To London With Love Chapter 22: A Little Rusty, a jag fanfic

A/N: Woot. Woot. NEW CHAPTER. Like just written. Hot off the press. Broke my thumb playing volleyball yesterday, so you have no clue what kind of pain I went through to make this happen right here.

Also, I know this is the JAG section and everything but on the offchance that any of you watch Law & Order SVU, my usual channel didn't play it this week but apparently it did play for some people, so if you are one of those fortunate ones who saw what happened, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL ME.

A Little Rusty

"Hello, you've reached the residence of Captain Harmon Rabb Junior. I'm sorry, I can't take your call right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."

"Captain, it's the General. I have an urgent matter to discuss with you and Colonel Mackenzie, but considering the fact she is currently unreachable, she of course has to be with you. All I can say is, I hope you haven't managed to get her shot by a poacher again. Yes, AJ told me about that. Please contact me ASAP."

"Hey, Harm, it's Harriet. I was just wondering if I could talk to the kids but … well, since you're out, if you could just call me at the hotel when you're back, and I could say good night to them. Anyways, hope you're having a good time … see you soon …"

"Hey Harm, it's Sturgis. I was wondering if you wanted to catch a game this weekend? But I know you're with the kids so I understand if you don't want to. But I've got two tickets to the basketball game, front row … just sayin', you'll be very sorry if you miss this, buddy."

"Hey, Harm. Harriet again. Just calling to see if you're back yet … well obviously you're not … just don't forget to call me, okay? I'm starting to miss the kids … well, hope you're having fun … bye."

"Hey, Harmy! It's me! So what's your sexy self up to today? Heehee. Hope it's not something too naughty! Especially not without me!! Heehee. Call me, babe!"

"Harm, I'm getting kind of worried now. Where are you? I want to speak to my –"
"Mommy?"
"AJ! Thank god you picked up the phone! Where's Uncle Harm?"
"He's looking for Aunt Mac."
"Looking for her?"
"Yeah, Aunt Mac's gone missing. She disappeared after giving Jimmy a bath."
"AJ, put Uncle Harm on the phone."
"But I –"
"AJ, please, give the phone to Uncle Harm."
"But – crackle beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep"
"AJ? AJ? AJ!"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

2245
Harm's Apartment
Harm's POV

"Mac?"

I opened the closet door. There, in the small left corner, was a very red-faced Marine. My jackets and windbreakers were mostly thrown haphazardly around the closet, my longer jackets hanging from above, shielding most of her body from sight. But her shoes still poked out, and between the jackets, I could see her shielding her face.

I sighed and entered the closet. "Mac?" I repeated.

"Hey."

Her voice was kind of high, and I remained quiet long enough for her to somewhat relax. I smiled, but it was lost in the dark of the closet. "So," I said slowly. She remained silent. "We should talk about this."

"How about …" Mac stopped mid-sentence. She closed her eyes for a brief second, then continued. "How about … we just don't?"

"What?"

Mac closed her eyes again. "How about …" she whispered slowly. "We just … don't … We don't talk. We don't share our feelings. We just don't."

"Mac, I don't understand."

"You don't HAVE to." The frustration seems to seep into her voice. "I don't know what we're doing, Harm … I don't know what we thought we were doing. What we were thinking. We can't just leave our friendship then expect to be able to just pick it up a year later. We were fooling ourselves into thinking we could make this work. And it's obvious from these past few days that we can't do what we're attempting to do. It's best to just … leave it alone …"

"Mac." My voice sounds surprisingly desperate.

"I'm serious, Harm." Her eyes stared fiercely at me. "I don't want to drag this up. I just want to … leave it …"

"Mac," I whispered. I can hear her voice breaking. I can't see her, but I can feel the tears.

"Stop it, Harm."

"Mac."
"Harm…"

And she's in my arms. How many times have we done this? I couldn't even begin to count. And it felt like it had been a long time. My hands on her back, her arms around my neck. It was a familiar feeling, with a certain sense of history to it. Like riding me a bike. You never forget, but you do get a little rusty.

"I'm sorry," Mac said after a long moment.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "For getting emotional just now. I'm just … tired, I guess."

"Yeah. It's been a long day."

"It has."

She looked up at me, and we gazed sort of awkwardly at each other. I was still holding her, and we were both sitting rather awkwardly on my closet floor. I smiled warmly at her. "I guess we should … you know …"

"Yeah," she said quickly, in desperate attempts to spare us an embarrassing moment. She got up. I opened the door and gestured for her to go first. She proceeded forward. "Oh, and Harm," she turned. A tinge of pink had returned to her cheeks. "I'm sorry about that whole … dressing thing …"

"It's okay."

"I mean, I should have knocked. I don't know why I didn't knock."

"It's okay, Mac."

"I always knock. It's like some sort of unwritten rule that everyone obeys. Everyone knocks."

"It's fine, Mac."

"Or at least I should have said 'you decent?' or something to that effect, but I don't know why I just didn't knock."

"Mac."

She looked up, and I found myself grinning at the look of mild shock on her face. "It's okay," I said slowly. "Honestly, I've already forgotten about it."

"But Harm –"

"Mac, stop," I said. "You're tired. I'm tired. The kids are tired. You and me, we're not going to solve anything right now that we can't in the morning. Let's just put this conversation on hold for now. Okay?"

Mac sighed as she relented. "Okay."

"Alright," I said, a little brisker than I felt. I ran my hand through my hair. "Mitch and Nikki are asleep in their crib, and AJ and Jimmy have my bed."

"So … we're sleeping …"

I grinned and gestured at the couches. She just looks at me. "You're joking? Out of this freaking huge apartment, you don't have one guest bedroom?"

"Well, yeah, I do," I said offhandedly, opening one of the closet doors and throwing some pillows and quilts onto the couches. "I just don't have any beds for them."

"That's a smart combination."

"I know, eh?"

Mac shook her head, smiling, as she took a pillow and a quilt and settled down on the far couch. And for the first time that night, I actually got a good look at her. Despite the fact that we'd just spent the last half hour or so talking, the closet was dark and my vision was otherwise impaired. But now, as she laid on top of the quilts with her blackberry permanently glued to her fingers, I realized what she was wearing.

I raised an eyebrow, nodding at her pyjama pants. "Cowboys again?"

"What?" She looked up, a little disoriented for she'd been focused on whatever she'd been writing, presumably to Harriet. She looked down. "Oh yeah," she said smiling. "Well, they are my favorite."

"Mine too."

She looked up at me. "Huh?"

Had I REALLY just said that? Really? "Nothing," I said. "Nevermind."

Luckily, whatever Mac was typing had her thoroughly engaged and I was blessed with no other questions that night. I turned out the light and laid down on my sofa, quilt wrapped around me. A little light glowed from Mac's blackberry, which she was still typing on. I could see her from where I lay. Her eyebrows were furrowed in a sort of thoughtful frown. Her fingers moved rapidly across the keys. I watched her bight her lower lip. She did that a lot. Mac's long hair fell loosely around her shoulders. She wore a faded white t-shirt with her cowboy pyjama pants. I really did like those pants. They displayed so much character.

And I couldn't help wonder, was I watched her, what exactly it was that we keeping her so engaged in what she was doing. It was an email, I thought dully. To Harriet of course. But what, pray tell, was the subject.

To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

Subject: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holllllllllllllllllllllllllllly crap, Harriet. I have stuff to tell you.

To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

Re: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TELLLLLL MEEEEEEE NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I WANT ALL THE DETAILS! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THE LAST HALF HOUR??? I'VE BEEN EMAILING YOU INSANELY AND YOU DIDN'T ANSWER.

To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

Re: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, okay, calm down. I have a perfectly legitimate reason for not answer your emails. I was with Harm! Okay, well … it's complicated. But, let's just say he found me in the coat closet, which didn't seem to surprise him somehow and seeing as the only person on the planet besides myself who knew I was hiding in the closet was you …

Just kidding. I know you told Harm, but I'm not mad. Honestly. I'm not. We spent the last half hour talking and, we actually seem to be moving in the right direction. I mean, I was going to give up on us. I was. But Harm actually seems to be keeping a clear head. He's practically running the show.

To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

Re: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem, Mac. Dear. Honey. When I say I want details, I mean DETAILS details. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's great you and Harm had a nice little chat but … girl, you saw him naked. WHEN I ASK FOR DETAILS, I MEAN SEND ME SOME FREAKING CRUDE PORNOGRAPHIC DETAILS.

God.

Did you ever go to highschool?

To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

Re: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harriet!!! I am not giving you details!!! What are you, some sort of soccermom pervert?

To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

Re: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm hanging my head in shame. My secret is out. NOW TELL ME, DAMMIT!

To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

Re: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No thannnks. I think I'd prefer to keep the details all to myself, thank you very much.

To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

Re: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You suck.

To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

Re: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, well, you – oh, okay, I'm going to go. I think I'm keeping Harm up by typing too loudly.

Talk to you in the morning,

Mac

To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

Re: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Typing too loudly … Mac, these keys are practically silent. The only way you'd be typing too loudly is if he was practically right next to you … Wait … give me a second here …

HOLY FREAKING CHRIST! MAC! GET YOUR ASS BACK ONLINE! IS HE SLEEPING WITH YOU?

IS HE? IS HE? IS HE?

Harriet

To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

Re: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mac!

To: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)

From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)

Re: HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAC!

A/N: Yeah, it was a little short. Sorry about that. I'll try and make it longer for next time, but as I said before … broken thumb … the typing did take a while. Review if you liked the chapter. Or if you didn't. Whatever. I do enjoy feedback.

And PLEASE, if you saw SVU, TELL ME EVERYTHING!