A/N: Hey y'all. I was busy as hell. No excuse though. Will be reposting the entire thing. Thanks to Lauren for e-mailing me in plea to get this story going again. It worked.
Note: The following is an instant messaging conversation
Back on the Bike
mutheruv4: you did it!
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet, stop e-ing me! The General will catch us just like he did Bud! Or worse – someone in MY office will find out we're online!
mutheruv4: never mind that, I'm so proud of you!
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet, I have no idea what you're talking about.
mutheruv4: you're ready!
Mac'n'cheese: ready to get back to work and stop being IMd every time you feel bored.
mutheruv4: Mac, stop playing. I know.
Mac'n'cheese: . . .
mutheruv4: I KNOW.
Mac'n'cheese: oh my god, how do you always know?
mutheruv4: You have never heard of the superb psychic powers of a supposedly pregnant woman?
Mac'n'cheese: Seriously, Harriet, how did you know?
mutheruv4: I dropped off some files for Sturgis in his office when he was out and he had left an email from Harm up on the screen.
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet!
mutheruv4: Well, I didn't MEAN to peek. It just . . . happened.
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet . . . you should be ashamed . . .
mutheruv4: oh, give it up, I know you want to know
Mac'n'cheese: Translation, please?
mutheruv4: I know you want to know what the message said
Mac'n'cheese: No, I do not. What Harm said to Sturgis is Harm and Sturgis's business. And ONLY theirs.
mutheruv4: oh, my friend, how severely disconnected you are from the gossip world – living in San Diego.
Mac'n'cheese: where I live doesn't matter! This is WRONG, Harriet. Repeat after me, WRONG.
mutheruv4: Mac, there's nothing wrong with finding out what a man says about you! Now please, just tell me that you want to know and I'll be more than happy to tell you what he said.
Mac'n'cheese: It's still wrong, Harriet
mutheruv4: But you do want to know
Mac'n'cheese: . . . that doesn't matter
mutheruv4: he's crazy about you
Mac'n'cheese: He is not!
mutheruv4: is too
Mac'n'cheese: he didn't actually say that
mutheruv4: . . . not in so many words
Mac'n'cheese: good bye, Harriet
mutheruv4: wait, don't go! I'm bored to death
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet . . .
mutheruv4: He's nervous about talking to you tonight.
Mac'n'cheese: Nervous as in . . . he doesn't want to talk to me?
Mutheruv4: Nervous as in, excited as hell
Mac'n'cheese: How much of his message did you read!
mutheruv4: . . . most of it
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet
mutheruv4: all right, all of it
Mac'n'cheese: that is wrong, and I don't want to know
mutheruv4: okay, so you think my . . . "information" . . . was obtained through
Mac'n'cheese: wrong means
mutheruv4: that was what I was going to say
Mac'n'cheese: yeah, right
mutheruv4: so would you use this . . . informationif you think it was obtained properly?
Mac'n'cheese: I sup – wait, no – NO!
mutheruv4: theoretically speaking, of course
Mac'n'cheese: THEORETICALLY, speaking – yes, I suppose so – but you DIDN'T obtain said info properly so there's no point in discussing this any further. And I know this might come as a shock to you, but I have work to do.
mutheruv4: be right back
Mac'n'cheese: and it's not that I don't appreciate your involvement, Harriet. Really, honestly, I do – I don't know what I would do without you! But . . . I can take care of the Harm situation myself. Honestly, what's happening right now is for the better. Can you understand that?
NavyMan10 has been added to this conversation.
mutheruv4: welcome, Sturgis
Mac'n'cheese: Sturgis?
NavyMan10: Mac, it's been a long time.
mutheruv4: alright, cut the chitchat. Sturgis, your presence is this conversation is about to become very important. Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help you god?
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet! Shut up!
mutheruv4: Don't worry, Mac – I know what I'm doing. Now, Sturgis, do you swear to tell the truth?
NavyMan10: Wait, this is why you just barged into my office demanding that I go online? To question me . . . Mac, should I be scared?
Mac'n'cheese: Go, Sturgis, run while you can
mutheruv4: nonsense, now Sturgis – do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help you god?
NavyMan10: Harriet what are you doing?
mutheruv4: oh come on, you all get to play lawyer every day! I sit hour after hour surrounded by files! Now let me have my fun – Commander Sturgis Turner, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help you god?
NavyMan10: I – I do, I guess
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet, please don't go where I think you're going
mutheruv4: shh, I know what I'm doing, Mac. Now, for my first question – did you or did you not receive an email from a Captain Harmon Rabb today?
NavyMan10: What?
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet . . . please!
mutheruv4: Just answer the question, please, Commander.
NavyMan10: Um, yes . . . yes, I did.
Mac'n'cheese: Alright, Harriet, that's enough. You've had your fun.
mutheruv4: But I haven't even begun!
NavyMan10: well, ladies, as much fun as it has been – I've got to get back to work.
Mac'n'cheese: ditto
mutheruv4: no, no, wait – don't either of you go, yet. Sturgis, could you please inform the court that nature of this message?
Mac'n'cheese: The court?
mutheruv4: what, isn't that what you people say?
Mac'n'cheese: well, yes, but . . .
NavyMan10: I'm not liking the direction in which these questions are heading.
mutheruv4: oh, suck it up – now please, answer the question.
NavyMan10: It was of the personal nature, alright?
Mac'n'cheese: Enough said.
mutheruv4: and what was the subject of said message?
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet!
mutheruv4: hey, I was more than happy to tell you – but NO, you wanted to obtain the information in the RIGHT way.
NavyMan10: excuse me?
Mac'n'cheese: never mind, Sturgis. And that's NOT what I meant!
mutheruv4: oh no?
NavyMan10: well, this has been lots of fun, ladies, we should do this again some time. But I've really got to return to work.
Mac'n'cheese, mutheruv4: stay where you are
mutheruv4: this is a perfectly legitimate way of exposing information
Mac'n'cheese: but, maybe, Harriet – maybe I don't want to find out.
NavyMan10: I'm confused.
Mac'n'cheese: maybe I want to find all these things out for myself! I don't want you to tell me or for Sturgis to tell me or for ANYONE to tell me. I want to experience all these things myself. I want to be selfish and make this experience all my own.
mutheruv4: Oh, honey, all you had to do was just say that from the beginning! I never would have meddled if I'd known . . .
NavyMan10: you know, it wouldn't hurt to tell me what's going on here.
Mac'n'cheese: look, Harriet, I've had so many chances with Him. And I've just got to face it, I blew at the last one. And now all I'm interested in is being friends. And I can handle that, alright?
mutheruv4: oh, don't say you blew it. There's still hope. Where there's a will there's a way.
NavyMan10: he proposed to her, Harriet. And she turned him DOWN.
mutheruv4: no one's asking you, navy man. Besides, you have no idea what we're talking about.
NavyMan10: maybe not, but I have a pretty good idea of WHO you're talking about.
Mac'n'cheese: Alright, that's enough, you two.
AlmightyGeneral has logged in.
AlmightyGeneral: I was not aware, colonel, commander, and lieutenant, that I was paying all of you to chat up a storm all day.
NavyMan10: forgive us, General, we were discussing a highly important subject.
AlmightyGeneral: which would be . . ?
Mac'n'cheese: the Watkins court martial, sir.
AlmightyGeneral: I was not aware that the Commander and the Lieutenant were briefed on that specific case.
mutheruv4: well, that's what we were talking about . . .
AlmightyGeneral: well, though I don't doubt your integrity is in all the right places, colonel, commander, and lieutenant, could you please find another way to keep yourselves informed that does not involve Instant Messaging? You're senior officers, you're supposed to be setting examples for new comers. Now, Turner – I want the Higgins papers on my desk and Lieutenant, please retrieve the Garmont file for me.
NavyMan10: yes, sir.
mutheruv4: yes, sir.
AlmightyGeneral: Colonel, I trust that everything's in order and I look forward to seeing you at the conference in eight days.
Mac'n'cheese: yes, sir.
AlmightyGeneral: now, I don't mean for this to sound crude but – get back to work.
mutheruv4: yes, sir.
NavyMan10: yes, sir.
Mac'n'cheese: yes, sir.
mutheruv4 has logged off.
Mac'n'cheese has logged off.
NavyMan10 has logged off.
Mrs. AlmightyGeneral has logged on.
Mrs. AlmightyGeneral: Gordon?
AlmightyGeneral: yes, dear?
Mrs. AlmightyGeneral: I'm so glad you came up with this Instant Messaging idea. You know, when we get home . . .
To: Sturgis Turner (sturgis(dot)turner(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harmon Rabb (harmon(dot)rabb(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Subject: 20 minutes!
Hi,
I'm meeting her on in twenty minutes! TWENTY! What am I supposed to say? What if I say something stupid? You've got to help me!
Harm
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Subject: 15 minutes and counting
Hi,
Okay, remember what I said today about wanting to experience it on my own and blah blah blah? FORGET THAT. He's coming on in fifteen minutes and I have no clue what I'm going to say! Why did I even TELL him that I'm going to be on. I am freezing up right now!
Dammit, I'm so nervous my HAND isshaking,
Mac
To: Harmon Rabb (harmon(dot)rabb(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Sturgis Turner (sturgis(dot)turner(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: 20 minutes!
Hey Buddy,
I must say I'm impressed. Not only do you get up for Mac's conversation on time – but you're twenty minutes early! Now why didn't you put that same enthusiasm into arriving on time when you were here at JAG?
Never mind, I'll never understand you. But back to your "current situation". What do you normally talk about? Just . . . wing it.
Sturgis
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: 15 minutes and counting
Just calm down. Remember, this is HARM. You've known him for years, you've been friends pretty much since the moment you met each other. This should be easy. It's like riding a bicycle, Mac.
You never forget,
Harriet
To: Sturgis Turner (sturgis(dot)turner(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harmon Rabb (harmon(dot)rabb(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Subject: 10 minutes
Wing it? Wing it! WING IT! What kind of best friend are you? I am going to SCREW UP. I am going to say something stupid, and irrational, and something I never should have said. Hell, I might even end up proposing to her again.
THEN WILL YOU BE HAPPY, DAMMIT?
I am going to see her in six days, Sturgis! Six freaking days – and I'm nervous as hell. What if I say something tonight that will get her mad at me? How are we going to live for that week or two at the conference? I am going to DIE.
Your distressed friend,
Harm
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Subject: 7 minutes
I don't want any freaking bicycle analogies, Harriet! I am meeting him on in 7 minutes! Help meeeeeeee!
This bike is going to be so broken.
Mac
To: Harmon Rabb (harmon(dot)rabb(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Sturgis Turner (sturgis(dot)turner(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: 10 minutes
Hi,
You will not die. You will talk with her, you will laugh with her. You will have a generally good time. You will sign off. You will go to work. Six days later you'll meet her. You will talk with her, you will laugh with her and you will have a generally good time with her.
Now suck it up, because you have five minutes!
Sturgis
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: 7 minutes
Just think positive thoughts. Breathe in, breathe out, think about the good old days. Just . . . chat. About anything, even! Keep yourself calm and in control, and don't forget to tell me what you're talking about!
Now, I've got to go give the twins' their baths but . . . I'll be back soon. Don't forget details!
Harriet
To: Sturgis Turner (sturgis(dot)turner(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harmon Rabb (harmon(dot)rabb(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: 10 minutes
Oh my god, two minutes, two minutes – TWO MINUTES. Should I sign on now? No, I'll look too eager. I'll sign on in exactly two minutes. But then again, maybe Mac's already on line. You know her sense of timing. Then we could get a jump on our conversation.
Oh my god, it's one minutes now. Officially one minute to go. One minute!
Harm
Mac'n'cheese has logged on.
FirstClassFlyboy has logged on.
Mac'n'cheese: hey
FirstClassFlyboy: hi
Mac'n'cheese: so . . . how's everything going over there?
FirstClassFlyboy: um, it's good. Yeah, it's pretty good. You?
Mac'n'cheese: Not bad. Pretty boring though.
FirstClassFlyboy: I can't see how that would be – considering you spent the afternoon IMing.
Mac'n'cheese: . . . and you know about that.
FirstClassFlyboy: what can I say, I've got friends in high places.
Mac'n'cheese: and what do you do all day? Sit and talk to Sturgis?
FirstClassFlyboy: I heard the General caught you.
Mac'n'cheese: Don't change the subject.
FirstClassFlyboy: what were you talking about?
Mac'n'cheese:I can see your insatiable curiosity has not dampened in the slightest since we last parted.
FirstClassFlyboy:Nor has your golden tongue ceased to talk yourself continually out of trouble.
Mac'n'cheese: Pardon me? You act as if I was the one in trouble.
FirstClassFlyboy: hey, you joined me in my escapades.
Mac'n'cheese:you and your ego . . . lol
FirstClassFlyboy (pausing):god, it's good to talk to you again, Mac
Mac'n'cheese: yeah . . . I've missed talking to you
FirstClassFlyboy: ditto
Mac'n'cheese: hey, Harm?
FirstClassFlyboy: yeah . . .
Mac'n'cheese: can we . . .? I mean . . . uh
FirstClassFlyboy: Always, Mac. Any time. . . Now seriously, what were you talking about when you were IMing Harriet and Sturgis? Or should I say who?
Mac'n'cheese:you'll never stop, will you?
FirstClassFlyboy: You know me, Mac. I never stop until I get what I want.
Mac'n'cheese: And when you get what you want . . .?
FirstClassFlyboy: I treasure it for all eternity . . .
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Subject: What's Happening?
Hi,
I just finished Mitch and Nikki's bath. Now update me – what's going on? You're still on line and that means you've been talking to Harm for over an hour! Come on, fill me in!
Harriet
To: Harmon Rabb (harmon(dot)rabb(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Sturgis Turner (sturgis(dot)turner(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Subject: So . . .?
Hi,
Well, don't leave me dangling here! What HAPPENED?
Sturgis
(hours later)
FirstClassFlyboy: well, I've got to get going for work
Mac'n'cheese: yeah, I've got to go to sleep
FirstClassFlyboy: so . . . same time tomorrow?
Mac'n'cheese: sure – bye
FirstClassFlyboy: wait, Mac
Mac'n'cheese: yes?
FirstClassFlyboy: . . . never mind . . . never mind. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Mac'n'cheese: okay – bye
FirstClassFlyboy: oh yeah, and Mac?
Mac'n'cheese: yeah?
FirstClassFlyboy: I had fun . . . this morning
Mac'n'cheese: I had fun too, Harm
FirstClassFlyboy has logged off
Mac'n'cheese has logged off.
A/N: I will try and repost every day or every two days till we're all caught up. (For those who don't know, this story was like thirty chapters originally then the ff net deleted it so now i'm reposting). Reviews are appreciated.