FAULT LINE

CHAPTER 3

EPICENTER OF THE SOUL

Hutch drove home trying to get his head together. Being with Kira had been a rush. The pure physical experience had been so exhilerating that he began to think everything would be okay. But he knew that it was only a short term fix. He had to face his fears sometime but now wasn't the time. Especially when he pulled up in front of Venice Place and saw Starsky's car. Hutch parked in back of the Torino and instead of getting out immediately, he rested his head on the steering wheel. His earlier confidence fizzled as the uneasiness took over. He just did not want to have to face Starsky. He had been trying to avoid contact with anyone who might question him about his attitude lately. How could he explain to someone what he didn't understand himself. He was getting weary of the effort it took to pretend. He didn't know how long it would be before it all came crashing down around him.

Hutch lifted his head and took a deep breath. He reached over to grab the package of laundry he'd picked up the other day. A thought crossed his mind as he held the wrapped package in his hands.

Hutch felt like that tied up package. All wrapped up neat on the outside. The only thing keeping the contents safe was the string around it. If that string broke, everything would come spilling out, falling to the ground and getting dirty. Hutch felt he was held together by spit, a smart assed attitude and fear. If that all fell away, his very being would pour out and contaminate everthing he touched.

Checking his bravado in the rear view mirror, Hutch got out of the car to face another day.

With each step Hutch took, his resolve to keep up his act got bolder. By the time he opened the door to his apartment, his cavalier attitude was back.

He threw the package at a sleeping Starsky and headed straight to the coffee pot.

"Hey Starsk, Susan kick you out of the house? She get tired of your hulking figure?"

Starsky pushed himself up off the couch and rubbed his face. It was late morning but he might as well not have slept at all. His earlier anger at Hutch returned.

"Hutch, we gotta talk."

Hutch buzzed around the kitchen. He found a clean mug, got the coffee measured out and did what he could not to have to look at Starsky.

'Sure, buddy, what's up. Something new with the case?"

"No Hutch, it's about your actions." Starsky glared at Hutch. Hutch continued doing mindless tasks, rather than face Starsky.

"You're playing games here Hutch. You're not being professional!"

Hutch stopped and for the first time stared straight at Starsky. He was all of the sudden offended and ticked off.

"Don't talk to me about being unprofessional. What's your problem here Starsk? You bent out of shape just because I pulled a fast one on you? What's the big deal?"

"You're being a jerk. We had a prior agreement about the assignments for last night. You think it's funny to just do what you want without a good reason?" Starsky's eyes smoldered with anger. They were dark and his face was tight.

"So you go out once or twice with Kira and you think you own her. That's your real problem here isn't it? You jealous? Afraid of competition?" Hutch pointed his empty mug at Starsky and laughed.

Starsky chose to ignore the jibe. There wasn't anything friendly in Hutch's face and Starsky didn't understand.

"That's not what this is about. Plus Kira and I have been dating for a month. You need to focus on the case, on finding this crack pot who's killing girls. You've got such a crappy attitude about all this and you're not acting like part of the team."

Starsky headed for the door but turned around with one more observation. He pointed his finger at Hutch and his voice rose higher with the anger that was building between them.

"Hutch, you brought it up, so listen good. I ain't afraid of competion. I can wipe the floor with you but not this time. There is no question about it. Just back off and do your job."

Hutch threw the dishtowel which landed in the sink and he leaned heavily against the counter.

"Starsky, you want a team effort? Well buddy, you just might need a different partner this time." Hutch's voice had become soft and he felt deflated.

"Well, maybe you should get another partner then. What the hell is wrong with you Hutch?" Starsky waited. Hutch only turned his back to Starsky.

Hutch heard the door slam behind him. He turned around to face an empty room. Damn- how could he pull himself out of this mess? He was hurting his best friend, but he couldn't stop himself.

"Well, that just stinks!" Hutch moved to the center of the room, as if expecting Starsky to come back in through the door. He picked his hat up off the floor that he had thrown earlier. It reminded him that he still had his coat on so he pulled that off and dumped both articles on the floor by the couch.

He landed with all his weight on the couch and grabbed a pillow to push against his stomach. His body felt shaky. He felt like the room was rumbling beneath him. He thought about the harsh words that had passed between him and Starsky. What the hell was the matter with him? If he knew that, he wouldn't look like some zombie high on coffee all the time.

He seemed to be letting everyone down recently. It started with Lionel's murder, then Huggy, then the department itself and lastly, his partner. He had no idea Starsky and been dating Kira for a month. The dark haired man had only mentioned going out with Kira a few times. She didn't mention Starsky at all last night. This hole he was digging himself into was getting deeper and wetter. Pretty soon he'd bury himself in all the crap that was falling around him.

Hutch got up and retrieved his guitar from the corner by the piano. He sat on the piano stool and cradled the instrument between his hands. He strummed a few chords with his eyes closed, trying to find some peace of mind. He felt the numbness lift as the music seeped into his center. For a time, he lost himself in the music until the phone rang. He opened his eyes, sat the guitar back in the corner but contined to sit on the piano bench. The phone rang about 6 times until it finally stopped.

"Probably Starsky anyway." Hutch rubbed his face with his hand and got back up and headed for the kitchen. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat on a straight backed kitchen chair.

He sat there thinking of another time. Hutch had called Starsky the time he'd come home to find Van dead on his living room floor. Starsky came without question, went straight to the cabinet and poured a whisky for the stunned blond man. It was enough to push Hutch into action, ready to face the accusations that had followed.

The beer in his hand now, brought those memories back and he wished that this current problem could be fixed with a drink and his friend. He didn't feel much like a friend now, particularly not a partner. He had let so many people down but it hurt the most that he didn't know how to find his way back to the man he needed most.

His mood was broken by the phone ringing again. He didn't think he could ignore it this time so he got up to answer.

"Hutchinson" His clipped voice sounded harsh in his ears.

"Hutch? Captain Dobey here. Starsky there with you?"

"No cap, he's not." Hutch ran his hand through his hair and sat on the stool by the phone. He tried to steer the conversation away from the next question he knew to expect.

"What's up cap, something about the Golden Lady murders?"

"Yeah, Chenille, the owner, just left here. She brought a note she found that said the spy will die

Die spelled d-y-e. Of course she was pretty upset and she's demanding answers and frankly, I don't blame her."

"Look cap, we just don't have any answers right now. But the note with die spelled like that, could the person be telling us about his next victim? Maybe it means that the jerk thinks that all the women have dyed blond hair, but what's he got against dyed blonds? There just aren't any leads!"

Hutch felt the adrenaline pump into him. Finally, he felt useful and there was something else to concentrate on.

"Hutch, just let Starsky know about the note and work the club with your eyes open tonight. Umm- Hutch--- you okay? Everything okay between you and Starsky?", Dobey asked with concern. He didn't like getting involved in his detective's personal problems, but Starsky and Hutch meant more to him than just employees. He was worried about Hutch anyway.

"Uhhh, no problem sir. Look, I'll fill Starsky in tonight and we'll update our reports as soon as there's progress." Hutch played with the phone cord, wrapping it around his wrist as he started pacing the length of the cord.

"Very well. Just keep track of Kira and Susan and maybe we'll catch a break tonight. Let me know what the two of you think about the note." Captain Dobey ended the call and Hutch went back to the couch.

Hutch stared down at the hat and coat he had dumped there earlier. He kicked both of them but got no satisfaction. Maybe a long, hard jog would relieve his uneasiness and fidgety feeling. He stood up again, suddenly longing for the physical strain and sweat of pushing his body.