Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, clamp does 

CHAPTER 5

Confessions of the broken

Sitting a safe distant away from one another ought to be easier than arguing and shouting. Sakura stared at her food and he stared at her. He was surprised at how his gaze went unnoticed. She buttered the same slice of bread repeatedly. He thought of how beautiful she looked lost in her private moment.
"You're coffee is getting cold." He said. He could tell that his words caught her by surprise from the way she abruptly looked at him.
She posed a tiny smirk. She had a secluded look in her eyes that told him that she was not there mentally.
"What's the matter?" he knew what was wrong. It was all about last night. She was either still upset, uncomfortable around him or both.
"Nothing."
"If it's about last night-"
"It's not about last night. It's something else."
Syaoran was surprised at how quick she responded. He nodded his head letting the awkward silence take its place again. He finished his breakfast and looked at her again. She looked up finally catching him in the act.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
He had already planned an answer which he reserved in case of emergencies.
"I've just never seen anyone so out of it. I wanted to see if you would notice."
She dismissed him with her eyes and carried on with her pointless actions. Still, the odd incident left an uneasy feeling lingering.
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(Sakura's POV)

There was nothing I disliked about Tomoyo and Eriol's apartment. It was a combination of their passions. Tomoyo found pleasure in design and film and he was more into history and art. I was standing next to a mannequin while Tomoyo held a sketch book in her hands. I knew that she would be busy but I had to talk to talk to her. I felt horrible. She walked past me.
"Stand up straight." She insisted.
I did as told. She grabbed a chair and sat on it.
"Tomoyo, why am I standing straight?"
She smiled "I'm designing a dress just for you."
"You don't have to."
"I want to. You know that you've always been my favorite model."
I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Tomoyo I need your advice."
"Is it a matter of life and death?" she said lightly.
"Yes. Just when everything was going smoothly I had to go and ruin it all. I said some horrible things last night to Syaoran. I feel so ashamed when I'm around him now. After thinking about it I've realized that he didn't do anything wrong."
Tomoyo looked at me eagerly. "What? Start from the beginning. What did you do?"

"Last night he accidentally walked in on me while I was showering."
Tomoyo's eyes widened and like a reflex action her head shot up. A naughty grin approached her face.
"Go on; I'm listening."
"I marched up to him, like always do and shouted at him. I even remember telling him I hate him."
Tomoyo grabbed my hand and pulled me outside to the balcony.
"Sit down." She ordered.
I slowly sat down. I could tell that she wanted to giggle.
"You saw him naked?"

I was annoyed at how dirty she was making the incident sound; but then again, who was I trying to kid. I saw him naked and nothing will change that. No matter how I looked at the situation I will feel slightly guilty and perverse for looking at him longer than I should have.
"Yes, now every time I see him I picture him you know….naked."
"I'm sure he sees you that way too." She giggled.
I gasped "I can't even look at him. I feel like it's inappropriate to."
Tomoyo giggled louder this time. I was trying to erase my thoughts while she was finding them amusing.
"Aren't you supposed to be giving me a good piece of advice?"

"Oh yeah; First of all why were you mad?"
"I don't know! I just feel like being mad at him sometimes. The worst thing is that he's been so nice to me lately. Every time I think of the day he left I just want to break down and cry. Shouting at him stops me from doing that." I confessed.
"Sakura;" Tomoyo began in a soft tone. "You've got to let it all out. Tell him how you feel in a less hurtful manner. He's an understanding guy. Maybe he doesn't know what you went through. All he knows is that you hate him. In fact you two breaking up, might have been a matter of misunderstanding."
I looked at her and realized that she was more than just serious.

"Promise me you'll tell him." She said taking a step closer to me.
I nodded. I wished I didn't. I could not picture myself telling him.
Tomoyo smiled "Tell him tonight."

Before I could say anything there was a voice coming from the living room. Tomoyo grabbed my hand and pulled me off the chair.
"Eriol is back!"
I followed her then stopped in my tracks when I noticed who was standing behind him. Tomoyo gave Eriol a quick kiss on the cheek. Syaoran just smiled at me. I tried to smile back but instead ended up picturing him naked again. I flushed coyly before turning away. He walked past Eriol and Tomoyo who were busy showering each other with love.

"What a coincidence. You left so sudden." He said in a gracious tone. Sometimes it felt like we didn't know each other or lived together. He stood in front of me. I could not help fidgeting with my clothes. I felt like he could see everything. I wished I wore a turtle neck or baggy pants instead of a miniskirt. I started to feel the sweat break out on my forehead and my hands were sticky. He had an arrogant smirk on his face that made me feel nervous.
"Syaoran please stay for awhile." Tomoyo said.
Syaoran looked unsure but he smirked and huskily said yes.
"Perfect." Eriol said.
"We'll prepare the drinks; right Sakura?" Tomoyo said cheerfully.
I nodded.
"Do you need any help?" Eriol asked.
"No thanks. Sakura and I have a lot of catching up to do anyway." She made her way into the kitchen and I followed.
She leaned on the counter "You haven't mentioned anything about Ryu."
"That explains why you didn't want the guys to help."

"He said you two hit it off."
I began to blush.
"Is that really what he said?"
"Yes. He must really like you."
"We've got another date tonight. He's taking me to his apartment. He paints; I think it makes him even more romantic." I said in a daze. I knew what tonight meant.

(Normal POV)

Syaoran and Eriol stood outside on the balcony.
"Look at this view." Syaoran said in an unusual enthusiastic manner.
"What are you up to Syaoran?" Eriol didn't want to waist any time.
Syaoran did not expect such a sudden attack. He turned to Eriol and grinned leaving a speculating look on Eriol's face.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I saw the way you looked at Sakura. Anyone can tell from a mile that you want her."
Syaoran didn't expect Eriol's assumption to be so damn accurate.
"Is that so?"
"This is serious. I think things between you two are fine as they are. Why not leave them that way Syaoran? You don't want to hurt her again; do you?"
"I wish everyone would stop attacking me." He said with heavy emphasis on Eriol.
"You don't love Sakura anymore. You once made it clear that you would never enter a serious relationship ever again."
"I never said that I didn't love her." Syaoran replied calmly.
"Did you just wake up one morning and decided you wanted her back?"
Syaoran gave Eriol a nervous look "No Eriol! I've woken up every morning and decided I wanted her. I can't stop thinking about her and wanting to be around her. It all feels familiar. She makes me believe."

"Believe in what?"
"That crap about love and true happiness." He gazed beyond the horizon. "There are so many things I want to tell her. I just don't think she's ready for them yet."

Eriol didn't know what to say. He took a deep breath and looked at Syaoran.
"What about her new boyfriend?"
The nervous look on Syaorans' face disappeared almost as quickly as it had arrived. "Sakura has a lot of anger in her little body. She's going to run out of it some time." He replied completely ignoring the question.

"It's been almost three years since you two were together what do you expect-"
"Two year eight months and ten days." Syaoran cut Eriol off.

"What are you two talking about?" Tomoyo said making her way through the French doors with two glasses of wine in her hands. Syaoran and Eriol half-turned and looked at Tomoyo.
"We're talking about how spectacular this view is." Syaoran replied quickly.
Sakura was behind Tomoyo practically hiding.

They sat on small round chairs around a small round table . Eriol and Tomoyo always had something interesting to say. Syaoran and Sakura just listened until the topic of their stay together came up.
"Has Syaoran learnt any manners since the last time I visited?" Eriol said adding onto the statement a chuckle.
"He's trying." Sakura said quickly looking at him.
Syaoran smirked.
"Eriol and I were thinking that it would be great if all four of us went camping sometime in the middle of April." Tomoyo said holding unto Eriol's hand.
Sakura and Syaoran looked at each other then back at Eriol and Tomoyo.
"Camping?" Syaoran said with an unsure look on his face.
"Come on Syaoran. When was the last time you left this place for somewhere more peaceful?" Eriol asked.
Syaoran pondered for awhile. 'If Sakura comes...' He thought 'Tomoyo will probably be caught up with Eriol, so she'll have no choice but to spend more time with me.'
"Count me in." he replied hoping that Sakura would say yes.
"Um…" Sakura looked at everyone "I'll come if I can bring Ryu."
Syaoran's eyebrows descended as a cloud of disappointment gathered in his eyes.
"We're fine with it." Eriol replied sincerely.
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That evening Syaoran decided that since Sakura was going out again, it would only be
right if he hang around with Rei since she was back in town. With Rei, it was now fair play. He was using her as much as she was using him. That was one less thing to feel guilty about. He looked at his wrist watch. It was nearly six thirty.
"Sakura…" he yelled.
Sakura walked into the room with a quizzical look on her face. She stopped in her tracks.
"Yes."
"Come closer, I won't bite. I promise." He said in a pleasant light tone.
Sakura walked closer.
"What's this about?" she asked.
He walked over to the coffee table and grabbed a small pink box that had a white ribbon on top.
"Here." He handed it to her.
Sakura took it with uncertainty and curiosity.
"You didn't have to; my birthday isn't in until next week."
"I know. This is not a birthday gift. Consider it a sorry gift. I just thought that it was necessary."
Sakura looked at it in the most modest manner.
"What are you waiting for? Aren't you going to see what's inside?"
Sakura slowly untied the ribbon. She opened the box and was astonished at what she saw. Two sets of keys were staring back at her.
"Keys?" she asked a little more animated than before.
"I had them made. One is for your room and the other for the bathroom."
Sakura closed the box. She flashed an award winning smile that made his effort more than just worth it.
She looked at the box then up at him.
"That…is really…."

He didn't know what she was going to say. He watched her, waiting for a complete sentence.
"It was thoughtful of you. I can't believe you were actually listening to me."

He chuckled huskily "I tend to do that sometimes."
"I'm impressed." She paused before she spoke in a compassionate tone "I'm sorry about last night; really sorry. I snapped; I just didn't know how to handle the situation."
He relaxed his shoulders "I understand. Let's just forget about it."
"How can I. I need serious therapy after what I saw." She said jokingly.
"That's hilarious." He gave her a boyish grin that brightened his handsome face.
Sakura would have appreciated it if he didn't do that. The look on his face unfolded memories she did not want to visit. It made her want to adore him again. She immediately shook the thought of it.
They both laughed quietly, only because they didn't know what else to say. Syaoran knew that one day they would look back at the incident and laugh. He just never expected it to be so soon. He was enjoying every minute of it.

Talking to him about it made it easier for her to look at him without feeling ashamed.
"Ryu is waiting for me downstairs." She said briskly.

She was pleased that they had an opportunity to reconcile the differences. Now she could enjoy her night without having to carry a burden of guilt.
Syaoran nodded his head as he watched her walk away. The feeling of watching her leave held less abundance this time. His first reaction was only a phase that opened a door to something greater.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

He opened the door like he always did. He made sure she walked in first before closing the door behind him. He helped her take off her coat just like any man with conduct should. She smiled with affection before sweeping the room with her eyes. He turned on the lights uncovering the beauty of his home. It had bachelor pad written all over it. The furniture was few with an artistic feel.

"It's not much but its home." He said modestly.
"Are you kidding? It's cute."
"What kind of cute."
Sakura chuckled "Manly cute."
He smirked exposing the cute dimple on his cheek. He sneaked his hand well enough to grab hers without her noticing.
"I would give you an exclusive tour with background music but then dinner would loose its glam"
Sakura chuckled again.
"Keep doing that" he walked further into the apartment paving an invincible way for her.
"Doing what?"
"Smiling…something happens when you smile."
Sakura blushed vastly.
"Have a seat. I'll get us something to drink."

Sakura didn't sit down. She stood up and explored. What particularly caught her eye were the paintings on the wall. She recalled him mentioning to her that he painted but she never thought that he would that good.

"So what do you think?"
Sakura turned around as he approached her with two wine glasses in his hands.
"I can't believe how good you are. They look like they belong in a museum."
He handed her the wine glass.
"I really like this one." She pointed at a portrait of a little girl.
"So do I. That's my younger sister a couple of years back."
Sakura smiled again "It's beautiful…the way you use the colors."

He stood closer to her. Sakura could feel him breathing down her neck. She swallowed hard. He gently kissed her collar bone as she slowly turned around to face him. Their eyes met before their lips did. His kisses were patient and kind. Sakura could barely breathe.

The date served its purpose and Sakura was feeling good about herself. He parked his car at an empty parking space near the apartment.
"I had a great time. It would be awesome if we could spend more time together." He said.
Sakura blushed coyly before leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Yes"
"I'll walk you to your apartment." Ryu insisted.
"No it's fine." She smiled.
"No I insist. Besides I want to see your apartment. " He opened his door.
Sakura bit her lower lip and prayed that Syaoran would be gone and if he is home she prayed that he had his shirt on.

As they stood in front of the apartment door Sakura hesitated to open it. She wanted to waist as much time as possible. She opened the door. The minute she heard a sound coming from the television she knew he was home.
"It looks like we're not alone." Ryu pointed out.
As they walked into the living room they spotted Syaoran sitting on the couch. He looked up at both of them before standing up. Sakura looked at Ryu who had a stunned look on his face that made Sakura want to hide.
"Ryu…" Sakura began in a hesitant tone "This is my roommate Syaoran."
Ryu let his arm out for a handshake. Syaoran firmly shook his hand.
"You're exactly as she described you- decent." Syaoran manage a smirk. Many things were going through his mind.
Ryu grinned. There was no telling what he was thinking. "It's nice to meet you."
Syaoran nodded as his eyes feel on Sakura. Sakura kept her eyes fixed on Ryu and Ryus' were on Syaoran.

"Come…I'll show you the rest of the apartment." Sakura said pulling on his arm. Ryu gave Syaoran a cold hard glare that only Syaoran noticed.

When they were in the kitchen Ryu leaned his hands on the counter and gave Sakura a look that Sakura immediately interpreted.
"I know you were expecting him to be a girl. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just thought it didn't matter. We're just friend, I think, and he's helping me out. We barely speak anyway."
"That doesn't bother me Sakura. I'm completely fine with it. You don't have to hide anything from me. I understand."
Sakura moved closer to him and wrapped her hands around his neck.'
"What bothers me is the way he looks at you." Ryu confessed.
"And how does he look at me?"
"I don't know Sakura, maybe it's one of those things that men only notice but he looks at you like…he's in love with you or something."

Sakura laughed hysterically "Trust me, he doesn't."
Ryu looked at her and smiled "Are you sure."
"It's one thing I'm very sure about."

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A/N: Thanks sooo much for the reviews from the previous chapter. Please keep on reading. I've got tones of ideas for later chapters. Plz give me a review for this one.