Chapter 3-False Matrimony

Harry Potter entered the mental hospital and asked the receptionist if Doctor Harper was busy. He was so Harry had to wait. and wait.. and wait.. for about two hours!

"Mister Potter, Doctor Harper will see you now?"

"Ms. Granger has you listed as her next of kin, Mr. Potter."

"Yes sir."

"Does she have any surviving relatives or are you her husband? You cannot see her if you are not a relative."

"I'm her.. um.. Husband, yes."

"Do you have proof of that? She's not wearing a ring." As the Doctor was saying this, Harry magicked a plain gold ring onto his finger, with his wand behind his back and up his sleeve.

"I am though." Harry raised his left hand, showing off the ring he had just created.

"Do you have a marriage license?"

"Uh, at home."

"Well, you'll need that as proof and then you can see her."

"Alright, thank you Doctor. I'll be back."

"Well, I'm looking forward to seeing you with that proof, then we'll talk about seeing your wife."

Harry nodded slowly, before replying, "Yes, I will be seeing you soon."

"Bye now, Mr. Potter."

"Bye."

After leaving the hospital and returning to the alley he had apparated from earlier, Harry apparated to the Burrow, wondering just what he was going to do now.

How am I going to create proof of this farce marriage I've made up. Oh what a mess! I hope Hermione doesn't want to kill me.. though if it gets her out of there it will be fine and all will be absolved as its false so there won't be lasting consequences. Who can help me with this? Who.. Who?

"Oy Harry, where's Hermione?" Fred and George greeted.

"Um.. She's still in the hospital.. They wouldn't let me see her since I'm not family."

"What are they bloody mad? You're like the only family she's got.. Wait didn't Mum and Dad adopt her?" Fred asked.

"Only in the wizarding world."

"Oh."

"I.. Um.. I made up a lie." And Harry held up his left hand.

"Nice ring, why you got a ring on?" George asked him.

"I kind of told the Doctor that she and I are married, in hopes that he'd believe me and let her out."

"Oh."

"Harry, how're you?" Remus greeted walking in.

"Are you ever at home these days, Remmy?" George asked the werewolf.

"Yes, I was just a few minutes ago, I wanted to see Harry and bring him his mail."

"Well I don't want to see it unless it has the answers to my problem!"

"What's the problem, Harry?"

"Anyone know how to come up with a false but official certificate of marriage?"

The three men stared at him.

"Why?" Remus asked.

"Because he told that Doctor Hermione's his wife."

"Harry, you and Hermione got married that's terrific!" Ron exclaimed bounding into the room.

"Why are you always here, you got married and moved out!" George asked his little brother.

"Why are you and Fred always here, huh? Don't you have a flat above the shop?"

"Yeah, we do. Why are we always here?"

"Food, brother, food." Fred answered.

"Uh.. Hermione and I aren't married Ron, we've never been on a date either.. It was just the first thing I thought of to be a kin of Hermione, Since I'm not her brother, cousin, father or uncle, I'd have to be her husband to see her."

"Ah. So how are you going to explain your her husband then?" Ron asked.

"I don't know."

"Where's Bill when you need him, there's a billion of you here and no guy who's great at charms!" Harry exclaimed.

"Wow, didn't know I was missed so much, what's up, Harry?"

"Can you make me a fake but official marriage certificate?"

"Just need the names of the bride and groom and their parents."

"Oh okay. Harry James Potter for groom. Hermione Jane Granger for bride. My parents are James Charlus Potter and Lily Kathleen Evans Potter and Hermione's are Homer Michelangelo Granger and Jane Amelia Campbell Granger."

"Homer Michelangelo?"

"I didn't name him!" Harry exclaimed.

"Wow, no wonder Hermione's got such a weird name," Ron commented.

"Can you make up that certificate for me?"

"Do you've got a ring for her?"

"How about a wedding photograph?"

Harry made a ring with a wave of his wand. "There a ring." Harry said, before continuing: "How about we copy and edit a muggle photo of my parents?"

"Good idea, go get one Harry." And Harry raced upstairs for his trunk and photo album.

"How do you think, Hermione's going to react?" Ron asked after Harry returned and gave the book over to Bill, Remus and scarily the Twins.

"Uh, I don't want to think that far ahead yet."

"I don't blame you, she's going to kick your arse!" Ron laughed.

"Oh thanks a lot, Ron."

"Done!" Bill exclaimed handing Harry a marriage certificate. "Shall we get started on that picture now?" Bill asked the Twins and Remus, whom had copied the original.

"How about a photo of Harry and Hermione?"

"Here you go," Ron handed his eldest brother a picture.

"Not from first year Ron, a recent one perhaps?"

"There should be one from a couple weeks ago of Hermione, Ron and I," Harry said. "Tucked into the album somewhere."

And sure enough there was.. Bill made a copy and Fred and George coaxed the pictures of Harry and Hermione to leave Ron and become one with the other picture.

And ta da, Fred was holding a picture of Harry and Hermione in his parents wedding clothes.

"Thank you! Thank you, now I can go rescue Hermione," and Harry took the certificate and the picture, along with the ring in his pocket and apparated away.

"Damn, Hermione was right, he really does have a saving people thing!" Ron exclaimed laughing.

"At least this time its not without a reason." Remus replied.

"That's for certain," Tonks answered.

"Does anyone ever floo ahead anymore?" Mrs. Weasley asked coming into her sitting room.

"No," they all replied in unison, before apparating away with six pops.

Molly Weasley just shrugged before sitting down and starting to knit a sweater.

"So Mister Potter, do you have my proof?"

"Yes Doctor, I do." And he handed Doctor Harper the picture, marriage certificate and ring.

"She forgot her ring by the sink after washing dishes the day you incarcerated her, Doctor, that's why she's not wearing it now."

"Ah, of course, Thank you, Mister Potter," Dr. Harper said after looking over the picture and reading the certificate and he handed the ring back to Harry. "Now, I need to ask you a few questions before I let you see your wife."

"Alright Doctor."

"Well, first off, she claims to be a witch."

"But she is!"

"And what are you a wizard?" The Doctor deadpanned disbelievingly.

"Of course I am sir. I am the bloody Boy Who Lived."

"Uh huh." and three men in white lab coats came in and put Harry in a straightjacket. "Mr. Potter, since you are married I'm going to put your wife and yourself together."

"Why have you put this thing on me?"

"You I believe are as insane as your wife, Mr. Potter, saying your a witch and a wizard, they do not exist, you nutcase!"

"But, but.. Oh shite!" And Harry was dragged away.

Harry was placed into Hermione's room and removed of his straightjacket.

"Harry!"

"Hermione put this on," and he handed Hermione the ring.

"Why?"

He hugged her and whispered in her ear. "I told them we were married to see you and try to get you released. Now they think I'm crazy as well! Oh and they think we're married, so I get to stay with you."

"What?"

"We're married, Hermione," He whispered, "Bill forged a marriage certificate to get me in here.. We even have a fake wedding photograph courtesy of Fred, George and Remus."

"Wow Harry, all that only to be stuck in here as well?"

"Sorry." And he released her from the embrace.

"Did you tell them you were a wizard?"

"Yeah," Harry answered sheepishly.

"Yeah, I said I was a witch and they took my wand!"

"What?"

"Yeah."

"Damn, bastards!"

"Relax Harry, how are we going to get out of here?"

Just then the door opened, "Mister Potter, you are required to turn out your pockets and turn in any sharp objects."

"Oh come on Murray, My Harry doesn't have anything dangerous!"

"Oh sure, Hermione, right, still, its procedure, you know that Ms. Granger, or shall I say Mrs. Potter, now?"

"Fine, fine, here you go," and Harry gave Murray the contents of his pockets.

"Thank you, Mister Potter, Harry is it?"

"Yes it is."

"Bye now, Mr. and Mrs. Potter, dinners in an hour." And Murray left.

Please Review.. How oh How will Harry and Hermione escape this? Thanks for the adds and review.