DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters and the song.
Chapter 2: IF I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU
Cloud stares at the empty room. He was shocked, speechless about Tifa's confession. He never thought things like this would happen. Never in his wildest dream, he imagines this to happen. Why of all the people Tifa would be the one to leave. And then a song field the room...it's from the tape.
"If I'm mot in love with you
What is this I'm going through?
Tonight"
She's gone, she's out of my life forever... why did I let this happen. Did I pushed her away... was the thing that she said are all true? I didn't know that I was hurting her, I will never do that to her, she's my best friend, through thick and thin she was always there by my side. I didn't know that grieving for Aeris death would hurt her...
"And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in?
Why do I go crazy?"
But didn't she just say that Aeris is also her friend, then why grieving to Aeris death hurt her that much and leave me alone here.
"You IGNORE her!"
Did I?
"Didn't you understand what she said, SHE LOVES YOU"
Did she?
Why didn't she tell me... all along I'm in love with her. The reason why I grieve that much to Aeris is that it was my fault why she died, there's no other reason...
"Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do?
If I'm not in love with you"
Ever since, I love no one but only her, but why did this have to happen. Why DID I let it happen? Aeris was only a friend, I know she was in love with me, and there was a time when I thought I was in love with her, but the feeling that I felt for Tifa is much stronger than what I felt to Aeris...
"And if I don't need your touch
Why do I miss you so much?
Tonight"
What I felt for Aeris was a brotherly love nothing more. Tifa is my one true love, the only one that I need in my life. But now that she's gone, what should I do? She's my life. I know that it's my fault; I gave my whole time in grieving for Aeris, and finding Sephiroth for revenge...
"If it's just infatuation then
Why is my heart aching?
To hold you forever"
Why did I let time pass, there's so many chance, opportunity that I could have told her about my feelings. Why didn't I realize that I should unfold my feelings. Why did I let her slip from me, how foolish of me...
"Give a part of me I thought I'd never
Give again to someone I could lose
If i'm not in love with you"
I've wasted so much time, and gain nothing. I thought as time goes by, all things will go perfect, the way that I wanted. I never knew that as time goes by, people change, and also their views in life. If only I told her about my feelings, maybe we were together now. Living happily...
"Why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Like lovers lost in sweet desire"
And not living like this, away from her, I never want to be away from Tifa. All I want is to be on her side. Tifa and I, always forever, loving each other. We could make a perfect couple. But that's all impossible to do now, isn't it? She was gone, she left. And all the blame is on me. I wasn't brave enough to face the reality. I am the coward Tifa, not you. If only...
"Why in dreams do I surrender?
Like a little baby
Someone help me explain this feeling
Someone tell me"
...If I have the power to turn back time, I would surely tell her about how I feel. So she wouldn't think that I was in love with Aeris. Though I thought I was before, but maybe that was just an infatuation, but when I saw her again in Don Corneo's mansion. I know I was deeply in love with her...
"If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through?
Tonight
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in?
Why do I go crazy?
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do?
If I'm not in love with you."
Why did I let time pass by, for me to realize all of these I can't live without her? She's my life, my world, my everything. I'm very sorry Tifa if I took you for granted. Promise I will find you, wherever you are...PROMISE!
To be continued...