A/N: See, I really am posting faster. I wanna get caught up on this story so I can finally finish it. Only like . . . fifteen more chapters to post. Yaay.
Step by Step Directions
mutheruv4: hmm . . . okay, clean uniforms? (dress/formal)
Mac'n'cheese: check
mutheruv4: okay, civvies for both cold and warm weather?
Mac'n'cheese: check
mutheruv4: comfortable shoes?
Mac'n'cheese: definitely
mutheruv4: book for the plane?
Mac'n'cheese: I can't decide, Da Vinci Code or To Kill a Mockingbird?
mutheruv4: haven't you read both?
Mac'n'cheese: well . . . yeah . . . but they were both really good!
mutheruv4: go with which ever one's longer . . . you read fast
Mac'n'cheese: anyways – back to the check list. Deodorant?
mutheruv4: oh damn . . . thanks for reminding me . . . check
Mac'n'cheese: let's see . . . what else – oh, you've got your blackberry, haven't you? PLEASE tell me you've got your blackberry.
mutheruv4: Relax, take a breath. I wouldn't miss carrying this thing around for the world.
Mac'n'cheese: Doesn't it rock that the General got the government to loan them to us for the conference?
mutheruv4: Tell me about it – I think everyone that's going has one . . . at least, I saw both Sturgis and Jen with them . . . and I mean, I know Sturgis is a senior officer – but Jen!
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet!
mutheruv4: I didn't mean it THAT way. What I MEANT to say was that Sturgis and Jen are of such . . . rank-related variety that it would SEEM as if they're giving the blackberries to everyone.
Mac'n'cheese: nice recovery
mutheruv4: thanks
Mac'n'cheese: but it's a real shame we don't get to keep these things. They're handy . . . especially email-wise
mutheruv4: I know! This'll be great, especially for baby sitting.
Mac'n'cheese: Oh yeah, I meant to ask – what are you going to do about the kids while you're in conferences?
mutheruv4: well, hopefully Bud and I will have alternating seminars, different ones for different positions. And seeing as I am (unfortunately) under filing duty . . . well, hopefully Bud and I won't run into too many problems. But if we DO have the same seminar then . . . I don't know, we'll TRY and find someone to watch them.
Mac'n'cheese: If I'm not in the seminar I'll be glad to watch the kids, Harriet.
mutheruv4: oh, nonsense, Mac! I couldn't ask you to do that . . . with Commander Rabb on the prowl
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet!
mutheruv4: figure of speech.
Mac'n'cheese: my ass, it's a figure of speech. Harriet, there's nothing going on between me and Harm.
mutheruv4: and with that attitude there never WILL be!
Mac'n'cheese: . . . well, maybe that's for the better.
mutheruv4: no, no, NO! No pessimistic talk like that. We are going to get on that plane tomorrow, depart for London, and you are going to meet the love of your life, and it'll be like the happy ending of some long awaited fairy tale.
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet, this is not Cinderella and I'm not getting ready for the ball. I'm going to London on business. Everything is going to be strictly professional . . . did you try out the personal email on the blackberry yet?
mutheruv4: yes, isn't it wonderful? Practically instant messaging, and stop changing the subject!
Mac'n'cheese: you're the one who changed the subject! We're supposed to packing here . . . now, how many pairs of socks do I need?
mutheruv4: hmm . . . hard to say. I doubt we'll be able to do laundry there. But then again, if you go over to Commander Rabb's apartment . . .
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet! Stay on topic! How many pairs of socks!
mutheruv4: you're blushing just thinking about it aren't you?
Mac'n'cheese: that's not the usual facial expression that comes to mind when I'm thinking about socks.
mutheruv4: With all do respect, ma'am . . . you're hopeless
Mac'n'cheese: thanks, truly. Sincerely.
mutheruv4: I mean, not in a BAD way . . . but you just have to make the effort. Didn't he make the effort?
Mac'n'cheese: If you call 'making the effort' proposing to someone before telling them you loved them, before even going on a date, before all that and then suggesting that they move halfway across the WORLD to be with them then he definitely made the effort.
mutheruv4: and you were touched. Mac, why didn't you just say yes?
Mac'n'cheese: because . . . because he loves the Navy, he truly does. And I love being a Marine. And it would have meant the end of one of our careers. Besides . . .
mutheruv4: besides what?
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet, he never once said he loved me. I think . . . Harm's never been good with change, you know? He doesn't like to feel that the present day is slipping away from him. He likes to be in control. And . . . I think he was just scared of losing me.
mutheruv4: Mac, he has every right to be scared . . . but that doesn't mean his proposing to you was based on that reason alone. I think that's actually what got him kicked into gear. He thought he had all the time in the world to propose, and then suddenly when there's a deadline . . .
Mac'n'cheese: it's not just that! We've been together TEN years. Well, okay . . . we didn't really speak much this year. But besides that, NINE years! Don't you think that if ANYTHING were to happen, it would have happened already?
mutheruv4: it sounds like you've made up your mind before you even gave it a shot.
Mac'n'cheese: I have given it a shot, Harriet. I've given it plenty of shots. When I'm . . . ready, he never is. And when he is . . . well, it's only when I have one foot out the door. I've seen the routine too many times to think he actually CARED about me, Harriet.
mutheruv4: you don't think Harm cares about you?
Mac'n'cheese: no, I mean – OF COURSE I DO. He's been through hell and back for me . . . and I'm grateful. Honestly, truly I am. But . . . it's not enough that he cares about me. He's got to care for me. Do you understand where I'm coming from? He can't just love me as a friend . . . it's got to be something more. And with Harm . . . I don't even know if he KNOWS the next step. I've never seen him take it.
mutheruv4: Mac, there are plenty of ways to look at love – there's the scientific way with all the little steps and the trips and that will get you nowhere when it comes to action – and then there's doing what your heart tells you. Mac, I think Harm loves you in every way possible.
Mac'n'cheese: But Harriet, this is not ninth grade! This is not some stupid end of the year dance where everyone pairs up because they think they like each other! We're adults, and we never even got as far as a couple of teenagers!
mutheruv4: you're saying you never danced?
Mac'n'cheese: No . . . I mean, of course we have. But not in THAT way!
mutheruv4: What way?
Mac'n'cheese: the I want to BE with you way. You know . . . we're FRIENDS, Harriet. Friends dance . . . but in a different way. Ugh, come on – I know you're just trying to get weasel me into some little verbal corner.
mutheruv4: Mac, I am appalled! To think that I would weasel anyone into a little . . . corner. I was just stating the obvious.
Mac'n'cheese: Care to elaborate, counselor?
mutheruv4: that your and Harm's "feelings" go deeper than friendship.
Mac'n'cheese: I do not how you put little quotations around our "feelings" for each other. What did you mean by that?
mutheruv4: well, Mac . . . you've got to admit. You and Harm have never been the most emotionally . . . connected.
Mac'n'cheese: Again, what do you mean by that?
mutheruv4: We all KNOW there's attraction between the two of you, but it's never seemed to be strong! Or . . . not strong enough to get you through . . . whatever you're going through. Every time it seems like one of you is about to take a step forward, the other takes two steps backwards.
Mac'n'cheese: Hey, I'll have you know that the attraction between the two of us IS strong! It's stronger than you'll ever BELIEVE. And as for this little step dance that you seemed to have portrayed – I'll admit there have been quite a few steps backwards, but there were LEAPS forward, Harriet. LEAPS. And that'll overcome steps any day! And so you can just stop undermining Harm and my "feelings" towards each other and . . .
mutheruv4: . . .
Mac'n'cheese: why Harriet Sims, you royally played me.
mutheruv4: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
Mac'n'cheese: the proverbial verbal corner . . . and I even taught you that.
mutheruv4: well, you ARE the best in the business, Mac.
Mac'n'cheese: I surrender my crown to you, Harriet.
mutheruv4: Oh, wait – one sec. AJ's coming down the stairs holding . . . oh my god, is that a FROG!
Mac'n'cheese: what, where did AJ get a frog from?
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet . . ? Harriet . . .?
mutheruv4: HI AUNT MAC! IT'S ME, AJ! GUESS WHAT I JUST GAVE MOMMY!
Mac'n'cheese: what, AJ?
mutheruv4: A TOAD! IT'S BIG AND IT'S BROWN AND IT LEAVES GOO ALL OVER YOUR HAND WHEN YOU TOUCH IT. WANT ME TO GET YOU ONE TOO?
Mac'n'cheese: no thanks, maybe next time, AJ.
mutheruv4: omg, that was the GROSSEST thing that I have EVER touched! It was brown and it was . . .
Mac'n'cheese: gooey. I know, AJ told me.
mutheruv4: He was on IM?
Mac'n'cheese: yeah, just now. Why . . .? You don't think he . . . saw anything, do you?
mutheruv4: well, I mean . . . he can read, sure, but I don't think he could read ALL of the words in our conversation, much less understand them all . . .
Mac'n'cheese: and besides, who's he going to tell? He's seven years old.
mutheruv4: yeah . . . yeah . . . help convince me, Mac.
Mac'n'cheese: Harriet, he's a seven year old boy! He has better things on his mind then his gossiping aunt and mother! He's probably . . . blowing up a lego castle right about now. Or torturing his little brothers, or . . .
mutheruv4: thanks, that's quite enough ideas, Mac! The way you make it sounds, one might think I was raising a terrorist.
Mac'n'cheese: lol
mutheruv4: yeah, laugh all you want. But you're not the one that has to get up at six a.m. tomorrow to bathe her probably screaming brawling crying little children, then clothe them, then feed them. Then pack their suitcases (again, because AJ and Jimmy took the house as tornados and unpacked all of the previously packed suitcases) and then of course we have to arrive at the airport on time, check in the luggage, and –
Mac'n'cheese: alright, Harriet, you're making me dizzy just thinking about it.
mutheruv4: yeah . . . and . . . oh, okay, Bud's yelling at me to get off the computer (as if HE has anything important to do on it) and he still thinks we're doing the packing check list.
Mac'n'cheese: which we SHOULD be doing . . . okay, so where were we?
mutheruv4: socks
Mac'n'cheese: oh right . . . how does ten pairs sound?
mutheruv4: ten pairs? You're VISITING not MOVING.
Mac'n'cheese: jeez, fine . . . how many pairs then?
mutheruv4: seven – so that if you stay longer than a week you have a iron clad excuse to go over to Harm's apartment to wash your . . . ahem, socks.
Mac'n'cheese: you're so bad
mutheruv4: hey, maybe you could take some of my laundry over too! That way you could stay extra long . . .
Mac'n'cheese: I'm logging off now!
mutheruv4: ugh, I SHOULD log off now . . . it's about time I did. Oh, no . . . Mitchell's just entered the room and he's covered in blue paint. He's got blue all through his just-two-hours-ago-washed blond hair. . . . (whimpers) save me!
Mac'n'cheese: kiss Mitch for me, I'm going to have a nice long bath!
mutheruv4: can Mitchell join you? I swear he doesn't splash that much.
Mac'n'cheese: I like to keep my bathtubs baby free, thanks anyways though.
mutheruv4: I'll see you at the airport tomorrow.
Mac'n'cheese: Count on it.
mutheruv4: Bye
Mac'n'cheese: Bye
mutheruv4 has logged off.
Mac'n'cheese has logged off.
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Subject: my new blackberry!
Hi,
Alright, here I am at the airport emailing me from my new blackberry! Honestly, have you EMAILED someone off it yet? It's really lovely – I've got to get myself one of these. But seriously, where are you and Bud? I'm at the gate to the terminal and you guys haven't showed yet. We're supposed to board in fifteen minutes.
Mac
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: my new blackberry!
We're COMING, okay? We were about to leave the house when AJ just needed to go to the bathroom so we stopped and waited for AJ to finish his business. He took FOREVER. And then we're halfway to the airport when Jimmy needed to go the bathroom so Bud had to pull over at the nearest gas station for him to go and then as SOON as we get to the airport, the twins have both left us presents in their diapers.
What can I say Mac? I should have just named all my kids JOHN, they're in their so damn much.
You're bathroom sick friend,
Harriet
P.S: John Number 1 just ran ahead. See if you can see him, will you?
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: my new blackberry!
Does John Number 1 come in the form of a blonde speeding bullet that insists upon going by the name 'AJ'? Because if so, I am currently holding John Number 1 in captivity upon the arrival of his parents – WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BOARDING A PLANE IN FIVE MINUTES!
Mac
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Subject: See, we made it okay
Ha,
See, we made it on the plane with two minutes left to spare AND we got to board the plane before you because of the Johns. Hee hee hee, I could have loaned you one of them if YOU wanted to get on the plane early too – you know, the 'small children' excuse? I swear John Number 3 is quiet as a mouse as long as he's away from the other Johns.
Harriet
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: See, we made it okay
Remind me again which one John Number 3 is?
Mac
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: See, we made it okay
Mitchell. Now what seat do you have? I can't see you from where we're sitting – we're 27 A, B, C, D, E, and F.
Isn't this so exciting, Mac? We're going to London!
Harriet
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: See, we made it okay
Congratulations! You guys officially make up an entire row! And you can't see me because I'm on seat 4 B and stuck in between a woman whose breath smells like smoke and a guy who won't let me have an inch of armrest.
Wanna trade places?
Mac
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: See, we made it okay
Believe you me, you don't WANT to be sitting with this crowd. AJ just spat gum into Jimmy's hair. And what do you know? I'M the one sitting with AJ and Jimmy. Bud got the quiet peaceful sanctity of the twins.
Harriet
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: See, we made it okay
Harriet,
There's no such thing as 'the quiet peaceful sanctity of the twins'.
And look at it this way – the more excited that AJ and Jimmy are in the plane, the more tired they will be when we actually LAND in London. It's eight hours, Harriet. We ARE supposed to sleep on the plane. EIGHT HOURS.
Mac
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: See, we made it okay
Stop reminding me.
Harriet
P.S.: John Number 2, coming your way – catch him for me, will you? I lost him around the bathroom area.
P.P.S: YES, he had to go again!
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: See, we made it okay
No need to worry. John Number 2 is safe and sound and is currently sleeping in my lap. Question: now that he is ACTUALLY sleeping, do you really want to move him?
Mac
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: See, we made it okay
Oh, Mac, I couldn't have you with Jimmy on your lap all night. It would be uncomfortable and as you have constantly reminded me, it's an EIGHT HOUR flight.
Harriet
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: See, we made it okay
It's no trouble. Honestly, Harriet. This way you'll get some rest, and AJ will get some rest, and maybe Bud and the twins will get to sleep and Jimmy's already out like a light. I don't mind it, he barely ways anything.
Now, I'm going to turn my light out. I think I'll go to sleep along with Jimmy.
Mac
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: See, we made it okay
Well, if you're sure then. The moment he becomes too heavy or out of control, you know where our seats are.
Harriet
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Bud Roberts (bud(dot)Roberts(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Subject: stop emailing Mac!
Honey, you're not supposed to have blackberries out when you're on a plane! It interferes with the . . . electrical . . . thingy. Anyways, you're not supposed to have those things on. And for Christ's sake, you were talking to Mac until midnight last night. You're on the same plane, you know.
Bud
P.S: where's Jimmy?
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Bud Roberts (bud(dot)Roberts(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: stop emailing Mac!
Oh, plenty of people use their blackberries on planes, Bud. Look, the guy sitting behind you isn't supposed to be using his cell phone either, BUT HE IS. And I'll have you know that the woman I am conversing with happens to have John Number 2 on her lap so please . . . show a little respect.
Harriet
P.S.: how many more hours?
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Bud Roberts (bud(dot)Roberts(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: stop emailing Mac!
Johnny whatsit?
Bud
P.S.: 6
Travel Journal of Sarah Mackenzie
Well, today dawned bright and early. I know I said Jimmy (or John Number 2) is light – and he is. He's small and even thin for his age, but when you have someone of his weight sleeping on your lap for seven hours . . . those past days when you could FEEL your legs begin to seem like a dream. And he kept ROLLING around!
I just delivered him to his seat. Mitchell and AJ are still out like a light but Nikki seems to be wide awake and insatiably hungry. According to Harriet, that's Bud's problem. He took the twins, he took Johns 1 and 2. And besides, she said as I stared at her beseechingly – Bud packed bottles.
Ten minutes till we land. Alright, I suppose in journals you're supposed to confess things right? You know, like things you might never actually say to anyone in REAL life, just to get it all out? That kind of stuff? Well – here goes.
I'm nervous.
No, not nervous . . . I'm more excited. Definitely excited.
I feel all tingly right now. And no, not the first-air-jump-from-a-plane type tingly or first-date type tingly. It's a whole new kind of tingly. And that scares me half to death. I'm just going for a conference . . . I hate the annual JAG conference. It's a bore, I sleep through it all week and Harm always seems to have his qualls on the week of the conference . . . I wonder how he does it. You are supposed to book several months in advance.
Harm's supposed to pick us up at the airport. That's what Harriet said, anyway. She said she talked to him on the phone last night. I didn't. I mean, we've been emailing and I'm glad to say, oh journal of mine, they tend to get slightly more personal . . . you know, gradually, step by step.
God, I sound like Harriet.
Oh my god, I can see through my window (okay, not MY window, the woman I've christened Smokey Mouth's window) London! I mean, I can see it and all its magnificent slightly weird shaped building and I can even see all the little cars driving around on the little highways! And hey, maybe even one of the cars is Harm's! Yeah, coming to pick us up from the airport!
Oh no, the tingling is back. Dammit, I just HAD to say his name, didn't I?
Oh – we've landed! Our plane has touched the runway! We are moving very fast and my hhhaand is shakking . . . . there, we've stopped. Oh, now we're getting out of the plane. Till next entry,
25/07/05
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Subject: Okay, I got my luggage
Hi,
Just got my luggage! Have you gotten yours? God, the crowd is sooo thick, I can't even see you! Where are you? Beginning of the conveyor belt, middle, or end? And where are we supposed to meet Harm? I can go get a trolley for the suitcases and check if he's there if you want.
Mac
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: Okay, I got my luggage
Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you? Getting a little sneak peek at Harm before we're all there? Oh, and we're at the beginning of the conveyor belt. Bud insists that if the luggage comes out he doesn't want to have to wait for it to come around to him.
Ugh, men.
Harriet
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: Okay, I got my luggage
I read you loud and clear, girlfriend. Men. (Bud must find this really annoying that we're emailing back and forth right in front of his nose). I mean, it's not like we can say THIS out loud in front of him, but still . . . oh, he just gave us the GLARE, Harriet. THE GLARE. I must say, I'm offended.
Now where's Harm supposed to be?
Mac
P.S.: the twins look like they slept well.
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: Okay, I got my luggage
Oh yes, the twins are wonderfully well rested. Now, I say we split up and scout around the different sections of the visitors room. This crowd's so big . . . yeah, we definitely need to split up. You take left side, I'll take right, Bud can go right down the middle.
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: Okay, I got my luggage
Okay, I am . . . pushing my way through a rather scary looking crowd (just passed a group of eight Goths . . . and one of them saw me and stuck out his tongue – not as in the little kid making fun kind of sticking out of the tongue, but the rolling deliciously licking kind of tongue). Help me, and I do NOT see Harm!
Mac
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: Okay, I got my luggage
Tell me about it! I've got Jimmy on one hand and I'm pushing Nikki's stroller and some GUY just sat down right in front of Nikki and started giving her googly-eyes. I have never pushed a stroller faster.
And I'm very positive Harm is not on this side of the lobby. Maybe Bud's getting better luck.
Harriet
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: Okay, I got my luggage
Yeah, I definitely think he's on Bud's section. I mean, this crowd isn't too tall and I can't see . . . oh wait, I see him! I see him! I . . . oh . . . .
Mac
To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: Okay, I got my luggage
Oh what? OH WHAT? Has he like . . . grown his hair something? What? I'm coming over . . . wait, where are . . . oh . . . that's . . . oh . . . no . . .
Harriet
A/N: Okay, let's take a vote. Who remembers why Harriet says 'oh no'? If you know, review. If you don't . . . mwahahahahahahahahah. Review and tell me so I can evilly laugh again.