Disclaimer: I do not own CCS

Chapter 10

Lost for words

(Normal POV)

Two days later

He slowly opened the shutters then strolled over to two empty boxes on the floor. There was much to be packed, too much. If he spent more time accomplishing his task and less time thinking about her, the whole apartment would have been empty. He didn't own too many things but it was taking forever to pack everything.

"So you really are leaving." A voice came from behind him spoke.

Syaoran immediately recognized Eriol's voice.

"Don't act surprised. You knew I would eventually…I've overstayed my visit. Now there is no point of staying any longer."

"She's living with Ryu now."

"I figured." Syaoran said firmly.

"She needs you."

He sighed "No she doesn't. Besides they really need me back in Hong Kong."

"Come on; don't tell me you are giving up. You never give up."

Syaoran turned around and gave Eriol a cynical look. Though he was trying to look alright, he looked like someone had taken away his soul.

"What? Aren't you the same guy who warned me to stay away from her? Maybe I should have listened to you. This is far worse than what I was feeling before I met her again."

Eriol faked a laugh "Oh…so she rejected you once and you're already giving up. I'm sorry for not believing in you but don't give me that bullshit about how you tried and got nowhere."

"She rejected me twice…I'm not giving up. I just want her to be happy and if that means without me then so be it." he turned away as though the pain was too much to tolerate.

Eriol leaned against the wall next to the door that separated the office from the living room. "That's just it, she can't be happy with out you."

Syaoran did not move. Eriol gradually approached him.

"Sakura has always been a great friend. When you came back, Tomoyo had this crazy idea of getting you two back together. She just wanted Sakura to be happy again. I wasn't too wild about the idea but I went along with it. I thought if you came back in her life…she'll be hurt. It was stupid of me. When you are not around she's distant…the only time she really smiles is when she is with you. I saw that when we went camping."

Syaoran packed his office equipment and pretended not to listen. He then looked down at the floor and said "Do you mind helping me pack up."

Eriol shook his head and sighed "Sure."

Syaoran picked up a box and placed it on the table. "How did you get in here anyway?"

"Your front door was open. Oh yeah, before I forget, I have big news!" Eriol said with a sudden excitement.

Syaoran finally looked at Eriol, this time with a half smile. "What is it?"

Eriol's face glowed "I'm going to ask Tomoyo to marry me."

Syaoran smiled as his eyebrows shot up "It's about time. What took you so long?"

"It was timing. First she was so busy with her career and so was I and we just moved in together…it seemed too soon. Now that everything is settled-it will be perfect."

Syaoran slightly shook his head as his smile slowly disappeared. Bittersweet nostalgia filled his mind. He blinked then smiled again. "I thought you said you weren't going to get married till you're thirty." Syaoran pulled down his baseball cap.

Eriol chuckled "Easier said than done."

………………………………………………

Sakura sat on the bed and paged through a large green folder. She only managed the flip through two pages when she mumbled "I'd like to come with you…don't go." She didn't know how she let the words slip but Ryu obviously overheard her. He walked into the room and sat next to her.

"Hey babes, who are you talking to?"

Sakura blinked hard "Um…myself. I do that sometimes, I know it's weird…"

Ryu planted a kiss on her forehead "You're right, it is."

He turned aside; his eyes fell upon a pile of photographs. "Are these those famous pictures you're always talking about?"

Sakura picked them up "Um…I don't always talk about them…can I show you some other time." She said coyly.

He grabbed them from her hands "Come on Sakura; don't tell me you are shy."

Sakura looked at him plainly "I kind of am."

He stroked her cheek "That's cute…now lets see what you've been hiding.

Sakura swallowed hard.

He took a quick look at each picture, not finishing the pile and placed it aside "Sweetheart…can I be honest with you?"

Sakura tucked her hair behind her ear "Sure."

"You should get a real job. In photography you kind of have to be talented and you pictures are." He paused and muttered "how can I say this in the nicest way possible "Confusing. No one is going to want to buy these. You're a gorgeous girl and your body is…" he bit his lower lip "beyond hot. Why don't you model or…I don't know…something profitable."

Sakura's jaw dropped. She stood up abruptly and started walking toward the door.

"Hey Sakura, what the hell is your problem. Was it something I said? You know you haven't been yourself lately. You're so emotional and quiet."

Sakura half turned and replied "I'm thirsty and I want to see what's on TV."

"I choose what we're watching…" he said excited.

"Don't you always." Sakura muttered.

"What was that." He said squinting.

Sakura fake giggled "Uh, nothing."

As she filled an empty glass with water she took a deep breath and asked herself "What am I doing here?" Ever since she left Syaoran she just didn't want to do anything. She didn't want to talk to anyone or say anything. She couldn't stop thinking about him. If she'd keep this up she was bound to explode. To top all the confusion her so called prince charming was driving her crazy. So much for Mr. Understanding. She couldn't help but compare him with Syaoran every time he did something. He spoke to his mother on the phone at least thrice a day; Syaoran never spoke to his mother. He combed his hair neatly even before he went to bed, Syaoran barely touched his hair. Now making herself believe that she loved him became complicated.

She walked into the living room where he was already seated comfortably on the velvet sofa. She sat next to him and he quickly put his arm around her neck.

"Wow…you smell so nice, like strawberries."

Sakura tried to smile but she couldn't. "Thank you." She said plainly.

He shifted closer and gently pressed his lips on her neck. Sakura stood up like it was a reflex action. She shuddered and crinkled her nose.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

Sakura beamed though her eyes looked like they were crying. "It just shocked me; it tickled."

He abruptly grabbed her hand "Come on, sit down."

Sakura shook her head "No, I have something to do."

He sighed then slowly released her hand.

Sakura walked quickly into the bed room. He followed her.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You won't let me touch you! You won't even let me hold you. You're not being honest with me Sakura. It only took one night for things to completely change between us."

Sakura simply shrugged her shoulders.

He held her waist and traced his hands against them. Sakura snapped and pulled away.

"Will you quit that Ryu, please?"

Ryu glared at her with intensity. Sakura played with her fingers then slowly looked up at him.

"I'm sorry; I can't stay with you. It's not because of you, you've been great. I just need to sort some things out."

Ryu rubbed his chin with his index finger "Do you love him?"

Sakura paused. She did not blink. She swallowed hard as she felt hot tears behind her eyes.

"Yes."

Ryu sighed. He moved closer to her as his eyebrows descended and his mouth twisted. He grabbed her shoulders and tightly squeezed them.

"I love you. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I had so much planned for us."

Tears began to flow freely from her eyes. Sakura could no longer control her emotions and neither could he.

"You will never find another man like me! Why do you have to be such a little bitch Sakura? Tell me why? (Harsh, does he really expect an answer after that).

Sakura tried to push him away but he was much stronger.

"Stop it!! Let me go Ryu!" she yelled in the midst of the tears.

"No I'm not letting you go. You want to leave me. I know you do!" he yelled back.

He smelled her hair then he pressed his lips against hers. His lips were dry and rough against hers. She wanted to scream. As he forcefully held her face closer to his, Sakura pushed his away and ran towards the door before he could grab her again. She quickly closed the door and to her delight the keys were in the keyhole. She could hear his footsteps and quickly she twisted the key.

"Damn it Sakura, open the damn door!" he yelled while continuously twisting the door knob."

Sakura wiped the tears from her cheeks. She looked down at her bare feet "I forgot my shoes in there." She muttered.

She ran to the living room where she grabbed his car keys and left the apartment.

………………………………………..

She stood in front of a navy blue door. It felt like an eternity since she had been there. She thought "How should I knock? How am I going to say this? What is he going to say? What if he hates me now? He has to hate me; I'd hate me if I were him. " She bit her tongue. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

She whispered underneath her breath "Syaoran, I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say it any sooner. If you leave me, I don't know what I'll do."

She looked up at the door then lightly knocked on it. Her knuckles were shaking and her palms were sweaty.

The door slowly opened. Syaoran's eyebrows shot up. Words stuck to his throat as he looked at her. Her face was pale. Her eyes were dark and tear stains covered her crimson cheeks. Her hair was in a neat ballet bun. She wore a beautiful red summer dress. Her feet were bare. She looked tragic and lost. He knew that he would never forget the way she looked. He felt utter sorrow. He never thought that staring at a creature so beautiful and sweet would bring him such misery.

"What happened to you?" he asked softly.

Each word evoked a feeling of foreboding in her. She didn't know if she was strong enough to contain herself. She wanted to fall so that he could catch her and hold her. His amber orbs were intense and she felt like she was home.

It was too hard to explain. "Nothing." She said in a low tone.

"What are you doing here?" His tone remained gentle and sensitive.

"Um…I…" she choked on her words "Uh…I forgot a pen." She lied.

He kept his gentle eyes fixed on her "You came all the way here for a pen?"

She nodded "It's a special pen…It's lucky."

He let her in slowly closing the door behind her. Sakura look around the apartment. It was empty. All the happiness, sadness, anger, love had died. It was like her when Syaoran is not in her life.

"I didn't see any pen but I'll go check."

Sakura nodded and watched him walk away. The room was dimly lit. The portraits on the wall were gone. All the furniture, the television set, the mat that used to be precisely where she was standing. They were all gone. The only thing left were brown cupboard boxes. It was then it really sunk in, he was leaving.

He walked into the room and walked toward her "I didn't find your pen… but I found this."

He handed her a photograph. It was one she had taken months earlier when she visited family member in the country side.

"Thank you." She said softly.

"It's beautiful" his eyes glowed "You're really good at this. I see why you love it so much." He paused "Where are you're sho…you know what never mind."

Sakura looked at him. He was being pleasant and honest. She felt like she didn't deserve him.

"I've got to go." She said plainly starting her way toward the door.

"Sakura"

She stopped in her tracks.

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning." He looked at her back; he wished he could see her face for the last time. He wanted to make her stay and tell her how much he loved her until she couldn't stand it anymore. Instead, he tucked his hands into his pocket and said in a husky tone "I hope everything works out for you."

"Me too."

She strolled towards the door and never looked back.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..
A/N: too short. The next chapter might be the last depending on what I come up with.


R&R please