The Drabbles of Random Deaths
Part III:
♥ Beating Up Harry Potter 101 ♥
Staring:
Me, Shannon
XxTotallyObsessedxX, Nikki
HollyluvsArty, Eve
Evil Shall Giggle, Evil
Isilthrar, Molly
Crazygirliecaptain, Lindsay
Artemis Fowl Characters
Harry Potter Characters
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Hogwarts' students enter classroom)
Prof. Snape: (looks creepy as always) Now students, in today's dark magic class, we will be turning dog poo into a possessed rabbit.
Students: (blink) (stares)
(Poke)
Harry: (sighs) (turns around) Will you please stop poking me in the back of my head?
Random Student Behind Harry: (shrug)
(Poke)
Harry: (whispers to Ron) This guy is poking me with some-
(Poke)
Harry: (turns around) Will you stop?! It's getting rather annoying. (Turns back)
Random Student Who Turns Out to Be Shannon: (positions rifle behind Harry's head) Oh please I get a clean shot…
Lindsay: (whispers) Well if you would stop poking him with your rifle!
(poke)
Harry: (turns around) (glares)
Shannon: Wasn't me.
Molly: Just shoot him already!
Prof. Snape: (keeps looking creepy) Molly, you seem to be unoccupied with this class. Care to try?
Molly: (stands and walks up to front desk) (stares at dog poop)
Random Student Who is Not Shannon: Ha-ha, she likes dog poop!
Molly: (puts on surgical glove) Oh yeah? (Picks up poop and throws at the random student's face) You're the one who's eating it.
(Everyone laughs)
Prof. Snape: That was very irresponsible. Nicole, take her to Dumbledore's office.
Nikki: Say whaaaat?
Eve: Her name is Nikki, professor.
Prof. Snape: (sighs and rubs temples) Whatever. Just go.
(Nikki and Molly leave)
Shannon: (positions rifle) Please oh please…
(Poke)
Harry: (turns around) I will ask you once more- hey- aren't you that girl?
Shannon: (hides gun behind back) No, I don't believe I am.
Eve: You should probably run.
Harry: (fearful) (runs out of class with Shannon following)
Prof. Snape: (sighs again) I'm going to need some scotch tonight.
Lindsay: Should we go help her?
Eve: (Grins evilly) I think she'll be fine. Let's go explore a bit.
Meanwhile…
Molly: (gasps and hides, dragging Nikki with her) That's that guy!
Nikki: What guy?
Molly: The guy I keep meeting and making out with! He's gorgeous.
Nikki: Wow, that's a fine one there.
Molly: Uh-huh.
Draco looking oh-so-fine: Hey Mollz.
Nikki and Molly: (giggles)
Nikki: He gave you a pet name! And since when do you care about anybody?
Molly: Now. (Starts making out)
Nikki: (utterly confused)
Back in Classroom…
Evil: Why did everybody leave me? (Sobs)
Outside the Castle…
Harry: (groans) Please… (Helpless sob) Stop…
Shannon: (beats brutally with lead pipe)
Shannon's Thoughts: Am I being cruel?
(Stops)
Shannon: (Drops to knees) I'm beginning to have a heart? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Sobs)
Harry: (tries to crawl away… dragging broken legs)
(Nikki, Molly and Draco run up to Shannon)
Molly: Shannon! Butler came through with us. Though the… the…
Nikki: The purple thingy ma-bobber.
Draco: (looks at Harry crawling) No fair. You got to him before I did. When will J.K let me kick the guts out of him?
Shannon: Technically, I haven't 'kicked' it out of him. I beat him with a lead pipe.
Nikki: Why'd you stop?
Shannon: I. Got. A. Heart.
Everyone: (Gasps)
Evil: (jumps over Harry and growing trail of blood) Why did everybody leave me?
Molly: No time! (Grabs shovel)
Nikki: (holds back) We need to find and save Butler, not kill him!
Shannon: So where is he now?
Crazy Garden
Lindsay: What beautiful flowers!
(Butler drops out of nowhere and crushes flower bed)
Eve: So much for flowers…
(Shannon and friends magically appear)
Butler: Where am I?
Molly: (hits with shovel)
Everyone: MOLLEH!
Lindsay: (hits Molly with shovel)
Everyone: LINDSAY!
Eve: (hits Lindsay with shovel)
Everyone: EVELYN!
Shannon: (takes shovel) Will you STOP! Ugh, why me? WHY ME?! (Gets hit with shovel)
Nikki: Oh, I shouldn't have done that. (Hits self with shovel)
Evil: (Comes running) Hey wha- (looks at all the unconscious people) Aww man! Did I miss something?
Harry: (still dragging himself)
Eve: Hehe, I didn't get hit.
Purple Vortex: (Sucks people into it) You must go home, for Artemis and Holly are in deep trouble!
Evil: One sec. (grabs shovel) (runs into Dark Magic classroom)
Prof. Snape: Okay, what's going on?
Evil: (hits with shovel) A request by FreakyD45663!
(Runs back)
Evil: Say again?
Purple Vortex: (sigh) Just get in here.
(Characters get sucked into talking purple vortex)
------------------------------------------To Be Continued? ------------------------------------------
Shall I continue? What ever happened to poor Arty and Holly? Review and you just might find out!
Your Evil Authoress,
Shannon