This is Emily's POV after they leave Ethan's birthday party. Very important now kids so pay attention. Again thanks for all the reviews and support for this story. Your reviews make me smile and you know how to get more updates just hit the little button at the end!

Leaving Ethan

I go to my room as soon as we return home from the Stablers. My father had asked me what was wrong and I almost broke down and cried right there. When I told Ethan tonight that I was leaving the day after tomorrow I almost wished that he would begg me to stay, stay and marry him and become the wife of a rancher. Then I strengthend my resolve and told myself that moving to Philadelphia was what I wanted, what I had wanted for a long time, since I was a little girl.

I'm setting now, going through the thing of my childhood. I am only taking my clothes and a few other personal effects with me on the train to Philadelphia, goodnees it is funny to think that you used to have to leave Rock Springs on a stage, not a train. I set on my bed and I can feel the tears falling down my cheeks as I think about the look that was on Ethan's face as I looked at him and told him that I was leaving. I could see his heart breaking in his eyes. Those blue, blue eyes. I always seemed to fall in them any time I looked at him. They were so deep, so clear. What would happen in the two years that I was gone? Would he fall in love with someone else? He had asked me what I would do if I met a nice gentelman suitor in Philadelphia. I had laughed and said that I was going to there to work for my Aunt and to gain a little refinement so that I could come back to Rock Springs and settle down. I laugh at that now. I know my mother would be pleased as pie if I met someone in Philadelphia and settled there, away from Rock Springs. I know as much as she loves my father she has never loved his job or living in Rock Springs.

I have dried my tears and I am putting things in a trunk for safe keeping when my brother Oliver comes into the room. He knocks, which suprises me. "Em?" he says. I almost cry I thought Ethan was the only one who called me "Em".

"Yes Oliver."

"Are you ok?"

"Fine." I reply.

"Well you just looked kind of sad when we got home. Did you and Ethan have a fight?"

"No. I told him I was leaving." I tell my brother.

"Oh." he says. "Was he upset?"

"I think so. Oliver do you ever feel like your being pushed to do something that maybe you don't want to? Like you've been told your whole life that something is so wonderful and so you do it to keep from disappointing someone else?"

Oliver sets down in my chair. The once rolly polly boy of our youth has grown to be straight and thin and tall. "Everyday."

"What do you mean?"

"Emily, I don't want to work in the bank. I don't want to become a stuffy banker with pale skin. I want to work outside, maybe at the livery stable."

"Oh Oliver! Don't let Mama or Papa here you say that."

"No it's just Mama. She wants us to be great things and so we'll oblige her because we love her. We will do what she wants us to." Oliver says. "Monday I will put a suit on and go to the bank and begin to learn all the fine things about being a banker and then I will probably marry a bankers daughter or a girl from the right side of the tracks."

"Yes I suppose. And I will go to Philadelphia and work for Auntie.

"Yes and either you will fight mother and come back to Rock Springs and be with Ethan or you will become an unhappy old maid like Auntie."

"Thank you for the encouragement Oliver!" I say, slapping his knee.

"Working in the bank won't be that bad you know. You can find other ways to get out."

"I know." Oliver says.

He leaves shortly after that and I go to my writing desk. I will need to take writing paper with me to uphold my end of my promise to Ethan, to right everyday. I know he loves me. I've known that for a long time, since I was probably just a girl of 12 but he has never tried to do anything about it. He has watched me step out with various suitors and yet he just sets back and does nothing. I wonder why, is he afraid, is he afriad that I won't return his feelings. I mean I don't know how he can't see my feeling for him when I look at him. Maybe it is just easier for girls.

My Mama comes in then and says, "Would you like any help getting ready to go to Aunt Mary Anne's?"

"No thank you." I say.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Mama ask me.

"Nothing." is my reply.

"Well it certinaly doesn't look like nothing. You've looked sad ever since we left the Stablers."

"I told Ethan that I'm leaving."

"Oh. Was he upset or angry?"

"No but he looked sad Mama. Like I had just told him that the sun would never shine again."

"Oh, well you two have been friends for a long time."

"I know. Best friends."

"He'll find someone else dear. This is a good oppertunity for you!" Mama says to me. She hugs me tight and kisses my hair before she leaves.

Papa come in shortly after Mama to tell me good night. "Good night Pumpkin." He takes one look at me and says, "You don't want to go all that badly do you?"

"No Papa." I say. There is no sense in lieing to Papa.

"I can talk to your Mama, so you can stay."

"No Papa. This is a good oppertunity for me. I think it will do me good, help to convince me that what I really want is right here in Rock Springs."

Papa wraps his arms around me, "When did my girl get so grown up?"

I just smile at Papa and go into his open arms. He squeezes me hard. "You have to do what you think will make you happy. If it's going to Philadelphia then go, if it's staying here and being courted by every available boy in the country then do that. Just do what is going to make you happy sweetie." Papa says.

I go to bed shortly after that and find my dreams flooded with Ethan. The time we were kidnapped by that terrrible man and how he made a trail so that if given the oppertunity we could escape or if we weren't give the oppertunity our fathers could find us. Or Ethan getting a black eye and bloddy nose from Bobby Greene after he made a rude comment to me. Ethan was everywhere in my life.

The next day I finish packing my things, go and visit a few friends to say good bye. I have a nice supper with my family and then go to bed. I have to get up early the next day to get all my things to the train depot.

The day of my departure I rise early, dress carefully and take my things down to the front porch. I have decided to ensure myself that I'm not making a mistake by loving Ethan that I have to do this. They always say that absence makes the heart grow fonder so it will either grow fonder or it will grow forgetful. Though I am not sure that I could ever forget those blue eyes or that dark hair or that smile.

My family and I have breakfast together and then we all walk to the train depot and I'm suprised to see standing there dressed in his Sunday suit, Ethan Stabler. I feel my breath catch in my chest and hear myself gasp. My brother looks at me and mouths, "He came."

My father smiles and greets Ethan who comes up to us as we approach. "Good morning Ethan."

"Good morning Mr. John." Ethan says. "Ms. Casey, Alexandra, Oliver. Emily."

God I love the sound of my name when he says it.

I see my father motion the rest of my family on down the platform in the pretense of getting my tickets all squared away, leaving Ethan and I standing alone.

"I'm glad you came this morning." I say.

"Did you think that I wouldn't?" Ethan ask me.

"Well I didn't know if your father would need you this morning."

"No he let me go. Oh these are for you." he says thrusting a small boquet of wildflowers at me.

I smile. "Thank you."

"Your welcome. I hope you have a nice time in Philadelphia." Ethan says, looking down and scraping the toe of his boot in the dirt. I can tell that he is nervous, probably the first time he has ever been nervous around me.

"I hope I do too. Ethan." I say moving closer to him, and laying my hand on his arm. "I'm going to miss you."

He looks up at me then. "I'm going to miss you too."

We are so close that I can see the faint stuble of whiskers on his cheeks and feel his breath on my face. His eyes, those blue eyes that I love. He removes his hat and I think, finally this boy has gotten a clue and he's going to kiss me.

Then he suprises me by pulling me into his arms and hugging me. "Take care of yourself Em."

"I will. You take care of yourself too Ethan." I say. I feel tears brimming in my eyes and hear the train coming into the depot. "I have to go now."

"Ok. Have fun. I'll write you everyday." Ethan says to me.

"Alright. Ethan." I say, I almost think about telling him I love him but I don't.

"Em?" Ethan says.

Oh god, is he going to say it me? I feel faint.

"I'll walk you up to the depot." he says.

I board the train after hugging and kissing all my family and telling them that I love them. Then I look at Ethan one last time and think, Should I tell him? Let it out and then go? I decide that it woudl be silly to tell the boy, man of my dreams that I love him and then walk away from him and also imposibly cruel. So I wave one last time and board the train.

Once on the train and down the tracks a few miles I let myself go and I cry. Another girls is setting across from me and she moves to myside. "Are you ok miss?"

I wipe my eyes and smile, "Yes."

"Oh thats good. Where are you going?" she ask.

"Philadelphia, yourself?" I ask.

"I'm going there too. To a home for wayward girls."

"Why?" I ask.

"I'm pregnant miss. My parents didn't want the shame of an unwed pregnant daughter."

"Oh how terrible!" I exclaim.

"What's your name?"

"Emily." I respond. "What's yours?"

"Louise Miller." the girl responds.

"How old are you Louise?"

"Sixteen. You?"

"Sixteen as well. Where are you coming from?"

"Lawton." Louise told me.

I knew Lawton well, my mother and I often went there to shop. I spent the rest of my trip with Louise and even told her that I want to help her anyway I could. I thought that it was wrong for parents to send their child away when she was with child. I made it my resolution to keep the people at the home for taking Louise's child. We became fast friends and I then felt that I was going to Philadelphia for a reason. Even if it meant leaving Ethan for two years.