Here comes a fic that I never finished that was born out of a conversation about what would Draco hate more then anything, or what would freak him out. I do not own any of the songs placed in this fic. The first is by Herman's Hermits, and the second song is by Savage Garden.

Draco Malfoy was not at all happy when awoke on one morning to the sound of Blaise Zabini singing at the top of his lungs. The fact that the song was the eternally annoying song Henry the Eighth did not help things. Draco really didn't care if the widow next door had been married seven times before.

"Shut it Zabini!" Blaise just smiled and started to sing it again.

I'm Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She's been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry
Henry the eighth I am

"Second verse same as the first." Blaise was now joined by Montague and Flint (which raised the question… what was he doing there when he was supposed to have graduated years ago?). Draco got out of bed and into the showers before Crabbe and Goyle could join in.

He got into his normal stall and started to take a shower. However when he got out he found out his hair had changed to his least favorite color... Weseley red. Not only that but messy like Potter's. This was no doubt the result of Fred and George Weasley, the infamous pranksters themselves.

This day was already starting to be his worse day in a long time. As he walked out the showers he walked towards where his clothes lay only to find that it was in Gryffindor colors. Draco bit back a curse at the Weasley twins and did some quick charm work on his clothes and hair to return them back to normal. He was not going to allow them to get to him again.

When he reached the common room, it was an interesting sight. Crabbe and Goyle were dressed in pink tutus singing, "I'm a little teapot." It would have been funny had he not already had his day full of pranks. He determined to ignore it and walked out of the Slytherin dorms and onto the Great Hall for breakfast.

On his way there he met up with Ron Weasley, who promptly though himself at Draco's feet proclaiming his undying love for him. Not only was that slightly odd (not to mention frightening for Draco) but it appeared everyone was just looked at them like this was an everyday occurrence. No one stared at the scene that Weasel was making, nor tried to assist him in taking him off his right leg. Finally Draco gave up and walked into the Great Hall, dragging Ron with him attached to his leg, still declaring his love. The sight that greeted Draco when he arrived was shocking.

First off, atop the Gryffindor table Harry Potter was dancing to "I'm too sexy" periodically taking off an article of clothing. Girls and quite a few guys stood around the table watching him, some even drooling. He kept making those musclemen antics and it was disturbing. This was POTTER after all!

Draco decided to be normal and eat breakfast. However that plan was thrown out the window when he found the meal contained cherry-flavored eggs and pancakes that exploded with Marberry syrup. His least favorite. Of course he lost his appetite anyway when he looked up to see Trelawny enter the room and saunter up to the staff table. She then proceeded to engage in a snoging session with none other then Professor Snape. It might not have been that unusual had she not been dressed like Lisa Marie and he like Michael Jackson.

This day was turning out worse then normal. Luckily class started soon. He had charms, which he was actually quite gifted at. However his return to having a good mood was dashed as he entered the room. All the other students were dressed in only white towels and Professer Flitwick (disturbing as it was) was wearing nothing but a thong. There are some things that are not meant to be seen and that is one of them.

He feigned sickness and walked to the hospital wing (with Ron Weasley still attached to his leg) and walked into the doors with relief. There were no towel-donned students, almost nude teachers, Slytherins in Tutus or people shedding clothing. However he thought too soon.

Looking for the nurse he found a scene not to his liking. Madame Pomfrey sat in her room-posing nude while his father sculpted her. He quickly left the room, disturbed at the thought of his father being creative, let alone a naked Madame. Speaking of which, what was Lucius Malfoy doing out of Azkaban?

Draco, again with Ron Weasley in tow, reached Care of Magical Creatures soon enough. Hagrid had brought a set of Gryffins. However they decided Draco was a threat (and mind you he had not even said a word during class or gone close to them) and had flown over and started to attack him. One unfortunately thought he was a restroom and left a considerable amount of droppings on him.

After Draco went back to his dorm and took another shower (luckily managing to dislodge Weasley before going into the shower) and got dressed in clean robes. Luckily he had no classes till after lunch. He decided to take a nap to make up for the sleep he missed earlier due to Blaise's singing.

However once again Blaise arrived to wake him up, this time by singing Twist and Shout with Pansy, Millicent, and Montague as backup singers. Draco sat up and looked annoyingly at Blaise with a scornful look. He then stood up and left the room.

He was having an extraordinary bad day. He walked down to the lake but stopped halfway there. His girlfriend of six days was standing down there making out with Seamus Finnagin. Considering that she had ranted the day before Seamus Finnagin was the one person of her house she would never date, it made him wonder. However he was not about to ask. He just turned around and walked back to the Great Hall.

However that was not much better. Apparently it was vaudeville day because Hermione, dressed in a outfit from the Muggle 1920s get up and stood on the teacher's table and started to sing! To Professor Snape!

And we stare each other down
like victims in the grind
Probing all the weakness and
hurt still left behind and we cry
The tears of pearls
We do it. Oh we do it.

Is love really the tragedy the way you
might describe?
Or would a thousand lovers
still leave you cold inside?
Make you cry...
These tears of pearls

All these mixed emotions
we keep locked away like stolen pearls
Stolen pearl devotions we
keep locked away from all the world

Draco honestly thought she was an all right singer for a Mudblood but it was quite disturbing thing to see. Apparently the girl was pining for Snape of all people and well...that was just... wrong. The fact that the teacher looked like he also felt that way for her was even more disturbing (not to mention that Snape had been snoging Trelawny earlier, which was on Draco's top ten list of things never to see again if he could help it.)

But this time he sat down and bore it because frankly, he was afraid of what he would see if he would leave He could handle Granger's love sick words to his head of house as long as nothing more out of place happened.

A Malfoy craved order. In fact, order was created around Malfoys. This was not order.This was chaos. This had Weasley written all over it. That was it. Those blasted twins had somehow contaminated the school with some sort of trick that made everyone except for Draco insane.