A/N: See, I told you I'd update later this week. For once, I kept my word. I'll try and update next weekend … and for all those still waiting on some sort of conclusion to ATJP, I'm still writing it. Really. However dormant it seems.
Name of this chapter came from the song I was listening to while writing it. 'Be Like That' by 3 Doors Down. Great band, great song. Okay, yeah, to the chapter …
Be Like That
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Sarah Mackenzie (sarah(dot)mackenzie(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Subject: WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey Harriet,
Okay, you haven't replied to my last email so I'm officially worried. You NEVER go THREE minutes without checking your email. What could you and Bud possibly be doing at this time of the night that doesn't allow you to check your email?
... BESIDES that.
I swear to god, Harriet, if you're doing the mattress mambo while I'm in the ER with your four children there will be hell to pay. HELL.
And besides that, I've got a major problem. I can't even begin to explain it over email. You'll freak out way too much over my last one, and I can't risk you getting a hernia or something over what I'm about to tell you.
Want to tell you.
Because I'm not actually going to tell you in this email, I should though, because I have no clue what to do. I really need counseling. explain to me, Harriet, why it feels like I have a hundred guy friends but you're my ONLY girl friend? Really?
I have Bud, Harm, Sturgis, yada yada yada, and you. You.
And it's not that I don't appreciate you, Harriet. Of COURSE I do. But ... God, where IS everyone? I've tried calling you, Sturgis, I even tried Jen. JEN. And I like Jen and everything but God, Harriet, I was about to seek emotional advice from a twenty-something. A TWENTY-SOMETHING.
Where are you?
I repeat.
WHERE ARE YOU?????
2148
Outside Harm's Apartment
"Where ARE they?" Harriet cried in exasperation. She slammed her fist forcefully against the door. It rattled from her assault.
The Admiral leaned himself against the opposing wall. "Well," he sighed. "This was a bloody waste of time."
Sturgis chuckled. "Something always goes wrong with interventions. Compared to what I've seen, this is a relatively minor flaw."
"Oh yeah, and what have you seen?" inquired The General, quite genuinely interested.
"Well when I was on the USS Patrick Henry I had this buddy ..."
"Hey, Harriet, why don't you just email Mac?" Bud offered. "She carries her blackberry around even more than you do."
Harriet rolled her eyes. "Okay, but Mac would have usually emailed me if ... if ... my batteries are dead."
"What?"
"My batteries are dead!" Harriet slammed the back of her blackberry and two batteries fell out.
"Bud, give me yours."
"What? No!"
"Come on, Bud."
"Hey, you wasted your batteries emailing Mac all weekend
"Bud, GIVE ME YOURS DAMMIT."
Sturgis smirked. "Better do what she says. She's got you whipped."
Harriet glared at him.
Bud sighed and forfeited his batteries and Harriet pushed them in. "Okay, I've got two emails from Mac ... wait ... oh my god, oh my god. We need to get to the ER. NOW."
2152
ER Room
Mac's POV
"She's still not picking up?"
I re-entered the room, and threw my cell phone into my purse, "nope."
Harm sighed somewhat distractedly. I looked up at him and then immediately looked away. I felt my cheeks burn. Harm looked down at the floor.
This absolutely gnawing silence seemed to envelope us. I looked up at his tousled hair, his slightly kiss swollen lips, and felt myself shudder. I hated this feeling; this feeling of complete and utter insecurity.
Because that's what I was, insecure, I was insecure with this whole situation. Two weeks ago, I was on my feet. Okay, so I didn't have a significant other. So what? I was comfortable. I had good friends, a good job, a stable life, and now? Now all I have is the ever painful reminder of exactly what I'm missing, exactly why my life is far from perfect. And I have Harm to thank for that.
"Alright, can you follow the light with your eyes?"
Jimmy nodded. "Okay."
Jimmy. He was a beautiful little boy. And I'm not saying that just because he's my godson and everything. He truly is a good looking kid. He's a bit unlike the other Roberts kids in the way that instead of the apparently uniform blonde hair and blue eyes, he's got shockingly dark hair and black eyes. In fact, he looks somewhat like what mine and Harm's child might look like. If we should ever have one, that is.
Not that we would.
I sighed and picked up Mitch, who was rolling restlessly in his baby bucket. "He's okay," I whispered to Harm. "He has to be okay. He's okay, right?"
"He's okay," Harm whispered almost rabidly. "He's okay. He's okay."
Dr. Attridge put down the light and turned back to us. "Jimmy's okay."
We both heaved a huge sigh of relief. "That's great because –"
"JIMMY!"
The door flings open to reveal one very frantic somewhat insane looking blonde woman who immediately bolts forward, seizing a very frightened three-year-old Jimmy Roberts. Of course, we know exactly who that nutcase is.
"Harriet, he's okay!" I said, but she was paying me very little attention.
"Oh, Mummy was so worried about you!" she cried, kissing every inch of Jimmy's skin that she could see. "Are you okay, darling?"
"Mom," AJ drawled. "Lay off, he's okay."
"AJ!" Bud's finally caught up with his wife. "We don't use that kind of language."
I looked over. Standing in the doorway to one very cramped examining room were none other than both Roberts's parents, Jen, Gunny, Sturgis, Tiner, Admiral Chegwidden, and General Creswell. For a second, my mouth just hangs open. Luckily Harm isn't nearly so stunned.
"What are you guys doing here?"
"What are we doing here?" Sturgis countered in typical lawyer-fashion. "What are you doing here?"
"Jimmy hurt himself."
"Right, with no help from you," AJ Roberts snickered.
Harm cast him a half annoyed and half amused look. "Bud, control your kid."
"I'm sorry sir, but he's going through his sarcasm phase," Bud shrugged. "He'll grow out of it soon though. It's been a couple of months."
"Just pray it's a phase," I said. I cast a weighty look at Harm. "There are a couple of people I know who are still waiting on an end to that phase ..."
"Okay, thanks for the input, Colonel," Harm said loudly.
I grinned at him.
For a second, it was as if we were back to our old bantering ways. As thought we hadn't just kissed, our lives hadn't just changed, as if our relationship remained as it always had a limitless friendship.
"But really," Harm said. "Why are you guys all here?"
A shift of uneasy glances rippled around the group, with the ending result as all eyes on Harriet. Harm and I glared pointedly at Harriet.
"Well … don't look at me, you broke my kid."
"Harriet!" I exclaimed in somewhat strangled amusement. "Why are you guys all here?"
"Oh just … little JAG meeting … that's all …" Harriet said. Immediately everyone's eyes cast off to the side, avoiding eye contact.
"Yeah, at nearly ten at night," Harm said.
"While you and Bud are on your 'romantic vacation'," I added.
"Without two of your most senior officers," Harm threw out.
"You know what I think its time for?" the Admiral said loudly. "I think it's time we all go home. General, Colonel, Captain, Commanders, Gunny, Petty Officer, and uh … Harriet …"
Harriet smiled. "I think that's a wonderful idea, sir."
"And we'll just take the kids," Bud added. "Since we're here and all."
"Um, sure," Harm said. We cast a somewhat dismayed look between the two of us. As much work as the Roberts kids were, there was a lot of fun. It was fun pretending as though we were parents, as though we had a family. And it also, somewhat innocently, posed the perfect opportunity for us to spend limitless time with each other while under the pretense of babysitting.
Okay, well, maybe the babysitting part is real.
Kind of.
I mean, they are washed, clothed, and fed, right?
"Alright, guys," Sturgis said somewhat dully. "File out."
We obliged.
Same Time
Same Place
Harm's POV
"Well, that was exciting," the Admiral sighed, once we were in the parking lot. The once dark blue sky had washed into a shade of black, scattered pierced by stars. He sucked in a large breath of fresh night air, and then towards the General. "Can I get a ride back to headquarters?"
"Of course, AJ," the general turned back to us. "Anyone else need a ride to HQ?"
"I wouldn't mind one," Gunny piped up. "I left a couple of things there that I want to get for tomorrow."
"Yeah, I'll come too," Tiner said.
Sturgis turned towards Bud and Harriet. "You guys want a ride with me?" He cast a look at the four tired Roberts children. "I have a van …"
"That'd be great of you, Sturgis."
All eyes flipped towards Mac and me.
"Well … I have a car …" I said.
"Oh, great, sir," Jenny suddenly piped up. "Do you think you could give me a ride back to the hotel?"
Harriet sharply elbowed her.
"Actually, Jen, I have room for one more in the van," Sturgis said quickly. "I mean …" he cast a swift look at his six ride-along. "It'll be a little crowded …"
"That's fine," I interrupted. "I can drive you, Jen."
"No, that won't be necessary," Harriet said just as quickly. "Jen, you're coming with us. That's settled."
And with that, she tugged her towards the van. "Night, Captain! Colonel!"
"Goodnight, Harriet," we both said somewhat hollowly.
"Well," the General said, turning towards us. "We best be off too. See you tomorrow."
"Bye."
And with that, we were alone standing in the hospital parking lot. For a second, Mac and I just looked at each other, as thought uncertain what to do, and then … we burst out laughing.
"Did you see that? The eight of them are going to crowd in a van!" Mac crowed.
"I bet you it only has seven seats," I said, shaking my head laughing. "All vans have seven seats. Not eight."
"The Admiral, the General, Tiner, and Gunny going back to the office! At ten o'clock!"
"Was that not the most bogus thing you've ever seen?" I bellowed.
Mac shook her head, suddenly growing more serious. "They're up to something."
"They didn't want Jen riding with us," I said, as we walked towards my car.
"Well that was pretty obvious," Mac said, opening the car door. "Harriet's never been subtle with elbow jabs."
I looked at her, somewhat in wonderment. "Why do you think they didn't want Jen with us?"
Mac grew quiet beside me, and then finally she said, "They wanted us to be alone."
My eyes flipped to meet hers.
"I don't know what they're doing, Harm," she said quietly. "But Harriet's planned something. And we're right in the middle of it."
To: Admiral Chegwidden (ajchegwidden(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Subject: Rendezvous
Rendezvous at the hotel parking lot.
We've got some serious work to do if we're going to pull this off.
Harriet
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Admiral Chegwidden (ajchegwidden(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: Rendezvous
Harriet,
As much as I've always had a taste for your somewhat … creative … plans, I'm slightly worried. This one's pretty over the top, even for you. There's a good chance they could come out of this absolutely hating us.
AJ
To: Admiral Chegwidden (ajchegwidden(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
From: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Re: Rendezvous
Now, Admiral, this is not a time for pessimism. Everything must go absolutely perfectly if we expect to pull this off. This is opp's going to go down at exactly midnight. I expect all stations to be manned and for there to be constant communication between them. Blackberries out.
Harriet
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Admiral Chegwidden (ajchegwidden(at)theJAGoffice(dot)com)
Re: Rendezvous
Aye, aye, ma'am.
2312
Parking Lot
Mac's POV
"Thanks for the ride," I smiled at Harm.
He smiled back. "You're welcome."
For a second we just sat there in his car, neither of us moving, neither of us willing to move. I looked away. "Okay, well … see you tomorrow …"
"I'll walk you to your door," Harm said quickly.
I looked at him somewhat awkwardly. "You don't have to do that."
"It's alright," Harm smiled. "I want to."
I looked at him uncertainly. "Okay …"
We exited his car and walked through the main lobby, resting as we waited for an elevator. An unsettling silence developed between the two of us. I looked over at Harm, and then away as he looked at me. I fiddled with the zipper of my jacket.
The elevator dinged as it reached our floor. We entered.
"Mac …" Harm said softly.
I looked over at him.
"I really think we should talk," he said quietly.
"About?"
He looked exasperatedly. "You know what about."
I looked away. Yeah, I knew what about. But I could hear it in his voice. See it in his eyes. He didn't want me the way I wanted him. I felt this sort of eruption of frustration. We can't keep doing this dance.
"Mac …" he whispered.
I shuddered at the sound of my name. "Please, Harm," I whispered. "Let's not talk."
"Mac, we have to. There's … there's definitely things that need to be said."
I looked away. "I don't have anything to say."
"What happened before …" Harm began, but I cut him off.
"What happened before was a mistake," I said. I couldn't look him in the eye. "I … I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."
A raw silence filled the elevator.
I looked over at Harm. He just stared at me, the oddest expression on his face, a completely unreadable expression. His voice quivered. "Oh."
The elevator dinged as we reached our floor. I walked gingerly out and Harm followed me.
"Mac," he said again.
Something inside me was hurting. It was this terrible incessant ache that shook me from head to toe. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. What was I doing? What had I just said?
"Mac …"
"I'm sorry," I said, as we stood outside my door. "I'm sorry, Harm, I just can't do this."
"Mac, we have to talk …"
"No, we can't. Please. I just can't." It hurts too much. "Talking won't solve anything."
I opened the door, Harm stood firmly rooted behind me. I looked up at him, eyes begging. "I just can't do the dance anymore."
I turned to move through the door but his words stopped me.
"I'm not running, Mac."
I looked up at him. There was a very chilling sort of intensity in his eyes.
"I'm not running. Not anymore," he shook his head. "Not from you."
And with that, he left.
To: Harriet Sims (ih8barney(at)hotmail(dot)com)
From: Jason Tiner (Jason(dot)tiner(at)hotmail(dot)com)
Subject: Phase 1
Subject A in place. Subject B on route.
I Repeat: Subject A in place. Subject B on route.
P.S: If you'd just heard the dialogue I heard between Subject A and B, your head would be exploding right now.
A/N: Look for more next weekend. And on a different note, WHO SAW GREY'S ANATOMY ON THURSDAY??? I know, I know, you guys are all too high class to watch such a trashy show but on the off chance you did, review or PM me. I'm killing to talk to someone about it.
Oh yeah, same goes for Lost. Dammit, all the good shows aired some excellent stuff this week. Except for SVU, who yet gave me another repeat. But why am I telling you this? … You guys are JAG …
Oh well.