me if you are interested in blind dating."
"Shut up." Kaoru laughed softly.
Misao laughed back, "Good night." She hung up.
---
She accessed the internet late that night to book a flight for her to Paris this winter break. Kaoru doesn't care if Kenshin said they'd go there together. She doesn't believe him now. And maybe she wouldn't believe him ever.
---
The problem was tautological. Kaoru knew she'd only get back to the very beginning if she would try solving the problem. So in the end, she decided to just let matters take its course. She wouldn't want to find out what really was his reason for leaving. She guessed it would only hurt her.
She checked herself one last time in the mirror before going out. It had been four days since she last talk to Misao. And slowly things were getting back to normal. Since she got out of the hospital she had been regularly going to work and hadn't been shredding papers that weren't supposed to be shredded.
Kaoru locked the door of her apartment and turned. The balcony revealed the spacious parking lot below. She looked straight ahead and saw his kitchen window. The lights were closed. This would be the last time she'd check.
---
It was still locked. There were no signs of people coming there for the past four weeks. Tomorrow, it would be a month since she'd last seen him.
"Stupid," she murmured. "I hate you."
Kaoru looked at her watch and decided to leave. She wouldn't want to get late for work.
---
The following Saturday Kaoru decided to do some general cleaning. She gathered all the stuff she'd be throwing away in a box and the stuff she'd be giving to charity in another box. After which she'd take care of the gift she bought for the baby. Misao would be giving birth by the end of the week.
Soujiro offered to help her but she declined the offer. She wanted to do something alone, something to completely divert her attention from the kitchen window just right across her door.
Sweat percolated from her temples to her neck. It was somehow a refreshing feeling, having been frustrated and hurt yet having done nothing about it. She felt a bit relieved, worked out. She scrubbed the floor harder.
---
Kaoru looked at the clock and found that it was almost two o'clock and she hadn't had lunch yet. She stood up, carried the box with the stuff she'd throw out. She'd leave it near the incinerator and take care of them after lunch. She stood up, went to the door with the box in her arms.
She was about to lock the door when she turned to look at the parking lot. She felt as if there's something she needed to see. She looked at her parked car and the other cars that were usually there. With the box in hand, she noticed a painfully familiar black Honda. She looked at it more closely and when she realized whom it was, her heart skipped a beat. She suddenly dropped the box, its contents scattered all over the floor and ran the flight of steps. She would see him. She would see Kenshin. She wanted to see him.
---
Kaoru could barely breath by the time she got in front of his door. She tried to catch her breath and prayed hard that he was inside, that it wasn't just an illusion. She took a deep breath before finally deciding to knock.
It opened suddenly.
Kaoru froze. It was Kenshin.
"Kenshin?" she murmured. She wheezed hard. It hurt a lot.
---
Kaoru took a step but stopped as Kenshin looked away.
"I have to go now," Kenshin said. He couldn't look at her in the eye. He was carrying a big black bag.
"Where?" she took another step towards him. She then looked at the bag.
"Kaoru I—"
"I want to know," she somehow felt that he would be going away for a longer duration this time. She wanted to know something at least.
"I'm going." He clutched the bag harder, "I don't know if…I might move out if…" he trailed off.
Leave the apartment? She panicked. She took another step and asked, "Why?"
Kenshin felt his cell phone vibrating. He took a deep breath then took a step towards her, another step and then another until he walked past her.
Kaoru felt mad, irritated, and nervous all at the same time. How would she be if Kenshin would leave? She turned around and before he could take another step she called out, "Kenshin."
He stopped. He finally stopped.
Kaoru took a deep breath then said the only thing she could say, "Please…don't…go…"
Kenshin looked down, and after a sigh he murmured, "I have to go now." He stopped and thought then finally said, "I am sorry…I didn't mean to…"
She suddenly felt weak and her knees almost gave in just as he started walking again, towards the elevator where he disappeared. She knew she wouldn't forget the image of his back walking away from him. She didn't know she had started crying.
---
Kaoru knew the water was rather hotter than usual. She doesn't really care. She wouldn't really care if she'd get all burned up taking a bath. Besides, she really doesn't care what would happen to her anymore.
He said he didn't mean it. What didn't he mean? Kaoru submerged her head into the water. It was painful, the hot water on her face was painful. She gasped for air as she emerged. Her face was wet and it was now okay to cry.
"Kenshin," she whispered. He didn't mean the kiss? Was that it? She was fearing something she couldn't name. Being alone? Somehow she knew she would be lonelier the coming days. Somehow, she knew the reason. Kenshin said he might leave the apartment.
But where would he go? So going away was like an exercise to train her to stop missing him. Was that supposed to make her feel less lonely if he would go away? She frowned. She tasted something salty. She touched her face which she knew was wet. She somehow felt that she was crying. She felt like a total fool.
"You didn't mean kissing me?" she asked before submerging her head once again.
---
Misao gave birth the following week. It was a healthy baby girl with eyes the same as Misao's and hair as fine as Aoshi's. They named her Miho. And Kaoru thought it suited the baby really well.
"Get married," Misao said to her when she came to visit her the first time. Misao said she'd be out of the hospital in three days and maybe after a week's rest she'd have the party. It would be in a restaurant in Ueno.
"How are you?" Misao asked her.
"I should be asking you that."
"You look pale."
"Really?" Kaoru bit her lower lip.
"And you are thinner."
"Good, I so wanted to get rid of these flabs," she pointed to her stomach.
"It's not that." Misao was eyeing her carefully.
"Then what?"
"Have you been sick? Again?"
Kaoru frowned, "I'm not sick. Don't worry I'm not a germ-carrier."
"It's not that." The door opened and came the nurse with the baby. "Oh, it's Miho-chan." Misao was giddy when she accepted the baby. Miho's cheeks were flushed and now that Kaoru was actually looking at Miho, she could say that most of her features came from Misao.
"She looks a lot like you."
"Really?" Misao beamed. "I was telling Aoshi that but he kept on insisting Miho-chan looks a lot more like him than me."
Kaoru laughed. "How does it feel?"
"What?"
"Having a baby?"
"Ah," Misao smiled to herself, "It's nice. But I know it wouldn't be this nice in the future."
"Pessimist. I see," she sat by the bedside and stared at Miho.
Misao laughed. Shifting to allow Kaoru space on the bed she then asked, "Why don't you ask Kenshin to give you a child."
"What?"
"You said you don't want to marry him but you seem to like him so much. Getting pregnant by him is one option."
Kaoru rolled her eyes. "Shut up. I hate him."
"Kenshin?" Misao unbuttoned her shirt dress to feed Miho from her breasts.
"Kenshin."
"Why?"
"He said he might be leaving the apartment."
"How'd he say that? He was nowhere in sight right?"
"He suddenly appeared." She took a deep breath then said, "Then he quickly disappeared."
---
Five days later, Kaoru found herself hauling the garbage out of the apartment. She kicked the door open. She knew she was getting thinner by the day. It was natural since she hadn't been eating a lot these days, and since she hadn't the appetite to eat these days, and since all she had been doing was working until midnight and cleaning the house from midnight to morning. She hadn't been sleeping. She had been obsessing about her apartment, and her work.
She felt her back getting cramped so she stood up and stretched. Her eyes wandered beyond her porch to his kitchen lights down to the stretch of land below her which she calls the parking lot. She stopped in mid-stretch.
The black car stopped and the engine died. It was Kenshin. Kaoru felt her stomach doing some somersaults, which because of pride she dismissed as mere hunger. She tried looking away, knowing that he was only back to get his things because anytime now, as if she was really certain about it, he would be moving out.
She sighed. Kaoru turned to look again. The driver's door opened and Kenshin came out. She watched him, and from where she was she could see how irresistible he still is. Maybe she isn't just hungry.
He was talking to someone inside the car and she peeked closer to know who it was. She wasn't sure but she from the profile perdu of the person inside Kaoru guessed that it was a woman. Tomoe perhaps.
Kaoru shouldn't be hiding like this and trying to know what he was doing. She should just go down the parking lot and greet them, ask Kenshin when he would be leaving and ask him where would he be moving in. Tomoe's place perhaps.
But she couldn't do that because maybe, and this time it's not just because of pride, she likes him more than she thinks she does and maybe she's getting hurt just by looking at them like that.
She turned away, left the garbage bag beside the door, went inside and locked the door.
---
Kenshin looked up. He caught a movement from the corner of his eyes. It must've been Kaoru. But it could've been someone else. He shook his head and started for the compartment. He needed some sleep right now. Maybe after Tomoe leaves.
---
Soujiro fetched Kaoru the following day. He was smiling and grinning as he greeted her.
"What?" Kaoru asked, frowning at him.
"Nothing," Soujiro smiled again. "I just thought of doing something this morning."
"What?" she arched a brow. She turned to the other cars at the parking lot. The black car wasn't there anymore. So maybe Kenshin had left already.
"I'd tell you later," he caught her hand and led her inside his car.
"Okay," she murmured.
---
Kaoru unlocked the door and was about to put one leg out when Soujiro touched her arm. She looked at him.
"I can't come tonight."
Kaoru smiled, "Okay."
"Ah," Soujiro looked away.
"What?" Kaoru asked. It was still early yet she wanted to get to work immediately.
Soujiro looked hesitant for a while and then suddenly he leaned towards her and kissed her on the cheeks.
Kaoru looked at him and broke into a smile. "Is that all?"
Soujiro grinned. "Yes."
"Oh I see," she laughed. "I'd just call you when I get home. I'd take the subway tonight."
He nodded, "Why don't you just take a taxi?"
"It's too expensive."
"Oh." He nodded and then smiled.
She stepped out and waved at him as he sped away.
---
So maybe, now that Kenshin's gone she could move on. Soujiro's acts earlier proved that the offer he made before was still open. She was still eligible to accept it. she would think about it and maybe, if things would work out well, she might accept it.
---
Kenshin stood beside the glass door. He had been trying not to bite his nails. He was getting nervous. Kaoru should be finished with her work at this time.
He hadn't talked to her last night. He had fallen asleep and had woken up in the middle of the morning. He decided to just talk to her early the next morning but someone from his work called and told him to report early. He hadn't even seen her since he came back. He needed to do some explaining.
His stomach was grumbling. He looked at the watch, Kaoru sure was taking her time.
The glass door opened and he saw Kaoru's officemate, Megumi coming out. He was certain Kaoru would be coming out anytime now. He needed to talk to her.
Kaoru came out just as Megumi disappeared somewhere in the parking lot. He took in a deep breath then called, "Kaoru."
"Kaoru."
She stopped. Kaoru knew the voice very well. Her stomach griped, not because she hadn't eaten anything for lunch, but because of something she refused to name. she turned. It was Kenshin.
---
Kenshin took a step towards her, smiled meekly and said. "Hi."
Kaoru looked hard at him. She was searching her mind for the right curse to say but she couldn't find any.
He took another deep breath then started, "There's something I need to tell you."
"Really?" she managed to ask. Her anger was rising.
"I wanted to talk about us, because—"
"Really now!" she exclaimed. Kaoru couldn't contain the anger any longer. She felt her temples palpitating, her pressure rising and she knew she would be delivering a blow she hoped would silence him forever.
"Kaoru—"
"How dare you! You left without any word, you ignored my calls and my messages. You treated me unfairly! How dare you expect me to listen to you now?" she was breathing hard. She never felt this mad in her entire life.
"I'm sorry that's why I—"
"Stupid!" Kaoru felt her hands reaching up, and readying for takeoff. It took off without any notice.
Kenshin was dumbfounded. The slap wasn't just a mere slap. It felt like a punch.
"I…" Kaoru was hiccupping, "I don't want to…see you ever again!"
---
Her hand was getting numb. Maybe she had overdone it a bit. But that was what he deserved. In fact, maybe something more than that was apt for him. She was walking towards the subway. She stopped as she reached the raised concrete overlooking the beach. She felt like crying. And she did cry.
---
On the first Sunday of the month of August, Misao threw a party at a restaurant in Ueno.
Kaoru had asked Soujiro to give her a ride, since she had been saving on gas, along with food and some supplies so as she could buy a plane ticket to France for winter break.
She doesn't know how she could manage seeing Kenshin without breaking into tears. She sometimes couldn't even believe she was that strong. Or maybe she was just a bit too proud, or a bit too hardheaded, or a bit too stupid.
Kaoru spent the entire afternoon sitting on her seat, until her behind ached and she needed to stand to get to the ladies' room. She almost bumped into Kenshin but she quickly took cover just in time to see him pass talking with a woman. Unlike her, Kenshin was having fun.
Kaoru hurriedly went to the ladies' room, locked herself in a cubicle and felt her eyes getting red and swollen. She spent at least fifteen minutes crying and fifteen minutes washing her face to remove the swell. She doesn't want Soujiro to find out and worry about her.
Kaoru went back and found out that Soujiro had been looking for her. He was in a hurry to leave because of some work-related matters, to which, though she really doesn't want to be left alone, she simply nodded to. Soujiro could only smile apologetically at her.
Kaoru had to admit she had been glancing at Kenshin the whole afternoon, to see if he was talking to someone, to see if he was having fun, to see if he was okay. Unlike her, Kenshin seemed to be in the mood for the party. There had been no dull time for him, since everyone had been approaching him since the start of the party.
By seven o'clock, people started leaving. She told Misao she'd take a taxi, since her stomach had started aching again. Kaoru knew she needed to have it checked by a doctor once more. Maybe it was just because she hadn't been eating, but it could also be depression.
Misao was too worried about Kaoru's plight that, out of whatever magic she possessed, she managed to put Kaoru in Kenshin's car. Kaoru's stomach ached the more.
---
Kaoru could only look at the window. The ride was uncomfortable, but it was good that she could just look away so as to avoid talking to him.
"How are you?" he suddenly asked.
Kaoru didn't know how to answer. She remained quiet tentatively.
"Misao said you're not feeling well."
"Ah…uh." She looked away again. She doesn't want him to know she had become sickly because of him. There's no need for him to think of himself that highly.
Kenshin looked at her through the rearview mirror. She really wasn't feeling fine. It was showing through her face. "Misao…Misao said you got hospitalized."
She simply nodded. She wanted to tell him to stop asking. As if he really cared, he was so having fun at the party. He doesn't have to pretend he really was worried about her.
"Maybe we should get you back there for check—"
"It's not necessary…I'm feeling okay."
Kenshin remained silent and looked ahead.
---
She opened the door just as the car came into a stop. She stepped out and before closing the door, mumbled a harried, "Thanks for the ride." She bowed quickly, closed the door and hurriedly walked towards her side of the lot.
---
Kenshin had watched her scurried away. Now that he had seen her more closely, he noticed how thin she had gotten. Misao said Kaoru had been complaining of some stomachache which, according to the doctor was just a matter of depression. Somehow, he knew the reason why she had been depressed.
He unlocked the door of his apartment. He would rest for a while then head for the shower. He doesn't know when he could finally talk with Kaoru. He might not ever, since she seemed to be enjoying the company of that man she called Soujiro.
---
She had missed the eight o'clock show she was waiting for since the week before. She didn't know she fell asleep while in the bathtub. She yawned and decided to put on her nightclothes.
Kenshin hadn't even tried explaining to her why he had gone away. He hadn't even tried explaining what he meant when he said he didn't mean to.
She turned the TV on, slouched on the couch and surfed the channels. There was nothing else to watch.
She looked at the clock. Kaoru wondered if he was still awake. Was he still thinking of moving out? At that moment she felt an intense desire to really know. To know what had happened, to know what he meant by kissing her, to know if he meant it anyway, to know if he would still move out.
And she wanted to try. At least just this once. This one last time. She wanted to try. If nothing would happen, it would mean that she just have to give up on him. And maybe accept Soujiro's offer, though she doesn't really want to be unfair to Soujiro.
She stood up, took a deep breath and remembered she was wearing the undergarments he bought for her. Maybe they'd serve as a lucky charm. This would be the last time. She hurried to the door.
---
He had changed into a plain white shirt and a pair of boxers. The strawberry design, now that he was looking at it, was actually cute. He smiled. He wanted to talk to her.
Kenshin knew he had already decided even before he decided to make a decision. He'd show Kaoru the boxers and hope she'd find them funny. He promised to show it to her and tonight he would. And maybe because of the boxers he'd be able to talk to her. He doesn't care if he'd get another punch-like slap.
---
Kenshin opened the door and was surprised to find Kaoru there.
"Kenshin," Kaoru murmured.
"Kaoru," he could only say.
Now she couldn't even remember the things she wanted to tell him.
He took a step towards her.
"I just…" she looked away, "I was…I was hoping you'd say you meant it." Okay, there she said it. What now?
"W-what?"
She looked away. Suddenly she felt like she had said something wrong. So maybe she shouldn't have said it in the first place. "N-nothing. I'm…I'm going now."
"Kaoru," Kenshin caught her arm just as she was about to walk away. He turned her to him. "What did you say?"
She frowned. "I said…okay, I said I was hoping you'd say you meant it." She was flushing so hard, all she could do was look away.
"It?" he wanted to make sure. He couldn't afford any weak link now.
Kaoru frowned deeper. "When you kissed me…I was hoping you'd say you meant kissing me…" her voice faltered as she neared the end of her statement. She suddenly felt weak, why is Kenshin asking too much from her? She suddenly wished she had never decided to talk to him.
Kenshin's worried look broke into a smile. "Really?"
She pulled away from him, "But…I-I get it now." She turned to leave.
"There's something I have to tell you," he suddenly said, inching slower to her.
"What?"
"Don't punch me or slap me okay?"
Kaoru looked away, "You couldn't blame me."
"I wasn't."
"Then I don't know. If you get irritating I might."
Kenshin smiled, "Okay, if that's what it takes."
"Then?" Kaoru felt a little fidgety.
"I am sorry."
She frowned and stared at him, "Is that all?" She took a step back. Her stomach was hurting all the more.
"Ah, no…" Kenshin took a deep breath. "There are too many things I wanted to tell you." He crossed his fingers, he hoped he would be able to say all that he had rehearsed to say. He touched her arm and led her gently inside. "It's better if we talk inside."
Kaoru stared at him.
"Okay," Kenshin forced a smile as he took a sharp intake of breath. He had rehearsed this a lot of times and now that he was in the actual moment where he needed to say it, he just couldn't.
"So?"
"Ah yes…" he took another deep breath. "Do you remember when you asked me about Tomoe, if she sought reconciliation and if I…and if I reconciled with her?"
Kaoru furrowed her brows, "Yes."
"You remember when I said that I am a faithful man."
Kaoru frowned. Does he mean he is still faithful to Tomoe? "Is that all you're going to say?" She brushed his hand away from her arm.
"Hey, wait…" Kenshin took a hold of her hand, "I'm not done yet."
She looked away, "If you're just going to tell me you're still not over her then I better get going."
"I am…I am not going to tell you that."
Kaoru turned to him, "Then what? Why don't you just say it?"
Kenshin scratched the back of his neck, "Look here…I'm trying to be romantic…"
She kept quiet and after taking a deep breath said, "You…You don't look romantic." Kaoru then skimmed her eyes over his boxer shorts. Okay, so she would listen more. Maybe she was just too assuming.
Kenshin blushed and looked at her with puppy eyes, "It's hard you know, to try to be romantic…"
"I know. Go ahead."
Kenshin grinned, "Okay."
Kaoru looked hard at him.
"When I said I am faithful to only one woman, I mean that."
"And?"
Kenshin frowned, "And I am faithful to you."
She frowned back. "What?"
"Kaoru." He scratched his head.
"Kenshin, can't you be a little less poetic? I don't get it." She wanted him to say it directly. She wanted to know what he really meant. She doesn't want to assume again.
"I thought you're good at comprehension," Kenshin asked, frowning.
"I am. I am really good. You are the one who's bad at sending messages."
"Really?" Kenshin frowned deeper, "So you are good at comprehension? Then why couldn't you understand that I love you from the very beginning?"
She was about to spat back when she heard what she had been waiting for to hear. "Excuse me?"
Kenshin looked away. "Now talk about low level of comprehension skills."
"Kenshin…what did you say?" She heard it. She just wanted to make sure.
"I…I tried kissing you once when we ate takuyaki. You avoided me."
"That was because…that was because I thought you were playing games."
"I wasn't. I am serious about you. Can't you tell the difference between making passes and courting?"
Kaoru slowly shook her head. "Just tell me now what you said earlier."
Kenshin turned a deep shade of red, "I love you."
Kaoru looked at him for a second and took a deep breath before yelling, "Then why did you leave me you moron!"
Kenshin was about to say something but was stunned at her reaction. He kept his mouth shut.
"I was…" she took a deep breath, "I was worried about you."
"You were?" he smiled slightly.
She looked away and blushed. "And about what you think of me…"
Kenshin took her hand and squeezed it.
She let out an irritated sigh as she said, "I was very insecure!"
He brushed a stray hair from her forehead.
"Stupid! You shouldn't have done that to me…" she was feeling relieved, mad, irritated yet happy. She wanted both to clobber and kiss him.
"I am sorry."
"Then…why did you leave me? Well, at least you should've explained to me…" Kaoru was looking at him straight in the eyes.
"It was a very sensitive issue," he said. "I planned on telling you, but when I thought I might be leaving for good I decided not to."
Kaoru shot him a quizzical look.
"Tomoe told me not to tell anyone."
She looked at him. "O-okay…" somehow, she still felt a little jealous for the primacy he had given Tomoe over her. So he would keep the story from her just because Tomoe told him? She couldn't blame him, she and Tomoe had known each other since forever.
Kenshin felt the quiver in her voice so he quickly said, "But she told me to explain everything to you since it was really unfair for you."
She simply nodded. Does that mean that if Tomoe hadn't told him to tell her, he wouldn't? Somehow, she felt a little jealous. And it was bad, now that Kenshin's telling her everything.
He knew there was still something wrong, especially with the way she nodded. Kenshin knew she was annoyed at something. "I would still be telling you if Tomoe would tell me not to tell anyone."
"You shouldn't if Tomoe didn't tell you to tell me. It might be very personal, and maybe there's no reason for me to know." Somehow, the exhilarating feeling from having heard him say he loves her had subsided and now, she was suddenly wishing she hadn't asked him why he went away.
"You should know about it." It was the only thing now that he could say to assure her. "Because I love you."
She nodded. She tried to smile, "You know what," she was feeling a little quivery, her voice started shaking and she felt a slight tugging at her chest, she then remembered, she had been trying hard not to cry since he left, and now that he was back, she suddenly couldn't hold it any longer, "I know I shouldn't feel this way, but…but I feel bad." She started crying.
He smiled at her as he quickly gathered her in his arms and said, "I know. I have been very unfair."
She pulled away from him. Kaoru wasn't the whiny type. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and forced a smile. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have cried like that." She sniffed.
He looked hard at her. There were still things that they have to fix, right now, telling her what happened is all that he could do, and is something that he should do. "Tomoe is pregnant."
She swallowed. "She is?"
He nodded. "Her parents didn't know about it so when she came back to Japan she could tell only me."
She kept silent.
"It was a very risky pregnancy. She was unhealthy and there were possibilities of miscarriage. The father of the child came back to Japan before she did and she came back wanting to find him. Her parents eventually knew about it and brought her to Okinawa."
"I see…" somehow, she felt a little ashamed for having all those doubts about him.
"I had to go there. Tomoe had been very kind to me since we were kids. And of course," he smiled and looked at Kaoru, "We almost got married didn't we?"
She broke into a smile. "And then?"
"We still couldn't find the father of Tomoe's child. Her parents were very conservative, and they were well-known in the area. I know their reasoning was a bit twisted, but I couldn't disagree. They wanted Tomoe to get married before everyone finds out about her pregnancy."
Right, Kenshin was highly indebted to Tomoe's parents because they raised him up when his father died. Kaoru placed a hand on his arm.
And then Kenshin laughed, "And of course, I was there. They asked me to save her from—they called it disgrace, though I think it really isn't. Tomoe seemed to be very happy about her pregnancy. That's why when I came back to get some things I told you that I might be leaving for good."
She let her hand travel down to his hand. She squeezed it. "That was mighty nice of you to do Kenshin."
He frowned. "I would've wanted you to tell me that was stupid of me."
Kaoru shook her head. She then smiled, "And then what happened?"
"Well," he released a sigh of relief, "Tomoe didn't like the idea, first because she doesn't want to put me into a very sticky situation and second because she knew about you."
"Really?" she was smiling. "You told her?"
Kenshin blushed. "I didn't. She just knew. She said it showed through the way I talked about you."
Kaoru smiled wider. "And?"
"Well, her fiancé came and they reconciled. It was a good thing her parents approved of him. He was actually a nice man, he didn't know Tomoe was pregnant when he left."
"So everything ended well."
Kenshin pulled her closer. He gazed at her. "I'm sorry."
"Don't worry. Now that I know about it, I feel like I have been worrying for nothing. You had always been faithful."
He suddenly frowned as if remembering something, "But you weren't. You were dating that Soujiro guy."
"Kenshin, I didn't date for two years! Don't you think that means something? And besides, me and Soujiro weren't dating," she suddenly pulled away from him and had her arms akimbo, "We were just hanging out. Moreover, do you think my life just revolves around you?"
"Doesn't it?"
She clobbered him. "Arrogant. Anyway, now that you reminded me of it, I was wrong when I said you had always been faithful."
"What?" he pouted.
"You were flirting around."
"I wasn't." he looked away, "Actually, I just made them all up so you'd get worried. Had I worried you?"
Kaoru looked away, "Not really."
"Kaoru," he said pouting.
She slowly turned to him. "I wasn't the least bit worried."
He pouted. "Aren't you going to tell me anything?"
"Like what?"
"Like I love you too?"
She smiled.
"So?" Kenshin looked at her expectantly.
Smiling, she said, "I hate you." And she wrapped her hands around his nape as she pulled him for a kiss that could probably last a lifetime.
---
The fact that they kissed and made up—well, made up and kissed—was quickly dispersed to their friends. Misao was very happy. She said she doesn't have to worry about Kaoru eating donuts anymore, since it would be Kenshin's task to do so. And she was glad that finally Kaoru found a cure for her stomachache.
Kaoru personally told Soujiro though it was quite hard phrasing it. Soujiro said it was alright, but considering the expression on his face she knew it wasn't that easy for him. She somehow felt a little guilty, and in exchange she promised to set her up with a girl from her workplace. Soujiro only laughed at first but agreed in the end. A week later, Soujiro called her and told her Omasu—that was the name of the girl—was very nice and the future seemed bright for them. Kaoru congratulated him, and congratulated herself for a job well done.
---
By mid-August, they received an invitation from Tomoe. She was getting married. Talking to her proved awkward at first, knowing the history of their acquaintance. However, as they talked more she felt like she had known Tomoe for a very long time. She was approachable, and very talkative. She had grown rounder from when she last saw her but Tomoe was still beautiful. She looked so happy. And somehow, Kaoru wondered how happier she could get once she married the redhead.
"Are you getting married soon?" Tomoe asked her at the reception.
To which she only replied, "I don't know about that moron."
Maybe she wanted to get married soon, but somehow she was a bit nervous too.
---
By September Kenshin moved in at the unit beside Kaoru's since the couple living there had finally decided to move out. Two weeks after, he moved in with Kaoru at her apartment, saying it would be much practical if they share expenses, since most probably they would be doing the very same thing after they get married, or if they get married.
On the third week of October, before he could finally pop the question, Kaoru asked him to marry her. It was funny, and Kenshin was so regretting he hadn't asked her immediately. He was planning on something special, a unique way of proposing, however Kaoru's candid, and threatening, way of asking him to marry her blew all of his preparations away.
It was on a Sunday and they were watching a movie.
"Kenshin," Kaoru called.
He turned, "Hn?"
She was looking at the television, her face without any reaction. "Let's get married."
He almost stopped breathing. He turned to her. "What?"
"I said let's get married." Kaoru looked at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Remembering the unique proposal he was planning, he couldn't answer her.
She arched a brow, "So?"
"Kaoru…I…"
She had her arms across her chest.
He wanted to pursue on with his plans so he said, "Kaoru…I think it isn't yet the right time…"
Her brows twitched. She looked dangerous. She quickly grabbed the remote, turned the T.V. off and hoisted him to his feet and pushed him out, slamming the door shut.
"Kaoru," he called, knocking on the door.
"Someone's moving out," she threatened.
"Kaoru!" he panicked. How Kaoru could do this to him, he doesn't know. After a few minutes of knocking on the door, he finally said, "Okay, okay. I'll marry you."
The door opened and a grinning Kaoru faced him. "I was only joking you." And she laughed a wicked laugh.
Kenshin felt as if his entire world fell apart. All he could do, in frustration was pull her into him and give her the hungriest kiss he could ever give.
---
December came and they finally got married. It was a simple ceremony, since Kaoru told him she really isn't very fond of extravagant celebrations. It was very intimate, attended by just their close friends and relatives. Kenshin was laughing the entire ceremony, because Kaoru kept pulling him somewhere isolated. He didn't know Kaoru was very creative and was very deviant. It made him look forward to the real honeymoon.
And so by the end of the first week of December they flew to Paris, contrary to Kaoru's belief that she would be going there alone, to have their honeymoon.
---
Owari